⚠ Suicidal thoughts ⚠

*Bev's POV*

Fuck.

I think I like girls.

I'm lucky I didn't get a nosebleed when I saw Emily and Ruby in the waiting room. Ruby is a 90s grunge icon and Em is so fucking adorable.

But then there's Ben. And I've loved him since we met on the last day of eight grade. But fuck, those girls are gorgeous...

And they're taken! By each other! There's no way I could get with them. Besides, I'm dating Ben, who's the best guy I've ever met.

Before Bill went into Stan's room, he moved closer to me and whispered something in my ear.

"You're staring at Ruby's boobs."

I could practically hear his smirk. I slapped his arm and felt my face turn red.

•°•

"So," Bill smiled as we hopped into his car. Ben had to take our car to work, so Bill's driving me home. "You think Ruby's hot, hmm?"

"And Emily," I muttered. "You're bi-"

"wOw rEaLLy?! How'd you figure it out?! It's not like I came out SEVEN YEARS AGO!" Bill yelled sarcastically.

"Shut up, Billiam. Just...how'd you know?"

"Simple. It was right before you kissed me after the oath. I watched Stan walk away from the circle and I thought 'Damn, his ass is hot'. Then you kissed me and walked away and I thought 'Damn, her ass is hot'."

I couldn't contain my laugh and Bill even let out a chuckle too.

"But Stan wasn't out yet. So I...dated Mike..."

"WHAT?! Oh my gosh, when? Does Stan know? Wait, when you had sex, who topp-"

"BEV, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Bill screamed and stopped the car short. I started cracking up and I felt Bill glaring at me. "We dated for a DAY, so NO, we didn't fuck!"

"Ok Bill, whatever you say," I laughed. "But seriously, did you just out Mike?"

"No, we only dated for a day because he realized he only liked girls. And a while after we broke up, Stan came out. I took the shot and here we are."

Bill smiled to himself and started to drive again.

"You think you're bi?"

"Yeah..." I mumbled, feeling slightly ashamed. "I've always found girls attractive, but I didn't think about it because I was with Ben. I thought it was something everyone did, something I would grow out of. But...I don't know anymore."

I felt a couple tears falling down my cheeks. I kept thinking about how I was hurting Ben.

"Hey," Bill put his hand on my mine and squeezed it tightly. "You're gonna be ok. You love Ben, right?"

I nodded my head quickly.

"Of course!"

"And he loves you, Bev. Even if you're bi or pan or whatever, he'll love you regardless," Bill pulled into my apartment parking lot and turned to me. "I can help you figure it out, ok?"

"O-ok," I let out a shaky sigh and wiped my tears. "You're really awesome, you know that Bill?"

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Bill smirked and got out of the car.

"You're staying here?" I asked and followed him into my apartment.

"Hell yeah! We are getting VERY drunk tonight Bev, m'lady!"

"Fine by me!" I giggled and closed the front door behind us.

•°•

"Ok, ok, ok," I grabbed my wine glass and poured another drink. "So Jewish people have big noses, does that mean EVERYTHING is big?" I winked.

Bill's face flushed and he punched my arm. I started laughing again as he kept slapping me.

"BEVERLY MARSH," he screamed. "Don't go around asking people is they have big dicks! Besides, everyone knows you have the biggest one."

"Oh but of course!" I giggled. "27 inches baby." Bill gasped dramatically.

"M'LADY! That's magnificent!"

"I'm aware," I drank more of my wine and handed the empty glass to Bill. "Now peasant, fetch me more wine!"

"As you wish." Bill hastily ran to get more wine for me, the Queen.

A ringing went through the house. I turned to the phone and answered it.

"Hellooo?"

"Hey Bev, it's Eddie."

"Oh, hello Sir Spaghetti!" I yelled in a cheesy British accent. Bill giggled loudly from across the room.

"You're drunk too..." Eddie muttered sadly. "Nevermind."

"No no no, Eddie. Talk to me," I said, trying to get serious. "Is everything ok?"

"N-no," Eddie started crying. "Richie's drunk...he said some stuff."

"What did he say?" I asked. Eddie stayed silent, but Bill came back over.

"M'lady Dickverly, what seems to be the issue?"

"It's Eddie," I held my hand over the speaker and told Bill. He took the phone from me and put in on speaker.

"Hey Eddie! What's new, Scooby-Doo?"

"N-nothing, can I just t-talk to Bev pl-please?" Eddie whimpered, obviously crying.

"Woah, Eddie wait, are you ok?"

"N-no...can I c-come over?"

"Of course, we're at Bev's. We'll see you soon, ok?"

"O-ok..." Eddie sniffled and hung up.

•°•

"Eddie..." I mumbled and ran to him when he walked through my front door. "You're ok, sweetie... I promise."

"H-he said h-he didn't want to 'd-deal with me', and h-he cursed at me, and he called m-me Edward, a-and I thought he was gonna hurt m-me." Eddie rambled.

"Fuck... Eddie, I'm so sorry. We don't 'deal with you'. We love you." I hugged him, Bill quickly following my lead.

"Everyone would b-be happier if I was g-gone," he whispered, so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"Eddie. Wh-what are you talking a-about...?" Bill pulled away from the hug to look Eddie in the eyes.

"N-nothing," he mumbled. "Forget I s-said anything."

"I already l-let Stan g-go through this alone... I'm here f-for you Eddie, w-we all are." Bill started crying, which just made Eddie sob harder.

"I made a pl-plan," he said with a poker face. "Today w-was the day, but then Stan attempted, a-and it was just too m-much. S-so I called it off. I still have your n-notes, if you want to read them..."

"You were gonna kill yourself?" I asked in shock and terror.

"Yeah. St-still have the noose," he chuckled humorlessly. "I j-just want it all to be over..."

"Eddie, we're not letting that happen. We're here for you. Please, please, don't do anything..." I hugged him again tightly.

"I'll try not to...thank you guys, so much." Eddie smiled softly and rested his head against my shoulder.

I'm going to fucking kill Richard Trashmouth Tozier.