Dennis: Regular tie or bow-tie?

You: Hello, Dennis. It's been like ... three years since i've seen your glorious texts pop up on my screen. I'm telling you, it's been a sad time.

Dennis: Yes, hi. But seriously, tie or bow-tie?

You: My roommate's been getting annoyed with my moping, you know. I think she's at a point where she'll wait until I'm sleeping and then either delete you from my phone and block you, or harass you until you respond to me.

Dennis: This is serious, Star Girl.

You: How could your tie crisis be more important than my friend threatening you and me?

Dennis: I have a date tonight. [ read at 2:30 PM ]

Dennis: I want to look my best you know? It's been a while since my last girlfriend. I lost her to cancer in my senior year of high school; we'd been together since eighth grade. Knew her since kindergarten. It destroyed me. This is my first date since losing her. I just want to feel like I'm putting effort into it, because that's what she would've wanted from me. She would've hated if I didn't try because of her. So.  [ read at 2:32 PM ]

Dennis: Tie or bow-tie? [ two picture messages ] [ read at 2:32 PM ]

You [3:05 PM ]: Tie.