[Extraordinaries: Things which exceed the usual order, kind, or method.]

Logan's mood went over the heads of the two men, but Shine picked up on it easily enough.

"Something's shifted, Logan," she said upfront to him. "You seem sadder. Is it about the other day?"

"What are you talkin' about?" Logan tried to deny it.

"Don't BS me," Shine said. "Come, you're more honest than that. Just tell me, I won't judge."

"Well, maybe ya should," Logan said.

Shine laughed. "Maybe, but I probably won't anyway. Just tell me."

"Eh, people like you are too pure to understand." Logan looked at his fists. "When I see people like Creed, I hate 'em. I just want to tear 'em to shreds.... Even when the anger passes, I still hate them. But then, I know I'm not that much better. It's bad all around. Maybe that's why I don't have peace. Too much bloodshed..." He frowned. "I've done things you wouldn't be able to hear."

Shine fingered the Bible in front of her on the table.

"Have you massacred your entire family?" she said quietly. "Or had to watch it? Have you killed everyone you loved? Have you almost killed your own father? Have you driven your wife mad? Have you beaten a child? Have you murdered dozens of people you didn't even know?--I know that one is probably true."

"What in the h---?" Logan actually swore openly.

"Maybe you've framed someone else for murder?" Shine went on, in a totally normal voice. "Or plunged an entire kingdom into a magical ice age, or been a villain, or tried to drive someone mad."

"Who are you?" Logan said.

"A World Walker," Shine said calmly. "I travel worlds, helping people who need it and who can take it. Often ones with horrible lives. This is not the extent of the stuff I've heard. Girls who've been used their whole lives, people with curses in their blood that made them crazy, people who's parents shoved demons into their bodies at birth. The list goes on. Logan, I really doubt you could tell me anything I haven't heard--and Wally too. Kurt, maybe not."

"You're...you..." Logan sputtered. "All that...wait, if you've seen all that, why are ya so d--- happy all the time? Ya ought to be the most miserable person in the whole d--- world."

"A gift we have," Shine said, "is that when we leave the world, the horror fades like a dream. I believe it's a little taste of the heavenly experience. We remember the love and joy we have with our friends, but the pain and sorrow become less real because it is less real, Logan. Darkness is nothing to light, not when all is shown for what it really is."

She smiled warmly. "And also, whenever I hear a horrible story, I ask God, if He could help me, carry it for me. I learned it from one of my heroes Corrie Ten Boom... I have the book. I think you should read it--you lived through the same War. It'd probably speak to you a lot. But anyway, The word says that God keeps us in perfect peace when we trust all these things to Him. And, the horror I feel, it always passes away once I pray that."

Logan sank into a chair kitti-corner from her.

"I wish that would work for me," he said wearily.

"I think it would," Shine said. "It could take time for you to notice, but you can begin even now. Tell me, what's the hardest evil for you to accept?"

Logan thought.

"That people will hate others just because they are different," he said.

"You can dig deeper than that," Shine said.

Logan scowled. "I guess I don't like it when friends betray each other."

"Deeper," Shine said.

Logan winced. "Hard to say."

"Perhaps the evil you've done yourself. That's usually the hardest," Shine suggested.

Logan clenched a fist. "I guess you're right there. But you don't have that problem."

"I have it all the time," Shine said. "You shouldn't assume just because I have a stricter moral code than you that makes it easier--it makes it harder. An infraction you'd dismiss as a bad mood becomes a serious problem to me." She laughed. "Sometimes too much so. I have to tell myself that the other person probably wasn't even as bothered by it as I am myself. I can feel just as guilty as you. I have never thought guilt was in proportion to how bad our sins were, or we all couldn't feel guilty so often. Anything you're ashamed of, you feel the same. Enough pampering, and you'd feel bad about spitting gum on the sidewalk the same way most people would think of stealing. I've seen it worse than that."

She shook her head. "So, yes, I think we all know how you feel there. The others just don't talk about it."

"But it doesn't bother you," Logan said.

"Sometime it does," Shine said. "When I get weak, and I forget God's grace. Kurt would agree here, I'm sure. And Wally, well, this is a weekly occurrence for us when things go bad at his job. That guilt is real. He's getting better though. It's always good to have someone to remind you not to beat yourself up. You ought to get someone like that too, Logan."

Logan snorted in derision at that idea.

"When it happens, I tell myself to remember God's grace," Shine said. "You have to encourage yourself in the Lord, as David did. It's not just words, you know, when it gets inside you." She pointed to her chest. "It sticks, if you make sure to remember it. There is a point in everyone's life when they are beyond turning back. But it comes at a different time for each of us. Some people don't hit it till their on their deathbed. Others hit it when they're children. Only God knows what it is for us all. Perhaps evil people live so long for that reason--I know that the Bible certainly implies that's the case, because God hates to punish us, so He lets them live longer to avoid hell as long as they can. The fools don't thank Him for it, but so it goes."

She leaned back. "We, on the other hand, don't often get that luxury. Time is always urgent for us, too urgent to live in regrets, Logan. Remember what Kurt gave you? 'O Lord, I will praise you, though you were angry with me, your anger is turned away and You comfort me." [Isaiah 12:1. It's the passage Nightcrawler underlined for him in the episode with the same title.]

Logan was startled. "You really don't miss a thing."

"I could hardly miss the Bible," Shine said. "I love that chapter, actually. Do you remember how it goes on from there?"

She opened her Bible and read, "'Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid. For YAH, the LORD, is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation. Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.'" [vv. 2-3]

Logan frowned. "Listen, lady, I admit, I liked that. It meant a lot to me. I think, for some, it works...but I still plummeted, even after that. I don't think it stuck. Maybe I'm just too far gone."

Shine looked at him intently. "I am not God, Logan, but if you were anywhere near that, I could tell. Even to a human, it's clear you're not that far gone."

Somehow that was actually kind of reassuring, but Logan fought it anyway.

"And what makes you so sure, sweetheart? No one ya talk to ever just doesn't get it?"

"Not all of them listen," Shine said. "But you've not acted like one of those--you're seeking, aren't you? But you're a bit weirded out by us. God couldn't answer you by sending two wackos, right?"

"Somethin' like that." Logan didn't even deny it.

"I thought so. It is a bit odd," Shine said. "It's unusual, I admit, for it to be that direct. But usually someone is looking for answers, and that's when we get an opening. Those ones are often the most successful, too. Look, it's wild, but there's a reason we do it this way. God once sent His son, in human form, to the world, to save it. That was wild. Not a lot of people bought that at first either. If someone can believe we came from another world, then they can almost certainly believe in Jesus. It's a parallel. So we know right off who's likely to hear our message, and who isn't. At home, it's way harder to put it together."

"I didn't notice how similar that idea was," Logan said. "You're like little Christs, huh?"

"Oh, not nearly as strong and not pure." Shine waved her hand. "But that is our job, all Christians, and this is just our way of doing it--walking his walk. I've learned a lot from doing it. I use that to help people as much as I can. You can't get this and not want to share it. It's impossible. World Walking is a rare gift among His followers, but memorable. Accounts of it are all through fiction, after all. And are they not all almost always because someone has great need? I can write you out a list, if you need proof. But you get the idea."

"And how did ya start this?" Logan was interested now.

"Me? When I was a kid," Shine said. "One day a door opened, and I went through it. I took it all on faith, and I played it by ear. Not a lot has changed since then, except my maturity. I learned the rules as I went. We know them by instinct in some ways, like not to trust everyone with our secret. Power mad people will try to exploit it--we've faced off several times against them now. The last time, it almost killed us." She shivered. 

"Wally started after meeting me, but he'd done it a few times and been lucky enough not to get damaged by it. I think the gift was there. He took to it like a duck takes to water. Now we go together. Tests your relationship, I can tell you, but I can't imagine anyone else." She shrugged.

"It really is yer job." Logan was awed. "Ya must have seen a lot."

"Too much to tell," Shine said. "It fades...and you know what? With all that, what I care most about, right now, is helping you. Right here, right now." She smiled again. "That is how it works. You see enough worlds, you realize only people really matter. Only that really stays with you, and people cannot be replaced. Everything I've seen up till now, is, in a sense, for your benefit, and you will be in the next person I help. We're all connected, Logan. Instead of that unnerving you, I'm hoping you see it as invitation to not be alone in this anymore, but to be part of it."

It's funny how a few words and reshaping of something can cause a paradigm shift.

It had seemed weird before, but now it seemed like...a thing, still mysterious, but also tempting. Intriguing...what you'd want, if you could have it...almost too good.

"I...don't know if I could," he said.

"But I know you can," Shine said. "We all do, and we'll just keep trying until you believe it too."

No one had said that to him in a long time...

Logan didn't have much to say. He was getting kind of emotional, actually.

Shine let him think and started reading instead.

* * *

Wally and Shine also discussed the power reveal, which they had yet to explain.

"I think you should just tell them," Wally said. "If they aren't ready now, they'll never be."

"I agree," Shine said. "And...I think maybe you should just decide for yourself to tell them about yours."

"You mean I don't need your permission?" Wally said a bit wryly.

Shine looked hurt.

"You never need my permission," she said quietly.

"I was kidding," Wally said.

"Were you?" Shine said. "Let's be real, a lot of people have implied that I tell you what to do. Doesn't that ever bother you?"

"I mean, should it?" Wally said.

"I notice you were agreeing with me a lot," Shine said, "talking to Scott. I know you thought just as I did about it, but in private."

Wally rubbed his head. "You like to talk, and you like to confront people a lot more than I do. I figure I can just let you do your thing and back you up." He shrugged. "Anyway, you've told me you haven't had backup a lot in the past and had to stand alone, so I wanted to show support, but I don't think I need to say something all the time."

Shine nodded. "I kind of thought so...but I was afraid if someone said something about it, maybe it'd become a problem."

"You're the teacher," Wally said. "I'm cool with that, as long as I don't have to get bossed around. And, I honestly, really don't feel like you do that. From the second I met you, you've always asked me if I wanted to do stuff, not like the League--it's kind of just go, go, go with them. I never thought, Hey, she doesn't really care what I think."

Shine smiled. "Because I do," she said. "I thought it was great to get The Flash's opinion--or Wally West's--and I don't say that of many people. I mostly don't care what other people say to me, but if I truly respect someone, I want to hear their thoughts."

"And I guess that's about as rare to me as being backed up is for you," Wally said. "So why do we need to worry if someone else says it's wacked out? We know better. And if one of those suckers says it, I'll just tell 'em it's none of their business."

Shine shook her head wryly. "I keep thinking sexism was a bigger problems in the 80s than it is in my time...sort of. I guess it was going out, but, you know, what if someone implies I shouldn't do something because I'm a woman?"

"I doubt the X-men will, but if someone else does, what would you do?" Wally said.

"What would you do?" Shine asked.

"Laugh," Wally said.

"I'd laugh too," Shine said.

"So that settles that." Wally shrugged. "People are dumb anyway...but, okay, about my powers...yeah, I kind of didn't want to wait, but I get it now. It was smart to. And it's not like I didn't agree to it. Your cards are on the table, but I think I'm just gonna wait till a good moment and come out with it. I don't really want to make a big show of it. I'd feel like I was just doing it to play catch up, then."

"I'll leave it up to you. Now that I don't have a choice, I think I'm not the best judge," Shine said. "But if and when you do tell them, don't take any crap from Scott about keeping it a secret too long, or I swear I'll punch him this time."

"Yeah...we gotta be careful with that guy." Wally made a face. "He's been a real pill. I mean, why is he so mean anyway? We never did anything to him."

"We threaten the status quo, and the X-men are his whole life," Shine said. "If we shake them up, he's personally threatened. And us calling him out on being wrong is like a personal attack to him. In his world, leaders never flatter and never show fear. I'd call it toxic masculinity if I didn't know plenty of Karens at home who are exactly like that. Jean enables it--she never has an opinion of her own. Everyone else just doesn't want to stir the pot with him. And there is something to be said for peace within the team, since he likely wouldn't listen anyway. It doesn't sit well with me, but it's not our job to fix teamwork problems around here. I think we'd better try to avoid him."

"No problem, I don't want to hang around him anyway," Wally said.

"On a different note, Billings left a message for us," Shine said. "He says the church board wants to meet and talk to us about what happened."

"Are we getting the boot from them?" Wally said. "Like, do they blame us?"

"No, they couldn't," Shine said uncertainly. "I think it's more about what the church is going to do to stay together. I suppose we're involved in that now. Anyway, it's tomorrow evening."

"I'll free up a slot in my chores and TV schedule," Wally said.

* * *

Wally kept busy enough around the house to avoid talking to the X-men--he kind of thought he still needed some mental space from them.

Shine tended to handle awkward situations by talking her way out of them, so she purposely sat out where they could see her, to show she wasn't afraid.

Since it worked with Hank, she hoped it would work with the others.

It did, to a certain extent.

Rogue attempted to act normal again, even if the whole thing still made her uncomfortable.

She had other people to deal with: Mystique was still locked in the basement--which sounded wrong anyway--and she kept trying to escape every time someone brought food or let her out to do...other things.

She also got away a few times too, but Logan tracked her down.

It was driving Rogue crazy. She couldn't reason with her that the X-men were just taking precautions, and, yes, they'd done that with other people before, and, no, they weren't going to hold her there forever. Mystique refused to buy it.

Storm, on her part, felt like she should have handled the whole thing better than she had--and couldn't understand why Shine was acting so normal about it.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked her. 

"Storm, how many more times are you going to ask?" Shine finally said.

"I'm... I didn't realize it had been that many."

"Six, since yesterday," Shine said.

"You counted?" Storm said.

"I have a good memory." Shine gestured flippantly. "Look, I'm really okay, but if you keep asking, I'm gonna start thinking I'm missing some reason to be upset. Power of suggestion."

Storm leaned on one of the chairs. "Well...it's just...I have felt like I failed. You said before I was a good friend, but I do not think I am deserving of that title. What friend would do what I did? I seem to keep falling short around you--first the Morlocks, and now this."

"I don't blame you."

"But I do," Storm said. "We must hold ourselves up to a high standard."

Shine smiled a bit sadly. "And no one has higher standards than you, Storm."

"Hmm?" Storm was a bit puzzled

"Pardon the pun, perhaps, but you do try to take everything to new heights," Shine said. "And I think, often for the X-men, that's a good thing. You're the only one I ever notice Logan listening to, for one thing. So you have respect, and you expect more of people than they expect of themselves. We all like that in a person--if we're healthy. But what happens when you turn that on yourself? We might, if we try, be easy on other people even when they don't meet our expectations, but we are very rarely easy on ourselves. We can't make excuses to ourselves that we believe. Now, I'm puzzled, I'm not mad at you, and neither is Wally. As I recall, you objected at the time. But you have this standard that says you should have been able to do more. I'm confused--what more was possible?"

"Perhaps I could have tried harder to stop it," Storm said.

"And we both know Scott was not gong to listen," Shine said. "And the Professor, as we thought, was agreeing. There was nothing you could do. Is that hard to accept?"

Oh, was it ever.... Storm really hated hearing those words.

"I...always think we should try and try to help," she said.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Shine didn't buy it.

"Well...perhaps I do...try to exceed expectations..." Storm mumbled.

"But you can't," Shine suggested. "You have that phobia that disables you all the time, and you don't have the authority. You don't always have the power either. It's rough, isn't it?"

She made a fist. "That feeling that it's just out of reach, if you could just be a little bit more."

Storm frowned. "You speak almost as if you know."

"I do know," Shine said. "I think we're a lot alike in that way. And, hey, I like having standards, saves a lot of trouble. I never wanted to be like everyone else."

"I think I can safely say you are not like anyone else I've met," Storm said.

Shine laughed. "You know, though, I used to wish different. We want to be unique, but not weird. I've spent some time wondering how I got to think I could be so exceptional. Do you remember having parents?"

"No," Storm said somberly.

"I do," Shine said. "I still have them.... Maybe that seems lucky.... Maybe it is. But there are things I still don't like to think about. My father used to talk to me about being exceptional."

"To tell you to be?" Storm said.

"To tell me I was," Shine said. "That's what we all want to hear, isn't it? I thought so.... I couldn't understand why it didn't make me happy to hear it. I mean, he didn't push me to be, at least, I thought not...until I recently remembered something he told me many times: that because I was exceptional, I would always be disliked by my peers. They'd be jealous of me and not understand me."

Storm frowned again. "Why would he tell you such a thing? Being exceptional is something most people like."

"I really couldn't tell you," Shine said. "My father taught me from as far back as I can remember that if I chose to have integrity and faith, the world would hate us, maybe even kill us. I believed that, and I still do. But it got more personal when I was older. I began to have disagreements with my peers. My father always encouraged me to think of them as the 'other', a rung below me, intellectually."

Storm leaned frowned. "That...seems...strange."

"I asked my mother about it," Shine said, looking into the distance. "She told me she didn't think I was exceptional or brilliant for my age."

Storm almost laughed at how opposite that was. Only, it wasn't really funny. "But why did she...?"

"I don't know. My mom is a nice lady," Shine said. "But her whole family is critical and slow to praise and slow to think praise is safe. I guess she didn't lose that. I know she thinks better of me now, but at the time, it was all messed up. Things do get better." She smiled. "But not with my dad... Let's just say, he moved to criticizing me. Told me I could never hold a job if I had the attitude I did, told me I couldn't make it in the world. The message that you're better than everyone else, but not good enough still, was hammered in. And if I was wrong, everyone else was even worse... Would you have guessed that about my childhood?"

"No, not at all," Storm said. "I had assumed you had a very...well, supportive family... How odd...but I don't want to criticize them."

"Yeah, I'm kind of over that. I just want to be honest. There was bad, there was some good. But, when it comes to expectations, I can admit, it was confusing. I was a very frustrated young woman for a long time, and I still am sometimes. I still often think I could do better, but then I think, what could I do better? And I don't know. I was told for too long that I wasn't good enough, but what can you improve on if everyone is beneath you? Now I get told regularly that I always think I'm right and better than everyone else."

She laughed. "Maybe the same has happened to you."

"A...few times." Storm had mostly been too feared for this to be true. "What about your...uh, abilities?"

"I don't use all those at home," Shine said, "just in other worlds...and it really doesn't matter. Personality is what people can't stand...and conviction. Power is negligible most of the time. I guess not if you're a mutant, but we don't have that particular problem where I live."

She tugged her hair. "I wanted to explain that to you so you'd know I understand when I say--I get it. There's internal pressure to be better. Maybe I remind you of that? Because we have that in common. But for all I do still feel that way at times, I have learned to mostly not act on it and to take it a bit easier. Wally helped me learn that, actually. He has pressures too and learned a long time ago that each day, you have to do only as much as you can and do your best, and if you break even with success, that's a good day for most people. If you gain a little, that's a great day. And that's all we get. Good, great, and bad here and there. It's the one that's the most frequent that matters."

Storm thought about what she'd said.

"Can I ask a personal question?" she asked.

"Sure," Shine said.

"Did.... Well, how did your father feel when you...chose this career path?"

"Like everything else I've ever done, it's not good enough," Shine said.

"But...how can it not be good enough?" Storm said.

"Because, Storm, people don't accept your efforts based on whether they are good or not. Once I figured that out, I felt way less crazy about it." Shine gestured widely. "A parent ideally takes every effort to do good with the same grace, whether it's successful or not. If the intention was there, that's enough. If they are a good parent. Same with a teacher, same with a boss, even. Competence grows over time, character is a choice you make all the time. You can't rush competence, but you can always choose to try to do what's right. Getting better at it is good, but it's not the point. And if someone is determined not to be pleased, they never are. My father is never satisfied with anything, let alone me. I've decided not to be like that. I love it when my students try, even if they screw it up. Do you know how hard it is to get people to try?" She shook her head.

"Yes." Storm knew that.

"I bet you do," Shine said. "So believe me, I don't think you're not a good friend because you didn't meet some standard. You did your best. That's what I care about. That's what God cares about too. And when I began to get that, I stopped being so driven. It's in there." She tapped her head. "I guess we never forget. But we can stop following that stupid voice in our heads that just tells us to never be satisfied. And...there will be times we do do the wrong thing. I do still. You have to be able to let that go too."

She tilted her head. "I can believe I'm 'good enough' to work with for God. And that's all I need, if I can just keep that thought. It's a real struggle. But it's freedom too. Anyway, don't worry about me judging you. I figure you have enough problems without me adding to it." She shrugged again.

"Now that I've heard this," Storm said, "I think I understand. You don't wish to repeat the mistakes of the past... That's a good thing... You should be proud of that. Not many people learn from the past."

"That is absolutely true," Shine said. "And frustrating. But thanks. I'll take that as high praise."

"If only it was that easy," Storm said. "Perhaps you know this already, but...I was once worshiped for my powers. Before that, I was used for them by...well..."

"The Shadow King, I know," Shine said. "Must have been horrible... I know a lot of people who've had that terrible experience."

"Yes...well, you can imagine it was different than how most mutants are treated." Storm lowered her voice. "Do you know, at times, I wonder if I have no right to complain? The others all have had it worse than I have. I could leave a position of reverence. Mostly, I can control my power... It's like you said, excellence, the idea that people put you above the rest, but then, who can ever cross you, if you need it?"

"So you never make a mistake because no one will tell you if you do," Shine said.

"That's it," Storm said.

"We could be soul sisters," Shine said. "I feel the same...but here's a crazy thought I keep coming back to. What if two things are true? What if, A) neither of us are really that fricked up, we just think we are because of that pressure, and B) even if we were, there is always a force out there ready to put you back in your place, sooner or later, and the main thing is to keep a humble attitude about it. A humble person almost never does something wrong and goes for 48 hours without realizing it."

"You think?" Storm said.

"I'm pretty sure," Shine said. "But being worshiped must have been rough. I used to get hailed as the most spiritual person at my youth group... The vanity of it gets old fast. No one ever wants to get close to you, even if they like you."

"We have more in common than I could have guessed." Storm was surprised.

"Yeah, turns out being a goddess and being really in touch with God both make you kind of a weirdo to people who are too scared to try," Shine said. "I used to hate it that they did that. But you know, I'm pretty comfortable with who I am now. I don't look down on others anymore, and I think that strength is for service. I had some very good mentors in books and TV broadcasts and, of course, God Himself. God provides ways to learn to anyone who wants to. I'm sure you had the same thing when you joined the X-men."

"Somewhat," Storm said.

"Here's the nice thing for us," Shine said. "I don't have to worry about you thinking I'm perfect, and you don't have to worry about me thinking it about you. So we can just be confident, but not perfectionists. And there's no reason for us to misunderstand each other. I won't get offended if you say something I don't like. And I don't need to feel pressure if you say something I do like. There's freedom in that. I'd embrace if if I were you."

Storm finally laughed. "What and odd thing to say...but I do think I'm starting to like you, Miss Likstar. You take a little time to get used to."

"So do you." Shine didn't even hesitate.

"And in lieu of what you said, I will drop the whole matter. I don't want to trouble you with expectations." She smirked.

"I knew you had sense of humor," Shine said. "You know, this whole talk reminded me of this song I've been playing when I feel pressured. I'm going to give you a recording of it--getting tapes is so hard in the future. Thank goodness vinyl came back in."

She held out her hand, and something appeared in it.

"How did you...?" Storm said.

"Teleportation works many ways." Shine shrugged. "It's useful. I can pack lighter this way. Before I learned how to do this it was...a little frantic."

"I'm not really good with technology..." Storm said, "but I wonder..." She touched the disc.

To Shine's surprise, the music started play off of it.

"You can do the Stitch thing?" she sputtered.

"Huh?" Storm said.

"Nevermind..."

https://youtu.be/-sO2UMoOaFQ

["One"- Sleeping at Last. Check this artist out--he needs more fans.]

[Who thinks Storm being able to play records should be a canon power?]