Nothing belongs to me. You is Haz.

Enjoy.

You were on your knees, crying. Your wife was accused of being a witch and burned at the stake. Now the rage began to set in.

(Y/N): OUROBOROS!

Snakes came from you and mutilated everyone in the room. You were on your knees and crying again. You heard a voice whisper your name. You stood up and walked to the source of the voice and saw a jester.

(Y/N): Wh-who are you?

????: You can call me Dimentio.

(Y/N): Wh-what do you want with me?

Dimentio: You want revenge on these people don't you?

(Y/N): Y-yes.

You stood up as he handed you a fedora.

(Y/N): I appreciate the offer, but what's your plan?

Dimentio: Oh, you'll find out eventually.

(Y/N): Alright then.

Time skippy

You had met the rest of the jester's "cohorts" and they soon learned that you were the most violent one of them all. You were sitting in a chair being interviewed with some rando next to you. You took a sip from your mug.

(Y/N): Guests get to keep these, right?

Grover: Yeah we've got a literal closet full of them.

You smashed it against the wall and used it to slice the rando's face and throat.

(Y/N): Since it's okay with you. Well then, adieu.

You usually did your own thing from the rest of the group since you didn't care. You left through a window and found yourself walking through a forest when you heard a voice.

????: A WINNER IS YOU!

You looked around and saw someone in a grey cloak.

(Y/N): What?

????: JACKPOTTING!

(Y/N): But I haven't bought anything.

????: I can tell you are in the need of companionship and your face is lonely.

(Sorry I'm not good at Engrish.) You raised your hat and looked the short individual in the eyes.

(Y/N): Okay. What did I win?

????: You have winning this special companion shroom.

He presented a white mushroom with pink hearts on it.

(Y/N): Alright, whatever you say friend.

????: F-friend?

(Y/N): Yeah. You look like someone I can relate with. I really hope I see you again.

????: I have anticipation for our next meeting as well.

You put the mushroom in your pocket and went on your way, leaving him shaking with joy.

(Y/N): He seemed nice. Really wish I had asked for his name.

You walked aimlessly and found yourself back with the people you were supposed to be working with and stood, listening to your thoughts. Then the group of heroes barged in.

(Y/N): Did any of you invite a plumber, a princess, and a turtle demon?

Said turtle demon seemed to become enraged and he tried to punch you. You grabbed the fist and tripped him, pinning him to the floor. You sat on his stomach as the plumber's jaw dropped. You took the time to look at the mushroom that strange individual gave you. Then the turtle monster kicked your foot knocking the mushroom through the air, into his open mouth, and down his throat with a gulp.

(Y/N): Well I guess I'll find out what that mushroom does.

You fell off his stomach as he was engulfed in a cloud of purple smoke. When the smoke cleared, and you stopped coughing, you felt two tree trunk sized arms wrap around you. You looked at them and suddenly realized there were a pair of breasts pressed against your head. Your left nostril began to bleed. You slipped out of her grasp and saw that it was the turtle monster and that the mushroom had turned him from a man into a woman. It was then that your right nostril started to bleed. You then jumped into her arms and the two of you partook in a make-out session before she carried you out.

Mr. L: Well then, that happened.

You were going through a very familiar forest when something occurred to you.

(Y/N): What is your name? I feel like an idiot for not asking sooner.

????: Bowser. That's the most I can remember, aside from how much I love you.

You blushed and wrapped your arms around her neck. You remembered something you needed to do now.

(Y/N): Can you take a left here?

Bowser: Alright honeybuns.

She followed the direction and you found your friend's shop.

????: My friend! I am having such excitement to see you again. Are you having satisfaction with your companion shroom?

You looked at the shorter individual and into his blue glasses. Without saying a word you reached over the counter and picked him up. He began to sweat as you stayed silent. Then you gave him a hug.

(Y/N): Thank you soooo much.

You put him down and he breathed a sigh of relief.

(Y/N): Friend, it's because of you that I have someone to spend the rest of my life with. Tell me, what's your name?

????: My name is being Fawful.

(Y/N): Fawful if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Just say the word and I'll be there.

You left your new friend and walked back to Bowser.

(Y/N): You want to go home Bow bow?

Bowser: Absolutely sweet cheeks.

You made a motion for her to follow you. As you were walking through the forest again she burped up a piece of paper. You caught it and read what was on it.

Companion Shroom: Changes the gender of whomever eats it, erases memory, and causes them to fall madly in love with whomever they see first after consumption.

(Y/N): Huh, that's certainly interesting

You stuffed it into your pocket and continued your walk home with Bowser.

Twelve minutes later 

You arrived at your home and let her in. Thankfully since you yourself were pretty tall yourself she didn't have any trouble getting in and walking around. You hung up your hat and suit before going to the kitchen and putting on an apron and a chef's hat.

(Y/N): What do you want to eat?

Bowser: Can you make me some drumsticks?

(Y/N): How do you want them?

Bowser: As hot as you can make them.

(Y/N): Alright.

You made her the drumsticks with a couple drops of your special hot sauce which even makes fire snakes sweat. She ate them and, to your surprise, she wasn't affected by the sauce.

(Y/N): (mind) She's one hell of a woman.

You were thinking to yourself and saw her eyes widen before belching a stream of fire. You ducked, narrowly avoiding it as it singed your hat. She covered her mouth and giggled.

Bowser: Excuse me. Sorry.

(Y/N): It's fine. You didn't burn anything I can't replace.

She smiled and you kissed her cheek before taking off your apron.

(Y/N): Want to watch a movie?

Bowser: Sure sweetie. What do you want to watch?

(Y/N): I'm trying to choose between (favorite action movie), Happy Gilmore, and Attack of the Shroobs.

Bowser: How about the second one.

(Y/N): Great choice. It's been a while since I've seen that one.

You got the movie and put it in the DVD player before sitting down on a chair next to the couch, since she took up the entire couch. As the movie started she frowned, got up, went over to you, picked you up, and sat back down holding you like a child would their teddy bear.

One funny Adam Sandler movie later

You were laughing at the movie's ending and as the credits scrolled up the screen you got up and stretched.

(Y/N): Well, it's getting late and I'm tired so I'm going to take a shower. If you want to take one then the bathroom is down the hall to the right second door.

You got a pair of sweatpants and took your shower. When you were drying off you silently thanked Fawful for randomly picking you out of all the people he could have given that mushroom to. You put your sweatpants on and went to your bedroom and its Hawaiian King sized bed. Looking, around you wondered where Bowser was. Then you realized that you'd never told her where the bedroom was. You walked around the house looking for her, which turned out to be harder than it would seem since she's a giant turtle. After about a minute you found her looking for you in the small library you had in your house.

(Y/N): There you are. This was entirely my fault since I never told you where the bedroom is. Right this way.

You led her back to the bedroom and pulled the sheets back so she could climb in. You got in the bed afterwards and she wrapped her tree trunk arms around you again. You returned the hug and closed your eyes before falling asleep.

Bowser: Good night (Y/N).

~The end~

I'm surprised that I was able too keep the creative juices flowing long enough to make this. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.