Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or (I'll come up with a threat in 3-5 business days)

Yeah, we're absolutely destroying them. Shuko, wanting to go first on everything, absolutely destroyed that guy in boxing.

The next challenge was bowling, which we nominated Kalluto to do. Mainly because he's the only one who wouldn't toss the bowling ball at someone for fun.

Harou won the basketball game.

Anzai, very chaotically, won the Sumo match. And by chaotically I mean 172 watermelons were flying everywhere as Misery x CPR x Reese's puffs was blasted in the background.

"I'm next. I think I'll go with an eight-on-eight game, of dodgeball." Razor said before summoning some Nen beasts. Well that's gay. You ain't a quirked up white boy who's goated with the sauce.

"Pick eight members for your team. As you can see, I already have mine." Razor instructed.

"I'm playing!" Gon shouted.

The players cause I'm gay-

1-Gon
2-Killua
3-Y/n
4-Jinx
5-Dave
6-Urara
7-Kurapika
8-Uvogin

Illumi was apparently unnecessary, which is actually great because he dug away like eight minutes ago. That's definitely normal. Completely normal.

Wait, why was I volunteered to play? Bitch I'm not helping y'all. I'm just going to make fun of you when you get hit.

"One of your members is a cat?" Random pirate #I-forgot-what-number-we're-on questioned.

"Is there a problem with that? Are you cat-ist? Do you hate cats? Do you love to kill cats for fun? You're a terrible human being." I replied.

"Wait- I don't kill cats! I'm not that bad! I was just curious I swear!"

"Curiosity killed the cat. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I love cats I promise!"

I love my life.

I also want to end my life.

Mood.

"Here are the rules. Each team starts with seven players on the court and one out. First team with no players in the court loses. Any player who's hit with a ball while in the court is out and goes outside. However, you may bring one player inside the court again by saying 'Back'. Also if the ball lands outside the court and you don't have any players there, the opposing team gets the ball." Razor explained. Rules are gay. I didn't even listen to half the stuff you said. I do what I want.

"Now the important stuff."

There's more!?!?

"We'll use the cushion rule. Ricochets are live until they land. For example, if I throw the ball and it hits opposing player A, ricochets, and hits opposing player B before hitting the floor, both A and B are out." Sounds gay. Everything is gay. Everyone is gay. You're gay.

"But let's say that I throw the ball and it hits opposing player A, ricochets, and hits my own teammate, player C before hitting the floor, only player C is out, not A." Bro I am so confused. Was there an easier way of explaining this? Just dumb it down for me.

"And now we will begin the match!" Oh well, I'm not gonna follow the rules anyways.

Uvogin got the ball first, and naturally he completely destroyed three of the Nen beasts in one throw. Not just getting them out, the Nen beasts went p o o f. They're gone. Just like Gon's dad.

"Impressive. You've got quite a strong throw." Razor praised.

"Hey, hey! Let me throw it next! I wanna try!" Gon exclaimed. Ah, enhancers, they're all excessively loud and annoying.

Don't tell Gon I said that. He already has one shitty parent, he doesn't need to know that I'm an terrible parent to.

...Where the actual fuck did Kalluto get an ice cream cone?

What-

Why has Dave set up an ice cream stand on the goddamn court. What's wrong with all of you.

I'll just ignore it. Ignoring all my problems is always a good idea. And by ignoring my problems I mean ignoring Hisoka.

Yeah he's probably going to annoy the shit out of me to get me to stop ignoring him. ...And I've jinxed it. Fuck.

I'm boreddddd...

Poem time I guess.

Roses are red, silent as a mouse, your door is unlocked, I'm inside your house.

It's even better if you imagine Hisoka saying it.

"It's our turn now." Razor said. Yes, I got that. The fact that you are holding the ball kind of gave it away.

Oh look, Urara is dead.

I'll just-

"Hello there! Please rate your dying experience from 1-10! We also have a small survey for you to fill out-"

"Go fuck yourself."

"I'll take that as a 'My dying experience was not pleasant'."

"I'm going to kill myself." Urara muttered.

"If you could just fill out this survey afterwards-"

Lol. She tossed an ice cream stand at me.

When people start physically harming you everyday you know you've succeeded in being as annoying as possible. It's amazing.

"My ice cream stand.." Dave muttered.

"The ice cream..." Kalluto added.

"Alright, who's next?" Razor asked. Well, seeing how you're holding the ball, I would assume that whoever you toss it at will be 'next'.

Ball goes yeet, please send me pictures of your feet.

I'm sorry. I'll kill myself if y'all want.

Dave caught the ball with one hand. How is that even possible? You don't know Nen. You weren't given godly powers. Can every ice cream store employee do that?

Razor was obviously realizing that he fucked up. Loser.

"Give the cat the ball, it will be hilarious!" Uvogin said.

How the fuck is Jinx even going to hold the ball? This makes no sense. Where is the logic in this fanfic? Where is my will to live? I know I lost it somewhere around here.

Jinx got the ball, using telekinesis to hold it, and then yeeted it at Razor.

The ball goes yeet, Gon and Ging will never meet.

Razor used that 'Back' thing to rejoin the game. That's gay.

Jinx has decided to take a nap.

Dave has started a black market sweet shop.

Kalluto and Killua were sacrificing the children to Gay_Bot. Probably to get Homocoins so they can buy ice cream and chocolate robots.

Anzai was playing his own version of dodgeball with Layoreo.

Layoreo was trying to not get hit by the insane amount of hockey pucks being tossed at him.

Kurapika was attempting to murder Uvogin.

So, as you can see, we're all very mentally stable humans that are not mentally unstable. Trust me.

The ball goes yeet, I don't have a poem so parakeet.

Poem 10,000 (Please imagine the cool sunglasses emoji face. The author grounded me from using the emojis.)

Seriously though, how dare this guy have the audacity to throw the ball at me. The disrespect.

I obviously dodged, making the ball hit Killua instead.

"Hey!" Killua shouted.

"Sucks to suck."

Everyone, except for Gon, had completely forgotten about the dodgeball game. I'm supposed to be the forgetful one.

Welp, let's see how Gon does.

...

...

To give him credit, he did take down all the Nen beasts before passing out.

"So is anyone going to toss the ball at this Razor-scooter guy?" I asked.

I'll take the screaming children (and Layoreo) as a no.

I could be as unhelpful as possible and let us lose, but then I'd have to watch Gon try again, and I simply don't have the time for that. I have better things to do, like thinking about my trauma!

Oh, nevermind, he got hit by a hockey puck. Another hockey puck, that was definitely going over 100mph, hit the dodgeball and then the dodgeball then hit Scooter man. Yay, we win.

And then we lived happily ever after, the end.

Seriously though, we got the card we needed. Now we just have to get more Pokémon cards. Yay.

Word count: 1450

Fun Facts:

• Yay dodgeball- I honestly think this chapter was pretty funny, but my sense of humor is pretty fucked up so that doesn't mean much

• Next chapter will probably be the end of the Greed Island arc

• I really do need to end the whole Y/n ignoring Hisoka thing- but I don't even know how-

Hisoka, being the pedophile he is, would probably use seduction

But the author, being they lazy bitch they are, cannot be bothered to figure out how to write that shit

And the readers are gay. (This isn't relevant, it's just true.)

Extra Fun Fact:

• Yes, Illumi did get his hug. However, due to the large amount of cursing and violent activities I wasn't allowed to show you.