Shalnark
Wait- isn't Illumi the person you
were trying to fuck???

Cool kid
...Well yes but also no

Illumi
Trying to fuck???

Illumi
You could've just asked-

Dad
No.

Mom
No.

Mother
No.

Cool kid
Fuck me????

2 people are now online

Dad
Y/n.

Mom
No.

Mother
Absolutely not

Feitan
No.

Shizuku
Why did I come online?

Illumi
I'll tell you when I'm free

Hisoka
I'll get to it first~

Illumi
I call dibs

Hisoka
I'll still do it~

Cool kid
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Shalnark
No.

Shalnark
But also

Shalnark
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Shizuku
Fight Ig-

Cool kid
Dude a year ago I was chillin in my
room alone like a loser- and now I got
people fighting over me-

Cool kid
Like my life just ✨flipped✨the fuck
around

Dad
I'm going to kill both of you

Cool kid
...

Cool kid
Flip a coin-

Cool kid
I had to

Dad
😐😑😐😑

Mom
Shalnark can you track Illumi??

Shalnark
Already tried- no I can't

Shalnark
The amount of protection that phone
has-

Cool kid
He is a Zoldyck after all

Dad
That is the only reason he's still alive

Feitan
^

Illumi
K- tell me when you're gonna kill me
so I can plan my schedule 😃

Cool kid
Lol

Shalnark
Officially added to the suicidal squad

Cool kid
Nice :3

Illumi
Anyways-

Cool kid
😐

Illumi
Anygays-

Illumi
Since Hisoka ain't stalking Killua
I can leave

Cool kid
Wow 💔 don't even care that I'm being
stalked

Illumi
A- You can protect yourself

Cool kid
Not from Hisoka-

Illumi
B- Hisoka is literally obsessed with you

Cool kid
That's probably not a good thing

Illumi
C- You want to die anyway

Cool kid
Fair point

Cool kid
Anywhore- what are y'all doin?

Hisoka
Nothing~

Dad
Planning a murder

Mom
^

Feitan
^

Mother
^

Shalnark
Literally nothing

Cool kid
You're texting me-

Shalnark
Nothing of importance*

Cool kid
🥲

Illumi
Murdering people

Cool kid
Nice- I did that a couple days ago

Shalnark
Cool

Cool kid
So- I'm bored

Cool kid
We can either do something or talk about Illumi's lack of parental love and
affection

Illumi
What do you want to do 😃

Cool kid
This is why I love you-

Dad
No

Cool kid
That's all you've been saying :(

Cool kid
I'll do what I want

Cool kid
I'm a bad bitch💅✨

Shalnark
A- No

Shalnark
B- Go bad bitch💅✨

Cool kid
So y'all wanna play t/d 😃

Illumi
I can't leave apparently- so sure

Cool kid
Nice

Shalnark
I got nothing else to do Ig

Feitan
yes

Cool kid
😮 Who da fluck are you???

Feitan
I change mind

Cool kid
No- I'm sorrryyyyy

Cool kid
(Also do want you want- as long as it's not killing me- if it is killing me not torturing
me would be appreciated)

Shalnark
What the fuck!?!??

Cool kid
?

Feitan
No.

Shalnark
Feitan smiled!?

Feitan
No.

Cool kid
RIP Shalnark

Cool kid
You weren't loved

Shalnark
Hey!

Shalnark
Wai-

Shalnark is now offline

Cool kid
Fighting is no longer banned

Feitan is now offline

Dad
You can't do that-

Cool kid
To bad I just did

Cool kid
Anywhore Paku T/d

Mom
Truth

Cool kid
If you had to choose would you prefer
Machi or Chrollo to adopt me??

Mom
Machi

Cool kid
No hesitation wow-

Mom
Y/n?

Cool kid
Dare >:3

Mom
Stay away from Illumi and Hisoka

Cool kid
Damn :( how am I supposed to kill Illu
now :(

Illumi
Ik :( you should try that more often :/

Cool kid
So sad :( it was fun to see you almost
ded :/

Illumi
I'm already ded inside :/

Mom
Tf?

Shizuku
I'm confused-

Cool kid
Hmmm Shizuku T/d

Shizuku
Truth?

Cool kid
Who's the hottest in chat (not including yourself)

Shizuku
You

Cool kid
💗

Dad
😑

Shizuku
Illumi? I think-

Illumi
Dare

Shizuku
Rate Y/n 1-10

Illumi
10 being the best?

Shizuku
Yes

Illumi
9-10 stole my siblings :/

Cool kid
My siblings* we're getting married remember???

Illumi
9-10 annoying :/

Cool kid
Much better

Dad
I'd say no but you're just going to do
it anyways

Cool kid
Yuhhh 🙃💅✨

Feitan is now online

Cool kid
Can Shal play? Or is he ded??

Feitan
dead

Cool kid
Nice- Illumi's turn

Illumi
Y/n?

Cool kid
Dare-

Illumi
If you had to choose- Me or Hisoka?

Hisoka
Hm~

Cool kid
You-

Illumi
You owe me a thousand dollars

Hisoka
Ouch~ I'll send it to you~

Cool kid
Fei?

Feitan
dare

Cool kid
Send me photos of yourself plssssss

Feitan

Feitan is now online
Feitan has sent 3 photos

Y/n is now online
Y/n has saved three photos
Y/n is now offline
Feitan is now offline

Hot people

2 people are now online

Cool kid
Fei your turn-

Feitan
y/n

Cool kid
Dare

Feitan
owe favor

Cool kid
K :3

Cool kid
Uhhh- Dad-

Dad
Truth

Cool kid
Would you rather I hang around Hisoka
or Illumi??

Dad
...Hisoka

Hisoka
Hm~

Cool kid
L Illumi

Illumi
💔I'm worse than Hisoka?

Cool kid
Anyways- your turn

Dad
Y/n?

Cool kid
Dare

Dad
Explain the killing Illumi thing

Illumi
Haha- I'm in danger 😃

Cool kid
Haha- I'm also in danger 😃

Dad
??

Cool kid
I may or may not have kissed Illu 🥵

Dad
What.

Cool kid
I should do it more often🥵🥵

Illumi
No complaints

Hisoka
I'm not surprised~

Cool kid
Lol

Cool kid
Love how everyone went silent-

Shalnark is now online

Shalnark
HELP M-

Shalnark is now offline

Feitan
i deal with

Feitan is now offline

Cool kid
That's hot-

Cool kid has deleted one message

Illumi
🤨🤨📸📸📸

Cool kid
There's no proof-

Cool kid
They're probably planning murder-

Mother
Yeah

Cool kid
RIP Illumi

Illumi
Ah yes finally some good fucking
sleep

Cool kid
Anzai 2.0

Illumi
I was born first-

Cool kid
Fair

Cool kid
Uhhh- Hisoka T/d

Hisoka
Dare~

Cool kid
Hmmmmmmm don't stalk Gon

Hisoka
Then I'd have to stalk you more~

Cool kid
Deal

Hisoka
Alright~

Hisoka
T/d darling~

Cool kid
Dare

Hisoka
Go on another date with me~

Dad
Another?

Cool kid
Lol RIP Hisoka

Illumi
Ouch- you leave for a week and and immediately start dating other men 💔

Cool kid
You're still my favorite tho 💞🥵

Illumi
Sure 🙄💔

Dad
Now I have two murders to plan

Cool kid
You do know that Hisoka wants to fight
you right-

Hisoka
I get to date you and fight the boss?~

Cool kid
See-

Feitan is now online

Feitan
hi

Cool kid
Hello 🛐🛐🛐

Shalnark is now online

Shalnark
Fucking simp-

2 people are now offline

Cool kid
Lmao 😂🤣😂😂🤣

Cool kid
Fei- 3 Shalnark- 0

Cool kid
Anyways- Illu T/d??

Illumi
Dare

Cool kid
:) Burn piggy's stuff

Illumi
:) alright

Illumi is now offline

Cool kid
Heh heh heh...

Cool kid
Anyone wanna play kiss marry kill?

Hisoka
Sure~

Shizuku
Yes

2 people are now online

Shalnark
I will-

Feitan
k

Mother
Why not-

Mom
Sure

Dad
Might as well

Cool kid
Hisoka Kiss marry kill- Machi, Me,
Illumi

Hisoka
Kill Illumi, Marry you, Kiss Machi~

Machi
No thanks.

Cool kid
Imagine being Illumi- L

Hisoka
Shalnark~ Y/n, Feitan, Chrollo

Shalnark
Kill Feitan, Marry Y/n, and kiss boss
Ig-

Cool kid
I'm the favorite 😫

Shalnark
Y/n- Illumi, Hisoka, Feitan

Cool kid
I- fuck

Cool kid
Kiss Illumi, Marry Feitan (and probably
die doing so) Kill Hisoka-

Hisoka
Ouch~

Cool kid
I can't believe you did that to me-

Cool kid
Fei- Me, Hisoka, Shalnark

Feitan
kiss you kill shalnark kill hisoka

Cool kid
I sense there's something wrong 🤨

Feitan
marry you

Cool kid
Perfect

Shalnark
Simp

Cool kid
Fei can you murder Shal for me 😃

Feitan is now offline

Shalnark
I- Wai-

Shalnark is now offline

Cool kid
Fei- 4 Shalnark- 0

Cool kid
Uhh- Shizuku- Me, Machi, Shalnark

Shizuku
Kiss marry kill??

Cool kid
Yeah-

Shizuku
Kiss Machi, Marry you, Kill Shal

Cool kid
Not me being the favorite 💅✨

Illumi has hacked back into the chat

Illumi
Hullo

Cool kid
Yo- we're playing kiss marry kill now

Illumi
K

Shizuku
Machi- Hisoka, Y/n's mom, Illumi

Cool kid
Good choice-

Mother
Kill Y/n's mom, Kill Hisoka, Kill Illumi

Cool kid
😐😐😑😐😐😑😐😐

Mother
Y/n Shizuku, Feitan, Shalnark

Cool kid
Ez- Marry Fei, Kiss Shizuku, Kill Shal

Shalnark is now online

Shalnark
I'm the least favorite 🥲

Shalnark
NO- HEL-

Shalnark is now offline

Cool kid
Fei- 5 Shal- 0

Cool kid
Illumi- Me, Hisoka, Piggy

Illumi
Marry you, Kill Piggy, Kill Hisoka

Cool kid
You forgot kiss 🤨

Illumi
Kiss you, Marry you, Kill piggy, Kill
Hisoka

Cool kid
Everyone just cheating now-

Illumi
💅✨

Cool kid
😐😐😑😐😐😑😐😐

Illumi
Y/n Piggy, Tonpa, Your mom

Cool kid
Kill

Illumi
😐

Cool kid
K i l l

Illumi
Agreed tho-

Cool kid
Paku- Machi, Shizuku, Shal

Mom
Kill Shalnark, Kiss Shizuku, Marry
Machi

Cool kid
*Sniff Sniff* Smells like a 🏳️‍🌈homosexual🏳️‍🌈

Mom
💅✨

Cool kid
😦 It is!

Mom
😗✌️

Cool kid
Wait a second-

Cool kid
Machi- Paku, Shizuku, Shal

Mother
Kiss Shizuku, Marry Paku, Kill Shal

Cool kid
😦😦💅🏳️‍🌈✨

Mother
💅🏳️‍🌈✨

Cool kid
And Shizuku-

Shizuku
I'm pan💅🏳️‍🌈✨

Cool kid
Nice💅🏳️‍🌈✨

Cool kid
So- I'm bored-

Dad
Personal problem

Mom
^

Mother
^

3 people are now offline

Cool kid
Ouch-

Shizuku
Bye?

Shizuku is now offline

Illumi
Gtg-

Illumi is now offline

Cool kid
Wow 💔

Hisoka
Just for fun~

Cool kid
?

Cool kid
No don't you dare-

Hisoka is now offline

Cool kid
...

Cool kid is now offline

Word count: 1621

Fun Facts:

• Shalnark is officially dead ☠️  That's what he gets for fucking exposing us 💔

• Y/n is officially Feitan's favorite person-
A- They're scared of him (who wouldn't be)
B- They think he's hot (who wouldn't)
C- Makes fun of Gay (aka Phinks)

• Friendly reminder to drink water! 🔫 Very friendly...