There I was driving the route to cousins. I had never drove to cousins but I knew the way like the back of my hand. I wasn't the best with directions but I knew how to get to the beach house. I knew my way home.

Bailey was sitting in the passenger seat. She was texting Josh updating him on everything. Ben and Noah were cuddling in the back. Sometimes I got a little jealous of my friends relationships. Nick didn't even know I left my house. He would freak if he knew I was headed to cousins.

As we pulled into cousins I was hit with
nostalgia. Everywhere I look I see bits of my childhood. I see the old candy shop we used to go to as kids. I always loved peach rings they were my favorite.

We passed by Miss Kelly's flower shop. Susannah loved her flowers. There was also the book shop my mother would always drag us to. As a kid I hated it. Jeremiah and I would chase each other around the book shop while my mother browsed.

We passed by the local grocery store. I always loved going shopping with Susannah. If you went shopping that meant you got to pick out all the snacks. When Conrad was fourteen he got a job as a bagger at the little grocery store.

We passed by the park that belly and I used to go have picnics at. We used to beg the boys to come with us but they never did. They always said it was to girly. Our mother and Susannah would come with us.

We passed by Mr. Kips house. The boys would take turns mowing his lawn in the summer. One time I came with Steven to help him mow but I wasn't much help. I sat on the porch with Mr. Kip. He was a really nice old man. He also had lots of cool story's. After that day whenever one of the boys was going to mow his lawn I would tag along so I could catch up with Mr. Kip.

Soon I was pulling up to the beach house. It all felt the same. It felt like I was driving belly, Steven and my mom here. Like Susannah was going to come running outside and her boys would come following and we would all embrace each other. None of that was true though. My mom and Steven where at home. Belly was waiting for me to come rescue her. Susannah was dead. I had not talked to either of the boys since the funeral. Everything was different.

I stepped out of the car. I needed to get belly and get out of here. I felt like I was somewhere I shouldn't be. A place that used to feel so much like home felt like a strangers house now.

I stared at the front door and for the first time ever I knocked. I'd never knocked at the beach house. I had always just walked right in.

Jeremiah opens the door. Our eyes meet. I had not seen him since the funeral. We barley talked then. Now I was standing outside of the beach house.

Flashback
Steven, Belly and I were on our way to Susannah's funeral. I never thought I would actually be doing this. I never thought Susannah would ever truly be gone.

The car ride was silent. Steven was driving. He had barley said a word. His eyes were trained on the road. He looked like he had a million thought going through his head.

Belly was in the back. She had barley been awake through the whole ride. Our nice funeral clothes were hung on one side and belly's head laid on the other.

I sat in the front seat next to my bother. Just like him I was deep in thought. What was life without Susannah. It felt meaningless.

We stoped at a gas station to change into our nice funeral clothes. Steven wore his suit from prom. Our mother had picked our clothes for belly and I. I was wearing the black dress my mother has let me borrow from her closet. Belly however did not listen to our mom and was wearing a short dress that I knew mom was gonna hate.

We got back in the car and drove the rest of the way. When we arrived at the church our mother is standing outside waiting for us. We get out of the car and embrace our mother. Her eyes fall onto Belly and her short dress. "Why aren't you wearing what I picked out for you?" She asked. "Susannah always loved this dress" Belly says. "Just keep it pulled down" my mother sighed.

We go inside of the church. I notice him right away. He was standing there his blue eyes blood shot from crying. He was wearing a suit. I wonder if he had wore the same one to prom just like Steven. We make eye contact. I gave him a small smile.

Soon Conrad came out of the back room and we made our way over to the brothers. I hugged Conrad first. He squeezed me tight. I didn't want to let him go. I could tell he needed that hug. When I hugged Jeremiah he was stif. I had hugged Jeremiah a thousand times and he has never felt this cold. It felt like I was hugging a stranger.

We stood in silence. Half of me was cursing myself for making my friends wait in the car. "I'm here for belly" I finally broke the silence looming over us. "She is in the dinning room with Conrad we were about to call our dad"Jeremiah said.

He let me in the house. I walk into the dinning room and see Conrad and Belly sitting in silence away from each other. I could sense the tension as I walked in.

"You ready to go bells?" I ask. "Let's call Mr. Fisher then we can go" Belly says. I sigh. I should have known that with Belly the pick up would not be as easy as it should have. I was now regretting not letting my friends come in with me.

"Why are we calling Mr. Fisher?" I ask. "Our aunt is trying to sell the beach house" Conrad said. I felt like my breathe was caught in my lungs. "W-what?" I ask. "We are gonna call dad and try and get our trust fund money" Conrad explains. I nod at him not knowing what to say.

As much as I didn't want to stay. I felt like a outsider. Belly and I should not be involved in the Fishers family drama. It felt even more wrong to leave not knowing if Susannah's house was being saved or not.