Why are my readers falling like swatted flies? (AKA How to ensure your reader doesn't give up reading your book during the first chapter.)

Some people say you have to grab your reader in the first ten pages, some the first five. But the truth is, every sentence and every paragraph count. The first few pages of your story are like trying to get your reader to walk with you through a doorway. They've already seen what the door looks like from a distance - the cover, the blurb, word-of-mouth, reviews. They've decided they want a closer look; they've decided to read the first page.

Imagine your reader cracking (or clicking) open that first page. They're standing on the threshold. They're peering forward to see what lies beyond. Bubble gum, cherry lipstick, an old-fashioned dresser with magical writing swirling to life. A dark passage lit by oil lanterns and a running boy in rags. A battered pirate ship with torn sails, capsizing. Whatever you are showing them at this moment is crucial. You are setting up your readers expectations of the kind of world they are going to enter and you are making them a promise of the sort of journey you're going to take them on.

Now, I'm not talking about starting your book with description, though that may be an important part of setting the mood. I'm talking about the internal world of you main character. What does your main character want? What is their inner landscape like? What are they lacking? And what sort of journey is going to lie ahead of them?

Personally, in my own writing, I've found that it is the opening chapter or chapters that often face the most change when revising. I've found it's difficult to know how and where to start my own stories without having written a first draft. Knowing how your story is going to end, how your character is going to change, or how the world with change because of them, is essential to hacking out the territory of where to begin. If you don't know your main character as well as your best friend yet, it's pretty hard to decide what your reader does and doesn't need to know as you're balancing the action, tension, backstory, dialogue and description in those first few pages.

For anyone who's wondering how to start their story, if this is your first draft, I'd suggest just getting down whatever you can. Don't look back! Brainstorm until you feel excited about writing the opening pages and once they're down, keep going. If you've written a first draft and you're starting to revise, these are some things to think about:

What is the mood and tone of my book? Light-hearted, comic, lyrical, romantic, magical, dangerous, fast-paced, high-tension danger, mysterious.

What does my main character most want?

What is holding back my main character from getting what they want? (If this, at least in part, is some aspect of their own personality, it will help layer up the tension.)

What is the event that's going to propel them into a new world/ journey/ line of action? When does it appear in your book? (There are exceptions to every rule, but if it doesn't happen before the end of the second chapter, you may want to check that everything that comes before is really necessary.)

A great way to think about all this, can be to write your pitch if you haven't already. Once you've got a pitch that is enticing readers, think about what you're promising them and how you're pitch is guiding their expectations.

(For more on writing your pitch, check out the next chapter, 'Is your pitch sitting around on its backside?')

Here's an example to show you what I mean:

The Blurb for WICKED LOVELY by Melissa Marr:

Rule #3: Don't stare at invisible faeries.

Aislinn has always seen faeries. Powerful and dangerous, they walk hidden in the mortal world. Aislinn fears their cruelty - especially if they learn of her Sight - and wishes she were as blind to their presence as other teens.

Rule #2: Don't speak to invisible faeries.

Now faeries are stalking her. One of them, Keenan, who is equal parts terrifying and alluring, is trying to talk to her, asking questions Aislinn is afraid to answer.

Rule #1: Don't ever attract their attention.

But it's too late. Keenan is the Summer King, who has sought his queen for nine centuries. Without her, summer itself will perish. He is determined that Aislinn will become the Summer Queen at any cost - regardless of her plans or desires.

Suddenly none of the rules that have kept Aislinn safe are working anymore, and everything is on the line: her freedom; her best friend, Seth; her life; everything.

Now let's pull this apart. The blurb holds three promises to the reader:

1. Aislinn can see powerful, dangerous faeries and to protect herself, has always pretended she can't.

2. There is a beautiful faerie boy, Keenan, who wants to talk to Aisliin.

3. Keenan wants Aislinn to become his summer queen, no matter the cost.

(As well as the more obvious elements it's stating about genre.)

Just from looking at this well constructed pitch, we can tell how the writer would need to frame the story to give the reader what they're expecting. I would expect to meet these faeries in the first five pages, I'd expect to see some indication of how they are powerful and threatening. I would expect Aisliin to struggle with trying to ignore Keenan. And I would expect Keenan to be dangerous and irresistible.

All these expectations and more are met in the first ten pages of Wicked Lovely. If you haven't read it you could check out the free sample pages on Amazon to see what I'm talking about.

Your pitch/ blurb may reveal events much further into your story than your first two or three chapters. Depending on the style, length and genre of your book, plot points may be included that don't even happen until a hundred pages in. (For example, the raiders who take Sorcha captive in the YA fantasy, DAUGHTER OF THE FOREST by Juliet Marillier are mentioned in the blurb, but do not appear until page 220. However, this book is 540 pages. It is a sweeping, historical fantasy with many threads and layers.)

So what you're really looking for is the tone, genre and reader expectations you've created in your pitch, and how you're meeting these expectations in your first two chapters. Say your pitch is about a girl faking being a geek because she doesn't want anyone to know her Dad is the star of a national soap opera, and then the sexy, hot school rebel gets employed as her Dad's weekend chauffer, you don't want to start your first chapter with this girl leaving high school with a group of cool friends. You need to show her faking being a geek. You need to give the reader some clues about how she feels about this: Is it frustrating? Does she long to be with the cool crowd. Does she despise them? Does she despise her geek friends? Does she have any friends? Why would it be so embarrassing for everyone to know her Dad is a soap opera star? Or maybe she doesn't think it's embarrassing. Maybe she knows from experience that with a famous, gorgeous Dad, you can't trust that anyone is really your friend.

So if your looking at revising your opening chapter think about what you're pitch or blurb is promising the reader and then make sure you deliver. If you're writing a first draft, and the pages are rolling out with ease, it's probably better not to worry about this for now. If you writing your first draft and you're feeling a little stuck or have lost some of that earlier enthusiasm, writing your blurb can be a great way of focusing your work.

Got a question? Post it up in the comments and I'll answer it ASAP.

Did you find this helpful? If so, please show your support by clicking the little VOTE button to the left of your screen!