Chapter 39

When the question boiled down to the family I grew up with, my words to answer were chosen carefully. I don't want to bare myself to people whom I just met, even if it includes my brother. I also had a hunch that they were advised not to speak about the accidents I went through. It was obvious how they diverted their question to another before it led to those days, especially that Ate Harley and Ate Izzy were doing it smoothly.

Umiikot ang baso nila na may alak habang nagtatanungan hanggang sa hindi na nakasentro sa akin ang bawat tanong. Ate Harley was teasing Kuya Aji who would drink Kuya Axe's supposed shots who was sitting next to him and enjoying the food instead. Ate Veron and Ate Harley were the ones who prepared my drink.

May pinaghalo-halo silang alak at juice. Pinaapuyan pa nila iyon gamit ang lighter ni Racer. When I asked for its purpose, Kuya Axe interjected to answer the scientific explanation for the chemical reaction.

Ate Izzy laughed on my side. "Nababawasan ang alcohol content ng spirits kapag naiinitan, depende kung gaano katagal. Kapag sobrang tagal nainitan, mawawala na ang lasa ng alcohol at effect nito."

Tumango ako, mas naintindihan ang simpleng paliwanag niya.

"That's what I said," Kuya Axe said, his lips slightly protruding.

"Oh, 'wag ka iiyak. Kumain ka na lang, bebe," ngisi ni Ate Izzy sabay abot ng hotdog na nasa stick. Kukunin na sana iyon ni Kuya Axe nang bawiin niya. "Opps! Huwag na hotdog. Mani na lang, gusto mo? Mahilig ka rin doon, 'di ba?"

Kuya Axe's eyes widened a fraction. And because the light here is so bright, his face turning red was so apparent. Kumunot ang noo ko at bumaling kay Ate Harley na kinalabit ako para ibigay ang isang stick ng barbecue.

Biglang tumayo si Ate Veron nang humupa ang kuwentuhan at tawanan.

"Banyo lang," aniya at sumulyap sa mga kaibigang tahimik at pumipikit-pikit na.

"Sama 'ko. Kanina pa ako naiihi!" Tumayo rin si Eris at gumewang nang kaunti.

"Ba't 'di ka pa umihi kanina?" May bahid ng iritasyon ang boses ni Ate Veron at naglakad na.

"E, siyempre, takot ako! Bakit parang galit ka, 'te?"

Nilingon ko ang nasa kabilang dulo ng couch. Kuya Ral and Ate Eden switched seats. Si Kuya Wai at Ate Asia, patuloy pa ring umiinom, nakangisi pareho at mapupungay ang mga mata. They are currently having a drinking competition. Kuya Ral was against it but he couldn't stop Ate Asia. Ate Eden looked worried for her friend, too, and resorted to trying to convince my cousin to waver but failed.

Abot nang abot sa akin si Ate Harley ng pagkain na malugod kong tinatanggap. She had me sitting in between her legs earlier, while Kuya Rain swapped with Ate Izzy's spot. Busy si Kuya sa phone niya tulad ni Kuya Aji sa harap namin. Habang ang dalawa nitong katabi na sina Ate Izzy at Kuya Axe ay nanonood ng kung ano sa kanilang phone.

"Psst..." Ate Harley chuckled against my ear. "Are you still mad at me, baby?"

Her arms slid around my waist, drawing me closer to her. Being in her arms was cozy and comfortable because I liked the feeling of being hugged from the back and it reminded me of someone. Palagi niya ring hinahalikan ang pisngi ko na kulang na lang ay kagatin niya ito.

"I'm not mad at you, Ate Harley," sagot ko habang umiiling.

She placed her chin on my shoulder and kissed my cheek loudly. Nilingon ko siya at naabutan ang mabibigat niyang tingin sa akin. I may not be able to smell her but I could feel the reek of alcohol through her breath fanning my face.

Nakita kong napatingin sa amin si Ate Izzy. Kanina pa ako patingin-tingin sa suot niyang knitted cardigan na may pamilyar na pattern. Kinalabit niya ang katabi at may binulong dito.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you before. I was harsh and rude. I shouldn't have told you that," buntonghininga niya. "Please, forgive me..."

Something tugged at my heart. Unshed tears taunted the corners of my eyes.

"I forgive you, Ate..." My voice was shaking. "I understand where you are coming from. Kung... sakaling may manakit man sa pamilya ko... baka ganoon din po ang masabi ko."

Bumuga siya at isinama ako sa paghilig niya sa sandalan. She was still hugging me. She even used my hand to slapped Kuya's arm. Napalingon tuloy ako kay Kuya sa tabi namin na nanonood at nakakunot ang noo sa amin.

"Si Ate 'yon," sabi ko habang nakanguso.

Ate giggled and used my hand again to slap Kuya's face now.

"Ano ba?" He was pissed now. "'Te, bitiwan mo nga si Tala."

"Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day," kanta ni Ate sa pagitan ng bungisngis.

Umirap si Kuya at binalik ang atensyon sa kaniyang cell phone. I pouted and peeked on his phone. May ka-chat siya. Before I could see the name of his chat mate, Ate pulled me closer to her.

Kuya Edgee's roar of laugh disturbed the silence. Napatingin kami sa kaniya at naabutan siyang nakalingon kay Racer na mukhang kababalik lang sa kung saan. I surveyed around and didn't found Caster.

"Gago! Umihi ka sa pool?!"

Racer was still zipping his pants and cackling. Racer ang pangalan niya pero ang tawa niya ay parang sirang makina ng kotse kapag binubuhay.

"Kapapalinis lang ng tubig diyan kahapon, e. Parang gago," sabi ni Kuya Rain.

"Okay lang 'yan. Masarap naman ihi ko."

"Wilder, tama na 'yan!" sigaw ni Ate Izzy habang nakatingin sa pinsan ko. "Aji, awatin mo na nga 'yang bata mo at baka maging uwak na!"

"Hayaan mo na."

"Aji! Isusumbong kita kay Tita Dias!"

Irritation surfaced on Kuya Aji's intoxicated face but he quickly rose from his seat, almost stumbling only if he hadn't recovered his balance fast. Mahina siyang napamura bago dumiretso kay Kuya Wilder na isang shot na lang ay mukhang babagsak na ang talukap ng mga mata.

"Wai... Wai..." Kalabit ni Kuya Aji sa balikat nito. "May alam akong tricks para 'di ka malasing agad at matalo mo 'tong si Miss Continent."

Nakatingin na kami sa kaniya ngayon. Kuya Ral glared at him while Ate Eden furrowed her brows. Wala namang sinabi si Kuya Wai at tinungga lang ang alak na nilagay ni Ate Asia sa baso niya.

"Hoy! 'Wag ka nga rito! Dadayain mo pa si Asia!" Sabay tingin ni Ate Eden kay Ate Asia. "Asia, oh, dadayain ka pa ng mga gunggong na 'to! Hindi tayo papayag!"

"'Di... puwede niya namang gawin din, e. Lagay ka lang ng ginger—"

"Huh? Saan?" Napatayo agad si Kuya Wilder at dahil sa kalasingan, nawalan ng balanse at natumba na nang tuluyan sa may mesa, dahilan kung bakit naglaglagan ang mga bote sa sahig at ilang basura ng pinagkainan.

"Holy shit!" Imbes na tulungan ay tinawanan pa ni Kuya Aji si Kuya Wai. "Hoy, tanga! Tumayo ka mag-isa! Inom pa!" sabi ng isa pang lasing bago umabang susuka.

Hindi na bumalik sina Ate Veron, Eris, at Caster. They were probably asleep in the guest rooms here. Kanina pa kasi umalis ang mga nakatatanda at sinabihang puwede naman silang matulog dito lalo pa at alam nilang mag-iinom sila.

Edgee and Racer were already dozing off on their seats. Pinalayas lang sila ni Ate Harley rito para makapag-ayos na ng mga kalat. Sina Kuya Aji at Kuya Wai ay parehong sumusuka sa gilid habang vini-video-han ni Kuya Rain at may sinasabi sa dalawa. Basing on my brother's eyes and speakng, he was inebriated, too.

"Ral, dalhin mo na lang sina Asia at Eden sa kuwarto ko. They can sleep there. I'll sleep with Veron and Eris in the guest room," Ate Harley strictly ordered despite her soused condition that was so evident in her slurring voice.

"Hindi na, Ate. Iuuwi ko na lang sila sa kanila," iling ni Kuya Ral pagkabigay ng tubig kay Ate Asia.

She was wearing his jacket, and almost lying on the couch. Ate Eden helped us clean the table. Si Kuya Axe naman ay abala sa mga bote.

"No, Ral. You let them sleep here. You can't drive them home. Nakainom ka," Ate Izzy said.

"I'm not drunk nor tipsy, Ate Izzy. Ihahatid ko na lang sila."

"Nakainom ka nga. Don't be a stubborn. Do you want to risk their safety? Kung gusto mo, dito ka na lang din matulog. 'Di na rin naman uuwi 'yang sina Wild at Aji..."

In the end, they all decided to stay here and sleepover. Umakyat na ang iba at kaming tatlo na lang nina Ate Harley at Ate Izzy ang natira sa labas para tapusin ang paglilinis. Most of the lights inside were turned off when we entered the house.

I expected our parents to be asleep in their room. Iyon kasi ang paalam ni Mama kanina dahil hindi pala siya puwedeng magpuyat. Even the dogs are most likely lodging like a hog now.

"Tala, you should go to your room upstairs. Second door to the left. Ako na maghahatid kina Eria sa labas," ani Ate nang natapos namin ang ginagawa.

Tumingin ako kay Ate Izzy. "'Di po kayo matutulog dito?"

"Hindi po. Magtatampo si Axe kapag natulog pa ako rito." She smirked.

I tilted my head. "Bakit naman po? Hindi na po ba kayo kasya?" Lumingon ako kay Ate Harley para humingi ng sagot.

Humalakhak si Ate Harley. "Well, kasya naman silang lahat dito... but..."

"Axe don't do sleepovers, Tala."

Tumango ako. Kaya rin siguro hindi siya pinainom kanina. Or maybe, he just doesn't drink alcohol.

Ate handed me Kuya Aji's monetary gift to me before I climbed upstairs. I somehow familiarized myself in this house back when the times we come over here as a guest. Hindi ko inaasahan na ang dating bahay lang na pinupuntahan ko, magiging bahay rin ng pamilya ko.

My hand flew to my mouth as I yawned. Nakarating ako sa pinto ng kuwartong tinutukoy ni Ate Harley. The doorknob wasn't locked, so I was able to enter my room without bothering anyone to ask for the key.

I didn't turn on the light as I stepped inside. I leaned back on the door after closing it silently. Pinuno ko ng hangin ang baga at hinihilot ang sentido. Kanina pa ako nahihilo pero hindi ko ipinakita sa harap ng iba. I could endure it now myself.

Seclusion unclogged the seal on my tear ducts. Nagkarera ang mga luha pababa sa aking pisngi. I covered my mouth in an attempt to suppress my sobs as though somebody could hear me.

These new people in my life made me preoccupied for the past five hours. But that didn't change the fact that something was missing. My family's complete. Pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilang mangulila... lalo na kay Twyla.

After draining myself from tears of bereavement, I let my hand creep on the wall beside the door to find the switch for the light. I was blinded by the light when it lorded the room. But what shook me from my spot was the fact that it wasn't me who turned the light on!

In his black shirt and faded ripped jeans, Kuya Lairgren standing tall approximately just a meter away from me made me feel that this room was small for the two of us. Nakataas pa rin ang kamay niya sa pader kung nasaan ang switch habang ang kabilang kamay ay nakapasok sa bulsa ng pantalon.

His hawk-like eyes under the shadow of his black cap pierced through me. Mabilis kong pinahid ang luha sa pisngi at umatras palayo sa kaniya.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a guttural voice.

Humakbang siya palapit. "Bakit ka umiiyak?"

Kumibot ang labi ko sa tono ng pananalita niya. Para bang naghahamon. Nagde-demand ng sagot kahit siya naman ang dapat kong kinukuwestiyon.

"The house is heavily guarded from the outside. Maraming CCTV camera sa labas at loob. How did you sneak in without getting caught? Why are you here?" matigas kong tanong.

His head craned to his left. He licked his lips without removing his gaze from me.

"Nakalimutan mo na ba? I'm a high-functioning housebreaker." Umarko ang kilay niya at humakbang palapit ulit sa akin. "I sneak in when the house owners are vulnerable. It's the best time to outsmart them."

"And you're proud of it? Breaking into someone else's house, let alone in a girl's room?"

He scoffed. His lips then curled into an amused smirk but his eyes were dangerous.

I know that he couldn't do it alone. Siguradong tinulungan siya ng kaibigan niyang tumulong sa amin makatakas noon sa bahay nina Kuya Dwight.

"Oo," malamig niyang sagot hindi kalaunan. "Proud ako sa ginawa ko. Kasi kung hindi ko ginawa 'yon, hindi kita makikita ngayon. Hindi kita makakausap..."

Nabasag ang kaniyang boses. Yumuko siya at kinagat ang labi nang panandalian.

"Kasi, tangina, akala ko makikita kita na masaya. 'Di ba? Kasi finally, kasama mo na mag-celebrate ang tunay mong pamilya. Tanggap mo na sila. Tanggap ka nila. Hindi ba... ikinatatakot mong hindi ka nila tanggapin? Pero kita mo... tanggap at mahal na mahal ka nila..."

Nagbanta muli ang luha ko sa mga mata. Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagpunta sa kama. This is going to be the bed I'm going to lie myself for the next... years, I guess.

Hindi pa ako nakakarating sa kama nang sakupin ng kamay niya ang braso ko. Hinigit niya ako para paharapin sa kaniya. Even though his face was shadowed because of the light behind him, the glint on his eyes didn't escape from my sight.

He swallowed hard. "I answered your questions. Now, answer mine. Bakit ka umiiyak? Pinipigilan mo ang hikbi mo kanina. Kahit hindi kita nakikita sa dilim, naririnig at nararamdaman kita. Kahit pa sa pagkakaalam mo ay mag-isa ka na lang nang pumasok ka rito, na hindi ka naman nila nakikita at naririnig, tinatago mo ang mga hikbi mo. Bakit? Huh?"

Hinawakan niya na ngayon ang magkabilang braso ko at pilit akong hinaharap sa kaniya. He even bent down to level his face on mine and search for my vision.

I was stern with my decision to not entertain his question. I should make him leave, shouldn't I? Mali 'tong ginagawa niya! Aminado akong kinunsinti ko siya noon sa mga ginagawa niyang ganito, pero hindi na ngayon!

This is my family's territory. Our house. If only he was invited, or my parents had known about his appearance in our house instead of breaking inside, I might let him stay.

"Umalis ka na rito!" Tinulak ko siya sa dibdib at ilang subok na alisin ang kamay niya sa braso ko. "Umalis ka na. Please! Baka may makakita pa sa 'yo rito—"

"Wala akong pake kung may makakita sa akin ngayon dito," pagmamatigas niya. "Mag-usap tayo. Sandali lang—"

"Puwes, ako, meron!" I lasered my eyes on him. "Umalis ka na. Tutal diyan ka naman magaling, hindi ba? You only show up and then leave whenever you want to. And when I ask you where you've been, you will never tell me. You will never tell me the reason for your departure. So might as well don't ever show up again!"

Patuloy ako sa pagpupumiglas sa kaniyang hawak pero mas lalo lang niya akong hinapit palapit sa kaniya. Hindi pa nakukuntento, pinadulas niya ang isang braso sa baywang ko at halos idikit sa kaniya.

My eyes rounded and so as my lips when he dipped his head to the side, moving his nose closer to my mouth. Halos matunaw ang mga binti ko nang marinig ang paghinga niya nang malalim. Ang kamay kong nanlalaban kanina ay nakakapit na lang ngayon sa braso niya.

His eyelids were now heavy as he pinned me with his eyes. "Nakainom ka..." deklara niya.

My teeth voluntarily jailed my bottom lip. Bumagsak doon ang tingin niya at napaawang ang sariling labi.

"Ano ngayon? P-Pinayagan naman ako..." Ang boses kong nagmamatapang ay biglang nanliit sa huli.

His eyes prolonged their function directly on my lips until he closed them firmly. When I felt his cage loosen around me, I gathered my strength and pushed him away from me. But he recovered fast and pulled my waist again toward his chest.

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko nang maramdaman ang init ng dibdib niya sa akin. "U-Umalis ka na kasi..."

"Marami kang ininom?"

"Bakit ka ba nagtatanong? Sino ka ba? Umalis ka na nga!" Tinulak ko siya ulit sa dibdib. "Kapag hindi ka pa umalis, isusumbong kita ngayon din!"

Pinakawalan niya ako. Akala ko ay natakot na sa wakas sa banta ko. Pero pumunta lang siya sa kama ko at prenteng umupo sa gilid nito.

I swallowed hard as I watched his biceps flexed when he crossed his arms over his chest. Mataman niya akong tiningnan gamit ang naghahamon na mga mata.

"Sige... isumbong mo ako. Magpapahuli ako."

My fingers curled into my palm. Patadyak akong naglakad patungo sa kaniya. He didn't even raise his head to meet my eyes. Nagsisimula nang kumulo ang dugo ko.

"Ano ba? Sinabi nang umalis ka na. Ano ba ang hindi mo maintindihan doon? Tagalog naman 'yon!"

Kumiling na naman ang ulo niya habang pinapanood ako, mukhang naghihintay na lang na sumabog ako nang tuluyan. A wicked smile emerged on his lips like he was watching an entertaining science experiment.

"Ano ba!" Tinulak ko na ang matikas niyang balikat. "Alis!"

"Bakit hindi ka pa magsumbong?" hamon niya, hindi man lang natibag kahit kaunti.

"I don't want to bother them. Besides, you're an expert when it comes to leaving without notice. They don't have to know that you snuck in here. They might, though, but not now. Just leave..."

Tumahimik siya at huminga nang malalim. Matagal niya akong tinitigan na para bang namamangha sa kung ano. Tinapik niya ang espasyo sa tabi pagkatapos alisin ang cap at ilagay iyon sa kama.

"Umupo ka. Mag-uusap tayo nang maayos," mahinahon niyang utos. "Pagkatapos, aalis na ako katulad ng gusto mo."

"I don't want to have a talk with you. I just want you to leave. What do you not—"

My litany halted when he captured my wrist and tugged me with force to sit on his lap sideways. I was caught on the hop that I forgot what I was saying! Lalo pa at kulong ako ng bakal niyang braso ang baywang ko.

Nilapit niya ang bibig sa tainga ko dahilan para magtayuan ang balahibo ko sa batok at braso.

"Ayaw mo sa tabi ko... dito ka sa kandungan ko habang nag-uusap tayo," he whispered rather sensually with hoarse voice.

Heat spread on my cheeks. Hindi ko na mahanap ang dila ko. His chest's warmth was brushing against my arm through his shirt.

"Sasagutin mo ang mga tanong ko," he ruled in a strict, low tone. "At sasagutin ko ang mga tanong mo. Kung meron. Ano?"

Wala sa sarili akong napatango. Where did my tongue go? He probably hypnotized me or something!

"Marami kang ininom na alak? Sagot..."

Umiling ako. "K-kaunti lang. They made cocktails for me. I only had three glasses..."

He nodded, I saw in my peripheral.

"Did you have fun..." he questioned lazily. "Kung oo, bakit ka umiiyak kanina?"

I lowered my sight to his arm locking my legs together over my lap. Ang isa niyang braso ay nakahawak sa baywang ko.

I bit my lower lip. "I had fun with them. I cried because I missed Twyla..." Mentioning her name still hurt me.

Bahagyang pumisil ang kamay niya sa gilid ng hita ko. Unti-unti kong inangat ang mukha at hinarap siya. He was watching me with his mouth agape and his eyes wary.

"Iyon lang ba ang tanong mo? Kung iyon lang... uma—"

"Sa akin, wala ka bang itatanong?" putol niya sa tonong nanghihikayat.

"If I ask you, will you answer me with nothing but honesty?"

Umigting ang panga niya. "Oo."

I shifted on his lap to give him my full attention. His left eye winked when he frowned. Umayos siya ng upo at hinigpitan pa ang pag-lock sa akin. He was almost hugging me.

"That day..." maingat kong panimula, nagbabanta na ang panginginig ng boses. "You saw me. You heard me. But... why did you let them abduct me?"