June entry (Hello, Love)

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"Nandito si Jerry!" Parang tumigil ang pag-ikot ng buong mundo ko pagkarinig sa pangalan niya.

Looking at my own reflection in the mirror, my expression betrayed no emotion but there's a knot forming in my gut. I think I wanna puke.

How many years has it been? Why is he here?

Gaga, malamang narito siya. It's his bestfriend's wedding!

"Oh, Christ." Sapo ang noo, pumikit ako nang mariin at napamasahe ng sentido.

Don't you dare cry, Jana! Masisira ang make-up!

Puppy love, infatuation, long time crush, first love, first heartbreak—si Jerry ang lahat ng 'yon sa 'kin. Noon. Pero 'di ba tapos na? 'Di ba si Ian na? We're about to make our vows today! Umayos ka, Jana!

Darn, am I having cold feet?

Parang gusto kong umiyak. Hanggang sa naglalakad na lang ako sa altar ay hindi pa rin maipinta ang mukha ko—kabaligtaran ng mga papuring natatanggap.

After months of planning our wedding, I can't believe I'm having second thoughts right now. But when I saw the man standing at the altar, waiting for me with a faint smile and tear-stained eyes, everything else seems to float away. The people. My doubts. With only one thing as exception: his love.

Everything make sense. How I've always had a strong feeling towards his bestfriend Jerry, hence being young. But Ian has always been there. He taught me how to love and to be loved. How much it's willing to stay, endure and sacrifice. Because all throughout my journey, he's with me. And if that isn't love, then I don't know what love is.

"Mahal kita, Jana."

Gaga naman, Jana. Sabi ko 'wag kang iiyak! Ang make-up!

My heart tightens with so much bliss as I watch him sleep soundly beside me. My Ian.

A smile rose to my lips when his eyes fluttered open. "Hello, Love."