#WretchedChoicesWP

Chapter 20
Surrender

I was busy simultaneously scanning the cafeteria, looking for a vacant table, while texting Sharry who was still in her class.

From: Sharry
Malapit nang matapos klase namin. Kita na lang tayo sa cafeteria.

Iyon ang sabi niya kaya naghahanap ako ngayon ng aming mauupuan. The cafeteria was always crowded during this hour because it's lunchtime. Pati ang mga iilang professors ay dito rin kumakain na nakakadagdag sa populasyon ng mga estudyante.

To: Sharry
Okay. Just text me.

I kept the phone on my pocket when I finally found a vacant table nearby. Tahimik akong umupo roon habang hinihintay ni Sharry. Saka na ako bibili ng pagkain kapag nandito na siya. Baka may makakuha pa ng lamesa na ito kapag umalis ako.

I was so bored to death while waiting that I just played mobile games on my phone. But that boredom didn't last long, especially when I heard the lowlifes talking behind me.

"So, what happened sa reporting ninyo kanina, Hope?"

My ears stretched just to hear them clearly the moment I heard Hope's name and something about the reporting. I stopped playing games on my phone and put it down on the table.

"OMG! Let me tell them about it, Hope!" Marga's familiar voice caught my attention.

Marga's a friend of Hope, and she's also one of my classmates. Hearing her only made things more interesting. Gusto kong malaman kung saan tutungo ang usapan nilang magkakaibigan na paniguradong magiging tungkol sa akin.

"It almost didn't go well because Keia put the wrong information on her part," Marga told them which made me raise my eyebrows. "Muntik na niyang mapahamak si Hope. Kung hindi niya siguro naitawid 'yon, even Hope's grade for the reporting might be in danger."

I couldn't keep a cool head when she started to put the blame on me for something that I didn't do. I clenched my jaw and kept my temper on track.

Napakagaling nga naman talaga ng Hope na 'yan. Lumalabas pa ngayon na ako ang may kasalanan sa bagay na siya ang gumawa. She did that to frame me and be humiliated. It was unfortunate for her that she didn't succeed, though.

But to be honest, I didn't expect that she would do that. It's not just my grade which would be at risk if I didn't notice the mistake. Pati ang sarili niyang grade ay ipinahamak niya para lamang mapahiya ako. I didn't realize that's how petty she was. Just to save herself and gain sympathy, she acted like a victim. Didn't know she could be this low. She totally lost all the respect I had for her.

"At alam ninyo kung ano ang nakakainis? Si Keia pa talaga ang napuri ng professor namin kahit na siya 'yong muntik nang magkamali!" Bahagyang tumaas ang kanyang boses. "Hope and I also heard that she even surpassed Hope. Nakakagigil! Si Hope pa tuloy ngayon ang lumalabas na mahina. Panigurado namang nakatiyamba lang siya kanina."

"Marga, it's okay..." Hope sounded so wounded that it irritated me even more. "I believe I'm also at fault..."

Ano na naman ang pinapaawa nitong babaeng 'to? Gigil na gigil na ako ah!

"If only I didn't have to attend an important family matter, I could have paid more attention to our research," Hope added and blamed herself for a different matter.

Oh, come on!

Even when she was out of town, she kept on messaging me just to keep me updated about the report. That's how grade conscious she was. She's just really trying to save face because I managed to step down on her pride.

I wonder how long can she stay ignorant and won't accept her defeat.

"That makes it even more unfair, Hope!" The other unfamiliar voice of a girl butted in. "You told us that she didn't even work hard on her part, right?"

"Oo nga! Sabi mo pinagawa niya lang 'yon sa iba at hindi niya maamin-amin sa'yo kasi nahihiya siya," sabat pa ng isa.

I felt like a dragon breathing fire as my anger got intensified. Once again, my hard work got invalidated by these people.

"Ikaw kahit busy ka, nagawa mo pa rin ang part mo at pinaghirapan mo, pero siya nagpagawa lang sa iba. Pagkatapos, all good credits was given to her. That's really unfair!" Marga added dried firewood to the flames of my burning anger.

"Not to mention, she was flirting with Archer and Jerome at the same time, especially when you were absent. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha niya, e, no?"

I clenched my fist tightly and bit my lower lip. They're playing with my temper so well.

Gusto kong matawa sa gitna ng galit at iritasyon. Me? Flirting with Archer and Jerome?

Well, I could accept the part with Archer since I really was trying to flirt him in my own ways, but Jerome? Didn't know that simply enjoying a conversation with an opposite sex could be considered as flirting already. Also, aren't they aware that I was avoiding Archer nowadays? For Pete's sake! Their thoughts are so primitive that it humors me.

"You're too nice, Hope..." The unfamiliar one praised her. "If I were in your place, I would have confronted her already."

Then do it! Mukha bang natatakot ako?

"Ano ba kayo..." Mahinahon ang boses ni Hope at tila nahihiya. "Alam ninyo namang wala akong karapatan na pagsabihan siya sa bagay na 'yan dahil hindi pa naman kami ni Archer..."

Ang lubid ng iniingatan kong pasensya ay tuluyan nang naputol. Papalagpasin ko na sana ang pagsasalita nila ng masama patungkol sa akin, pero hindi ko kayang sikmurain ang pagkukunwari ni Hope.

If no one would notice the mask she was wearing then, I'd be the one to remove it and reveal what's hiding under her perfect façade.

"Hanggang kailan ka kaya magpapanggap?"

I purposely made my voice louder just to get their attention which I successfully did. They stopped talking, and it made me curious that's why I stood up and faced them.

It was like time froze for them when they saw me. I smirked inwardly.

Nasaan na ngayon ang mga matatapang na nagsasalita kanina? They were so good talking behind someone else's back. Ang dami nilang nasabi kanina patungkol sa akin, ngunit ngayon ay hindi sila makapagsalita.

I even saw Marga looked away from me. Nakakatawa naman. Nasaan na ang tapang na mayroon sila kanina?

Well, if they wouldn't speak. I guess the floor's already mine.

Pagkatapos ko silang pasadahan ng tingin isa-isa ay itinigil ko ang aking mga mata kay Hope. Mukha siyang inosente na mas lalong nagpagigil sa akin. Napakagaling talagang umarte!

"Hi, Hope!" Plastik akong ngumiti sa kanya. "Nadinig ko ang mga pinagku-kuwentuhan ninyo at sa sobrang daming mali, sobrang naging interesting siya para sa akin."

I shot my eyebrows and grinned, especially when she started to look so intimidated.

"I'm sure your friends are all full from the lies and groundless assumptions about me that you fed them with," I said with sarcasm. "I wonder how happy you are that you gained their sympathy by victimizing yourself. I'm really curious..."

She turned away from me, scared to meet the intensity of my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on, Hope!" I laughed like a crazy mad woman. "Are we gonna pretend that you didn't confront me last time, in my house, about Archer and ask me to stay away from him? For what? For your own satisfaction? Or maybe, is it because you're threatened that I might steal him from you?"

Her eyes widened when I hit the right spot. I also saw how tight she gripped on her skirt.

Since I already inserted the arrow to trigger her temper like how she did with mine, why don't I push it a little bit deeper? Nasimulan ko na lang din lang, sasagadin ko na.

"Oh, wait! I'm actually wrong!" I acted surprised like I really realized my mistake. "I can't steal him from you because he's not even yours to begin with."

She threw dagger stares the moment I finished saying those words which I purposely spat to offend her more. She was about to stand up and gave in to the pressure when one of her friends stole the scene and protected her.

"Can you stop bullying Hope?" Medyo napataas ang boses niya kaya ang mga nakuha naming atensyon kanina nang magsimula ako ay dumami. "Hindi mo ba narinig kanina na pinagtatanggol ka pa nga niya. All she did was blame herself. We're the ones who badmouthed you because you deserved it."

Mas lalo lamang akong natawa. Dahil sa sobrang tuwa dahil sa katangahan ng kanyang nabilog na kaibigan ay pumalakpak pa ako.

"I don't know why you're protecting her from me like a weak victim," I said and sounded curious. "If you're really her friend and if you actually know her, you would know that she doesn't need it."

Napakunot ang noo nito. "At ano naman ang ibig mong sabihin?"

"Nako! Kung sa inyo, hindi ko na lang siya papakinggan. We all know how nice Hope is that she can't do or say anything bad." Marga finally found her confidence to step in. "She's just fooling us!"

"Fooling you?" Muli akong nagtaas ng kilay at saka humalukipkip. "Bakit ko naman gagawin 'yon?"

"To make Hope look bad, of course!"

I chuckled. "If that's the case, there's no need to fool you just to prove that she's not as kind as you think she is," I told them. "At huwag mo akong igaya sa kanya. Hindi ako nanloloko o nagsisinungaling para lamang mapasama ang isang tao, 'di ba, Hope?"

Ibinalik kong muli kay Hope ang aking mga mata. Ngayon ay wala ng bakas ng tuwa ang aking tingin sa kanya. Hinayaan ko nang maghari ang galit at iritasyon.

"Siguro akala mo makakaisa ka sa akin nung sinadya mong malian ang parte ko sa report. Akala mo ba hindi ko mapapansin?" mariin kong sabi. "You must think that I'm really a fool, right? How's the feeling of being stepped on by someone like me? Someone like me whom you think is so inferior from you. Masarap ba?"

Napaawang ang kanyang mga labi. Akala niya siguro ay papalagpasin ko lamang 'yon. Pwes! Nagkakamali siya.

"Kahapon ilang beses nga ba nating inulit-ulit ang pagp-proofread ng presentation natin? Hindi ko na nga mabilang dahil ganoon mo kagustong maging maayos ang lahat. I was very certain that it didn't have any mistake yesterday. Even minor typos nor grammatical errors wouldn't be found. Kaya naman nagulat ako kanina. Bakit kaya nagkaroon ng mali?" makahulugan kong tanong. "Pagkatapos ay maririnig-rinig ko sa inyo na sinadya ko? Na ako ang may kasalanan? 'Yong totoo, nagpapatawa ba kayo?"

Nagkatinginan ang dalawang kaibigan niyang hindi pamilyar sa akin. Ang mga mata ni Hope ay napupuno na ng nagbabadyang luha. Si Marga na lang ngayon ang matapang na nakatingin sa akin.

"Then, what? Are you putting the blame on Hope?" Marga crossed her arms. "She wouldn't do that. She has a grade to maintain. She's running for Latin honors. She wouldn't risk her grades so, why would she do that?"

"Why don't you ask her that question instead of asking me?" I said, as a matter of fact. "I'm not Hope. But yeah, I'm also curious..."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay kay Hope. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagagawa ko pa ring kumalma kahit papaano sa ganitong sitwasyon kahit na gustong-gusto nang kumilos ng mga kamay ko.

"Bakit mo nga ba ginawa 'yon?" diretso kong tanong sa kanya. "Mayroon akong naiisip na mga dahilan, pero parang mas gusto ko kung galing mismo sa'yo."

Once again, she avoided my stare and bowed her head. For sure, she was thinking of an excuse not to look bad in the eyes of her friends and other people who are watching us now.

After a few seconds of silence and quiet murmurs from the spectators, I was stunned when Hope raised her head. Tears were already flowing down her cheeks. She slowly stood up and with her shaking hand, she tried to hold my arm.

"Tama na, Keia, please... Wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa'yo. Malapit lang talaga ako kay Archer..."

My eyes widened when she turned the table around completely.

She made it look like I was really picking on her because she was close with Archer, and I hated her to depths for it because I like him. Talagang ako ang gusto niyang lumabas na masama. In the end, she still victimized herself.

"For God's sake, can you stop acting like you're an angel when your soul truly belongs to the depths of hell?!"

With all my strength, I pulled my arm away from her hold after I shouted. Because of the force I used, I almost dragged her along if she wasn't supported by a familiar built of arm.

I raised my head to look at the owner of the arm who kept Hope from falling and confirmed that it was Archer. His eyes filled with thunderstorm didn't scare me because my eyes were in the middle of a strong hurricane.

"Archer..."

Bakas sa boses ni Hope ang gulat, pero mas nangingibabaw ang takot. Patuloy pa ring lumalandas ang luha sa kanyang pisngi at kumapit ng mahigpit sa braso nito, tila natatakot sa akin.

Archer looked at her with concern before he turned to me again. Kita ko ang galit sa kanyang mga mata.

"I'm so disappointed, Keia," he said, and it was like my world stopped spinning for a moment. "I know you don't like Hope but this time, you crossed the line."

All the anger I was feeling earlier boiled down into pain. It hurt so much because it felt so unfair. He was so unfair with me. Did he really think I'd pay attention to Hope and give in to what she wants me to do just because I hate her? Akala niya ba ay ganoon lang kababaw ang rason ko?

Ang akala ko ba ay naiintindihan niya na ako. If it was true, then why did he think I'd be in this rage for something so shallow? And to think that he was even disappointed in me...

Hindi dapat ako nasasaktan, eh. Dapat ay wala akong pakialam sa iniisip niya tungkol sa akin, pero hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman ang sakit.

If I'd be honest with myself, I already knew why he could affect me so easily. I did everything I can just to stop myself from falling in the trap I set myself. I swore a lot of times that I would never trip. I promised not to let it happen even after my death. However, I failed to keep it all. I failed myself and got pushed down the cliff.

I fell in love with him.

And at the moment I became honest with myself about my unconditional feelings for him, I decided to just throw it away and never tell him that I did fall completely...

I'll surrender and end this game.

I'm done playing.