#WretchedChoicesWP

Chapter 31
Confessed

Time passed by so quickly while Jerome and I stayed silent as we sat beside each other. My eyes were locked on his note and the poeny in my hands. I still couldn't grasp the words I wanted to say. I didn't know where to start.

"Were you that disappointed that I'm not the one you expected?"

Jerome's tone was still playful, but it pained me a bit. Agad ko siyang nilingon at saka umiling para itanggi.

"I... I'm not disappointed..." sabi ko na lang kahit hindi ko rin sigurado kung dismayado ba ako o hindi. "I'm just..."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay habang hinihintay ang aking iduduktong.

"Surprised."

The corners of his lips rose before he relaxed his back. He lifted his head and stared at the open blue sky which served as the ocean of heaven. With that smile of his, I knew he wasn't buying my excuse. Though, I couldn't really tell if I was disappointed or not. I was still glad that it was him since he's very close to me even though we always irritate and make fun each other.

"You don't have to make it sound good," he said and chuckled. "Sharry told me that you're hoping it was Archer."

Napaawang ang aking labi. Ibinalik niya ang kanyang tingin sa akin. Mukhang kita niya ang gulat sa aking ekspresyon.

What did he mean by Sharry told him?

"I asked Sharry for help," he explained. "Tinanong ko sa kanya ang paborito mong bulaklak. Sinamahan din nila ako ng kanyang boyfriend sa inyo. She's familiar with your household that's why I asked her for help because it might look creepy if it was just me."

So, all this time, Sharry knew something but she chose not to tell me. I wasn't mad. Pero pakiramdam ko ay nagmukha akong tanga. Alam niya kung gaano bumabagabag sa isipan ko ang tungkol sa taong patagong nagbibigay sa akin ng bulaklak. Still, she kept quiet and let me go crazy trying to find out.

"Before you get mad and hate on your best friend, please don't. It's all on me."

Parang nabasa na ni Jerome ang nasa isipan ko kaya agad niyang ipinagtanggol si Sharry. He can't just take all the blame. He already told me that Sharry was involved in this too. Even her boyfriend!

"Nakiusap ako sa kanya na kung puwede ay huwag niyang sabihin sa'yo. She wanted to tell you, pero ayaw niya na rin akong pangunahan kaya ang sabi niya sa akin ay nagpapahiwatig na lang siya. She was dropping hints, but you're convinced that it was Archer."

So, that's why she was betting on Jerome all this time. She didn't want me to assume that it was Archer because she knew I would just get disappointed and hurt.

"I'm sorry if I let your best friend get involved with this," pagpapatuloy ni Jerome. "Sinabi niya sa akin kanina na magpakilala na sa'yo dahil naguguluhan at nahihirapan ka na kaiisip. That's why I decided to reveal myself now..."

Bumulong ang hangin sa aking tainga nang muling nanaig ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. Nanatili akong nakatingin kay Jerome habang siya naman ay diretso ang mga mata sa kawalan. He was serious at first but then, he chuckled again.

"I never thought that it would stress you out," he admitted. "I just wanted to make you smile."

Napakagat ako sa aking labi. Gusto niya lang akong mapangiti?

"You don't have to do all those things just to make me smile, Jerome," I told him. "I like hanging out with you. You can make me smile with your usual playful ways. No need to give me poenies—"

"I like you."

The way he said it casually and out of the blue caught me off guard. With eyes wide open, I blankly stared at him—speechless. I had no idea how to react. No words were coming out of my mouth.

Hinihintay kong bawiin niya ang sinabi dahil baka isa na naman ito sa kanyang mga biro, pero nanatili siyang seryosong nakatingin sa akin. Nang hindi ko na kayang tumagal pa sa aming titigan ay lumihis ako ng tingin at saka tumawa.

The sound of my fake and awkward laugh was so irritating, but I continued laughing just to ease the atmosphere.

"Ano ka ba, Jerome!" Natatawa kong sabi. "Huwag ka ngang magbiro ng ganyan. Alam kong maganda ako, pero alam ko ring hindi mo ako gusto dahil, 'di ba? Ayon ang sinabi mo noon?"

"Hindi ako nagbibiro."

Sa lalim ng kanyang boses ay muli akong napabaling sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon ay seryoso pa rin siyang nakatingin sa akin.

"I didn't expect to suddenly fall for you," he said without any humor. "One time, I just looked straight into your eyes and then, I realized that I was already pulled in."

Nanatili akong nakatitig lamang sa kanya. Nahihiya siyang ngumiti at kinamot ang batok.

"I can't believe I'm saying these things..." he said and bit his lower lip.

I released a deep sigh. I knew I sounded problematic and I didn't want Jerome to feel bad, however, I just couldn't bring myself to smile at his sudden confession.

At first, I thought that he just wanted to make me happy as a concerned friend like Sharry, but I didn't consider that he was feeling something romantic for me.

"Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko..." pag-amin sa aking nararamdaman ngayon. "I am shocked... confused... Ewan ko. Magulo ang isipan ko ngayon Jerome. Pasensya na..."

Nodding his head, he smiled a bit. "I know... I understand," he said with a very assuring tone. "I know you like Archer and it is not a good timing to confess, but like what Sharry said, it's better if you already know how I feel. Also, I didn't want to mislead you anymore by hiding my identity."

I pursed my lips, thinking of better words to say when Jerome suddenly flicked his finger on my forehead. Muli ko siyang binalingan at akmang gagawin niya ulit kaya naman tinakpan ko ang aking noo gamit ang aking kamay.

He laughed, then, pinched my nose instead. I glared at him.

"If you think that I'll stop teasing you just because I like you, think again," he told me. "Teasing you is now a hobby of mine. Better watch out."

Pagkatapos niyang kumindat sa akin ay tumayo na siya. He offered me his hand to help me stand. Napatingin ako sa kanyang kamay na nakalahad. I wasn't sure if I should take his hand or not.

"Sana ay hindi pa rin magbago ang pakikitungo natin sa isa't isa kahit na umamin ako sa'yo..." sabi niya nang mapuna siguro ang tumatakbo ngayon sa aking isipan. "Will that be okay, Keia?"

After I sighed, I nodded my head and took his hand. He smiled wider and helped me get into my feet. Hindi pa siya nakuntento kaya ginulo niya pa ang aking buhok.

"Jerome!" Akmang hahampasin ko siya sa braso nang tumakbo siya palayo sa akin habang natatawa.

I didn't run after him because he moved too quickly. It would just be a waste of energy. Hinding-hindi ko siya mahuhuli.

"May isang klase pa ako. I'll go ahead first," sabi niya sa akin at bahagyang sumulyap sa kanyang likuran. "Anyway, someone wants to talk to you. Maiwan ko na kayong dalawa."

Bago ko pa matanong kung ano ang ibig sabihin niya ay tuluyan na siyang pumihit paalis at si Sharry naman na mukhang kanina pa nagmamasid sa amin ay lumabas na sa kanyang pinagtataguan.

She was wearing a wry smile as she hesitantly approached me.

"Uhm..." Hindi niya alam kung ano ang kanyang unang sasabihin. "Nasabi na ba sa'yo ni Jerome?"

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi na niya kailangan pang mag-alangan dahil ayos lang sa akin ang ginawa niyang hindi pagsabi tungkol kay Jerome, pero ang sabi nga nila, lintik lang ang walang ganti. I wanted to get even first.

"Alam mo pa lang si Jerome ang nagbibigay sa akin ng bulaklak..." Sinadya kong maging kasing lamig ng yelo ang tono ng aking boses.

The small smile on her lips immediately disappeared. After a very careful step closer to me, she topped and played with her fingers. She couldn't even stare straight at me.

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you about it right away..." she apologized with a very soft voice. "Jerome asked me to keep it a secret. Though, I know it's still up to me if I'd betray you for keeping that a secret... I have no excuse."

Sa tono ng boses ng aking kaibigan ay gusto ko na kaagad sumuko at sabihin sa kanyang ayos lang. But I guess it's better to hear her reasons directly from her rather than hearing her thoughts from Jerome earlier.

"To be honest, I really like Jerome for you," she admitted, still trying to avoid my gaze. "I love how thoughtful he is when it comes to you. Not to mention that he saved you before from those judgemental people. That's why I agreed to keep his secret when he came to me for help and an advice."

Kahit na hindi siya makatingin sa akin ay alam kong totoo ang lahat ng kanyang sinasabi. She wasn't lying, which meant, she really liked Jerome for me for whatever reason she had.

"But when I saw you hoping for Archer and stressing yourself out earlier, I told him to confess already. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay hindi ko na mapipigilan ang sarili ko kapag hindi pa siya umamin. I didn't want you hoping for that guy, Keia. Ayokong masaktan ka ulit."

It felt like a warm hand caressed my heart when I saw tears pooling inside her eyes. Hindi na kinaya ng konsensya ko na makita ang matalik na kaibigan na ganoon. Walang salita akong lumapit sa kanya para yakapin siya. I felt her stiffened for a bit, but she relaxed right away.

"I know you love me, Sha..." I whispered with a smile on my face. "Thank you."

Dahil hindi niya inaasahan ang aking sinabi ay kumawala siya sa aking pagkakayakap para lamang maharap ako nang mabuti.

"H-Hindi ka galit sa akin?"

Shaking my head, I chuckled. "Medyo nagtampo lang kanina, but I'm not mad," I assured her. "Naiintindihan ko kung bakit mo ginawa 'yon. I know you care about me so, it's okay."

It was like a huge burden was removed from her shoulder when she exhaled a deep sigh. Then, she gave me a death glare.

"Akala ko galit ka sa akin! Tinakot mo ako!" reklamo niya habang nakahawak sa kanyang dibdib.

Mas lalo lamang akong natawa. "Now, we can call it quits."

Ipinagpatuloy naming dalawa ni Sharry ang pag-uusap patungkol kay Jerome sa kalapit na milk tea shop sa campus. I didn't like drinking milk tea so, I just ordered chocolate frappucino since the shop also sells it.

Nakataas ang kilay sa akin ni Sharry matapos siyang sumipsip sa kanyang milk tea. "So, nanliligaw na sa'yo ngayon si Jerome?"

I almost choke on my frappucino. Mas lalo lamang napataas ang kilay niya dahil sa bayolente kong reaksyon.

Mabilis akong umiling habang pinupunasan ang bibig gamit ang tissue. "Hindi ah!"

Her eyes narrowed. "Liar," she stated. "He already confessed. For sure, nanliligaw na 'yon sa'yo!"

Yes, it's true that he confessed, but it didn't mean that he was already courting me. We didn't talk about something like that.

"Oo nga. Umamin nga siya, pero hindi nga siya nanliligaw sa akin."

"Keia, ayon na 'yon!" Halos mairita siya sa akin. "Since he already confessed, nanliligaw na 'yon ngayon. Ano ka ba?! Para kang single since birth, ah."

"Hindi naman dahil umamin ay nanliligaw na rin siya," katuwiran ko. "Okay then, let's think about my exes. Noong niligawan nila ako ay sinabi nila sa akin na nanliligaw sa kanya. Jerome didn't say that he's courting me."

"Hay nako, Keia! Given na 'yon!" pilit niya pa rin.

Kalmado akong umiling-iling dahil hindi ako sang-ayon sa kanyang sinasabi. "Ang sabi nga nila, never assume unless otherwise stated."

Sharry looked at me with disbelief. "Keia! Ano pa bang pag-aassume ang sinasabi mo, e, umamin na nga sa'yo si Jerome!?" she ranted. "Ang pag-aassume ay 'yong ginagawa mo pagdating kay Ar—"

Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita nang may namataan siya sa aking likuran. Agad niyang tinikom ang kanyang bibig at nakuha pang umirap.

Dahil kuryoso ako sa bigla niyang inasal, lumingon ako sa likuran at nakita ko sina Archer at Hope.

Hope smiled at me as a brief greeting and excused herself from Archer. Dumiretso siya sa table kung saan nakaupo ang namumukhaan kong dalawang lalaki at si Marga. Archer, on the other hand, was looking at me.

Base sa mga huling sinabi ni Sharry, pakiramdam ko ay alam na niya ang pinag-uusapan namin. He probably knew that Jerome confessed his feelings to me. Ano kaya ang iniisip niya ngayon?

"Keia, I have to go now."

Napabalik kay Sharry ang tingin ko. Sumulyap siya sa aking likuran bago dire-diretsong lumabas ng milk tea shop pagkatapos isukbit ang kanyang bag.

I was dumbfounded because of Sharry's abrupt decision to leave. She was the one who asked to come here. Pagkatapos ay iiwan niya lang ako bigla?

When I was about to follow her out, I stopped as Archer replaced Sharry from her seat earlier. Napatitig ako sa kanya habang kalmado at kumportable siyang umupo sa aking harapan. Tinigil ko lang ang mayadong pagtitig nang maisip ko si Hope na kasama niya kanina. She was now having a fun conversation with her companions on the other table.

"Can I sit here for a while?"

Namumutawi ang mga salita sa aking mga labi nang bumaling akong muli sa kanya.

My mind was telling me that I should go, but my heart wanted me to stay more. Before I could even fight my heart, I was already drawn into his eyes and realized how much I missed staring at those beautiful and expressive eyes.

"May hihintayin lang ako..." dagdag niya matapos ng ilang sandaling katahimikan.