***Okay, so this was just sad. Also, you can be ready for some dRaMa in the next few chapters or so. Okay, you can expect drama throughout the book. Whatever.***

***(Nya's POV; song for this chapter: "You Are the Reason" by Calum Scott)***

As soon as I get back to the monastery, I'm off Lloyd's motorcycle and heading inside. I know for a fact Jay is having a freak-out moment right now. He doesn't like being away from people for long – it just kind of bothers him – and unless Misako decided to check on him, he's been alone for over eight hours now.

"There goes my heart beating,

'Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep.

Please come back now."

"Jay?" I call, stepping inside. None of the guys will be here for a while – Cole's out with Seliel, Zane's staying at school late to study with a student who's struggling in English, and Lloyd is doing who knows what.

I don't hear a response, so I head back to my room. "Jay, buddy?"

"Nya?" I hear him sniffle from inside.

I open the door to find him in tears, and I cringe. Jay doesn't like being alone. He's so social, he should probably go stay with his parents for a few days while he's ill.

"And there goes my mind racing,

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing.

I'm hopeless now."

"Hey, buddy," I smile, coming to sit beside him on his bed. I wrap my arms around his chest and hug him tight. "What's wrong?"

He pulls me to him. "I-I just got worried, is all. My m-mind plays tricks on me w-when I'm alone."

"I get it." I rest my head on his shoulder. "You should go to your parents' until you're better, Jay. No one wants you freaking out."

"No!" he begs me, his voice adamant.

I frown. "Why? You shouldn't just be left alone with your thoughts. It's not good for you."

"B-but then you won't be around."

I sigh. "Jay, I know you like me to take care of you, but this isn't about us. This is about your physical and mental health, right?"

"Y-yeah." He buries his face in my hair. "But I don't want to be away from you."

Ouch. Once he gets better and I put some space between us, it's going to be hard for him.

"I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean,

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken.

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason."

A niggling of doubt rises in my mind, as it has for the past two months. Do I really have to leave? Is there some way I could fix myself while I'm here, so I don't have to go?

But even if I did find a way to stop hurting others, I would still have to separate myself from Jay for a while. I don't think there's any other way for him to break his obsession.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and I pull it out. It's from Cole.

Cole: electrical explosion at factory in Nom. need 2 check it out

I bite my lip, tapping out a response.

Nya: I'm at the monastery.

Cole: be there in 30 mins. do u know bout Lloyd

Nya: No clue. Have you tried calling him?

Cole: yes. won't pick up

Nya: I'll try.

"Who are you texting with?" Jay sniffles, his warm arms holding me close.

"Cole. He says there's something weird going on at a factory in Nom. It could be related to what the police asked us to check out last night."

"I'll come." He starts to get up, but I push him back down.

"You need to stay here, Jay." I place my hand to his forehead. "Your fever's gone down since this morning. Did you take medicine while I was gone?"

He blinks, blushing. "Um, y-yes. I did it...uh...a little before lunch."

"What'd you take?"

"I think...um, that it was, uh, the same stuff you gave me this morning." He shakes his head. "But I'm feeling better now."

"Your medicine will be wearing off pretty soon. Why don't we drop you off at your parents' house on our way to the factory?"

"No!" he begs. "Please, no. I-I need to be around you. If I go home, my mom won't want me to leave, and then...then you won't be there! Oh, Nya, please don't make me go!"

"There go my hands shaking,

And you are the reason

My heart keeps bleeding.

I need you now."

I sigh. "Jay, you know it's really bad how obsessed you are with me, right? Sometimes, it's like I can't even leave to eat lunch without you freaking out. Remember those allergy drills you made me do last week?"

Said allergy drills would be Jay's attempt to teach the team how to give me epinephrine, should I ever have a serious allergic reaction to perfume while they're around. In the end, I was highly embarrassed and hopping mad at Jay.

"The allergy drills were for your own good," he argues. "I worry about you a lot."

"Trust me, I know." I shake my head. "Jay, if you aren't going home..." I think. "Give me a sec, okay? I'll be back in a moment."

His eyes round. "Nya, don't – don't leave me. You just got back, and I hate being alone, and – "

"Okay, okay. You can come with me. I just don't want you up and moving if you're not feeling well." I pat his chest, climbing up from next to him.

He rises eagerly. "So...what will it take for you to let me stay?"

"I know I can't mix certain medicines, Jay, but I'm going to see if I can give you any anti-anxiety tea or something. I'm pretty sure the sedative I gave you last night is out of the question. Master Wu has some stuff in his collection that isn't your typical over-the-counter medication."

Jay groans. "Nya, I don't want to be out of my head because of medicine!"

"You're going to be out of your head anyway if we leave you here alone. You looked like you were about to have a breakdown when I got back."

He sighs. "Fine. Whatever."

We finally reach Master Wu's rooms and begin searching through his shelves. It doesn't take long for me to find Sereni-tea. The box says it'll calm him down, and since it's made from natural plants and herbs, he should be fine to combine it with the medication he took a few hours ago.

Jay sits at the kitchen counter while I brew the tea over the stove for him. He talks on and on about the advanced chemistry notes he was studying today, and I smile to myself. Poor Jay. He's been alone all day, and since he talks so much, he has a lot of words to make up for now.

"If I could turn back the clock,

I'd make sure the light defeated the dark.

I'd spend every hour of every day

Keeping you safe."

I finally finish his tea and pour it into a cup, setting it in front of him. "I'm going to go use the restroom, okay? Cole should be back any time now."

"Okay," he says. "Just...please don't be gone long."

I bite my lip. "Jay, you really are – "

"Obsessed with you, I know. I can't help it. But also keep in mind that I've been alone all day, and that you're the only person around to keep me company now, and – "

I wrap his fingers around the mug in front of him. "I understand that you're lonely."

He pulls me to him and kisses my cheek, and my stomach tingles at the touch.

I move away from him. "Um...I'm going to go."

"I love you." He snags my hand. "Do you love me, too?"

I let out a strangled sigh. "I – I don't just tell people I love them anymore, okay?" It's not as simple as that these days. I understand now how much 'I love you' means, and...Jay may like telling people that all the time, but not me. I want to save it. I want it to be special.

"Oh." He nods sadly. "Okay."

I bite my lip. Jay only cares about me when it comes to romance, that's for sure.

I leave and head to the restroom, overall worried about Jay. Whatever happened to the person he was in February? The Jay who apparently crushed on me for a year and a half – a year and a half – and even though we weren't together, he still cared about me as a person? Is it so wrong to wish that not everything had to come back to us as a couple?

Anymore, though, whenever we do homework together or watch a movie or train with each other, he inevitably steers things to a conversation about our relationship. He's just hurting me every time he says anything about it.

"And I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean,

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken.

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason."

Again, that doubt rises in my mind. Maybe there is some way I could change and stop hurting people. Then, I could stay here, right? But I still wouldn't date Jay right now. I know he'd push me to limits I'm not ready for, and he'd lose himself in his obsession with me. Neither of us could be happy that way.

When I get back, the tea is gone, and he's setting his cup in the sink. He smiles at me, almost guiltily.

"Um, I'm, uh, finished." He gives me an exaggerated yawn. "Do you mind if we go lie down for a while?"

I sigh, knowing he's milking the situation. "I...okay, Jay." I mean, since he's not feeling well, I guess it's okay to do couple-y things together.

He beams and pads back to my room, and I follow. He cuddles up under the blankets, then holds out his arms for me.

I roll my eyes. "That tea and your medicine must have you feeling a lot better." I carefully seat myself on the edge of my bed, and he cuddles me right up against him.

I clear my throat. "Um, Jay...this is a little close, don't you think? We're broken up."

"I think it's just right," he says contentedly.

I gently extract myself from his clutches, putting a little space between us. "How about I give you a tummy rub instead? You said your stomach was hurting, right?" Cuddling is just...too close for me, since we're not a couple.

He studies me. "I'd be okay with that. I mean, I'd rather snuggle, but...that works."

"Okay." I rearrange him so he's laying on his back, then I massage small circles across his t-shirt. I swallow – in the three months since we were together, he's gotten stronger. I can feel the definition of his abs through his t-shirt.

Oh, golly, we need space.

"I don't wanna fight no more,

I don't wanna hide no more,

I don't wanna cry no more.

Come back, I need you to hold me.

Come a little closer now,

Just a little closer now,

Come a little closer now.

I need you to hold me tonight."

"Feeling better yet?" I ask him.

"Mmhmm."

I finish his belly rub and swivel my legs off the bed, but his eyes pop open.

"Where are you going?" he asks, his tone anxious.

"Um, well, I was going to go see if Cole was back yet. I thought you were ready to rest."

"I...not quite." He smiles sheepishly. "My neck is kind of sore from lying in one position all day, so if you want to..."

I stifle a smile, and I place my hands at the base of his neck, massaging it gently. At least now I'm not so close to him.

His muscles immediately lose tension. "We both know I was worried about you, but...were you about me today?" he whispers.

I cough. "I was slightly concerned. You were a blip on my radar."

"You were worried," he says happily.

"Oh, whatever." I blush.

As I finish massaging his neck, I feel his body begin to relax. The tea must be kicking in.

There's a knock on my door, and Cole pokes his head in. I step away from Jay, hoping Cole won't notice how close we were.

"Hey," he says. "We're waiting on Lloyd and your brother."

"Okay. I'll, um, join you in a moment."

Cole nods and leaves, closing the door behind him.

"Jay?" I whisper. "Are you still awake?" I kind of need to get out of here.

"Yep," he mumbles. "Are you sure we can't cuddle?"

I shake my head, my lips quirking upwards. "Maybe for a few minutes, Jay Walker." I snuggle into him, burying my face in his chest. He smells like Old Spice from his shower last night, combined with his own special Jay scent.

I inhale. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. He probably won't shower again for several days, given that he's ill.

His warm arms wrap around me, and I can't help but relax, just a little.

"Are you feeling any better?" I ask softly.

"Much," he replies. "All warm and tingly and happy, thanks to you."

And thanks to some special tea, but whatever.

"I have to go meet with the others, but...I can stay with you five more minutes, okay?"

"Mmm," Jay hums, making a pleased little noise in the back of his throat. He pulls me closer. "You're the best." His voice comes out slurred.

"I try."

After just a minute or two longer, I whisper, "Are you still awake?"

Since he doesn't answer, I know he's drifted off.

"I – I, um, really care about you, Jay Walker," I swallow. "And even if I can't say it when you can hear me, I would do anything if it meant we could be together. But you're messed up, and so am I." Tears prick my vision, and I try to focus on Jay's arms instead.

"Love you," his garbled voice comes back to me.

I let out a tear-fraught laugh, burying my face in his chest.

At least one of us will remember this moment.

"I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean,

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken.

'Cause I need you to see

That you are the reason."

***(Skylor's POV)***

"Skye?"

Kai's voice makes me turn from my spot behind the counter, and I smile at him, setting the wet cleaning rag to the side. "Hey. Came to visit me on the job?"

"Yeah." He plays with a piece of my hair. "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

I study his sad eyes. "I don't have a few minutes, but I also don't care that I'm short on time. Sit down. Do you want something to eat?" I signal one of my managers to come over.

He smiles. "Nah, I'm good. I'll be at the booth in the corner, okay?" He jerks his head in that direction.

I nod. "Gotcha. I'll be with you in a minute, okay?"

He rearranges the strand of hair he was playing with and heads off to his designated spot. When he's gone, I turn to the manager I called over and ask him to cover for me. The noodle shop isn't too busy right now, so the business should run smoothly while I'm gone.

I grab two sodas for Kai and me and make my way to his booth, setting down his drink. "What's on your mind?"

He snags a straw from my apron, unwrapping it and inserting it into his cola. "I'm...worried about Nya again," he confesses.

I sit down across from him. "She did give us a scare last month."

"Yeah." He takes a deep breath. "Skye, I trust you, but it really bothers me that you know why she's running away, yet you refuse to tell me."

"It's Nya's story to tell, not mine." I mean, this is really personal to Nya. She'd be so mad if I spilled her secret to Kai, and she'd probably run away right then.

"Yes, but if we could address that with her – "

"Kai, you need to bring this up with Nya, not me."

He releases a pained sigh. "You know she'll just clam up, as usual. I need answers from her, Skye!"

"Yeah, but I'm not going to give you those. Kai, if your sister has reason not to trust me – if I tell you her deepest secrets – then that just gives her more incentive to run away. Maybe I can bring things up with her, but not you."

"How else am I supposed to help her?" he asks, his tone broken.

My hands reach for his over the table. It's not professional to have this much on-the-job PDA with someone, but...Kai needs me right now.

I squeeze his fingers. "You can help her by reminding her how much you love her and how much she means to you. That's what Nya really needs to know, Kai – that despite any mistakes she's made or supposed failures she's had, you'll always care about her."

His eyes deepen. "Is...is this about something she's done?"

"Somewhat. Truth be told, it's something she thinks she's done." Nya considers herself responsible for the death of her parents, and I only know that by reading her mind. Just as a disclaimer, I didn't mean to read her mind. It just kind of...happened.

"That makes no sense," Kai mutters.

"Out of context, it really doesn't." I smile. "It's okay, Kai. We're not letting her run away, and I promise I'll talk with her about what happened. We're a power couple, right? A team? Trust me, we'll have no trouble keeping her under wraps."

"True. We are a good team." He strokes my hands with his thumbs.

Kai always has the warmest hands. Welcome to being engaged to the master of fire.

"I'm worried about her running away during the honeymoon," he confesses. "I know we have Cole and Jay keeping an eye on her, but..."

"You really think they're going to let her out of their sight?" I shake my head. "Trust me, she's not going anywhere. And by then...maybe we'll have convinced her not to go?"

He releases a breath through his teeth. "I hope you're right, Skye."

I roll my eyes. "When was I last wrong, Kai Smith?"

He thinks. "Well, when you were supposed to be giving me directions the other night – "

I scoff. "I gave you the right directions, Kai. You just refused to follow them, so we got lost!"

"Pfft," he smirks. "Whatever."

"Tell yourself that!" I stand. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Your policy about PDA on the job?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

I blink. "Seriously?"

"Oh, I'm serious." He stands, his hands still holding mine. "I think you should suspend that policy, at least temporarily, so we can – "

His phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he groans, retrieving it. "What now?"

"If you read your text, you can find out," I suggest sarcastically.

"Very helpful." He looks over his message and huffs. "Sorry, Skye, but we'll have to finish this later. I have hero stuff to do."

I raise an eyebrow. "'Hero stuff'?"

"Yep," he shrugs, pasting on his irresistible half-smile. "I'll see you later, babe." He pulls me to him for a hug.

I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe in his familiar scent, just for a moment. Kai inevitably smells good. He thinks a little too highly of his appearance, so he always takes the time to style his hair and dress well and wear cologne.

Yeah, he can be vain. But he's never too vain to see me. Under his haughtiness and overprotective nature, he's a teddy bear.

A teddy bear that I'll be happy to spend the rest of my life with.

***So...yeah. Welcome to the angst-fest. I mean, we still get some cute Kailor moments, so everything works out...okay, no, it doesn't. JaYa, WhY?

Next chapter will be out tomorrow or Wednesday - it depends, once again, on how studying's coming ;)***