I eyed Adam as his gaze was fixated on the book in front of him, his eyebrows scrunched up and his hand constantly reaching up to scratch the side of his head.

He never really minded whenever I show up at his door unannounced. It was so common that he once joked that he was on the verge of giving me a key. Best believe that I shot that idea down in an instant.

Going too fast there, partner.

"Are you sure that you're okay that I'm here?" I questioned, catching his attention and breaking his concentration, "I can leave so you can focus, you know."

"I'm sure that I could be alone in a cabin on top of a cliff and I still wouldn't be able to understand this lesson," he chuckled, bookmarking the page he was on with a pencil before shutting the book close, "I'm exhausted."

Glancing towards the blinking cursor on the laptop screen, I quite agreed with him. During the whole time he was studying, I was trying to keep up with my writing because the timeline gap between the sketchbook and the parts that I've actually written was growing too big.

So while he was trying to cram as many information in his head, I grinded chapter after chapter just to catch up. Even though I was the one who worried about him being distracted, I was the one completely out of focus.

Let me tell you something – he was adorable just looking completely confused in front of his book. He even had this habit of picking up his pencil, taping the eraser end on the table, and then releasing it. Instead of going back to reading, he would simply watch the pencil roll until it hit another object. He did it every few minutes or so.

"You want to go out then?" I suggested, "Let's grab a bit to eat or something."

His face lit up in the best way possible, just the prospect of being away from his apartment seemed like the most attractive idea I have thrown his way. He nodded happily, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement. I do admit that we haven't been really going out in technical terms. We just knew that we were together but dates were possibly non-existent because of how busy we both were.

"Alright, let me just finish this chapter and then let's go," he said, a new kind of motivation igniting within him as he opened his book once again.

I suppressed a laugh because even though he wanted nothing more but to escape, he was still the responsible kind.

Couldn't say the same for me.

I switched windows after I saved my document because I felt like I was going to be burned out if I kept going. I instead starting messaging my friends through our group chat, catching up with the happenings. For once, all of us were awake and actually online at the same time.

Reaching out for the glass of water Adam gave to me earlier, I chuckled along through the conversation. However, that cheerfulness was short-lived when one of them sent one particular picture.

You know Justin and I go to the same college, right?

Yeah, what happened?

So there's this girl that I know through another friend and she posted this on her story.

Right there on my screen was a photograph of Justin and his female companion all cozied up. He had her arm around her and she had face nuzzled by his neck, both of them smiling happily at the camera. There was a sticker of a heart at the upper right corner and nothing else. Both of them were obviously intoxicated, it was obvious from the faraway look in their eyes.

But that did not discount the fact that he found someone.

Well, this was interesting.

Sienna, the drama!

I leaned back and rolled my eyes, as if they were standing right in front of me. If they were expecting to solicit a violent reaction from me, then they were about to be gravely disappointed. Sure, I was surprised but I wasn't going to enter a jealous fit because of this.

I was completely secure right now.

Internally smirking, I reached for my phone and subtly pointed it towards the guy right across from me. All of his attention was still on the book and I believe that I can freaking clang a gong and he still wouldn't look up.

So I made sure he was focused and the tapped on the circle at the bottom of the screen. It made a slight shutter sound but thankfully, my suspicions were correct – he was still focused on his studying.

I sent the photo to the group chat and paused to watch the show because while they did not get a reaction from me, I certainly got one from them.

Holy shit.

Wait, are you in his house?

Damn you're smooth, Sienna.

He really is cute, I'm jealous.

Sweet, sweet victory.

"If you're going to take a picture of me, at least say so," he suddenly chuckled, glancing up from the text. There was an amused smile on his lips while I looked like I was a dear caught in the headlights.

I dropped my phone on the table and looked down bashfully, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Still, this was Adam we were talking about, he wouldn't get upset over something like, "Come here, I'm going to show you something."

I was in no position to argue so I quickly stood up and rounded the table. Once I was in arms-length, he grinned in satisfaction and pulled me right towards him, situating me right on his lap.

He was not good for my poor heart.

I was so shocked that I couldn't even move but when he saw my face, he started laughing and embraced me tighter, resting his forehead on my shoulder, "I just need to recharge."

My mouth clamped shut but still, the nervousness was flushed away and it was replaced by a surge of affection. I gently touched his linked hands with the tips of my fingers to pry them apart. Lifting one of them, I placed a soothing kiss on his palm, fighting back a smile when he hummed contentedly.

Why would I be jealous if I had someone like him giving me all his attention?

"Come on, let's go out," I said and he shook his head, resuming his initial position with his hands firmly around my waist.

And finally, I fully grinned, leaning back and forcing his head to look up at me.

I like him, I like him so much.

I can no longer contain the giddiness that have erupted in my stomach since he pulled me to our current position. His tingling laughter erupted from his mouth at my change of demeanor and I stopped it by daringly pressing my lips against his.

And I poured everything into that kiss. It was for New Year's when the both of us had no other choice but to stand in the middle of a room filled with people locking lips for good luck, because the person we want to be with was miles away. It was the grand hello none of us managed to say because Heart Valentine thought it would be spectacular to give me that intimidating glare of hers. It was the assurance that what we currently have was perfect.

For now, I was his and he was mine.

Maybe I should stop thinking about the future for the time being.

When we pulled back, he had this literal beaming smile that was so contagious. He unraveled his linked hands and hooked one of his arms by the crook of my knees while his other one supported my upper body. He lifted me up and just circled around, causing me to squeal in utter delight.

These were the moments that you truly wanted to ingrain in your memory. It was just the innocence and good natured feel of two people foolishly falling for each other. They both knew there was world out there filled with things that was bound to be the cause of great stress but inside this apartment, to the sound of nothing, our giggles mingled with the air and it was just truly us against everything else.

It was cheesy, it was straight out of the romance books, but it was the way I wanted it to be.

He gently placed me down on the ground but I still had my arms wrapped around his neck, breathless with the residual laughter, "Now can we go? I'm starving."

"Of course," he said, kissing me once more before finally letting go, "The usual?"

"The usual," I confirmed, allowing him to lead me out.

...

"Oh cut the bullshit, Sienna," Gracie mercilessly cursed at me and I had to flinch at the raw frustration it resonated.

This was the rare time that it was just us video calling without the others. There was a reason why I kept her close to me – she was straight to the point and no nonsense.

Exactly what I needed since I just loved beating around the bush most of the time.

"You broke up with Justin because you said that you both wanted to grow more as people since you overheard some of his classmates saying that you were holding him back, because you couldn't balance out his recklessness since you were free-spirited as well," she recalled and I glared at her through the screen. I did not need her reminding me the specific reason after I've repressed it from my own memory, "And okay, you're still growing but now you're with another man?"

"I never said that I wasn't going to date anybody else," I huffed, thanking the heavens that Julia was out and Meg had to stay late at the library because she had a project with a partner. If they were here, they would have already hear this whole conversation, "What did you expect me to do?"

She tugged on the ends of her blonde hair, "You're fooling yourself! You like him because he's safe and convenient."

I gasped, "That's not true and you know it."

"I've known you since we were in diapers and you were trying to freaking steal my pacifier," she pointed out with a lifted brow, "You still love Justin."

If she was expecting me to put up a fight and deny everything then she was wrong, "Yeah, and so?"

I still loved Justin and what was wrong with that? I think we've both established than no matter how far we grow apart, we would still love each other. Just because I did, doesn't mean that I couldn't like anybody else or that he was not allowed to be with other girls. It was alright because while we do still immensely care for one another, we were not together anymore.

Her gaze softened, the fierceness in them gone, "You're going to get hurt, Lili."

And of course she was going to pull out my old nickname. When we were young, I had such a hard time pronouncing Sienna so my parents called me Lili instead, out of my middle name Elizabeth. Of course, it didn't stick once I actually learned to say my name but Gracie still used it as a tactic in order to put down my walls.

Please, even my family didn't use it.

But she still got me, because my heart sank when she said it out loud. I casted my gaze downwards because I couldn't even look at her face properly without tearing up even just a little, "I know."

From the start, I was prepared to be. But what else could I do? Feel sorry for myself and repel against any other kind of relationship?

Adam offered me something and I took it. I genuinely do have feelings for him so it wasn't like I was forcing myself.

"Fine," she muttered, "But at least don't hurt him."

If I left him or never even gave him a chance, he would have been so downtrodden. You heard what he said to me in his kitchen and like I said, I needed him as much he needed me.

That wasn't bad, right?

Right?

Please tell me I'm right.

"Gracie," I murmured, still not looking up, "I want to fall in love with him."

But I've always felt that there was something holding me back.

"You know that's not something you can force," she sighed, her tone filled with empathy, "But if you want to give up, I'll be on the first flight there to be a shoulder to cry on."

My gaze snapped upwards and I saw her sad smile. That was when I knew she was sincere and that was when I also knew that she didn't believe that I could actually do it.

---------------

This chapter was brought to you by a perfect balance of cutesy and heartbreak. You're welcome.

I hope you're all keeping safe over there.

We're going to end this chapter on forty-ish chapters so...

Question: Should I go to three chapters a week or still two? I feel like it will end too fast if we go three but if you guys are up for it, I can do it.

Thank you for reading and don't forget to comment and vote. I shall see you all next chapter.