Let's get straight to it, 

aye?

    Have you ever seen a movie or tv show that just had a profound impact on you? It could be the entire film or series, but I bet you can pin-point that exact moment that hooked you on.

   What was it?

   I bet it was your favorite character doing something and then following it up with an epic quote that just spoke to you and shook your entire world.

    I know that's happened to me plenty of times. When I think of effective dialogue + quoting, I always think of this scene from one of my favorite tv shows of all time:

So here, House is shouting at Taub. The interaction is easy to spot as it's between two people. 

   Can you imagine how ineffective this scene would be if say House wasn't looking at Taub, and if the room had other participants?

   You'd be a bit lost thinking about who he was talking to. Writing is very similar. Always, always address the people in the story. If you don't, viewer engagement is lost.

   Here's an example of a common mistake many do that can easily be corrected:

FIRST PARAGRAPH READS: 

The show went "great", and what Cadence meant by great was flips and dives that she used to do. Might as well, the best chants from the humorous crowd. Of course, victory and event led them to the bar that Candice had suggested. That suggestion ended up with Zack and Candence dancing while talking about their topic.

    ↠ FIRSTLY, in this first paragraph we can establish that thus far, the characters involved are Zack and Candence (I'm going to guess that you meant Candence instead of Candice. If you meant Candice LeRae, definitely always put a last name to a character that isn't commonly present in the story or chapter). 

SECOND PARAGRAPH READS:

"Why the hell do you think that she's a snob? Are you fuckin' kidding me, Sabre?" She yelled over the loud crowd as Zack shook his head. "You are literally acting so innocent right now. Tell me how not to be a cocky prick like your tag team partner." He shrugged as he responded.

  ↠ SECONDLY, a conversation between Candence and Zack is established. Okay, this is good. 

  ↠  A small pointer I have when it comes to characters having a conversation in a specific area (here the bar that Candence chose) is that details are crucial! Building upon the area's description adds to the conversation. Is the bar dark and loud? 

   Yes, in this particular paragraph we're told Candence has to yell because of the loud crowd, but how does she or Zack feel about that?

 Is their any music playing? Are there drunk people around? How do the characters feel about this? Is it their natural environment, and if not, choose your verbs and adjectives wisely when they're speaking. 

 ↠ ↠  Let's focus on this sentence in the second paragraph "Tell me how not to be a cocky prick like your tag team partner." He shrugged as he responded.

   The words in bold are what need improvement. As the reader of this story, I know who Candence's tag team partner is, but sometimes people forget. That or, they have to think about it and that right there is an issue because it disrupts the flow of the story. You want your readers to be able to smoothly read through paragraphs.

   So to improve it, put the tag team partner's name. ↠ "Tell me how to not be a cocky prick like your tag team partner, Marty." 

↠ ↠ He shrugged as he responded. The problem with that sentence is that it's too repetitive. Try your best not to overuse pronouns.

   Instead, address the character by his name. "Zack shrugged as he responded" or "Zack responded with a shrug." 

   3rd + 4th PARAGRAPHS READS:

"Well, I have a pretty different way to grab her attention," she nodded as he continued. Her eyes grew wide when he heard something that-"I never told anyone or everyone that she's a shagging material and that I shag her because she wants me to. I'm a nice person."

+

"Wait, I'm sorry, WHAT?!" She yelled loudly in disbelief. "Did Marty said that to you? Ever? Despite the crowd, Zack could hear her voice ringing though it wasn't that loud as he nodded.

    ↠ "Well, I have a pretty different way to grab her attention" she nodded as he continued. So here we can pretty easily infer that it's Zack and Candence talking. 

   The next sentence gets pretty confusing because of the "he heard something that" and then it cuts to a quote. Who heard something? Zack? If so, state his name. If something caught his attention, put that transition in there instead of just abruptly cutting it off. 

EXAMPLE

↠ "Her eyes grew wide when the Zack heard something from a familiar / distinct voice that made him speechless - (insert quote here) "I never told anyone or everyone that she's a shagging material and that I shag her because she wants me. I'm a nice person."

↠  TIP: DON'T CONTRADICT YOUR ADJECTIVES / SCENARIO DESCRIPTION.

4th paragraph:

  "Wait, I'm sorry, WHAT?!" She yelled loudly in disbelief. "Did Marty said that to you? Ever? Despite the crowd, Zack could hear her voice ringing though it wasn't that loud as he nodded.  

2nd paragraph: 

  "Why the hell do you think that she's a snob? Are you fuckin' kidding me, Sabre?" She yelled over the loud crowd as Zack shook his head.  

   If it was loud at the beginning, keep it that way. If that's to change, let the reader know. Did the music lower down? Did they change the song? Did they move to a more quiet area?

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QUOTING ↠ Remember, always address who is saying what, and who is saying what to who. 

DIALOGUE ↠  Don't try too hard. Have you ever watched a tv show were the lines seemed so forced? Ex) Roman Reigns calling Sheamus a tatter tot. 

   Don't try too hard to sound cool. Just write what you feel sound natural for your character to say. If you know who your character is, this shouldn't be too hard.

   If you're borrowing lines from a tv show or movie, freaking credit that and don't take it as your own. 

   ↠ or, if someone asks you about it, state where it truly came from.

   The last thing I want to point out is this:

  "Did Marty said that to you? Ever? Despite the crowd, Zack could hear her voice ringing though it wasn't that loud as he nodded.    

   It's say, not said.

   However, I'd like to take this opportunity to let you all know that there's so many words that can substitute the ever so mundane said. It's not bad to use said, but if you use it over and over again, it gets repetitive and boring.

   Don't do that.

   You can google and easily find replacements for that word, but here's a chart from my favorite website (spwickstrom.com)

Take a screen shot and I hope these come in handy to you all ^.^

↠  Well, that concludes this chapter. If there's anything you'd like tips on or need help with, please let me know! ^.^ 

↠ While you're at it, go give elitesqueen- Marty Scurll fanfiction titled, The Villainous Revenge a read.  We're both writers that love the feed back.