Chapter 7: Discipline

Neither of us slept the remainder of the day. My haunting nightmares refused to let me find rest, and Denise seemed perfectly willing to stay at my side.

As night silently moved across the island, darkness grew. Long shadows expanded until they merged together in a single, obscuring layer. My own physical substance followed after the island, becoming wrapped in shadow. Denise's arm around my midsection dropped through to land on the cavern floor as my body became intangible.

"I guess it's time to get up," I suggested.

Denise nodded and tried to rub her eyes, but her sleep deprived mind had forgotten about her helmet. Water splashed against the transparent visor over her eyes, and it woke her up as well as being a reminder of her current attire.

"Here," I offered, turning solid just long enough to pull the containment suit off her. It went much easier than before, and I thought I might be getting better at using my powers.

"Thank you," Denise said when the containment suit was removed. Her hair went pure white, and the silvery moonlight projecting from her skin filled the cavern in its soft glow. She stood up and stretched.

I caught myself staring at her. I could see through the torn areas of her blaze orange jumpsuit the toned muscle under her flawless skin tighten and flex with each graceful movement. Quickly directing my gaze elsewhere, I tried to keep my mind centered on something other than the beautiful woman sharing the small cavern with me.

"I'll see about getting us something to eat," I offered, vanishing through the rock wall before she could respond.

As I emerged on the surface, I tried to understand what was wrong with me. I was clearly a highly trained military agent, and a variety of skills were in my employ. Yet, the mere presence of Denise seemed to monopolize my thoughts; she was all I could focus upon. Even apart from her, my mind regularly returned to her. It didn't make sense. What was it about Denise that unbalanced me so badly?

Putting a foot partway into the side of a tree, I discovered I could climb the trunk as easily as moving through the ground. Every part of the tree became a hold where I could leverage myself higher. Reaching the top, I easily phased a coconut loose from where it was attached and dropped it to the ground below. I repeated the process until satisfied with the quantity.

Climbing down, my mind centered on my current problem and its possible origins. With a lack of memory, I didn't know who I was or where I'd come from. Nightmares haunted my dreams, and the only one on the island who didn't seem intent on either killing me or locking me in a room for scientific experiments was Denise.

She was patient, understanding, and caring. In my darkest moments, she was the support at my side. Denise had been acting as my anchor, and I was only beginning to see how much I needed her.

I realized the skills I possessed, combat and gun handling abilities, didn't require conscious thought. They'd been so completely instilled in me, they'd become instinct. I didn't need my memories to maintain them, but the mental stability necessary to avoid distraction came from training and understanding. Without memories, I didn't know the proper techniques. If I were going to survive, I would have to relearn them, fast.

After selecting a generous helping of fruit to go with the coconuts I'd retrieved, I headed back for the cave. As I approached, I noticed Denise wasn't there any longer. Searching through the transparent rock around me, I easily located her swimming in the bay. Her blaze orange jumpsuit was very noticeable in the blue waters, and the moonlight coming from her skin lit the ocean near her in a bubble of silvery light.

I paused momentarily as I watched her swim. Shadows were cast from the coral reefs as she swam past them, and the sands of the ocean floor reflected her glow in tiny sparkles. Her movements were graceful and strong as she glided through the waters like a shark. I shook myself as I realized I'd been doing it again. Tearing my attention away from Denise, I entered the cave to deposit the gathered food for our breakfast.

It took three minutes before Denise swam through the tunnel and checked to see if I'd returned.

"Beautiful night," Denise said, breathing slightly harder than normal after holding her breath through the long tunnel.

"I noticed," I replied. Reaching over, I became solid long enough to take her hand. I turned us both ghostly for a moment. The water on her skin and clothes remained behind and splattered to the cave floor when her substance vanished and no longer supported it. Releasing her, I returned Denise to solid form, and she examined her now completely dry clothes.

"Your powers are truly amazing," she said admiringly. "I'd rather have your powers than mine."

"Speaking of which," I responded, "we need to work on yours, but we can wait until after breakfast."

I used my abilities to phase the top of a coconut, easily removing it from the remainder still in my opposing hand. I held out the open coconut to Denise, slicing into another after she took the one I'd offered her.

"To freedom," I said before tapping my coconut against hers in a toast.

"I'll drink to that," she agreed, taking several gulps of the liquid contained inside.

We ate our breakfast quickly as we didn't wish to waste the night hours. When ready, she looked to me for instruction.

"Let's start with just your hand," I suggested. "Focus your attention on it. You can close your eyes if it helps. In your mind, suppress the glow."

Denise closed her eyes and held out her right hand. As I watched, the glow flickered slightly, but it didn't go out.

"Almost," I said. "Remember, this isn't a muscle you're trying to flex. It's all in your mind. Relax."

I'd seen the tension in her neck muscles, and I knew she was trying too hard to force the change.

Denise took a deep breath and slowly released it. Her muscle tension eased as she tried a different approach. The glow from her hand dimmed. It was only marginal but continuous. Eventually, it faded entirely, and her pale skin revealed itself.

"Very good," I praised.

Denise opened her eyes, but it disrupted her focus, and the moonlight came immediately back. She sighed heavily.

"Don't worry about it," I said. Turning solid, I took her hand. "It takes practice, and you've already completed the initial step. Keep in mind, no human has ever controlled light coming from their skin before, and you accomplished it on only the second attempt. Maintaining the proper perspective will help you keep going. Progress, in any amount, is still progress."

Denise kept her eyes open as she made another attempt. It took time, but each successive try brought faster results for longer intervals. Eventually, her control expanded beyond her hand to encompass her arm, and then the rest of her. Although Denise's hair remained white, the moonlight coming from her ceased.

"Excellent," I commended. "Now, we need to work on the fire."

"I don't know," she said hesitantly.

"It's better to try now when I'm an invulnerable shadow," I explained. "We'll start small, like before. Try getting one hand to ignite."

I picked up the containment suit and phased out, not wanting any harm to come to the useful gear.

Denise held up her right hand again and concentrated. Small flickers of flame sparked around her fingers, but they alternated with the return of the moonlight glow as her mental focus was directed elsewhere. Her hand was soon wrapped in bright orange fire. It lit up the cavern and filled it with its heat.

She let go, killing the flames and letting the moonlight return. Her head drooped, and her breathing deepened as she tried to relax. The unfamiliar exertion had obviously taken much out of her.

"I think you've done enough," I stated. I changed into solid form and took her hands in mine. "Now you know how I felt after using my powers so much. It gets better; we'll try more tomorrow."

"Thank you," she said, leaning forward and giving me a hug around the neck.

After a moment, she pulled back long enough to change from her sitting position to kneeling. Her hands slid across my shoulders and took a hold of my face on either side. Her fingers were strong and warm against my skin. Before I could react, her lips covered mine with their rose petal softness. She leaned against me, her arms snugging tight around my neck. The feel of her body against mine drove all logical thought from my mind.

My response was instinctual, hands lifting to take hold of her sides above the curve of her hips and just below the firmness of her ribs. As my hands glided around to the small of her back, I felt the texture of her jumpsuit under my fingers, but in the places where it was torn, I experienced her smooth and flawless skin.

I knew this was wrong, but my mind kept inventing plausible reasons for not only continuing, but for going further. I realized if I tried to reason my way out of this, it would be too late. Action was required immediately.

Taking all the resolve I could manage, I turned ethereal and dug my hands into the ground on either side of me. Pulling up over my head, I sent myself plunging through the cavern floor and out of her embrace. My heart pounded in my ears, and it took a moment to restore my composure.

Climbing back up, I exited the ground through a wall. Denise sat on her knees where I had left her.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I just couldn't... I.."

My words trailed off in a frustrated sigh. I couldn't think of the right thing to say. Nothing seemed sufficient to warrant the refusal of her very desirable affections.

"I understand," she replied, straightening her jumpsuit. I heard the quiver in her voice. Despite her words, she was hardly at ease with my choice. An explanation was due her. Thinking a moment, I began.

"I want you to know how much I didn't want to do that," I explained. "I've been constantly thinking of you since we met. Regardless, I couldn't disrespect you in such a manner."

"What do you mean?" she question, confusion coloring her tone of voice.

"Let's say you had a gemstone, perfectly cut, flawless in every way," I clarified. "If you gave it to someone you liked, then handed it to another, and another. Each would enjoy it in turn, but they would have to give it up when the next possessor came along. They may never find such a perfect stone again, and even if they found one that was good, knowledge of the perfection they once had would color their perception and taint their enjoyment of it.

"Consider also if you were to guard and protect that gemstone. Handing it to only one, and for the duration of your life, it would go to no other. Would that not increase its value beyond measure?"

I knelt in front of her on the cavern floor, but I kept my hands to myself.

"There is a time and place for such passion," I went on, and Denise seemed content to continue listening. "I believe anyone asking for sex outside of marriage should have their face slapped. They want their fun but promise nothing in return, retaining the option to dismiss the other whenever they choose. A prostitute would at least be paid for services rendered. Sex outside of marriage treats a person as being lower than a prostitute. How could anyone do that to someone they claim to love?

"I respect you too much to treat you in such a shameful manner. Although I don't remember how I know them, I'm familiar with the wedding vows. 'To have and to hold', a very lovely part of it. 'For better or worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health; until death do us part'.

"Powerful words with great depth of purpose. It means no matter what happens, I'd never leave nor abandon you. As long as I live, I would remain at your side to share your joys and sorrows, successes and failures, all through the years. Even if we grew apart, I would still stay with you alone. This is no small commitment for it is the offering of one's life in totality.

"I don't know you well enough to make such a commitment. Truthfully, I don't even know myself."

I stood, taking a step toward the wall in preparation for leaving.

"I want to know you better," I told her. "No matter what happens between us, you shall be treated with the greatest respect for anything less would be unworthy of you."

I was about to leave when she called to me.

"Wraith," she said.

I halted and looked over my shoulder.

"I agree with you," she told me. "Thank you for your restraint."

"Pulling away from you was the most difficult thing I can remember doing," I answered.

"I need some air," Denise said.

Offering her my arm, I walked her through the wall and up to the surface. When we emerged from the ground, she folded her hands behind her back, and I did likewise.

The air coming off the ocean was cool, and light from the actual moon shone on every tree not illuminated by Denise. Insects sung an alien chorus in the dense foliage around us, accompanied by the steady roar of the ocean waves driving in against the shore.

We walked together through the jungle, talking of many things and the unknown possibilities of the future.

"You know," Denise said glumly. "Even if things worked out between us, we could never have a family."

"Why?" I asked, puzzled at her sudden negativity.

"During daylight hours, I'd have to focus to keep from burning you to death, but at night, you'd have to concentrate in order to keep from going ghost."

I stopped walking as an idea came to my mind.

"The scientist, Dr. Powel, must have thought of such problems," I said. "He'd need a way to turn off the powers of his people when not on missions because he's not likely to put them all in containment suits. Additionally, he'd need a measure of control if one of his people turned against him."

"What are you thinking?" Denise inquired.

"I'm thinking," I replied, "we should pay the good doctor a house call."