Hot people
(Phantom troupe groupchat)

Cool kid is now online

Cool kid
There's probably times on the clock
you've never seen

3 people are now online

Cool kid
An inflatable pool is just a portable
puddle

Chrollo
Is there a reason for this?

Shalnark
I am confusion-

Mother
What???

Cool kid
Any bookmark worth more than a
dollar is a just a waste of money
because you can just use the dollar.

Shalnark
B r o k e

Chrollo
Their actually right but you could
just finish the book in one go

Cool kid
A guy walking around with a crowbar
is a lot more suspicious than a guy
walking around with 3 crowbars

Chrollo
Noted.

Mother
Don't encourage this

Shalnark
Why does that make sense-

Cool kid
The old u is actually your younger
self

Shalnark
This hurts my brain-

Cool kid
There was a time when your parents
picked u up as a kid put u down but
never picked u up again

Shalnark
That's kinda sad-

Mother
😑

Cool kid
U can be underweight u can be
overweight but u can't be just
weight

Mother
When did you even think of this
shit

Cool kid
I wonder how many alarm clocks go
off at the same time every morning

Chrollo
They'll run out of ideas soon enough

Cool kid
Teachers spend years in school for a
certificate saying they can go back to
school

Shalnark
Why would you want to go to school-

Cool kid
There's a point in everyone's life where
"how high can you count?" changes from
a matter of knowledge to a matter of will

Mother
I'm going to kill my self-

Cool kid
Guns are just super aggressive hole
punchers

Chrollo
I'm starting to believe you need
therapy

Franklin is now online

Franklin
But they're right-

Shalnark has changed Franklin's name to Hole puncher

Mother
Deserved

Hole puncher
I'm fine with this-

Shalnark
Lol

Cool kid
Onions force you to mourn their
death

Hole puncher
How do you come up with this-

Mother
I'm wondering the same thing

Chrollo
This is quite interesting though

Cool kid
Sleeping is weird you don't move for
hours and you're brain plays mini
movies in your head

Shalnark
No- Why is that correct-

Cool kid
At some point someone decided to add
crushed rock to their meal and now we
have salt

Hole puncher
Why? Just why?

Cool kid
Somebody heard snoring and thought
yeah that's the letter z

Shalnark
That person was high-

Cool kid
How come good morning and good
afternoon are greetings but goodnight is
a good bye

Mother
Shut up.

Cool kid
A kid who just learned the alphabet
must look at a computer keyboard and
think adults are a bunch of idiots

Shalnark
No- no why-

Cool kid
Your eyes never stop seeing that just
get covered

Chrollo
I think you're traumatizing them

Cool kid
Trees live underground and use the
above part as as a snorkel

Mother
Y/n Please shut the fuck up.

Cool kid
At one point you were the youngest
person in the world

Shalnark
Please just stop.

Hisoka is now online

Hisoka
What's going on~

Cool kid
U can't pretend to be a actor

Hole puncher
Stopppp

Chrollo
This is hilarious- but you need to
stop

Hisoka
Oh~

Cool kid
You would think drops of water falling
from 25,000 feet up would hurt more

Mother
If you don't stop I'm gonna start
stabbing-

Cool kid
Scissors only come together for one
reason- to divide

Shalnark
I'm begging you-

Cool kid
Drawing a tree on a piece of paper is
actually kinda messed up

Hisoka
You should stop darling~

Cool kid
Mk

Mother
What-

Shalnark
Why-

Chrollo
Explain

Cool kid
???

Hisoka
Hm?~

Mother
We all asked you to stop and you
listen to Hisoka-

Hole puncher
I don't know you and I'm confused-

Cool kid
Idk- Hisoka's just hotter Ig

Shalnark
What.

Mother
The.

Shalnark
Actual.

Mother
Fuck.

Cool kid
0 regrets

Hisoka
Hmm~ you think I'm hot?~

Cool kid
A lot of regrets-

Chrollo
Please tell me this is a sick joke

Cool kid
It actually is-

Cool kid
Well the part about only listening
to Hisoka-

Shalnark
So you think he's hot???

Cool kid
I mean based on looks alone yes-

Mother
Can I kidnap them and take them to
therapy?

Cool kid
No- but the counselor would agree-

Hisoka
Hm~ out of curiosity based on looks
how would you rate everyone~

Chrollo
I'm also curious now

Cool kid
I could answer but curiosity killed the
cat

Shalnark
An amazing day to not be a cat then

Mother
Tell us

Cool kid
✨N o✨

Hisoka
I'll just assume I'm a ten then~

Cool kid
Mk

Chrollo
Why aren't you telling us?

Cool kid
✨Private Information✨

Shalnark
So you're hiding stuff from us?

Cool kid
I mean- hiding how hot u find people is
a lot better than hiding the fact you're murderers-

Chrollo
We're not

Cool kid
Proof?

Cool kid
Exactly there is none

Hisoka
I'd assume you'd just trust us~

Cool kid
I've been told you're a pedo multiple
times-

Hisoka
Exactly~ we trusted you with that~

Mother
As much as I hate it I'm agreeing with
Hisoka

Cool kid
Fair- but they also want you to go
to jail-

Chrollo
Nothing we say will convince you will it?

Cool kid
No. Also I'm bored-

Chrollo
Personal problem

Cool kid

Shalnark
😐

Chrollo
We'll simply ignore you until you tell
us

Cool kid
A. Manipulation?? And B. That won't
work

Chrollo
No and why not?

Cool kid
Do you really think that everyone in
chat could ignore me for that long?

Chrollo
Yes

Cool kid
Bet I'm winning this.

Chrollo
I'll inform the rest of chat now

Everyone has left the chat

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
The next day

Hisoka's and Your chat

Hisoka is now online

Hisoka
Darling~

Y/n is now online

Y/n
I won-

Hisoka
You could brag about that to Chrollo
but I have a better idea~

Y/n
What do I get out of this?

Hisoka
Entertainment~

Y/n
I could entertain myself how bout a
favor?

Hisoka
Deal~

Y/n
What's this idea of yours?

Hisoka
I'll make sure to make things boring
over here~ you just have to not text~

Y/n
Sounds like fun- also try to remind
them about me as often as possible

Hisoka
This is why you're my favorite~

Y/n
I'm everyone's favorite

Hisoka
You should mess with them when they
do text~

Y/n
What do I get from that?

Hisoka
It would be fun~

Y/n
Fair point

Hisoka
Alright~ have fun~

2 people are now offline

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
5 days later

Hot people
(Phantom troupe groupchat)

Mom is now online

Mom
Y/n

7 people are now online

Nobunaga
Cmon! Just a couple more days we
could've won!

Chrollo
It seems I underestimated them

Gay
Seriously! We so could've won!

Hisoka
I doubt that~ Pakunoda was going
insane~

Mother
You were the one reminding her about
Y/n every five minutes!

Mom
They still hasn't texted!

Mom
They could be dead!

Cool kid
You all didn't even last a week-

Mom
Why didn't you respond!

Cool kid
Chill I was busy-

Mother
Doing?

Chrollo
You're never busy

Cool kid
Im reading

Cool kid
I'm obviously alive so can I read
again?

Mom
You've been reading? Y/n wouldn't
read willingly

Cool kid
There's nothing else to do

Mother
You can literally text us

Cool kid
Sounds kinda boring

Shalnark
Bitch what-

Mother
If you leave this chat I will kill you-

Mom
Agreed.

Chrollo
I'm 50% sure you're not Y/n

Cool kid
You were right that was hilarious-

Hisoka
Told you darling~

Shalnark
What-

Cool kid
Hisoka told me to mess with you
and he was right it was a lot of fun

Mother
Grounded

Cool kid
Oh Mk- I'll not use my phone for a
week

Mother
Ungrounded

Cool kid
Ha-

Mom
So you're teaming up with Hisoka now?

Shalnark
Yeah- you and Hisoka teamed up like a
week ago to

Cool kid
Only when it benefits me

Chrollo
If Hisoka messaged you wouldn't that
mean you had already won?

Cool kid
Yeah, but this was fun and Hisoka owes
me a favor

Nobunaga
He won't stay true to his word

Cool kid
He might not- but that'd be boring

Hisoka
Exactly~

Shalnark
The fact that you both are somewhat
close worries me-

Mother
Agreed. If you touch them I'll break every
bone in your body.

Mom
^

Cool kid
Who's stronger?

Mother
...

Mom
...

Cool kid
I'm guessing that means Hisoka-

Hisoka
Correct~

Cool kid
So basically you could kidnap me at
any time- and they couldn't do
anything- lol ima die-

Chrollo
I'd stop him, and if they teamed up
they could too

Cool kid
So your stronger than Hisoka?

Chrollo
Probably

Cool kid
Y'all should fight or somethin-

Hisoka
We should~

Chrollo
No thanks

Cool kid
L but- A video games final boss sees you
as a serial killer

7 people are now offline

Cool kid
Lol-

Cool kid is now offline