"He looks like my dad." I breathed out.

"I thought your dad is dead??" Seunghoon asked. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fucking sure. He looks like it. He talks like him. Even this goddamn food tastes like his!!!" My chest heaved up and down. "He was here...for all those years?!" I asked furiously.

"Taeyeon-"

"Let's get out. I don't want to be here." I said, getting up and walking straight out the door.

All these years...he was hiding in Japan?! He didn't even say anything, and he just up and left to go move abroad with a new family?! I gasped for fresh air as I walked, somewhere-anywhere. I made my way into a convenience store, with nothing in mind of what to buy.

"...can I have a pack of those cigarettes?" The words slipped out of my mouth unconsciously.

I only smoked when I was stressed. The habit started when I was in high school, but I haven't done it for about a year until today.

One more time wouldn't hurt.

Smiling and thanking the cashier, I went out the door and found a pretty empty area to sit in. I sat in one of the benches and lit up my cigarette, holding it to my lips.

The burn felt relaxing, like it was burning away all my thoughts and stress.

I could just forget about my dad. He left me in the first place, why should I chase him?

My phone rung a whole bunch of times, on my way and at the moment as well.

Ding!

Seunghoon:
Where are you?!

Ding!

Seunghoon:
Cmon, please answer

Ding!

Seunghoon:
Be careful out there ok? We're looking for you rn

Ding!

Mino:
Taeyeon? Where are you? Everyone is worried nuts right now please answer soon

Minyun:
ANSWER!!!! Omfg where the fuck are you???

Seungyoon:
Seunghoon is seriously panicking rn, please answer us

WINNER's Manager-Nim:
Taeyeon, answer the phone right now.

I sighed, closing out the windows. I was relieved that they were worried about me.

I sat in silence, only a few voices were heard in the darkness, and the sound of splashing water in front of me as well.

"Taeyeon!!"

I turned my head, and saw a Seunghoon running over to me at the speed of light. He put his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"W-e w-were so...worried." He said. "Thank fucking god."

I smiled. "Sorry. I just needed some air."

Seunghoon threw himself next to me on the bench, looking at me weirdly. "Is that...a cigarette??"

I looked down to the object between my two fingers, and nodded. "Why?"

He snatched the thing out of my hands, throwing it on the ground and stepping on it. "You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you."

I shrugged. "Only once in a while."

Seunghoon shook his head. "Never."

I chuckled. "You care too much."

"It's hard not to." He paused. "So...that guy, he was really your father?"

I nodded. "Found him."

"I'm sorry that you had to find him like that." Seunghoon said, trying to make me feel better.

"I was just...shocked. And to see him with another family..." I said. "He looked too...happy."

He nodded.

"He left without saying a single word, making us suffer, wondering what the hell happened. Then we find him with a new family, one that looks so perfect and happy, without me and my mother." My eyes started watering up, and I sniffled. "Why the fuck am I crying..."

"It's okay to cry...when you need to. If you build it up all, it'll just explode. Boom." Seunghoon imitated a bomb exploding its his hands.

I chuckled. "You always know how to make me feel better."

He giggled and pinched both of my cheeks.

"Aish, now you're back to being annoying." I said.

I suddenly felt too arms wrap around me tightly, resting there. He was close, his breath fanning my ear. My heart was beating faster than Usain Bolt. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. It was warm being like this, and needless to say, kind of intimate.

And for some reason, tears starting spilling out of my eyes. I cried into Seunghoon's chest, sniffling and hiccuping.

"Aigoo, here she comes." I heard Seunghoon chuckle.

Once my little cry session was over, Seunghoon let go of me. I suddenly missed the warmth of his arms, as weird as that sounds.

"Well, my manager's gonna kill me." He said, showing me the 100+ messages from everybody.

I laughed. "Sorry, and thank you."

"No need to thank me, let's go." Seunghoon said, grabbing my arm and leading me back.

###

"Oh my god, thank god you're okay." The whole group sighed.

"We were so worried! You weren't hurt, right??" Minyun asked, lightly dusting off the dirt on my clothes and hair. "A stylist for an idol group shouldn't look like a mess."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm sorry I ran away, guys. Thank you for looking for me."

"Aww!! It's okay." Suhee said. "Anything for our Taeyeonie~"

"Now that we have found the lost kid, shall we go back and get some rest? I'm tired." Mino whined. "But we're really thankful you're okay, seriously."

"You should've seen Seunghoon, he was  about to cry." Jinwoo teased.

Seunghoon pretended like he was about to hit Jinwoo. "I did not!"

"You were having a mental breakdown too." Seungyoon added.

"Never seen him this stressed in his entire life, even as an idol." The manager joined in.

Seunghoon sighed. "They're such liars." He said stubbornly.

I giggled. "I know you care for me~"

"Shut up!"

###

"Taeyeon!! Please get your head out of the clouds." The head of stylists scolded. "What's wrong with you today?"

I sighed, still thinking about that disturbing night. "I'm sorry, I will pay attention better."

Today was the last concert in Tokyo, and my mind was just not there. I was stressed, tired, and feeling hopeless. Random thoughts of visiting my real dad again popped in my head. How would he react?

"Taeyeon? You okay?" Seunghoon asked.

I shrugged. "Tired."

"You could rest for a little, I'll tell someone to take your spot."

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

...

"It's still bothering you, isn't it?" Seunghoon asked.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah..."

"I think you should go talk to him. You'll regret it if you don't." Seunghoon suggested.

"What if he doesn't see me as his daughter anymore?" I asked.

"Would you rather know for the rest of your life that your dad found a new family and you never talked to him again?"

Seunghoon's words hit me. What if I never saw him again?

I have to go see my father, even if he doesn't want to see me. I won't regret anymore.

A/N: UPDATE AGAIN BECAUSE ILL BE ON VACATION FOR THE NEXT 5 DAYS :)