When They Get to the Kukuroo Mountain (Because the trip was ✨boring✨)

"Your family owns an entire fucking mountain?"

"Yes?" I'm rich, but not that rich!

"Honestly, I don't feel bad for making you pay for everything then." I said. Stupid rich person.

"You felt bad before?" Illumi asked. Haha, no.

"Anyways why's the door so big? And why are we hiding in a tree?" I questioned.

"I don't want the guard to know I'm home yet. And it's called the testing gate, you should try to open it." Illumi answered.

"K" I replied, jumping down from the tree. I headed toward the testing gate. Fucking hell it's huge.

"Hm? Are you lost?" The guard asked.

"Nope! Wanted to see if I could open this." I replied, pointing toward the gate.

"You can try, each of the doors on the first gate weighs two tons. You'd have to be able to push four tons to open the first gate." The guard said. So I can open it, it's just a matter of how many gates I can open. I walked to the testing gate, opening up five of the seven gates.

"So how many tons was that?" I asked the guard who was standing there in shock. I'm surprised the old man didn't die of a heart attack.

"Sixty-four.." The guard said, still in shock.

"Cool."

"Oh! Oh I have to call Gotoh." He said, finally snapping out of shock.

"That won't be necessary." Illumi said, jumping down from the tree.

"Huh? oh, master Illumi, welcome home." The guard said, now bowing.

"So?" I asked.

"So what?" Illumi questioned.

"So, am I good enough to enter your family's fucking mountain?" I asked.

"Yes." Illumi replied, reopening the gate allowing me and him to enter. I wonder if Gon's still around... Eh, probably, kid doesn't know how to give up.

"So.. where we going now?" I asked, following Illumi.

"The house." Illumi replied.

"Ooo, I can meet your family now. I wonder how they'll react with the whole being a L/n thing."

"They'll probably attempt to kill you." Illumi replied. Oh, well alright.

"Oh so follow someone I met like a month ago to my certain death." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Exactly." Illumi responded.

"Y'know I haven't actually talked to my mom, she probably thinks the exam is still going on. Oh well." I mentioned, still following Illumi.

"Welcome home master Illumi." Another guard said. Damn, mans was ignored.

"Probably, you also haven't texted that groupchat either." Illumi pointed out. Oh shit.

"They're probably freaking out. So I'm going to be killed, but that's a problem for future me." I said.

"Chrollo might literally kill me, I'm the reason you haven't texted in more than a week." Illumi added.

"So he is a murderer! Also how do you know Chrollo?" I asked. I need answers.

"Hisoka doesn't want me telling you." Illumi replied. Cmon!

"Pleaseeeee."

"Hmm... no." How dare you!

"What do I have to do to get you to tell me?" I asked. I need answers!

"...Telling you would be pretty funny." Exactly!

"Exactly! You should tell me!"

"Fine, you just can't tell Hisoka." Yes! Finally!

"Alright."

"Chrollo, owns a cult, I mean group called the Phantom Troupe." Illumi explained. Oh, I think I've heard of them.

"So basically I kinda copied Chrollo with the whole cult thing."

"Yeah, you followed in your father's footsteps." Illumi replied.

"Exactly!"

"Oh, we're here." Illumi said, standing in front of the mansion.

"Welcome home, master Illumi, I shall inform your father that you have returned." A butler said.

"Alright." Illumi replied, leading me inside.

"Illumi! Welcome home! *Gasp* You brought a guest! Hello dear, I'm Illumi's mother. Is Illumi treating you right? I tried to teach him manners but I'm afraid he never payed attention." Illumi's mother said. I wonder how Killua will react when he sees me...

"Of course! You did a great job raising your son." I replied.

"Oh! At least someone noticed!" She said, glaring, or at least trying to, at the man who just came into the room.

"Mother, Father, this is Y/n." Illumi introduced.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." I added.

"Oh! They're so nice, and they look amazing! They're a perfect match for Illumi!" Illumi's mother said.

"The real issue is if they're strong." Illumi's father stated.

"They're a bit above Killua's level" Illumi informed. See, I'm way better than Killua.

"Alright, have them fight Canary then." Illumi's father replied before walking away.

"Don't mind him, let's see if we can find something better for you to wear!" Illumi's mother said.

"Alright, I'll see you later Illu." I said, following Illumi's mother.

"You even have a nickname for him! You're both such a cute couple! I never thought Illumi would be the first of my children to find a lover!" Illumi's mother squealed.

"Oh! I haven't properly introduced myself! My names Kikyo, you can just call me mother though! Seeing how you and Illumi will be getting married!" Kikyo said. Illumi's mother is so much better than mine!

"Alright mother." I replied, earning a squeal in return.

"Ah! You're just perfect! Now you just need a perfect outfit!" Kikyo said, grabbing an outfit.

Female

Male

After Changing

"Ah! You look marvelous!" Kikyo said.

"Thank you." I replied.

"Illumi has such good taste! You're absolutely perfect!" She added.

"Thank you, but you're way prettier than me." I replied. Time to become the favorite child, thus better than Killua.

"Ah! You're so perfect! I can't believe you love Illumi, you could've done better. But I'm not complaining!" Kikyo said. Damn, Illumi bouta have depression.

"Thank you." I replied.

"Oh yes, we must show Illumi your outfit! Gotoh go fetch Illumi." Kikyo commanded.

"Ah! I can't wait for Illumi to see you!" Kikyo said. She acts like a child high on candy.

"Illu will probably love it, you have amazing fashion taste after all." I complimented.

"Oh! You're perfect!" Kikyo replied. Ha, wait until you find out who my actual mother is.

"You called for me mother?" Illumi said, walking into the room.

"Perfect! I wanted you to see Y/n!" Kikyo responded.

"...You look nice." Illumi said.

"Just nice!? They look amazing! You deserve better dear." Kikyo replied, obviously upset. Illumi is officially depressed now.

"It's fine, Illu just isn't used to emotions. He just doesn't know what else to say." I defended.

"Ah! See how perfect they are Illumi!" Kikyo responds.

"Mhm." Illumi replied, nodding. See, I'm perfect.

"Perfect! Now, when is the wedding?" Kikyo asked, catching Illumi off guard.

"Hopefully soon, Illumi hasn't proposed yet..." I replied.

"Illumi! You have to propose before they leave you!" Kikyo yelled.

"...Sorry mother." Illumi said, sending a glare my way. Haha, I'm the favorite.

"Good! Zoldyck is a better last name than.. what was your last name dear?" Kikyo asked.

"L/n." Illumi replied. Finally, drama time!

"As in M/n L/n!?" Kikyo yelled.

"Yes." Illumi replied for me. Bitch, let me talk!

"You're her child!?" Kikyo questioned.

"Sadly." I replied.

"Oh.. Oh! She'll be so mad when she finds out you're dating Illumi!" Kikyo said.

"She'll be even more mad when she finds out I'm calling you mother." I added.

"Oh! This will be perfect revenge!" Kikyo replied.

"Agreed" Illumi added. Oo, I have an idea!

"Illumi you should put on a suit." I said.

"Yes! You'll both look perfect together then!" Kikyo agreed.

"No." Illumi replied.

"Would you rather wear a dress?" I asked, shoving a suit in his hands.

"...Fine." Illumi responded. Yay!

"Ah! You look perfect, just like Y/n!" Kikyo said, while I was still to stunned to speak. Hot. Hot. Hot.

"Are you alright Y/n?" Illumi asked, getting closer to my face.

"You're hot as fuck." I muttered, still shocked.

"Hm? I didn't hear you, can you repeat that." Illumi replied. No, fuck you.

"Shut up."

"You're both so cute together!" Kikyo squealed.

"Master Silva wishes to see Y/n." A butler said.

"Do you know why?" Illumi asked.

"A fight between Y/n and Canary I believe." The butler responded. Yay!

"Alright." Illumi replied, now following the butler and dragging me with him. I can walk!

"I can walk on my own." I said, causing Illumi to let go of me.

"You both may start when I say go." Illumi's father said once I entered the room. Illumi leaned against the wall.

"Go." I quickly appeared behind the butler. Chopping her neck, knocking her out.

"That was to easy.." I said, kinda disappointed.

"...I guess they may stay." Illumi's father said before leaving the room.

Word count: 1562

Fun Facts:

• Illumi's and Y/n's conversations have become way less awkward, y a y! Also Illumi kinda flirts with you, and you call him Illu-

• I just realized that I basically insulted y'all's moms- oh well-

• You all are S I M P S- and don't even try to deny it. So Y/n is now officially a simp, because why not? (Also because Illumi hot as hell 🛐🛐)

A/n

I'm probably going to barely post theses next 2-3 weeks! But I'll try to post as much as possible! I'll be on vacation so how much I post depends on how busy I am-

Also

If you have any character head cannons I'll gladly take them-

^ Lol-