No one will be with you through every event in your life. You are with yourself from birth to death. Not to say that you are alone. Not to say you should be a hermit. Invite people in. Let them witness the parts of you you wish.

No one is there with you through everything.

It's four in the morning.

Your phone dings.

"I've been with you through everything"

You haven't.

You were not there when I flew to Europe on a senior trip and tripped and fell so hard my ears rang. You weren't there when I laughed it off even though my crush since fourth grade was there.

You weren't there when I found out jellyfish were real. Or when my friend made fun of me at the aquarium because I didn't know that to begin with.

You weren't there when I read my favorite book and cried for two days straight.

You weren't there when my mom left.

You weren't there when my best friend left my friend group and I was torn between friends I'd had for years and his new group.

You weren't there when I found out his new group was full of shitty people. When I sat with them and they talked shit relentlessly about us. And my best friend laughed along like we'd never been friends.

You weren't there when I was shot and couldn't even get my thoughts together enough to talk.

You weren't there when I found my best friend in the world.

You weren't there when my dad adopted him; or when he moved in.

You weren't there when he adopted my beautiful baby brother.

You weren't there when my old man died.

You weren't there when I drove straight into Wyoming and got so drunk that I couldn't walk and I laid in a field and hoped I would just die already.

You weren't there.

And I'm thankful for that.

You weren't there to witness the absolute worst parts of my life.

The worst parts of me.

You weren't there to witness everything that sits in the back of my mind. Everything that, at one time, made me hate myself. You weren't there to witness my downfall. You weren't there to watch me hit rock bottom so bad that I took the whole summer off and got lucky to make it into fall semester. You didn't see me almost flunk out. You weren't there when I couldn't even talk or eat.

But you're here now. You're here now that I've recuperated myself. What makes me, me. And that's what matters. I appreciate your role in my life. I hope you stay as long as you can.