Gerard's POV

Gerard, I'm so sorry for everything. I never meant any of it. The truth is, Axl was being a bitch that day and I really just wasn't in the mood to deal with anything else. I'll talk with you about anything, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. Please don't be upset. I'm so sorry. I'll be back later.
xofrnk

I really didn't know how to take that letter in. Was Frank really sorry, or was he just intimidated by Corey? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Corey was a very menacing person.

I wanted to have hope though. Frank said he would be back, so I had to trust him. After all, that seemed to be what he wanted from me.

That was the 51st letter. Ever since the 50th letter, Frank had stopped writing to me. I couldn't help but wonder if we would continue this or just stop. I kind of wanted it to keep going.

Maybe that could be the way we expressed very personal things? Perhaps if we were too scared to face each other about certain things, we could just keep writing back and forth to each other and talk about things when we were ready. I liked that idea.

It was also pretty lucky that I actually saw the letter in the supply closet. I had stopped checking by habit, but thanks to my keen attention to detail, I caught a glimpse of the paper on my way back to the dorm after going to the bathroom.

It seemed likely that Frank would check back here to see if I had gotten the letter, so with that in mind, I got out a piece of paper and a pen. I needed to tell him about what I was feeling.

Hi Frank. You don't have to apologize. I should've just told you what was wrong. I know that now. I was worried about where you were going, but I didn't want to tell you that, because I was worried that I would come off as clingy. The truth is, you're the first person I've ever allowed myself to get this close to. I was so afraid of losing you over something so dumb, but I guess I kind of did that anyway. I'm sorry. I'll try to trust you more in the future.
~Gerard

That's all I was going to say to him for now. I know Corey said that I didn't owe him an apology, but I couldn't help but feel like I was the problem here. I said sorry anyway, just in case that's what Frank was expecting from me.

I had changed so much all because of one person. When I entered college, I had completely stopped giving a shit about what anyone thought about me. I was only now bringing back old habits because of Frank.

Although I guess I didn't care what anyone else thought of me. I was only trying to be my best self for Frank, and everyone else could to worry over other things.

Is that what love is? Not caring about anyone else as much as that one person? Is that why it hurt so bad when he was away from me?

I had considered the fact before that I may very well love him. It sure seemed an awful lot like it, but I was going to give it a few more days before I said anything.

Folding the note up, I left it on the ground and exited the closet. I decided to walk back up to my room and call Lindsey to see what she was up to.

After about three rings, she finally picked up. "Hey Gee, what's up?"

"Oh, I was just calling to ask how you were doing. That's all."

"I'm doing fine. How are you? Are you feeling any better? How's the situation with Frank?"

"It's healing I guess. Apparently Corey talked with him, and Frank wrote me a letter saying he was sorry. He said he was going to come back, I'm not sure when though."

"That's great news, Gee. I'm sure you two will be able to fall back in line."

"I sure hope so. How are things with your sister?"

"She's still in the hospital, but she's doing better. They said heart rate is beating at a slower pace, but she's going to be on prescription to help with that."
Lindsey's sister had a heart attack, so Lindsey had to go back home in order to comfort her mom during this time.

"Alright. Tell her that I hope she gets better soon?"

"Sure thing, Gee. Have a nice day."

"You too, Linds."

After that, I hung up and decided to take a nap. Even though I almost never left my room lately, my sleep schedule was still really fucked up. I hadn't been able to sleep at night without Frank being in the room, as much as I hated admitting that.

I wish I wasn't so dependent. It made me seem helpless, which maybe I was, but I didn't want to feel like that.

I waited patiently to fall asleep, but sadly it never happened. I had too many thoughts swarming my mind, so unfortunately, sleep was not an option in this situation.

I got up and went downstairs to go to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I immediately hated my appearance, and ran into a stall to get away from it. Slamming the door shut, I slouched down to sit on the ground with my back against the wall.

"I'm becoming a wreck. I can't even look at myself without gagging anymore! Why did I ever let this happen? Why the fuck did I ever get so attached?"

A wave of self hatred suddenly washed over me, and I found myself pinpointing every single flaw I had.

"I'm so fucking useless!" I shouted with tears streaming down my face. I was so fired up that I didn't even hear it when someone else stepped into the bathroom. "This is why I shouldn't even let myself get connected with other people. That's why my walls are so built up! This always happens! I'm not good enough for the world!" I continued to cry out through broken sobs. "Every single thing about me is fucking disgusting. I worry all the damn time, I'm ugly, I'm weird, I'm antisocial, I'm gay, I'm unlikeable, I'm crazy, I'm a fuck-up for gods sake! It's no wonder that everyone hates me!" I immediately pulled my head towards my knees and began crying all the tears that had been building up inside of me for the past week.

I was just a mess of choked back tears on the bathroom floor. If I kept crying at this pace, I was bound to run out of hydration soon. I eventually calmed myself down enough to where I was reduced to silent tears.

After a moment of quiet, I felt a gentle voice from outside the stall. "Gee?" It was Frank. "Gee is that you in there?" He sounded like he had been crying for awhile. I wonder what made him so sad.

"Y-yeah..." I replied weakly.

"Can I come in?" I hesitated. I didn't know if I was ready to face him yet or to be this vulnerable around him.

Trust Gerard. It's all about trust. I tried to reassure myself.

"Hold on." I slowly leaned towards the door and slid the lock until it was fully undone. I leaned back against the wall quickly and watched nervously as Frank walked into the stall, locking the door behind him. He soon sat down beside me, crossing his legs and putting his hands in his lap.

"Is that really how you think of yourself, Gee?" I slowly nodded. "Why do you hate yourself so much?"

"I have too many flaws..." I trailed off. I was still very unsure of how to word things now. It might sound stupid coming out of my mouth, and I wanted to avoid that.

"Gee..." I felt him place a hand under my chin to lift my head up, so I was looking him in the eyes. "Your flaws are what make you unique. Everyone has flaws, but that's what makes us human. There's no need to be ashamed of them."

"But everyone hates me for them, Frankie. The reason I'm such an unlikeable person is because of my flaws."

He put on a sad smile. "Not everyone, Gee." He leaned forward to wrap his arms around me, and I hugged him back. "I love your flaws. They make you so special. They make you so much more enjoyable than you could ever imagine."

"I thought you were never coming back..." I choked back a sob as I spoke into his shoulder. It was so nice to finally feel his embrace again, and not have to worry about him leaving.

"Of course I was going to come back, Gee. It just took someone to knock some sense into me is all. I could never stay away from you." He pulled away from me, his hands resting on my shoulders to keep me looking at him. "I love you, Gee."

That's the first smile I had on my face that day.

"I love you too, Frankie." I couldn't resist anymore, and I put my lips to his for a quick kiss.

"Come on Gee, lets go to the room," he smiled when we pulled away. Taking my hand, he led me out the bathroom and back upstairs. On the way there, I saw Corey peeking out his cracked door, smiling. I subtly smiled back to thank him.

Frank pulled me into the room and shut the door, immediately placing his lips on mine again. I enjoyed the sudden act, and wrapped my arms around his neck, him resting his hands on my waist.

Our lips moved slowly in sync together, fitting like a puzzle. I felt him run his tongue along my lower lip, so I parted my mouth to let him.

Our tongues danced together, full of passion, emotion, and love. He tasted so beautifully to me, and I knew it was a taste I would never get tired of.

We stayed like that for awhile, just slowly kissing each other until we were forced to pull apart for air. "I missed kissing you," I admitted shyly.

"I missed it too," he returned with a smile. "What do you wanna do, Gee?"

I smiled as I thought of a million possibilities, one in particular sticking out in my mind. "I want to watch a movie." I had just the movie in mind as well. I figured I should mess with him just a little more. You know, just a little payback.

"Oh yeah, and what movie?" I led him to the bed before grabbing my laptop. We sat down and I scrolled through my movies, looking for the perfect one.

My smile widened as the introduction to High School Musical began playing. I noticed Frank look at me from the corner of my eye, and I smirked at him.

"Is this some sort of payback for me being a dick?"

"Precisely." I nodded.

"Oh well. Jokes on you, I love this movie anyway and I know every word to every song in it."

"That makes it even more fun."

Most college guys were probably out drinking or something right now, but not me. I was laying in bed, cuddling my boyfriend, and watching high school musical.

Frank wasn't lying when he told me he knew the word to every song. He sang all the lyrics, and it would've been impressive... if I didn't already know all the lyrics myself.

We did a lot of the duet work as well. It was actually quite nice, because our voices accompanied each other in a very unique fashion. His voice had a sort of whiny tone to it, and it made it very unique. Mine had a more feminine sound, which harmonized very well with his.

We eventually finished the whole movie, and we were left to lay in bed. "Hey Frankie?"

"Yeah Gee?"

"If you don't mind me asking... what does that Axl guy want with you?" I had been wondering this for awhile now. Frank always talked about how Axl was being a jerk all the time.

Frank sighed before talking again. "Basically, he's a big homophobe. He wants to make my life hell just because I'm gay. He never wants me to be happy, so he always tries to mess with me in any way imaginable."

"I'm so sorry, Frankie." I pulled him closer to my chest, keeping him in a warm hug. "What did he do to you on the day you left in the morning?"

"It's pretty bad..." he trailed off.

"I don't care. I want to know. Unless it'll make you upset talking about it of course," I added.

"No no, it's fine. I guess telling someone won't do any harm," he decided. "Well I went to the music hall in the morning to get some song-writing stuff done. I had something on my mind I wanted to write about. When I got there, it was almost like he was waiting for me. I'm not sure why, but he was just... there I guess."

I nodded for him to continue.

"I tried to ignore him, but he followed me around like the douchebag he is. When I got into the music room, I noticed my guitar wasn't hanging where I left it. I turned to look at him, and he just smirked and pointed to a room. I looked through the window of a small practice room, and he had smashed my guitar. Not only that, but he wrote a very colorful selection of slurs on the neck of it. I've had to use my friend's guitar for the past week, just because of that stupid bitch."

"Frank that's awful!" I gasped. I leaned over to place a kiss on the top of his head. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with that."

"Eh he'll learn to stop eventually. Can we go to sleep now, Gee?"

"Of course, Frankie." I set my laptop on the bedside table and pulled the covers over both of us. I snuggled next to Frank and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Goodnight Gee. I love you."

"Love you too, Frankie."

I went asleep for the first time this week.