What if I told her?

Well, then she would know.

The problem is I don't think she's ready to know.

I've never had a mom before, and I'm not willing to lose this one. If I told her, she'd leave. She would leave or she'd make me leave, and I can't stand either.

So then I don't tell her.

But now she wants to know.

I've said too much. I wish I could take it all back to before things were complicated, to before I thought having a mom was a good idea.