So I have a bunch of It oneshots that I haven't posted...should I publish the book?? Maybe??

⚠ Homophobia (includes f-slur), fighting, misunderstandings, s*xual assault, panic attack ⚠

*Stan's POV*

•°• Spring 1992, Junior Prom •°•

I swayed side to side, my hands resting awkwardly on Patty Blum's waist. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl, but I have my eyes on someone else.

I looked across the room, seeing Bill laughing and dancing with Audra Phillips. A pinch of jealousy went through me. Patty sighed loudly, getting my attention.

"Listen, I know Audra is prettier than me, but you can at least TRY not to drool." She rolled her eyes.

"That's uh...n-nevermind." I bit my lip.

"You ok...?" She asked. "You don't look so good, Stan..."

"I like Bill," I blurted out quietly. "I'm not looking at Audra like that..."

"Oh..." Patty moved her arms off of my shoulders. "Go get him. You know he's the only openly gay kid in school. And even if Henry's a dick to you two, you'd still make a cute couple." She laughed and nudged me in their direction.

I smiled at her and mouthed 'thank you' before running off to Bill and Audra.

'You've got this, Stan. You're just talking to Bill, he's one of your best friends. Everything's gonna be ok.'

"Hey!" I smiled, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Can I, um, have this dance?"

"Aww sure!" Audra grinned and walked towards me.

"S-Sorry, uh, I was talking to Bill..." I blushed and looked down.

"Oh c-course we can d-dance." He blushed and put his hands on my waist. I felt my face heat up and I wrapped my arms on his shoulders.

"I'm surprised y-you want to dance with m-me," Bill laughed a little. "I mean, I kn-know you accept th-that I'm bisexual. B-But I thought you might be w-worried that someone would g-g-get the wrong idea."

"That's the thing..." My blush turned darker. "I like you...like like you."

Bill's smile dropped and he backed away from me. "Listen. I d-don't know what k-kind of game y-you're trying t-t-to play right now, b-but it's not cool. St-Stop making fun o-of me."

"I'm not jok-"

"Save it." Bill snapped at me, and I could swear I saw tears filling his eyes. "You're j-just like Bowers... I thought y-y-you different. I guess I w-was wrong." He turned away from me and walked back to the other Losers. A couple of them started glaring at me, while the others comforted Bill.

Tears fell down my face and I walked out of the gymnasium. I ran out to the hallway and covered my mouth so I didn't start crying out loud.

"Aw, did your fag boyfriend break up with you?" I turned around, spotting Henry Bowers and his friends laughing.

"Just leave me alone.." I wiped my cheeks quickly and speed-walked away.

"Not so fast, bitch." Victor grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me to the ground. I screamed as Belch kicked me, and Henry punched me.

I scrambled up and tried to push them and run away. Before I could, Patrick came up behind me, and grabbed me.

"Henry said I could have my way with you," He whispered in my ear. "You're such a fucking fag, I'm sure you'll like this." He kissed and bit at my neck.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "I don't like you, I like Bill!"

"You think I care?" Patrick scoffed and kept going, starting to give me a hickey.

He pushed me against the wall and flipped me so I was facing him. I brought my knee up, right into his crotch. Patrick squealed like a pig, before punching me straight in the gut. The rest of the gang came up next to us, and began to beat me up again.

"I'm gonna give Stan a piece of my mind..." I heard Richie growl, and footsteps stomped towards us. "Shit...hey, get off him!"

The fists and feet stopped hitting me, and I looked over just in time to see someone punch Richie square in the nose.

"Fuck!" Richie yelled and grabbed at his bleeding nose.

My fight or flight instincts kicked in. I jabbed Patrick with my elbow, darted in between the other boys, grabbed Richie's arm, and ran away.

"Holy fuck," Richie huffed. "Are you ok?"

I couldn't answer, I was having that bad an anxiety attack. Now that the chaos had died down, the panic set in. I was shaking and crying, scratching at my neck where Patrick kissed. The rest of the Losers ran up to us.

"What the hell happened?!" Eddie yelled, running over to Richie and checking over him to make sure he was ok.

Bill looked at me with worried eyes and put his hand on my cheek. "A-Are you ok? J-Just take some d-d-deep breaths, please."

I kept scratching at my neck, and moved down to my arms. "H-He touched me..." I whispered so only Bill could hear.

"Where?" He said just as quietly.

"Neck...tried to give me a hickey..."

"Ok, you're o-ok. Just keep taking th-those deep breaths f-f-for me. Can you do s-square breathing with me? In f-for 4 seconds, h-hold, out, hold, in again, a-all for 4 seconds."

I nodded and tried to do what Bill was saying, but I was having a really hard time.

"H-Hurts..." I whimpered, and grabbed Bill's hand.

"I kn-know it does, Stanny, I know," He squeezed my hand a little bit. "I know y-you were telling the truth b-before, you wouldn't lie l-like that..."

I nodded, still crying, but not shaking anymore. "I really do like you." I sniffled.

"I like you t-too, Stan," Bill smiled. "Now I h-have to g-go beat up those assholes, e-excuse me."

I laughed quietly and hugged Bill tightly. "Nope, you're staying here. I don't want them to hurt you."

"Let's get out of here, yeah?"

I held onto Bill's arm as he helped me get up. We walked out of the building, and I felt that warm air hit my face. I squeezed Bill's hand, feeling a lot better now.

I looked to my right. Patty and Audra were leaning against the wall, making out and giggling. I gave them a thumbs up and laughed.

Maybe things will finally get better now.

•°• Present day •°•

I coughed as the nurse adjusted my tube gently. Bill was rubbing my arm gently, trying to reassure me that I'll be ok. It wasn't working.

"There we go! It should be more comfortable now." She smiled.

"Thanks Courtney," Bill gave her a small nod and she walked out the door. "How are you feeling?"

"Ouchy..." I whined and put my head back on the stiff pillows.

"Aww, I'm sorry, baby," Bill kissed my forehead and ran his hand through my hair. "Do you need anything? I can call Courtney back here to get you some food."

I shook my head. "Not hungry."

Bill sighed and looked at me, obviously concerned. "You sure...?"

I kissed his nose softly and faked a smile. "I'm sure. For now, let's just rest, ok?"

"Gimme one second, I have to grab something," Bill grinned and rumaged through his bag. "Where is it...got it!" He turned around and handed me a little gift bag.

"Happy anniversary, Stanny." He blushed a little.

"Aw, Bill...you really didn't have to get me anything." I smiled, getting teary eyed. I opened the bag and looked inside.

There was a hand drawn portrait of me. I was smiling, and I was blushing ever so slightly. Bill's initials were sketched in cursive at the bottom corner of the page. There was another picture too, a framed Polaroid of all of the Losers at prom.

"That was 6 years ago, right?" Bill laughed a little.

"Yeah, 6 years on the dot... I still can't believe you thought I was joking when I said I liked you." I fake-glared at him.

"In my defense, you were a very good actor! Your straight acting skills were top of the notch." Bill rolled his eyes playfully and smirked.

"Oh my gosh, and then Audra and Patty got together too!" I snickered. "I almost forgot about that!"

"I can't believe a homophobic little town like Derry had so many gay kids." Bill kept laughing, louder now.

"To be fair, it's not a lot, but for a town like that?! Yeesh..." I sighed, smiling.

"I love you, Stan. Honest, I don't think I could love anyone as much as I love you."

I felt my heart well up again. "Happy anniversary, baby."

"Happy anniversary."