[Title is supposed to be "isolated". I'm committed to this X-pun thing now.]

For the X-men, that first day without Rogue crawled by. Gambit just waited till they could send him, and it gave him time to pack, as he probably would not have thought to do otherwise.

Shine interrupted him to give him a package.

"For Rogue," she said. "I won't talk to her, not yet, but perhaps a gift is all right."

Gambit did not ask what it was.

Shine and Kurt spent some time talking about what they'd decided, and Kurt agreed, reluctantly, to their decision.

"I have no power in this," he said. "You must do as Gott tells you. But I vould have gone after her myself, if I could. I find it sad that she must be breaking her heart out there alone."

"Sometimes we have to break our hearts in order to finally mend the right way," Shine said.

"You have a lot of faith, Frau, but I cannot feel that my mother's harshness is the right sort of heartbreak," Kurt said.

Shine had no words for that. She supposed Kurt must feel that Mystique hurting him had not done him any good, even if he had forgiven her. And so it might not have, though it might have done Mystique some good, if she let it.

* * *

Mystique had hoped to be left alone with her regrets or lack thereof, but she was not.

Logan grew tired of his frustrations. He was worried about Rogue. If she'd left on her own without anyone prompting it, he might have accepted it, but as he saw it as Mystique had driven her off just to hurt them, the X-men and Rogue herself, he was livid.

And when nothing was decided for hours, he snapped.

He went down to the cell to have a "talk" with Mystique.

Morph was sitting outside it, perhaps debating whether or not to do the same thing...but he kind of felt that Shine and Wally wouldn't have liked it if he harassed her over it, and what more was there to do if they hadn't gotten results?

This might be more of that mercy that Shine kept talking about.

Anyway, someone had to guard her, and Scott seemed to think no one else could be bothered.

Morph wondered if it was because he didn't go on missions that he was stuck with the job. Even that day, some of the others were off on a slight disturbance. At least it distracted them from the problem briefly.

But Logan had not gone, which didn't bode well for his mood.

"Logan, what are you doing?" Morph didn't like the look in his eye.

Logan opened the door.

Mystique was sitting on the cot she had, going through the book Shine had given her. It was her third read through of it, and it baffled her more each time...but she had literally nothing else to do but read; no one else had given her any form of entertainment.... She might have gone mad without it, it was so dull in there.

But as soon as she saw Wolverine, she knew she was dead.

She jumped up and got as far away as possible, but that didn't stop Logan from coming up, claws out.

"All right, lady, that does it," he snarled. "Just what did you do to Rogue?"

"N-nothing." Mystique hated that her voice was unsteady, but Wolverine was one person she couldn't fool, thanks to his nose, and she hadn't a prayer of fighting him, so she was quite rightly terrified.

"Don't lie to me," Logan said. "I'm not in the mood for games."

Mystique really would have owned up to it all...but her mind went blank in the face of that anger. All she could think was that Wolverine had gone completely mad with rage, and none of the others were close enough to stop him. She had never wished so much that Shine or Wally would come in. She'd have settled for Kurt, even if it shamed her.

She didn't even think to scream, because she figured it would be too late.

Perhaps it was stupid to think this. Logan was not a monster and would not have killed her, as much as he was angry. He wouldn't have done that to Kurt, in any case. But it is hard to think clearly when someone with adamantium claws is pointing them at your throat.

"Well?" Logan said.

Mystique found her voice. "I...didn't.... I just told her the truth, was all."

"Is that so?" Logan said. "And just what's the truth?"

Mystique almost went hysterical. She was close enough as it was with the stir craziness of the cell.

She laughed sort of desperately. "Why that all of you are just alike?"

Whatever she meant by that, maybe just that Rogue treated them all alike, Wolverine took it as an insult.

"I should have known. I bet ya spun 'er some lies. Ya really have no decency at all, do ya?"

Mystique began to notice, over the adrenaline, that her body was throbbing. It didn't help her mind clear at all. 

"Well..." she said slowly, almost in a daze, "what did you expect?"

Logan thought she was mocking him...and she might have been; Mystique didn't know how to do much else.

"If it weren't for Kurt, I swear." He shoved her into the wall...not that hard, because she was still a woman, and Logan wasn't the type to beat up girls, but he wanted to get the truth out of her by scaring her a little... He couldn't tell she was scared enough already. 

However, the force made Mystique scream with shock at how badly it hurt. 

Of course, she'd been slammed into metal bars twice the day before and tossed down stairs--she'd likely pulled something catching herself too. That she could move at all was only a product of her body's extra resilience. But not enough that she wasn't tender all over.

Logan was quite surprised by her screaming, but he thought it might be a ploy.

Morph however, had heard enough.

"Logan," he said, rushing in, "I think you're being a little too brutal. That sounded like it really hurt."

"But it wasn't that hard," Logan said. "She's had worse."

"That's not the point!" Morph said. "And anyway, I don't think shoving women around is right, even if it's to interrogate them. Can't the Professor just do it?"

"Well, he won't," Logan said. "And woman or man, if someone is goin' to hurt one of my friends..."

Mystique barely noticed either of them.

It was almost funny, she thought. All that effort to get away from the mob, and she'd still gotten hurt. She never did seem to succeed at evading injury around the X-men. Maybe they attracted it.

"Just don't," Morph said.

"Why do you care?" Logan said.

"I just think it's not how we treat our enemies," Morph said.

Logan paused. Morph was kind of right...

Morph was actually quite serious. He had no liking for Mystique, but, at least in his right mind, brutality was not his style, and it made him kind of sick.

Mystique began to remember they were there and looked up at them uncertainly.

That look did it for Logan. She didn't seem defiant anymore. 

"I give up," he grumbled, stalking away.

"Are...you okay?" Morph said uncomfortably

What even did you say in this situation?

Oh, sorry my friend hates your guts for turning one of our other friends against us... He's just like that... Oops?

He'd have just imitated Logan saying that, but he didn't think that would work to break the tension with Mystique of all people.

"What does it matter?" Mystique hardly knew what she was saying; she just tried to get to her feet.

That one blow had rattled her too much. Pain seared like fire, and she passed out from the effort.

Morph, not sure what to do in this situation, ran out of the room to look for Hank.

He ran into Shine on the way and told her what happened.

"Go get Hank," Shine said. "I'll go too. He might need help."

She raced toward the room.

Mystique was already starting to come around--the cold floor had done that...but she was in no mood to be jostled by someone, and Shine wasn't strong enough to lift her entirely.

"Get away!" Mystique swung at her.

"You want to lie on the floor?" Shine said. "Whatever is wrong with you anyway? Are you ill?"

"No!" This was so humiliating!

Morph and Hank returned right then.

"Allow me." Hank plucked Mystique up, making her hiss.

Sitting her down, he said, "I think I had better have a look. It's all right--I'm a doctor."

"Don't touch me!" Mystique spat.

"Well," Shine said, "move her enough and she'll faint again, and you can check her all right."

Mystique cast her a look to see if she was serious, and since she was, was silent.

Morph backed out of the room.

Hank checked Mystique and was shocked to find some very nasty bruises on her torso. "I think you may have cracked a few ribs also.... Why did you say nothing of this yesterday?"

"You think I wanted your help?" Mystique said.

"Madame, a years long grudge is no reason for foolishness," Hank said. "The X-men do not let even our enemies get injured and die."

"Hmm, just ask Juggernaut," Shine said. "And Sabretooth."

Mystique didn't find that a flattering comparison.

"Miss Likstar," Hank said, "I will have to bandage her up. Can you help hold her still...? I'll get some pain meds also."

"Meds?" Mystique said, as if he meant poison.

"You are being a child about this," Shine said severely. "How dumb are you anyway? I ought to have known you'd be injured getting tossed around like that. How did you manage to hide it?"

"The adrenaline might have made it all seem negligible till today," Hank said. "But still...well, it was my fault also. I should have checked you all. I'll be right back."

He left.

Mystique bit her lip.

"What kind of pride is this?" Shine said. "I thought walking out of a river with an open wound was stupid, but you had every opportunity to say something till now."

"I know how they all feel," Mystique said. "They'd like it if I suffered."

"What about how I feel?" Shine said. "Really, do I need more to worry about?"

"Why should I care what you feel?" Mystique said.

Shine was quiet. "I don't know," she said finally. "Why should you?"

Silence.

Mystique was weakening under this kind of guilt tripping.

"Well...anyway, I didn't think much of it at the time..." she said, almost apologetically.

Shine softened. "It's too late now, I suppose. Hank is not going to harm you. They treat prisoners well enough, even if the whole idea is stupid."

"You go along with it," Mystique said. "You and Rogue."

"So, that's what you're so upset about," Shine said. "Well, I can't blame you. I'd hate it too."

She sat down against the wall. "I am sorry. It's messed up, family having to think about keeping other family prisoner. But consider the professional side of it also. And perhaps, given what happened with Apocalypse, you should overlook."

"It would be bearable," Mystique said, "if she at least acted as if it mattered."

Why did she admit that? Maybe she was tired of holding her anger inside.

"Would she feel like showing such a weakness to you would be wise?" Shine asked, rather brutally honest. "After how you have exploited her other ones?"

It was too just...Mystique couldn't argue with it.

"You sound like this stupid book." She pointed at it, then winced at the movement. "In fact, I think you could have written it. Sounds just like you in some parts."

"I'll take that as high praise. It's my favorite author," Shine said. "And if I could write anything as brilliant as that, I'd die feeling I accomplished something in my life in the way of art. But I sound like him, not the other way around. I quote it or the ideas in it all the time."

"All that about the gods..." Mystique said. "That's what you believe, I suppose. About the beauty and the hatred and the ugliness...was all this directed at me? You're mocking me."

"I like the story," Shine said. "If I show you my copy, you'd see it's well worn. No, I didn't pick it to mock you. But if you feel mocked, it might help to know that I see myself in those pages and not in the parts you think. Who hasn't been Orual? Or the Queen, as it were. Or Ungit."

"You can't really think you've ever been like that," Mystique scoffed. "She's too despised."

"I don't know about that," Shine said. "Who is more or less despised? She certainly despises everyone else. But I've known that kind of bitterness also. And resentment. I've been treated like the ugly one also. I think it's everyone's story in a way, but particularly anyone's who's been abused."

"A little coldness over your beliefs is not the same," Mystique said. "That book describes what it's like to be treated as monster...I'll give it that much. The ending makes no sense."

"I had a feeling you'd only get it up to a certain point," Shine said, amused. "I'd be happy to explain it later, but not while you're in pain, thanks. I couldn't endure that if someone else did it to me, but I can try to distract you."

"What if that's more annoying than the pain?"

"You've put up with it for several minutes now, more than you ought to have, if that was the case." Shine was never behind her.

"You...are insufferable," Mystique said.

"I must make you feel how you make other people feel," Shine said, "like they can't keep up and never know what's really going on. Or am I wrong? Do I throw you off? It's easier than you might think--all I ever do is do the last thing people expect. And as long as I know what that is, I can throw them off."

"For someone who is not a telepath, you seem a little too keen on being able to tell what people think."

"I've known many people who can use mental powers, and not a single one of them was good at reading people without using them. The gift becomes a crutch. People who are highly intelligent are not often empathetic. That's as true of telepaths as other kinds of geniuses. It's too much up here." She pointed to her head. "And you can analyze thought patterns all day long and not understand a thing about the heart. Or do you think Xavier is the most sympathetic person you've ever seen?"

Mystique shook her head, gritting her teeth at the shooting pain.

Hank came back in.

"This may not be pleasant, Miss Likstar," he said. "If it's too much strain for you right now, I'll call one of the others... Not that many of us are here, though, just Logan and Morph and Gambit, and I hesitate to ask them."

"I can manage," Shine said bravely. "I've seen worse than a few bruises, Hank. But I'm not that strong. I hope that pain killer works.

"Oh, it will, but I don't like to put her under, and moving is still going to hurt somewhat," Hank said. "But we must do our best."

Mystique submitted to the treatment much more calmly than expected. Perhaps Shine's talk had settled her mind a little.

Once it was finished, Hank said she should be careful not to move too much.

"Hank," Shine said, "let's just bring her upstairs. It's stupid to keep her down here. The bathroom is too far away--it would be cruel to make her walk toward it while she's injured. I doubt she'll be escaping like this. We should just put her in one of the other rooms. Pick one where there's no trees by the window or anything, and it should be secure enough."

"I might agree, but Scott will not like it," Hank said.

"Screw what he likes," Shine said. "This is our fault to begin with. I get tired of people almost getting killed because they get dragged along with us."

"How often does this happen to you?" Hank said.

"More often than you'd believe," Shine said. "I always feel miserably guilty about it."

"Well, I don't see how it's your fault, so you can set your mind at ease," Hank said. "I guess we can move her for now--but perhaps just in one of our medical observation rooms instead."

"But that's not necessary," Shine said. "And uncomfortable."

"Well, if you want to take her upstairs for now, you can," Hank said. "Semantics can come later."

He put his stuff away. "I confess, your fondness for this woman puzzles me. Has she ever been nice to you?"

Mystique shot him a look, then looked down.

Shine bit her lip, then she said, "You misunderstand, Hank. I don't treat her well because I like her, I like her because I treat her well. That's how it works. Whatever we claim, as humans, all affection is not based on merit, it's based on our choices. Parents don't like their children because they are likable--babies don't know any better--we like them because we take care of them. It's that we abandon that principle later in life that is our great shame as humans, because age does not change what we should care about. But it does change our expectations."

She frowned. "Especially us high thinkers."

Hank wasn't sure what to make of what she said.

"Well...I suppose that's an interesting thought," he said.

He left.

"Let's get you upstairs before the pain meds wear off. Walking won't be any good then," Shine said to Mystique.

"What was all that crap you just said?" Mystique said. "Are you out of your mind?" She seemed genuinely incredulous.

"If I am, it's better than being too much in my head, like you," Shine said. "Getting out of our own heads is a good experience. But am I crazy? No. Just foolish in the eyes of people in the world. And possibly still not fully coherent, judging by the look you're giving me, but I'm still recovering myself."

"Miss Likstar, if you want--" Morph reappeared. "--I can help. You shouldn't strain yourself."

"I'd be glad of it," Shine admitted. "Thanks. I do feel tired."

Morph came to help her escort Mystique out.

Mystique found this doubly humiliating but didn't put up a fight. She was too tired herself.

Shine just put her in the sitting room for now, since it was where she was going to be herself.

Morph took her aside and told her about Logan. He kind of thought maybe she'd better know.

"Logan is so angry," Shine said sadly. "I'm afraid he's not taken our words very seriously."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Morph said. "It's just harder for him, you know. But I think he did a little. He backed off pretty easy. You didn't know him when he was first here--we'd have to pry him off of someone if they messed with us."

Shine laughed dryly. "Fair point...but you're trying to take what I said seriously, I see. That's good.... I could use some encouragement right now."

"I just figured you were right," Morph said. "Not that she seems to care.... What is her deal?"

"Why, guilt of course," Shine said. "And the nicer we are, the more it's rubbed in. But that's not our fault."

Morph stared at her. "Are you...uh...deviously plotting this?"

Shine laughed. "No, Morph. I just understand how it works--been through it myself. Seen it before. Look, just because I'm aware of it doesn't mean I can prevent it, much how God is aware of our stupid choices, but doesn't prevent them always. We must do some things for ourselves."

She rubbed her head. "I should sit down..."

Morph let her.

"Was that idiot gloating?" Mystique asked bitterly.

"I don't think Morph is the gloating type," Shine said calmly, picking up the book she'd somehow thought to bring with them. "Wow...you've read it a lot--look at all these dog-eared pages. Want a highlighter? I use 'em on mine."

"I had nothing better to do," Mystique said.

"Really." Shine looked up. "You can drop the act. You know, I should have given you more books. One at a time, though. I wouldn't like you to throw them all at my head. But I forgot about it."

Silence.

"So...what parts did you like?" Shine said.

Mystique gave up.

"It wasn't so much that I liked it," she said slowly. "It's just...familiar...at certain times,. It was as if someone had put my thoughts into words... I suppose you're above that, whatever you say."

"Mind if I read it aloud?" Shine asked. "I've always been fascinated by this book, and I so rarely get to discuss it with anyone new--other than my students, and they always have more questions than anything else."

"Whatever floats your boat," Mystique said.

Shine opened to one of the dog-eared pages and ran her finger along it.

"'Why should your heart not dance?'...My heart to dance? Mine whose love was taken from me?" [pg 96]

"I knew the world too well to believe this sudden smiling." [pg 97]

Shine found the next spot and read, "'Don't you think the things people are most ashamed of are the things they can't help?' I thought of my ugliness and said nothing." [111-112]

She shook her head. "I remember when I read that it blew my mind because I felt just the same about things I couldn't help."

Mystique eyed her. Shine was very pretty.

"And what would you have to feel ashamed of?"

Shine only smiled like it was an odd question. "We all have something."

"It's the being mortal, being...insufficient. Don't you think a dream would feel shy if it were seen walking about in the waking world?'" [115]

"I learned then how one can hate those one loves." [127]

"If they [the gods] had an honest intention to guide us, why is their guidance not plain?" [134]

"Leave her alone. Don't spoil it. Don't mar what you've learned you can't make." [138]

"'You are indeed teaching me about all kinds of love I did not know. It is like looking into a deep pit. I am not sure whether I like your kind better than hatred.... To take my love for you...and then to make of it a tool, a weapon, a thing of policy and mastery, an instrument of torture--...'" [165]

"There's one part I did not understand." Mystique interrupted Shine's reading.

Shine looked up.

"I don't understand why Orual should believe her," Mystique said. "Why didn't the gods speak to her personally? Why Psyche...? I know it's supposed to have some deeper meaning--" This sarcastically. "--but it seems stupid to me."

"What of the explanation in the story?" Shine asked.

"I didn't like it." Mystique crossed her arms...and then realized that hurt, so she put them down. "All that about having faces...and the face being the answer...what did that mean?"

Shine looked at a few more marked pages. "You noticed the part about Ungit having a lot of faces, right?"

Mystique raised an eyebrow. "A shapeshifter noting a line about having a thousand faces? That surprises you?"

"I never thought of it that way." Shine seemed honestly surprised. "But I suppose it does fit."

"And all that about her hiding her face," Mystique said. "Seemed a little too perfect." She frowned.

"I didn't write it." Shine shrugged. "And it's a metaphor. If you find it literal, that's only because powers here make things literal that have been metaphors in my home. There, we have no superpowers, generally. But we still have our symbolism. Wearing a veil or mask always represents separation or hiding one's true self from the world."

"A little too fitting for mutants, isn't it?" Mystique said.

"I've never given this book to anyone and had them not be able to see themselves in that, regardless their abilities or social status." Shine shrugged. "I didn't mean to make it personal."

She seemed sincere... Mystique loosened a little. 

"Let me see if I can make it clear." Shine thought for a moment. "It's difficult when you haven't experienced it... You ever have something in your life that didn't make sense to you, until you saw it for yourself? Then all at once, everything you'd been told about it clicked?"

"Maybe." Mystique couldn't have named a time, but it sounded familiar.

"It's the same with the god in this story," Shine said. "All we're told about God, it only fills in a sketchy idea of Him, until we see Him for ourselves, and then questions die away. Because once you see Him, it all clicks."

That made a strange amount of sense, at least metaphorically.

"And why not show himself to Orual right off?" Mystique said.

"I'd think you of all people would understand this," Shine said, "being as you hide your true form from most of the world."

Mystique's eyes narrowed. "And what does that mean?"

"I don't know why you do it," Shine said, "but I'd guess there's a vulnerability in revealing yourself, right? People know what you are, for better or worse. Would everyone be better off knowing that? Is it better for you if they do? Don't you ask that constantly? I don't see how anyone couldn't, who had that option."

Mystique's silence was assent.

"For the rest of us, we can't hide our real faces," Shine said. "But we hide our real selves, as well as we can. Orual never liked the gods. Psyche did. Why should the gods speak to Orual when all she looked for was to shame them and devalue them? Out of fear she might have submitted, but could she have liked it? When she meets the god the first time, she is terrified and shamed. But at the end...she's transformed. The difference is, by then, she had stopped fighting it. How we approach it is all the difference."

She tugged her hair. "Speaking from experience, I used to dread God myself. And I never saw Him clearly while I did. When I relinquished dread, and surrendered that need to preserve myself and hide from His face...I no longer felt afraid. I understood the end of this book exactly, because it was my own experience. Maybe it's not everyone's, not all at once. But Lewis knew it, at least. He was a very reluctant convert, you know. He had to be persuaded that no other rational option was available before he became a Christian...and then he became one of the greatest apologists for our faith of all time. At least in our recorded history. Irony at its finest... I don't know though--" She leaned back. "--where all you people get the idea we turn to this stuff because it sounds appealing. I was terrified when I made my choice. I was simply more terrified of the alternative. Lewis was reluctant but driven to it. I've scores of other such stories I could tell you. I don't know of any other faith that people are so hesitant to accept when they accept it. At least, I've never heard an atheist or Buddhist tell me such a story. I've known plenty of both."

Mystique was getting interested in spite of herself.

"Why on earth would you turn to something you were in dread of?" she asked.

"I couldn't tell you," Shine said. "God opened my eyes. That's all it ever is, Raven--I mean, Mystique. Why any of us suddenly understand or suddenly open up, who knows? It's a miracle. Even Faith is a gift. We choose it, but it chooses us too. It's mutual. Lewis described it also as 'a man is free to drink while he is drinking, he is not free to remain thirsty'. [The Great Divorce] When we start to see, we are only free to keep seeing. If we refuse, we're cursed more than before. Who can shut the door once it's opened?"

She shrugged. "Some people do. I feel as if they never really got it. It's sad."

Shine's certainty of this was a little unnerving.

"You seem more like that Psyche character," Mystique said.

"High praise," Shine said. "I wish I was so pure." She shrugged. "But I have a ways to go before I could say all my temper and problems are born out of love. Plenty is still selfishness."

"I meant in how you talk and go on about it," Mystique said dryly. "Like a clone."

"I did learn from the book," Shine said. "But it's all true, I think." She pursed her lips. "One thing that scares me about Lewis is how very rarely I can ever disagree with anything he writes. Even people like me can be mystified by that, you know. But I welcome it--that's the difference. I learned to. I didn't always."

"Well, if the answer you have is you don't know how it happened, I don't see how you expect other people to come to agree with you," Mystique said.

"But faith isn't based on knowing how it happened," Shine said. "Reason can lead to faith, for some people. For others, it just gets in the way, because they don't want reason, they want a feeling. They want something to appeal to them. And so it works for some of us. I'm not sure God cares why, so long as we come in and grow from there. But the exact way it happens? That's like trying to explain sex."

Mystique almost choked when she said that.

Shine didn't seem to see it as an odd thing.

"Even the Bible calls it a mystery." She shrugged. "I think love is, you know? And even physical forms of it are still mystery enough. The point is, I can tell you what happened, but asking how is not the way to understand. if you understand what happened, you'd come to see how."

Mystique clenched her fists on her dress... She seemed to do this a lot.

"What did that bit about having faces mean, then...the title?" she said.

Why she cared to know, she couldn't have said. It had just stuck in her head after the first read, but she still didn't get it after the 3rd.

"Truth is like a mirror," Shine said. "At least, when it begins... And how can we see truth, how can we see anything, if we don't uncover ourselves to see it? If we cannot be honest, we cannot hear honesty. I could prove this a hundred times over just with people I know. The most honest people are the most humble, and they are the most mature. The people who have the most faith are the most honest about themselves. It's not just pretty talk--we're serious when we say it's not us and we're not good. We couldn't believe so fully in God's grace if we did not see so fully our need for it. That's how it starts."

She tapped the book's cover. "She had to see what she was, in that mirror, and hear her own voice, before she could be answered. Only then would she have listened and not tried to drown it out by defending herself...and we all do that. Not a human being alive never defends their bad actions, from childhood. And it's one in a hundred who will own up to them without excuses, probably less."

Mystique didn't care for how close to home that was.

"And all she saw was evil," she noted. "She didn't see anything good in herself."

"Don't you think we spend enough time praising ourselves?" Shine said. "But we are not good. She had good in her, sure, or she could not have come to see the truth. Knowing how bad we are is the beginning of goodness the way admitting you have an addiction is the beginning of breaking it. And knowing how ignorant you are is the beginning of knowledge. Orual didn't need to see any more goodness in herself. That wasn't going to help her. In the end, our goodness is just a reflection anyway. Imperfect."

[As long as this is going, I swear it has bearing on the whole thing with Rogue, which is why I took time for it in the middle of this, so sit tight.]

https://youtu.be/e9O1PzDJmMg