When Connor first transferred to Eastwood, I thought that maybe he was trying to sabotage our school. I mean, why else would someone from Oakland ever come here?

Then I spent more time with him and he seemed to genuinely like Eastwood. I learned more about him as a person and I learned that he changed a lot since becoming my friend.

After everything that we have gone through, I thought that there was nothing else for me to learn about him. Turns out I was wrong about that.

I guess in my head I had just assumed that the reason Connor transferred here, was because of his mom. It never occurred to me that there might be a different reason.

I look over at Connor and he is shaking. I grab one of his hands and lift his chin so that he looks into my eyes.

"Hey, listen. We made a promise to talk to each other about the hard things. Whenever you are ready to talk, I'm here to listen," I say softly.

Connor looks into my eyes for a moment and then looks off to the horizon. He squeezes my hand and then takes a deep breath.

"When my mom left this summer, it was hard. Each of us were taking it in different ways. My dad didn't get out of his bed for almost a month, which left me alone to take care of Jenny. She would ask why mom isn't home anymore and why dad is so sad. I didn't know what to tell her. Do I tell her the truth or spare her?"

Connor takes a shaky breath and I run my thumb along the back of his hand. I give him and encouraging nod to continue.

"It was a lot for me take all at once. At night, the front that I put up, would come down and I was left alone with my emotions. I was angry, sad, embarrassed, confused, and it all became too much for me. I didn't want to feel those things anymore. I didn't want to feel anything," Connor whispers.

I take a deep breath and try to blink away the tears that are stinging my eyes.

"But I couldn't leave them. There was no way I could do that to them. So instead I started hanging out with Tyler and his friends. They were notorious for their ability to help take the feelings away. I started to drink. We would have fun, do crazy things. It was all lighthearted at first, but soon that changed."

Connor now looks a little angry and there is a small scowl on his face.

"They wanted me to try other things. I told them that I just wanted to stick to drinking, I didn't want other drugs in my system. They were fine with that as long as I would go with them to places to help back them up. One night they took me to this party and Tyler got in a fight with this other kid, his name is Luke."

When Connor says that name, something in him snaps and tears start to stream down his face.

"What happened to him?" I ask carefully.

"Tyler was beating him up badly. Caleb joined in with him and they were kicking and punching him, he ended up in the emergency room. And you want to know what I did? Absolutely nothing," Connor confesses with defeat.

"Connor, you can't hold that against yourself forever. You didn't join them," I say quietly.

"But I didn't stop them, and I think that is so much worse," Connor mutters.

We sit in silence for a moment and I try to think of something good to say. But everything I come up with would just make everything worse.

"Luke turned out okay. He was in the hospital for a while, but they fixed him up. He won't be able to play hockey though, which is a shame because he was really good. He moved away before the start of the school year, his parents didn't want him anywhere near Tyler and the rest of them. Tyler and Caleb didn't get charged with anything, which I still don't understand," Connor sighs.

I get a little upset by that, but quickly regain my composure. I think about everything that Connor has told me so far and realize there is still something that he hasn't answered.

"So why did you transfer? You didn't transfer here at the start of the school year, we were a month in before you came here," I question.

Connor takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before continuing.

"After the incident with Luke, I hated myself. I was drinking even more and one night I came home drunk. Luckily, Jenny wasn't home that night, but my dad was. The look on his face when he saw me..." Connor shakes his head.

"He was so disappointed in me. I never wanted to see him look at me that way again. So I sobered up, but my dad didn't think that would be good enough. He somewhat knew about Tyler and he didn't want me to spend anymore time with him. So he decided that it would be best for me to transfer to Eastwood. And honestly, I was relieved. Transferring to Eastwood has been one of the best things to ever happen to me," Connor smiles.

When I see the smile on his face, I can't help but return it. I gently squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine in return.

"I think that was very brave of you," I say.

"What was?"

"Telling me that story. You didn't have to tell me any of that, but you did. That took a lot of guts, and I'm really proud of you," I answer.

Connor looks at me curiously. "How can you look at me the same way? After everything I just told you?"

I look off into the distance and take a moment to collect my thoughts and think of a proper response.

"After everything you just told me, you are still my Sunshine. You made a mistake, it happens to all of us. But you were able to take your mistake and turn it into something great. I didn't know you before you transferred here, but I know you now. And I like you just the way you are."

Connor looks at me with a soft smile and a single tear rolls down his face. I gently lift my hand to his cheek and I graze my thumb across it to wipe away the tear.

My hand lingers on his face and we look into each others eyes. His green eyes seem to have specks of gold in them, making them shine.

His lips part and I can feel myself moving towards him. He glances down at my lips and then blinks rapidly, breaking the trance.

He breathes in sharply and then turns away from me. I drop my hand from his face and look down at my lap.

I try to think of something to say to clear the air of whatever just happened between us.

"I'm hungry," I state.

Connor looks at me, confused, but there is now humor in his eyes. "You're hungry?"

I sigh. "Yes I am. Lucky for you, I know the perfect place to go.'

I jump up from the bench and extend my hand out to him. "Want to come?"

He stares at my hand for a moment and then slowly grabs on. I pull him up from the bench and lead him towards my car.

I hop into the front seat and he nervously sits in the passenger seat.

"Relax Sunshine. You're gonna love it."

***

I pull into the parking lot of Shelly's Diner and grin at Connor while I park.

"Have you ever been here?" I ask.

"I can't say that I have," Connor says looking at the sign.

"Well come on then," I say as I get out of the car.

We walk up to the doors and when we open them, I am overwhelmed by the delicious smells. This place is a classic diner with the checkered floors and the red leather seats. The place isn't too busy so we find a place at a booth and sit down across from each other.

A middleage waitress quickly comes up to our table with a bright smile on her face.

"Welcome to Shelly's. Is there something I can get for you two right away?" She asks sweetly.

"I'll have a chocolate milkshake," I answer.

The waitress nods her head and writes it down. She turns to Connor and he glances at me, stressed by the sudden pressure.

"I'll have a uh- strawberry milkshake?"

The waitress smiles and writes it down before walking away to the counter.

"Strawberry, interesting," I muse.

"What's wrong with strawberry?" Connor asks defensively.

"Nothing's wrong with strawberry. I just thought that you would be a vanilla kind of guy."

Connor scowls at me. "Now what is that supposed to mean?"

I laugh. "It's nothing bad. I just thought that you would go for something simple. I don't know, it just seemed like something you would get."

"So you think I'm simple? Boring even?" Connor questions.

"Trust me Sunshine, you are anything but boring," I grin.

Connor looks into my eyes and I can see something in his that I can't quite place. After a couple of seconds he glances away and starts looking around the diner.

"So does the friend group come here a lot? How come we haven't been here before?" Connor asks.

"No, they don't know about it. At least I don't think they do. My parents used to take Greyson and I here on weekends when we were younger. They would buy each of us a milkshake and they would get a banana split sundae for them to share," I smile, thinking back to those memories.

"Sounds like a good time," Connor says quietly, thinking to himself.

I nod as the waitress brings our milkshakes to the table.

"Here you go. One chocolate milkshake and one strawberry. Is there anything else I can get for you cuties?"

"I'll have a cheeseburger with a side of fries," I respond.

"I'll have the same thing as her," Connor answers.

"Alright, two cheeseburgers with sides of fries. I'll get that to you guys shortly," she smiles.

We each take a sip of our milkshakes and a smile spreads across my face when I taste it. I watch as Connor tries his and can tell that he likes it by the glint in his eyes.

"You know what I just realized Sunshine?" I ask.

He looks up from his milkshake with a curious gaze. "What's that?"

"I know almost nothing about you," I answer.

He looks at me with his mouth open and shock on his face. "I just told you my darkest secrets, not even an hour ago. What do you mean, you know nothing about me?"

I roll my eyes. "Of course I know about your personal struggles. But I don't know all the fun little details about you. The small things that make you who you are."

Connor takes a sip. "So what do you want to know?"

I think for a moment while drinking my milkshake. "What's your favorite color?"

He thinks for a moment, "Yellow. What's yours?"

"I have always said that blue was my favorite color. Recently I've taken a liking to green," I answer softly.

Connor nods with a small smirk on his face. "Do I get to ask the question now?"

I sigh, "I guess so."

"Favorite animal?"

I smile, "A giraffe. What's yours?"

"Polar bears. I think they are really cool," Connor responds.

I take a sip of my milkshake and try to come up with another question to ask him.

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?"

Connor thinks on this one for a while. "Italy. They have great food, it's beautiful there, and there is a lot of history."

I quickly look up at him when he answers. "No way. That's where I want to go too."

A grin spreads across his face. "I guess we'll just have to go together one day Superstar."

I nod and smile shyly back at him. Connor is about to say something when the waitress comes to our table with our plates of food.

"Enjoy your food," she says as she puts our plates down. We thank her and start digging into our food.

"This is amazing," I moan.

Connor nods and takes another bite of his burger. The two of us go into a comfortable silence as we eat our food. After we settle down and stop eating like we haven't seen food in days, we go back to our little game.

"What is one of your irrational fears?" Connor asks.

"My irrational fears? Not a serious one?" I ask curiously.

"I think it's more interesting to know the irrational ones," Connor answers.

"I'm scared of thunderstorms," I finally answer after taking a while to think.

Connor looks at me and his expression softens. "Jenny's scared of them too."

I nod and finish eating my burger. "So what's your irrational fear?"

"Heights. I do not like them at all," he shudders.

I give a small laugh. "The fear of heights, it's a classic one."

"Yeah well being scared of thunderstorms isn't too unique either," Connor scoffs.

My mouth gapes open and I shake my head in amusement. "I can't believe you said that."

Connor laughs and I can feel my body warm just by the sound of it. I start finishing the rest of my fries and notice that Connor's plate is now empty.

"Alright, one more round for each of us. It's my turn," I say.

Connor nods and drinks his milkshake. I try to think of a really good question, seeing as it is my last one.

"If you could go back in time to change something, would you?"

Connor brings his head up from the straw and looks down at his hands. He fidgets with them for a moment and then looks back up at me.

"No. I wouldn't go back. Would you?"

I sigh. "No I wouldn't. I think that everything happens for a reason and I like my life just the way it is."

Connor smiles softly and then his eyebrows furrow, as he goes into thought.

"For my last question, I don't think that I'll answer it for myself," he says.

"That kind of defeats the purpose of the game, but alright," I grin and watch as Connor remains serious.

"Did you really mean it when you said you liked me how I am now?" he asks quietly.

"Of course I meant it. Connor, I didn't know you when you went to Oakland, but I know you now. The guy that is sitting right in front of me is one of the best people I know. Don't ever doubt that," I answer softly.

Connor nods and seems somewhat happy with my answer. We finish off our milkshakes and head up to the register to pay the bill. The waitress smiles when she sees the two of us.

"How did you two enjoy your date?" she asks.

I feel my face grow warm and look over at Connor to see that his cheeks are a little pink as well.

"Oh, we weren't on a date. We're just friends," I say.

The waitress looks at us with raised eyebrows and then gives a small laugh. She accepts our money and she shakes her head with a smile on her face as she watches us leave.

On the drive back to Eastwood, Connor and I talk about random things and I can't help but think of everything that has happened between us today.

I learned a lot about him today. His past and the parts of his life that he regrets, along with little things that mean a lot more to me.

As we are driving I smile as I think about everything I know about him.

And all the little things I have yet to learn.

***

Thank you so much for reading!

This is probably one of my favorite chapters that I have written so far. I just think that Nova and Connor are the cutest. What do you think their ship name should be? Comment and let me know!

I love you all so much!❤️