Chapter 2: Yeet

"Chanyeol wait up!" Baekhyun yelled, packing up his backpack.

He ran up to Chanyeol but then Chanyeol turned around and grabbed his shoulders, kissing him on the lips.

Baekhyun flushed a deep red before Chanyeol suddenly said: "I like Kyungsoo."

"Uh—"

"Meet my new boyfriend Kyungsoo," he introduced and Kyungsoo stepped out from behind the pole two feet away.

"Didn't you just—"

And then a car ran over Baekhyun, the driver inside completely inebriated.

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol exclaimed, running up to his best friend, his lover. "Oh my god what have I done! If only I wasn't an idiot and dated Kyungsoo like that!"

Baekhyun spluttered out blood as Chanyeol lifted up his torso and held him semi upright. 

"I love you Baekhyun I'm sorry," Chanyeol apologized, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Where the fuck did that car come from and how the hell did you suddenly get feelings for me in .2 seconds," Baekhyun said, his voice weak as Chanyeol brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Baekhyun, I should've appreciated you more when you were mine. And now I'm going to lose you and I'll regret my entire life."

"I'm not even dead yet in fact I think this isn't even a bad car crash—"

The line went dead and Baekhyun died in Chanyeol's arms.

—

Y'all I'm wheezing what did I just write

But anyway.

Baekhyun's words are what I am thinking whenever I read a scene like... that ^^^

Time is very, very important in stories.

There are flashbacks, foreshadowing, the dragging out of a scene—idk how to explain that one but I do know there's a specific word in French that explains when authors do that for extra effect—there is the skipping of specific and boring scenes, la téléscopage which in english is basically recounting a scene that happened at the same time as another scene that you've already talked about...

There are many tools to make a story more dynamic, so uSE THEM

If you get the timing in your story wrong, I promise it is going to be really weird.

It's difficult to make a story flow correctly but as long as you put effort into it then no one will see anything wrong with it... Unlike the little story I made up there.

Be descriptive. But not too descriptive.

In between dialogue, make sure to mention sometimes what your characters are doing. If it's constantly a back and forth talk between two characters with no indication of what they're doing outside of their conversation, it get's really difficult to follow. Everything seems like it passes way too quickly and you lose your readers in their conversation.

Example:

"Hey," Chanyeol said.

"How's it going?" Baekhyun asked.

"Very good, I had pizza yesterday," he stated.

"Aw lucky, Sehun stole my dildo and I had to use a cucumber." Baekhyun pouted.

"Want me to go punch him?" Chanyeol suggested.

"No, it's okay. I got the same results anyway, even though it was a little uncomfortable," he answered.

"Wanna hop on this dick?" Chanyeol questioned.

"Maybe. I thought you were straight tho," Baekhyun commented.

"No homo bro," Chanyeol winked.

"Nice," Baekhyun grinned.

- and Imma stop writing there

See how awkward that was? Everything was just dull and it's just so back and forth that you kinda get lost. Now it might not have seemed dull because I used different adjectives for their speech, but even so it just seemed kinda wrong. The grammar and words used were nice but it's just missing that timing. We don't get much insight as to what else is happening throughout this conversation.

This kind of format could be used during a childish fight in your book, for example if Baekhyun wants the remote and Chanyeol's yelling at him or something.

"I got it first!" Baekhyun exclaimed.

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did, that's why it's in my hands right now!"

"You literally took it out of my hands!"

And then you'd proceed to describe what is going on.

If you take away details from one place you can put it in another, like explaining what's happening in a scene before it happens is okay too, or after.

Now let's fix up earlier's scene and see how that goes lmao.

"Hey," Chanyeol said.

"How's it going?" Baekhyun asked, a friendly smile on his face. He hadn't expected Chanyeol to approach him after he accidentally spilled his chocolate milk on him.

"Very good, I had pizza yesterday," he stated, pulling out the chair from the cafeteria table.

Setting his lunch tray down, he sat across from Baekhyun, just now starting to eat even when lunch was nearly finished. He would've gone to eat earlier but he had badminton practice.

"Aw lucky, Sehun stole my dildo and I had to use a cucumber." Baekhyun pouted.

"Want me to go punch him?" Chanyeol suggested, holding back a chuckle from the absurdity of Baekhyun's words. The brunet was strangely forward.

"No, it's okay. I got the same results anyway, even though it was a little uncomfortable," he answered, poking at his salad.

"Wanna hop on this dick?" Chanyeol questioned.

Baekhyun's eyes widened at the phrase, though he wasn't bothered in any way. After a moment of collecting himself, he answered, "Maybe. But I thought you were straight."

"No homo bro," Chanyeol winked.

"Nice," Baekhyun grinned.

Voila. Much better. Of course this isn't my greatest work but uh yeah

See how I left some part plain while I added words to other parts?? This is kinda what I mean by being descriptive but not too descriptive.

Sometimes adding too much is going to drown your readers in info and they're just sitting there like ._.

I feel like one of those over exaggerated Instagram videos where it's like "don't" (insert video of stickman drawing) "do" (insert video of some 10-year artist drawing a sculpture of Louis XIV with different shades, angles, and colours)

But this isn't that hard though. If you're confused about how much info to put, read your work out loud. Reading it out loud always points to the awkward areas in your story, and after a while of just generally writing, you kinda get a feel for what's too little and too much.

And in regards to the first little story I wrote on this chapter... Think about real life time. Would someone really kiss another person and then introduce a boyfriend?

Of course you could skip the scenes in between but you have to indicate that. Your readers can't assume what you're trying to say.

Some scenes that I've read are just so unrealistic with their timing and it makes everything frankly worse than what it could've been.

No one falls in love in a day. And if they do, explain why. Don't leave your readers in the dark. This could be a love at first sight thing if you actually say that it is.

Fanfictions are for having fun with writing. It's fiction, but you have to try and make it seem somewhat realistic, unless you add a specific effect to your au where everyone in the world lives their life really quickly and feels things that are intense (hey a new story plot). Reminder that you are writing about real people in a real world, and if you want to change some of that then you can, only if you let people know that it's changed. Again, no one can read your thoughts through a screen.

Think about it realistically.

Would someone who just developed cancer die in two days? Maybe. If you search for the right type of cancer and explain it. (Idk how many times I've used the word explain keke.)

Would someone who just fell in love get over their love the next day? Maybe. If it was just infatuation and you eXplAined thAt.

Would Chanyeol hate Baekhyun's guts yesterday and then suddenly love him today? MaYbE, iF hE cOmes tO a ReVelaTion anD rEaliZes bAek is mEant for hiM

Moral of the story: timing is very important,
detail is also very important, too much or too little of either is going to make everything weird, think about it realistically, and TELL YOUR READERS.

ur -10 writer is oot.