Chapter 37

"What are you doing here?"

After almost three years... I saw my mother again. Bahagyang kumirot ang puso ko habang pinagmamasdan siya. Buhaghag ang kaniyang buhok kahit nakatali, upak na ang pisngi, at kapansin-pansin ang pagkabawas ng timbang.

She sat across from me with only a wooden table between us. I took my time observing the changes in her appearance.

"K-Kumusta ka po rito, Mommy?" naisaboses ko rin. "Pinapakain po ba k-kayo nang maayos dito?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Her eyes rolled.

Bumagsak ang mata ko sa dalang lunch bag para sa kaniya. Nilapit ko iyon sa kaniya at tipid na ngumiti.

"Dinalhan ko po kayo ng pagkain. Pang-dinner ninyo po. Hinanda po iyan ni... Tita Rappy."

Her blank face remained. "So, did you finally meet and acknowledge your biological mother?"

I silently bobbed my head. When I tried jumping off the building that night, Kuya El came, and it knocked my head to return to my rational thinking. I was shot by someone being hunted by the authorities until now.

After all the unfortunate events in my life, luck was on my side during that time. Naroon sina Kuya Wilder, Kuya Rain pati ang mga magulang ng huli. I was ashamed for thinking of ending my life that I refused to talk to them. But eventually, with Kuya Rain and Kuya Wai's persistence, napapayag akong sumailalim sa DNA test through swab.

While waiting for the result, doon pa rin muna ako sa bahay namin nanatili kasama si Kuya Rain. Mahigit isang linggo lang ang hinintay bago makuha ang resulta.

"Mabait din po sila, Mommy," I told her after a short reminiscing. "At... tanggap na tanggap po nila ako."

Contrary to what I thought of them repudiating me. Pero saka ko napagtanto na kung ayaw nila sa akin, dapat ay hindi na nila ako pina-DNA test una pa lang.

"Good. Is that what all you want to say?" Malamig pa rin ang boses niya. "Kasi kung wala na, puwede ka nang umalis. Naiiirita na ako sa pabalik-balik mo rito kaya nilabas lang kita ngayon—"

"I missed you, Mommy." Bumuhos agad ang luha ko. "I missed you, really. I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough to be your daughter. I'm sorry if you are here because of me..."

I wiped my own tears but they kept on flowing like a free river. Nalaman ko na ang buong pangyayari simula nang na-kidnap kami noon hanggang sa na-comatose ako. I know Mommy could be harsh to me, but I didn't know she could do that for me.

Tumingin siya kanan upang iwasan ang tingin sa akin. Kitang-kita ko ang pag-alon ng lalamunan niya at paggalaw ng panga. Ang paggalaw ng dibdib niya ay bumilis nang kaunti.

"Umalis ka na."

"Mahal na mahal po kita, Mommy," I croaked. "At alam ko pong mahal n'yo rin ako kahit—"

"Umalis ka na sabi!" Hinampas niya ang mesa at galit akong tiningnan. "Hindi kita mahal, puwede ba? Hindi kita tunay na anak kaya bakit kita mamahalin?!"

Her voice cracked. Her eyes were misty, red and fierce. Tila ba nilalabanan ang nagbabadyang luha sa pamamagitan nang pagtalim ng tingin sa akin.

She was always like that. She never showed me her real feelings—only her cold and ferocious side. She was never warm to me. Pero kahit ganoon, hindi ko pa rin talaga makuhang magalit nang buo. Nang matagal. Nang malala.

Her ways of showing filial love may be different from other parents but now, I accepted it wholeheartedly. Alam kong pinag-isipan ko rin nang hindi maganda si Mommy lalo na noong panahong hindi siya naniwala sa akin at pinalayas ako. But it will never suppressed my care and love for her as the mother who raised me.

"Kung hindi mo po ako mahal, bakit ka po nandito?"

"Why do you think so?" Nanliit ang mata niya sa akin. "Tingnan mo ang suot ng mga kasama ko. Tingnan mo ang mukha ko. Do you think I'm happy here? Do you think I'm doing well in this fucking rotting place?"

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi at napayuko. "Sorry, Mommy..."

"Stop fucking apologizing. I don't need it. Hindi ako mapapalabas ng sorry mo rito sa punyetang lugar na 'to!"

Napatalon ang balikat ko. Sinaway siya ng isang nagbabantay na pulis dahil sa lakas ng boses pero wala siyang pakialam doon.

"You believed..." mahina kong sinabi. "Thank you for believing my words, Mommy."

Nanahimik siya. Pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri sa ibabaw ng kandungan ko. Even if it was too late, I wanted to let her know that believing my words was the best feeling I've ever felt. Lalo na kapag ang paniniwala ay nagmula sa taong pinagkatiwalaan mo, minamahal, at higit sa lahat ay kapamilya.

There are so many people who are afraid to speak because they think no one will believe them. Victims want to be heard first, not to be criticized and blamed.

"Why..." Mommy's voice weakened. "Why are you making this hard for me?"

I lifted my gaze to her. My lips went ajar when tears sprouted from her eyes.

"Mommy..."

"Why do you have to be like this, Eulalie?"

Eulalie. Tinawag niya ulit ako sa pangalang ngayon ko na lang ulit narinig mula sa iba. Pinalis niya ang luha sa pisngi at kumurap-kurap na umiwas ng tingin sa akin.

"I don't want to see you again after this," she told me again in her cold voice. "Don't waste your time with me. Spend your time with the people who truly care about you. I'm not one of them. I'm not your mother. And you're not my daughter."

Padarag siyang tumayo para iwanan ako. She left me with the lunch my biological mother had prepared for her. Without looking back and not planning to see me again.

There was still pain... but I was still glad that she gave me this chance to talk to her after all these years.

Bumalik na ako sa kung saan nakaparada ang sasakyan ni Kuya Rain. He was the one who sent me here. He just waited here for me as I talked with Mommy.

"You ready to go home?" he asked as soon as we were both inside his car.

Tumango ako nang marahan at ngumiti. Nilagay niya ang kamay sa ulo ko at hinaplos iyon.

"Wala silang alam na ngayon ka uuwi," aniya.

"E 'di surprise po!"

"Siguradong may maiinggit na naman mamaya..." He chuckled.

Humagikgik ako. Alam ko kasi na ang tinutukoy niya ay si Kuya Wilder. 

"Pero magpinsan na rin po kami. I can be his real little sister na!"

Umukit ang pagtutol sa mukha niya. "No... akin ka lang. Pinsan ka lang niya, aking kapatid ka." Sabay iling niya at binawi ang kamay.

"Ang possessive mo po palang maging kapatid," puna ko habang binubuhay niya ang makina.

Lumaki ang mga mata niya at napalingon sa akin. He pressed his lips and his cheeks turned pink.

"W-What did you say?"

I smirked and then pouted when his eyes turned pitch black.

"I'm not possessive!" giit niya at nagbuhol lalo ang kilay.

"Okay po. Pero ba't ka po nauutal?"

Madiin niyang pinindot ang gitna ng manibela dahilan para umalulong ang matinis na busina.

"Kuya naman..." Lumabi ako habang hawak ang tainga.

Natigilan siya at muling napaharap sa akin habang awang ang labi. He observed me as though he was waiting for my evolution. Parang 'yong sa Pokemon na nag-e-evolve? Ganoon.

Bigla siyang ngumisi at napailing.

Hindi na siya nagtanong tungkol sa pinag-usapan namin ni Mommy. Pero sa pagtitig niya pa lang kanina sa mga mata ko, palagay ko naman ay may ideya na siya sa posibleng kinahinatnan ng pag-uusap namin ni Mommy.

It was Kuya Rain who supplied me the summary of events during the time I was held captive. Mommy confronted Daddy about my allegation of him... sexually harassing me. And my father, who was guilty of his crimes, admitted his mistakes to my mother.

Mommy was furious. Sa sobrang galit niya, napatay niya si Daddy. Mahal ni Mom si Dad kaya imposibleng dahil lang doon kaya niya nagawa iyon. She could've just reported him to the police, but she did the worst. I figured there must be a deeper reason for her to commit that crime. And maybe what I had told her was just the trigger she waited so long to pull.

"Ate Harley might be at home tonight. Gusto ka raw niyang makausap," aniya nang tumigil kami sa pagpula ng stoplight.

Tinigil ko ang pagpindot sa mga daliri at nilingon siya. He was looking at me.

"Galit pa po ba siya sa 'kin?" maingat kong tanong. "Baka po... ayaw niya po ako sa inyo?"

Hindi maganda ang huling pagkikita ni Ate Harley sa bahay noon lalo pa't bugbog-sarado ang kapatid niya. She detested me and Kuya Dwight. For her, I was a user, and I only bring chaos to her brother. I couldn't blame her for being protective of her family.

"Ate Li can be aggressive and overprotective but she's kind. She knows when she's at fault and she knows when to apologize," sagot niya.

Wala akong sinabi. Bumuga siya ng hanging at nagpatuloy.

"She didn't know that you're our sister until recently. You don't have to worry about her hurting you. She won't do it again."

Tipid akong tumango. "Naiintindihan ko po."

"She will understand you," he added before glancing at me. "I hope you two get along. I just hope you two will not be the cause of my death."

Lumabi ako. Mahigit dalawang oras din ang biyahe dahil sa traffic. Nakahanda na naman ang mga gamit ko sa kuwarto kaya nagtulungan na lang kami ni Kuya Rain na dalhin iyon sa labas at ilagay sa likod ng sasakyan niya.

Pagkatapos niyang i-check ang bawat bintana, pinto, at mga saksakan ay ni-lock niya na lahat nang puwedeng i-lock sa bahay. He handed me the keys after locking the gate.

"You keep it. If you want to go back here, just tell us first," he said.

Binigyan ko ng huling tingin ang naging tahanan ko sa loob ng ilang taon. Si Kuya Rain ang kumimbinsi sa akin na ngayon kami umuwi sa kanila—ang tahanan ng tunay kong pamilya.

"But if you go back here, I hope it's only for a visit, not for staying..." dagdag niya sa mababang tono.

I gave him a small smile. I held his hand "My new home is with you... and our parents. From now on, I will live and stay with you, Kuya."

Hinila niya ako at kinulong sa mainit niyang bisig. He stroked my head gently.

"Thank you, Tala."

The distance from my old house to my new home turned closer as the four wheels carrying us cruised along the roadway. Bumibilis ang pintig ng puso ko at panay ang sulyap ko sa bintana nang hawakan ni Kuya ang palapulsuhan ko at hinaplos iyon gamit ang hinlalaki.

"Relax ka lang. Walang kakain sa 'yo sa bahay," he chuckled.

Tuluyan na akong dinaga ulit nang tumigil ang sasakyan niya sa tapat at pagitan ng dalawang magkahiwalay na hagdanan paakyat sa tanggapan nila. He grabbed his phone from the dashboard and it took some few seconds before he turned to me.

"Ready to meet them again?"

Ngumiti ako nang matamis. Inakbayan ako ni Kuya habang paakyat sa hagdan. Inangat ko ang tingin sa kaniya. He was chewing the side of his bottom lip but it seemed he was trying to hide a smile.

Sarado ang double-door nila, hindi tulad ng laging naabutan ko kapag pumunta rito na bukas ang isa o pareho. Their door has a smart lock. It requires a password or biometrics. He pulled down the lever handle after placing his thumb over the fingerprint scanner.

Tinulak niya iyon bago kami tuluyang pumasok. Kasabay naming pumasok ang liwanag mula sa labas dahil patay ang ilaw sa loob. Kumunot ang noo ko nang isara ni Kuya Rain ang pinto nang wala pa ring ilaw sa loob. Although it wasn't that dark, dumikit ako lalo sa kaniya at hinila ang laylayan ng damit niya.

His hand on my shoulder slid down my back.

"Walang tao, Kuya?"

Pagkatapos ng tanong ay saktong bumukas ang ilaw at may sumabog na kung ano. I jumped in suprise and fear.

"Happy birthday, Tala!"

"Welcome home, Tala!"

"Happy welcome birthday!"

Sabay-sabay kong narinig.

"Akala ko ba unity tayo? Welcome home nga muna bago happy birthday!"

Lumingon ako sa may gitna ng living room kung nasaan ang mga sofa at center table. Nakahilera ang mga taong sumigaw ng bati. Sa gitna sina Tita Rappy na malaki ang ngiti at Tito Trivo na nakangisi. Nasa kaliwa nila sina Ate Harley, Ate Izzy, Kuya Axasiel, at Kuya Raghnall na pare-parehong nakasuot ng birthday hat pero mukhang labag sa loob ng dalawang lalaki ang mukha habang pumapalakpak. Ang dalawang babae ay may party blowers sa bibig na paulit-ulit nilang hinihipan.

Sa kanan naman ay naroon sina Tita Lei at Tito Brant kasama ang apat na hindi pamilyar na dalawang babae at lalaki na mukhang kaedaran lang nila. One of the unfamiliar tall man was holding a gold-wrapped confetti popper. Iyon siguro ang pumutok kanina kaya ang kalat ng sahig.

Wait, I thought we'll be the ones to surprise them? Not the other way around!

Tumingin ako kay Kuya Rain na naabutan ko pang umiwas ng tingin sa akin. He fooled me!

"Kanta na! Kanta na! Ano ba!" si Kuya Wilder na may hawak na cake at nasa harap.

"One! Two! Three!" bilang ni Kuya Ajasiel. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!"

Nagsimulang umindak ang mga paa at balakang nilang dalawa ni Kuya Wilder habang lumalapit sa akin. They were all singing the speed-up birhday song. The two unfamiliar elder men bent forward and stuck out their buttocks while still singing.

Kuya Rain pushed my back a bit to advanced in their direction. Upon meeting Kuya Wilder and Kuya Ajasiel halfway, the latter put on the party hat over my head. Nakita ko ang suot niya nang malapitan at natantong naroon ang mukha ko!

The next thing I knew, they were all surrounding me, including Tita Rappy and Tito Trivo. Tita Lei was struggling holding up her iPhone fixed on me, but Tito Brant grabbed it from her.

"Happy birthday, Miss Smurf!" Ngumisi si Kuya Ajasiel at pinisil ang pisngi ko bago gumilid.

Pinisil din ni Kuya Wai ang kabila kong pisngi sabay yuko para kagatin ang pisngi ko nang marahan. He was holding the cake with one hand. Kuya Rain wiped my cheek before smacking Kuya Wai's head.

"Happy bidet, Miss Minion! Look! It's your tukayo!" Humalakhak siya at nginuso ang round cake na may maliliit na minion sa ibabaw.

"Happy birthday, Tala..." si Tita Rappy na ngayon ay nasa harapan ko na katabi si Tito Trivo.

Her smile was inevitably warming and genuine. Humaplos iyon sa puso ko.

"Thank you po... pero tapos na po ang birthday ko." Ngumiti ako.

Kuya Wai pouted. "Hindi late! Ngayon talaga ang OG birthday mo!"

Sumingit si Ate Harley. "Oh, oh, ba't ka nagagalit, bubwit?"

"Tantanan mo 'ko, 'te, mas malaki na 'ko sa 'yo—ah! Mama!" Kuya Wai ducked when Ate Harley pulled his ear.

Agad na may sumaway sa kanila. Sina Tita Lei, Tito Brant, at Tito Trivo. Tapos 'yong dalawang lalaking matangkad na 'di ko kilala, nanulsol pa habang sumisipol. The two women, which I perceived their wives, scolded them.

"Akin na nga 'yang cake at baka mapaano! Sayang!" ani Ate Izzy at agad kinuha ang cake sa nanganganib na hawak ni Kuya Wai sabay hanap kay Kuya Axe na nasa likuran na. "Baby Axe, light the candle, please?" malambing nitong tanong.

Tumigil 'yong isang sumisipol at kinatok ang ulo ni Ate Izzy. "Hoy, Isra! Ayusin mo 'yang tono mo ah, at naiirita ako!"

"My God, Third, will you please let them be?" saway ng babaeng katabi nitong naka-ponytail.

"Hindi, e! Laki-laking tao ng anak ni Miko tapos bini-baby lang! May baby bang six footer?!"

Habang nag-uusap ang dalawa ay dumukwang si Kuya Ajasiel sa gitna namin ni Tita Rappy para sumali sa nagkakagulo. Natulak niya tuloy si Kuya Axe na lalapit sana para sindihan ang kandila.

"Bitawan mo 'yang alaga ko, Harley! Ako lang mananakit diyan!"

"Aji!" the woman with a wavy dark brown hair called. "Miko, pigilan mo nga 'yang anak mo. Ano'ng silbi mo diyan?"

Ang tinawag na Miko ay hindi pinansin ang sinabi ng huling nagsalita. Sa halip ay kinuwelyuhan nito ang tinawag na Third. Sila 'yong nagsasayaw kanina na magkahawak ang kamay.

"Ano, Bisente? Selos ka ba? Gusto mo i-baby ka rin kahit kulubot ka na?"

Napakamot ako sa ulo. Tita Rappy looked troubled while watching the chaotic guests. At the back of them, I saw Kuya Raghnall standing with an inverted smile while holding Tita Lei's iPhone in the air.

"Nangangawit na ako!" reklamo ni Ate Izzy. "Axe!"

"Opo!"

"Fuck this," Kuya Rain muttered beside me. "Kuya Axe, lighter."

Kuya Axe—who never had the chance to come closer— threw the light in Kuya Rain's direction. Hinila ako ni Kuya palayo sa kanila. Tita Rappy, Ate Izzy, and Kuya Axe followed us. Nang napalingon si Tito Trivo sa amin ay mabilis din siyang lumapit at pinabayaan ang iba.

"I'm sorry about them," Tita Rappy said as she held my hand. "I didn't expect this to be... chaotic."

I chuckled. "Ayos lang po."

Kinuha ni Kuya Axe ang cake mula kay Ate Izzy. Binigay naman ni Kuya ang lighter kay Tito Trivo at sa wakas, nasindihan din ang kandila.

"Make a wish! Make a wish!" excited na sigaw ni Ate Izzy.

Bago ko isara ang mata, nakangiti na si Tita Rappy sa harapan ko. I wished for a miracle. And when I opened my eyes, Tita Rappy's smile didn't vanish.

"Blow the candle now, baby," si Kuya at tinapik ang likod ko.

I did what he said. Ate Izzy clapped before she hugged and kissed me.

"Yehey! Happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday, Tala," magkasabay ang malamig na boses ni Tito Trivo at malamyos na boses ni Tita Rappy.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Tita Rappy. I observed her face longer than necessary to find the features that we resemble. Ang brown na buhok, manipis na kilay, makurbang pilikmata, maliit ngunit may tamang taas ng ilong ay nakuha ko sa kaniya. Ang kabuuhang hugis ng mukha niya ay tulad ng sa akin, subalit mas matambok ang aking pisngi.

I didn't inherit her round and blue eyes. Mine's brown and chinky. Her lips were deep pink and shaped like a bow. I have plump and pouty lips with no curve at all. Kulay rosas din pero hindi ganoon katingkad ng sa kaniya.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya. I gave her a benign smile before I embraced her. She felt like home—warm, comfy, and safe. Like the person I used to feel the same way.

"Thank you po..."

"Welcome home, anak." Her voice was shaking as she placed her hands on my back to caress it. "Thank you for coming home. For coming to us, Tala."

"MISS MINION? What treachery is this?!" sigaw ni Kuya Wai kaya napahiwalay ako kay Tita Rappy.

Nagkarambulan ulit nang lumapit sila sa akin. Pinangunahan nina Kuya Wai, Kuya Ajasiel, Ate Harley, at 'yong dalawang lalaking matanda kanina na 'di pa pinakikilala. Sumama na sa pag-awat si Kuya Rain pero dahil nasiko niya si Ate Harley sa dibdib, sinabunutan siya agad nito.

Lumapit si Kuya Raghnall na wala na ang hat at nakabusangot na ang mukha. Halos ihampas niya ang iPhone sa dibdib ni Kuya Axe na agad naman iyong kinuha.

"Tita Rappy, I'm hungry," Kuya Raghnall said.

"Ral, ano ka ba? Mag-wait ka nga!" ani Ate Izzy.

"Should we bring this to the kitchen?" si Kuya Axe na tinutukoy ang cake. "Para makakain na rin."

"Oo nga po, Tita Rappy. Doon na tayo sa kusina para makakain na!" maligayang sinabi naman ngayon ni Ate Izzy at kumapit sa libreng braso ni Kuya Axe.

Ah, oo nga pala! Magkasintahan sila. Bumuntonghininga ako nang may naalala.

"Tss..." Umirap si Kuya Raghnall at umismid.

Lumingon si Tita Rappy at hinawakan ang braso ni Tito Trivo. "Love, patigilan mo na rin sila at dumiretso na sa kusina. We'll go first."

Ginulo ni Tito Trivo ang buhok niyang medyo mahaba at kulot. "Alright." Sumulyap sa akin ang mapungay niyang mata.

Hinawakan ako ni Tita Rappy sa braso at giniya patungo sa dining area. Rinig ko naman agad ang mura at sinabi ni Tito Trivo sa ibang naiwan sa sala. Ate Izzy, Kuya Axe, and Kuya Raghnall were behind us. May binubulong si Ate na hindi ko marinig.

"I'm sorry about them, Tala. Ganiyan talaga sila kapag magkakasama lalo't minsan na lang din mangyari ang ganito. You'll get used to them. Some of our close friends and relatives will come here later. Ipakikilala kita sa lahat."

Humagikgik sa likuran si Ate Izzy at agad sinaway ni Kuya Raghnall.

"It's okay po, Tita Rappy. Ang saya nga po, e... ang dami ninyo." Ngumiti ako.

During our family's birthdays, the common visitors were just a few relatives and some business partners. Nandoon lang sila para bumati, magbigay ng regalo, at pag-usapan ang negosyo. I'd usually hang out with Kuya Dwight and Twyla in our room after eating then.

She cleared her throat. Umamo pa lalo ang kaniyang mata habang nakatingin sa akin.

"I know you're calling your mother Mommy. Now that we have proved you're my daughter... can you call me Mama instead of Tita?" She sounded hopeful.

Parang pinipiga ang puso ko. I caught the pain in her voice every time she talked to me. We were separated for nearly two decades. Nawalan siya ng anak habang ako, may mga magulang pa rin. I couldn't imagine her longing and grieving during those years of thinking that I was already dead.

She could have been the one who taught me how to speak, crawl, and walk. Kukuwentuhan bago matulog, maghahatid-sundo sa akin sa school, at papayag na marinig ang mga pangyayari sa araw ko. Those simple moments are stripped off us as a mother and child.

Kaya ang simpleng hiling niyang ito ay hindi ko ipagdadamot. This is just the start...

"Okay po, Mama." Ngumiti ako at kumislap ang kaniyang mga mata.