TW: Sexual abuse. If you are uncomfortable, please skip the chapter.

Chapter 35

The drug had taken its toll on me. I felt weak, lightweight, and vulnerable as I stirred from the effect of the substance they injected into my body. My position upon waking up resulted in my neck aching. But what concerned me more was the fact I was still inside a car, a smaller one, and all the men I saw before I passed out were gone.

Instead of them, I found my unconscious cousin, Twyla, beside me with a black tape across her mouth. Her hands were taped together in her lap. Bukas ang ilaw at aircon sa loob ng sasakyan. Sumilip ako sa salamin at kadiliman lang ang bumugad sa akin.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at sinapo ang ulo. Akala ko ba ay ihahatid ako pauwi ng tauhan ni Daddy? Bakit nandito na si Twyla at ganiyan ang itsura niya? Nasaan kami? Ano'ng ginawa nila sa pinsan ko?

I fluttered my eyes open and cupped Twyla's face. Her head fell on my shoulder. "Twy... wake up..." nanghihina ang boses ko.

Hinawakan ko ang dulo ng tape sa bibig niya para tanggalin. I was successful, but she was still dead to the world. The door on my side opened, revealing a person wearing black slacks. Nilagay ko agad ang braso sa katawan ni Twyla at tinakpan siya.

"The little girl's finally awake," the man declared outside as though talking to someone in his thick accent.

Yumuko siya at tuluyang sumilip sa loob. Our gazes met. And even through the dim light inside the car, his emerald green eyes and light skin told me he wasn't a full-blooded Filipino. Tauhan pa rin ba siya ni Daddy? Inutusan ba siya... sila na kunin kami ng pinsan ko? Pero bakit sa ganitong paraan?

Isang boses pa sa labas ang nagsalita. "Ikaw na raw ang bahala diyan. Ako na sa isa."

"Come here," the foreign guy commanded as he claimed my arm, pulling me away from my cousin. "Get out of the car while I'm still being kind, kid."

"I don't know you. Please, let us go home!" Niyakap ko lalo si Twyla kaya mas marahas nang hinila ng lalaki ang braso ko.

"I said get your fucking ass out of the car!"

Tumili ako nang isang hila niya sa akin ay nakaladkad ako palabas. Naramdaman ko ang sakit sa braso pero mas inalala ko ang pinsang napahiga sa upuan nang biglaan dahil sa pagkaalis ko roon.

"Twyla!" Sinubukan kong lumapit ulit pero hinila pa lalo ang braso ko ng may hawak sa akin. "Sir! Please, let us go home! Ayaw po gumising ng pinsan ko! Baka po ano na ang nangyari sa kaniya! Please po! I-check ninyo po siya!"

"She was just sedated. She will wake up anytime soon. Just like you."

Sedated? Bumilog ang mata ko nang naalala ang ginawa nila kanina sa akin. They injected something in me! Ganoon din ang ginawa nila sa pinsan ko?

"Now, if you want her safe when she wakes up, pacify yourself and follow all my orders," he said coldly.

Tumigil ako sa pagkukumahog makawala dahil doon. Kinaladkad niya ako palayo sa sasakyan pero naroon pa rin ang tingin ko. Nagpakita ang isang lalaki sa tabi ng pinto at kinuha palabas ang pinsan ko. Parang sako niya itong inilagay sa balikat bago isinara ang pinto ng sasakyan.

The hair on my arms and nape crawled as we entered an eerie, seemingly abandoned building. The blinking bulb on the ceiling fueled the fright I felt as the guy dragged me upstairs, dust and cobwebs in every corner. A shriek erupted from me, jumping clumsily when something ran over my feet.

Napakapit ako bigla sa braso ng may hawak sa akin sa takot. What was that?

"It was just a rat."

Binitiwan ko siya at lumingon sa likod. Walang nakasunod sa amin.

"Sir, s-saan po dinala ng kasama mo ang pinsan ko?" My eyes pooled again. "B-baka po may gagawin silang hindi maganda sa pinsan ko..."

Tumigil kami sa tapat ng isang pinto. Maayos naman iyon hindi tulad sa ilang nadaanan namin sa ibabang palapag. He twisted the doorknob and pushed it open, unveiling a room with a bed at the farthest right corner, a dirty stand fan, and a wooden table across from the bed. May mga maliliit na plastic na naroon sa ibabaw at ilan pang hindi ko alam na parapernalya.

Tinulak ako papasok sa loob ng lalaki at tuluyan nang binitiwan. Napatingin ako sa kaliwa at natagpuan ang isa pang pinto. Hinaplos ko ang braso at nilingon siyang sinara at ni-lock ang pinto sa likuran niya. Umatras ako nang sinimulan niyang i-unbutton ang damit.

"S-sir... inutusan po ba kayo ni D-Daddy na dalhin kami rito?"

He cocked his head to the other door. "That's a toilet room. Shower yourself. I want you clean."

Hinagod niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa bago bumalik sa mata ko ang kaniya.

"K-kailan ninyo po kami iuuwi?"

His jaw ticked when he finally unbuttoned his top. He brought his hand behind him and in a swift move, the cold metal mouth of a gun was pressed against the center of my forehead.

"Do what I say and make it quick or else," he threatened, and a terrifying click followed. "I might blow your cousin's head before yours."

I unwillingly obliged his order while shivering in fear. Not just because of the gun pointed at me, but more for my cousin who was dragged into this mess. Daddy's threat rang inside my head. Kung tauhan nga sila ni Daddy at pakana niya ito, ibig sabihin ba nito... nalaman niya na nagsumbong ako kay Mommy? Kaya dinadamay niya na ngayon ang pinsan ko?

Umabot si Daddy sa puntong ito? My heart twisted in pain more, and the cold water didn't wash it off. I had to be hasty. Hinila ko ang puting tuwalya na nakasampay sa banyo at ibinalot iyon sa katawan para magpunas.

Suminghap ako sa gulat at napatalon nang bumukas ang pinto. Naka-lock iyon pero mukhang may susi siya kaya nabuksan. Dire-diretso siyang lumapit sa akin at hinablot ang tuwalya sa katawan ko.

"S-sir! Ano p-pong ginagawa n'yo? A-akin na po—"

He was only wearing a boxer shorts. My protest was cut off when he forcibly pulled me out of the toilet while still naked and damp! Pagkatapos niyang ihagis ang tuwalya sa mesa, ako naman ang itinulak niya sa maliit na kama.

Kutson lang ang naroon, walang unan o kahit kumot na puwede kong itabon sa sarili. Mabilis niyang ibinaba ang natitirang suot. Umatras ako sa pinakasulok. I cried and curled my legs up on my chest, hugging myself pathetically as I evaded his stare. Agad niyang itinukod ang kaliwang tuhod sa kama at mabilis akong naikulong ng katawan niya.

"Hush, I will not hurt you." He smirked. "Oh, I might. But in another way..."

Pumungay ang mata niyang medyo namumula na ngayong natitigan ko sa malapitan. I trembled so hard when the back of his hand made its way to caress my face.

Humikbi ako at iniwas ang mukha sa hawak niya, nandidiri, naaalala ang mga pagkakataon na hinahawakan ako ng sariling ama. Was it still not enough? Did he hire this man and all the other men, to make me feel nothing but a disgusted... whore?

"P-parang awa mo na po... pakawalan n'yo na p-po kami ng pinsan ko. W-wala po kaming ginagawang masama..." Patuloy ang luha ko.

"You're so young and delicate," he whispered. "Makes me want to fuck you more and we'll see how long it takes until you break."

Umiling ako. Bumaba ang kamay niya sa braso ko at hinaplos kaya mabilis kong hinawi iyon.

"N-no! Don't t-touch me!" My voice was lacking in conviction. "Please... please, don't..."

I pushed his chest away but he was strong. Lalo niyang inilapit ang sarili hanggang sa dumikit ang dibdib niya sa mga binti ko. Niyakap ko lalo ang mga binti at sumubsob sa tuhod habang tumatangis.

I gasped when he seized my ankles and tugged me away from the wall. Napahiga ako sa pagkabigla at hindi pa man ako nakakabawi, ibinuka niya ang mga hita ko at pumuwesto sa pagitan nila. My eyes and mouth rounded as he plunged something thick and hard in between my legs, wrecking my life and sanity.

"Tama na po... ayoko na po... masakit na po..." My pleas and cries were frail and futile.

He was moaning in pleasure while I was crying in pain. Begging him to stop his disgusting movement inside me. Nagbibingi-bingihan habang nilalamon ng nakadidiring pagnanasa.

He let go of my shaking legs after I felt him spilling something inside me. I could only stare at the cobbed ceiling, struggling to gather myself but I failed. Lumaylay ang mga braso ko sa aking gilid at kahit lumisan na siya sa ibabaw ko at pagitan ng mga hita, naroon pa rin ang hapdi at kirot sa gitna.

Nanghihina kong isinara ang mga binti at tumagilid para talikuran siya. He was yet to leave the bed. Hinaplos niya ang braso ko at hindi na ako nakaiwas o nakaalma.

"T-Twy... please c-check on her..." bulong ko sa sarili.

"Alright. Don't worry, she will receive the prize and be treated better. All thanks to you..." I felt him kissing my shoulder.

Another flow of tears sprouted from my eyes. Pumikit ako at humikbi. "P-please, don't hurt my cousin..."

"Every time I fuck you, she will be given something. Every time you disobey me, she'll get hurt..." Naramdaman ko na ang hininga niya sa tainga ko. "Do you understand?"

I nodded obediently. Humaplos ang kamay niya mula sa braso ko pababa sa aking likuran. Napaigtad ako nang umabot siya sa inalipustang gitna ko.

"My cum's still dripping from your pussy, huh?" He laughed diabolically. "Oh, damn! You bled so much!"

I refused to listen to his vile and abhorrent monologue unless my cousin was concerned. No matter who was behind this abduction, he knows Twyla is my greatest Achilles heel. I would swallow even excrement to protect her from evil.

Hindi ko na alam kung gaano katagal na ako sa kuwartong iyon. I would wake up with shocking and ghastly gunshots, and alarming frantic screams came after. Parang sasabog ang dibdib ko sa takot na baka isa sa mga sumisigaw si Twyla. But the devil who always stayed with me in this suffocating room assured me my cousin was safe.

Whenever he would give me food and tell me to clean myself, a threat of hurting my cousin was affiliated. Therefore, I became a slave for his gratification. And after having my meal or shower, he would hurt me the same way he did the first night.

Nagtatabi ako ng pagkain na ibinibigay niya tulad ng crackers. Ibibigay ko iyon kay Twyla. Baka mamaya... hindi pala siya pinapakain nang maayos. Lalo na't hindi ko pa siya nakikita.

"Inutusan ba kayo ni Daddy na gawin sa akin ito?" ang paulit-ulit kong tanong sa kaniya sa tuwing natatapos siyang paglaruan ang katawan ko. "Until when do you plan on keeping us here?"

He was smoking while sitting on a monoblock chair facing me. Nakabihis na siya at nakaligo habang ako, hubad na niyayakap ang sarili. He never gave me a piece of cloth since then. And he would only lend me a pillow and a thin blanket at night to sleep on.

Bumuga siya ng usok at umusli ang sulok ng labi bago ako sinagot, "Your father's the main reason why you are kept here. But I am not following his order. He's not my boss, sweetheart."

Nagparte ang labi kong nanunuyo. Maiintindihan ko pa siguro na kaya hindi pa kami pinaghahanap ngayon ay dahil alam ni Daddy at posibleng may ginawa siyang kuwento para hindi rin hanapin si Twyla sa kanila. Ang sabi rin ng kumuha sa akin ay tauhan sila ni Daddy!

But this devil just informed me that he wasn't doing this under my father's order! If it wasn't Daddy... who was behind this abduction? Why would they do this to us? Were they actual kidnappers, thus the screams every morning? Tulad din ba nila kaming biktima? Sigurado.

Nagngitngit ang ngipin ko sa namumuong galit. I recalled the events prior to my abduction. Daddy violated me. Mommy threw me out of our house. I met Kuya El. Kuya El... si Kuya El na huli kong nakasama at hinayaan akong kunin nila! At ngayon, damay pa ang pinsan ko!

Nanlabo ang mga mata ko habang iniisip ang lahat. Idagdag pa ang katotohanang hindi yata kami pinaghahanap para lang mailigtas! Hanggang kailan kami rito na maghihirap? At ang pinsan ko... ni hindi ko pa nakikita simula nang nagkahiwalay kami rito!

"I want to see my cousin," deklara ko matapos ang matagal na pag-iisip. "Please, let me see my cousin..."

Tumingala siya at umungol. Ilang sandali pa ay tumayo na siya at hinagis sa kung saan ang sigarilyo bago ako nilingon.

"I'll grant your request. Only that... I'll allow you to leave this room... still naked." Malaswa ang kaniyang tono at ang tingin sa akin.

Kumikirot pa ang pribadong parte ko nang dahan-dahang tumayo mula sa kama. Nakakatakot na para bang wala na sa akin kung makita ako ng kahit sino na walang saplot. Para bang bigla akong nasanay na hubo't hubad. Para bang ayos na lang kung ganito ang itsura ko at makita kahit nino.

It's pitiful that I can walk barely as though it is normal now. It's stomach-churning, but what's more important to me now is to see my cousin and to know if she's doing... at least better than me.

Binuksan niya ang pintuan na tinigilan namin. Halos pareho lang ng silid kung saan ako kinukulong. At sa gitna ng kama, mahimbing na natutulog ang aking pinsan. Hinayaan akong pumasok para matingnan siya nang malapitan.

She was sleeping peacefully with pillows and a blanket. Tumulo ang luha ko at napatakip sa bibig. Twyla was indeed, like what the devil said, treated better. But even though it seemed she was, the twinging ache in my heart did not falter.

My shoulders jerked when something was thrown at me. "Wear that. I'm done with you."

Nilingon ko siya. Tinalikuran niya ako at lumabas na ng silid. Pinulot ko ang nalaglag na damit at bumaling muli sa pinsan. She shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be here. Kahit maayos ang lagay niya ngayon, hindi pa rin dapat nangyayari sa amin ito ngayon. If no one would save us, I have to do it myself!

I fixed myself and checked the door. Still unlocked. I sat on the bed and watched my cousin sleeping. Ngumiti ako at hinaplos ang kaniyang buhok. She was rather pale.

"Makakaalis din tayo rito..." I told her.

Umangat ang tingin ko sa pader at napakunot ang noo nang makita ang sulat na bakod. Apat na kumpletong bakod at dalawang guhit ang nakahiwalay, hindi pa kumpleto. Twenty-two.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa pinsan nang gumalaw ang ulo niya, kasunod ang pagkibot ng mata. Slowly, her eyelids flipped open.

"Ate Tala?" she croaked.

I smiled and nodded. Napaatras ako nang kaunti sa bigla niyang pagbangon. I chuckled when her arms flung around me with urgency and eager. Kinurot ang puso ko nang marinig ang hikbi niya.

"Ate, I'm so sorry! You must be scared I wasn't with you! I'm so sorry!" iyak niya sa balikat ko. 

Kumawala na ang hagulgol sa aking bibig. She was worried about me being alone like how I was to her. We were both miserable and helpless, but I was more than happy seeing they didn't touch her.

Humiwalay siya sa akin at hinawakan ang mukha ko. Her face was damp with tears but she wiped mine first.

"Y-you don't have to worry now, Ate Tala. I'll be with you now, okay? I'm g-going to protect you from them!" she stuttered with certitude.

Tumango ako. I pulled her again into a hug and closed my eyes. She lamented again. I stroked her head and back gently to calm her. I'll calm only when she's calm. Kaya nang unti-unti nang bumagal ang alog ng balikat niya, kumalma na rin ako.

Mahapdi na ang mata ko. Nang humarap siya sa akin, pulang pula na ang ilong niya, namamaga ang mata at labi. Pinunasan ko ang pisngi niya at ngumiti.

"Pinapakain ka ba nang maayos dito? Hindi ka ba nila sinaktan?"

Sinuri ko nang mabuti ang mukha niya, ang leeg, ang mga braso, at mga binti. I sighed when I saw no trace of severity.

"Hindi po nila ako sinaktan. Pinapakain din po nila ako..." mahina niyang sinabi at lumingon sa gilid at may itinuro. "Nagtabi po ako ng pagkain na ibinibigay nila sa akin. Para sa 'yo po 'yan. Baka kasi... hindi ka po nila pinapakain nang maayos."

Kinagat ko ang labi nang mariin habang tinatanaw ang tinutukoy niya sa ibabaw ng mesa. Puro crackers din.

"Pinapakain din nila ako nang maayos," sabi ko para ibsan ang iniisip niya.

She sniffed and inspected my face and body, too. "Did they hurt you?"

I shook my head. "Hindi... okay lang ako." Ngumiti ako. "Huwag ka ring mag-alala, hindi ko na hahayaan na paghiwalayin nila tayo."

Hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko. "I'm sorry, Ate Tala. I promise you, makakaalis po tayo rito. Makakauwi rin tayo..."

Lumingon ako sa pinto saglit at ibinalik din sa kaniya ang tingin. "Twy... paano ka ba nila nakuha?"

"Some men wearing suits went to our house looking for me. They said you were waiting for me. I hesitated, I s-swear! I've never seen them... and I know if you want us to meet, you'll either call our landline first or go straight to our house."

Tumagilid ang ulo niya at kumislap na naman ang mata. "Nasa gate l-lang kami nag-uusap dahil hindi puwedeng pumasok ang hindi kakilala. Tapos... noong naramdaman nilang hindi ako naniniwala sa kanila, tinakpan nila ng panyo ang ilong ko..."

Hinaplos ko ang ulo niya at nag-isip nang malalim. Tulad sa amin, may CCTV rin sa labas ng bahay nila. I assumed those men were blatantly showing their faces, and they would be seen in the camera. Hindi naman siguro sila tanga para gawin 'yon nang harap-harapan, kaya malaki ang posibilidad na baka minanipula o sinira ang CCTV camera.

"Ilang beses po akong nagising na nasa sasakyan. Ilang beses din nila akong pinaamoy ng kung ano sa panyo. At ang... huli kong pong natatandaan ay may itinurok sila sa... braso ko," patuloy niya at ang mga mata ay bumaba sa kaliwang braso.

I swallowed hard. I couldn't imagine the fear she had to endure alone. Even though she appeared stronger than I, she was fragile. But now, we can't be weak. I need to show her that I'm not afraid and that we will make it out alive.

"Sana mahanap na tayo nina Mommy at Daddy..."

Nilibot ko ang tingin sa kuwarto. There was only an awning window at the top of the wall. We decided to conserve our energy for the next day and hit the bed. Pero habang nakahiga at magkatabi sa kama, nag-iisip ako ng posibleng paraan para makaalis dito.

Suddenly, Twyla murmured hoarsely, "Ate, I think they are going to sell our organs. Narinig ko po nag-uusap 'yong mga lalaking nagdadala ng pagkain ko rito. I can give them one of my kidneys as long they won't hurt you..."

I hugged her tighter. "Shh... you don't have to give them your kidney. They won't hurt me."

Umungol siya at sinuksok ang mukha sa aking dibdib. At long last, since we were held captive, I was at peace. The candle in the dusk was lighted with her in my arms, safe and sound.