Ello ello matey, welcome to chapter 23

Also, I have drawing commissions open if any of you are interested in that, check out my art ig 'wickd0g' and dm me for rates if you like what you see :) I only have a few slots open due to time, but I'd love to draw some stuff for y'all :3

Okay! So what you guys are here for! The new chapter,,,, there's some much needed fluff I think lol

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How can we have a normal life after this?

Floyd's sobs have long since ended, but the water that flows from them seems to have no end.

How can they pick themselves back up from this?

The stunned, cold silence was a thick cloud haloing Henry's head and darkened eyes.

What if Mikey... is never the same again?

You look down at Leo's hands clenched tight around the steering wheel.

What if he's not even in there anymore?

How awful a thought that was. This horrendous web grew with every thought, tying tight around your brain to suffocate any glimmer of hope you might still desperately cling to.

Cold pooling of helplessness sloshed about inside your shell of a body. There was nothing you could about it, so you held tight to the only thing grounding your sanity to this reality.

You snuggled your face into his neck, seeking comfort as your arms gently cradled his shoulders.

The van began to come to a slow stop. Everyone simply sat, stewing in the event's that stained their horrors onto our minds. Frozen in time by our own fragile states of mind.

Has it always been so dark in here?

The only one who dared to move was Raph, wrapping his arms around his absentminded brother and attempting to pick him up from the seat he was placed in.

This set off the chain reaction of awakening from the pits of everyone's minds.

Donnie quickly got up to help him with Mikey, sliding open the door loudly. Floyd sniffed, wiping his shirt collar against his eyes before going over to the turtle brothers, dipping under Mikey's other arm to help Raph support his brother.

Raph stared at Floyd for a moment before they both heaved Mikey out of the chair, carefully maneuvering themselves out of the Shell Raiser as Mikey's feet dragged behind him limply.

Henry, glances at you before tipping his head back down, silently getting up and stalking out. He moved like a ghost.

It was totally still in the van, it made you begin to wonder what was going through Leo's mind. You brought your eyes back to him as he simply stared forward, a crease between his brows.

As tempting as it was, you didn't say anything in effort to comfort him. At this point, it would be more for yourself then him, and there was no doubt in your mind he needed some time to digest everything. Your hand planted itself on Leo's shoulder as if to ground him firmly for a few seconds. His hand placed itself over yours as he looked up to you over his shoulder, his eyes were exhausted. You smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze before stepping away, leaving him to himself.

As you hopped the van's steep drop onto the abandoned platform, the chorus of excited voices began to call out to you all.

Casey ran up and met the brothers. "You got him back!" He cheered happily, followed closely by April and Splinter as they crossed the pay meters.

Raph cracked a strained grin. "Of course we did."

Casey's eyes shifted to Floyd's lowered head as he held up the right side of the youngest turtle. "What's with the long face, Floyd?" He peered over his shoulder to the rest of us before looking back to Floyd with a wide, yet confused smile. "Everyone's still here and kicking!" He laughed light heartedly.

Henry visibly flinched as he stared his skulking trajectory into a quiet area away from everyone.

Floyd couldn't quite meet Casey's excited face, instead he lowered his head further and continued past the black haired man.

A tension scrunched his eyebrows as he watched after the two bringing Mikey into Donnie's lab.

"What's up with him?" Casey asked, turning to Donnie who was trailing behind, poking at something on his t-phone.

Donnie peeked up at Casey then to Raph and Floyd. "Oh... there was a bit of an... incident... at the mansion." He said, clearing his croaky throat.

April met up with the two, her eyes trailing after the guys. "What happened?..." She questioned before staring warily at Casey and Donnie.

Donnie sighed and shook his head. "I... I'll catch you both up later." He stepped around the two humans towards his lab. "I have work to do."

As you hopped the deactivated pay stations a chorus of voices called out to you excitedly. "Y/n!" Shane called out to you, hopping up from the couch that harboured entirety of the cramped conspiracy club.

You met all their relived faces taking you in before they all collectively scrambled to their feet to run at you.

"You're back!" Jamie cried as he zipped past Shane and jumped into you, wrapping his arms around you. The hug was only increased in pressure by the others who all stared to pile in.

"We were so worried!" Roy mutters through a relaxing sigh, almost motherly in tone.

Shane nodded, craning down to rest his cheek on your head playfully. "Honestly Y/n, when are you going to stop giving us heart attacks?" He tutted sarcastically through a chuckle.

Your heart was full at this, but all this emotion seemed to do was drag your mind down with the heavy guilt their comfort gave. There wasn't anything you wanted more in that moment than to return their love, their joy. But every time you opened your mouth to speak, your ears remember the squelching and crying of Polly's chopping up a person, Tiberius, Henry's father.

Your eyes drift to where you saw Henry last, But he'd slipped into the kitchen out of sight. With every blink you imagined what he saw over the video cameras, what happened to his father.

What he saw that you didn't stop.

The arms around you suddenly felt undeserved. Weighing you down into a sand pit.

Your eyes flit down as you tried to breathe through it. "Th-Thanks guys. But can you just, back up a little?"

The guys eyes suddenly turned confused as they glanced at each other. "Oh! Yeah of course!" Jamie said, wiggling away from you and the hug,making the others follow suite to release you back into the suddenly chilly air.

Frankie tilted his head to get a slightly better look at you. "Y/n, are you okay?"

You blinked hard, trying to rid yourself of these thoughts, until tears started to form again.

The friends around you suddenly turned worried. Shane and David shared a quick look before the short man turned to the rest. "Okay you guys, give her some space." David policed gently, backing the other guys up then turning back to you, lowering his voice. "Do you want us here Y/n?"

You had no idea if you did or not.

You rubbed your eyes clear before anything could leak out and lifted your eyes to them. "I appreciate you guys, thank you for the welcome." Your eyes fell back down. "But I need some time. It wasn't great out there." You managed to explain, fighting the urge to fall to the ground and rest.

Frankie, the angel boy, hummed in understanding despite the clear worry weaving itself into every syllable. "Okay Y/n. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to." His voice was soft and kind. "Do you want us to walk you to a room for you to rest?"

Another wave of emotion started to rise inside you. "Heh, yeah." You muttered, wiping your eyes, preparing for the flood that was coming.

Frankie offered a wobbly smile then lifted his head towards Casey and April who were conversing with each other. "Hey, is there a room Y/n can rest in for a while?" He asks

Both of them stopped their conversation to look over. "Oh!" April's eyes widen, "Yeah of course, follow me." She said softly, walking down a hallway slow enough for us all to catch up with Casey in tow.

They all went with you, protective and concerned. It was nice, if you were in the right headspace you would've appreciated it a little more.

April stopped at the first door on the right in the long hallway. "Here, this'll be nice and quiet for you." She said kindly, opening the door before turning to you.

Casey rubbed his chin awkwardly as you stepped passed into the room's threshold. "Uh... hey." You stopped and turned, tiredly. He continued, "Y'know, if you need to talk about... anything..." He coughed into his fist.

April smiled tenderly at his efforts before lifting her eyes to meet yours. "We're right here," She continued for him, "You're one of us now, you're in a unique situation. But remember that you can always come to us to talk about anything. We just... we know how scary things can get."

The words bounced around in your head, offering some form of comfort that eased a weak smile onto your face. "Thanks." You looked from April to Casey. "Both of you."

Casey grinned awkwardly, as an embarrassed flush crawled up his apparently itchy neck. "Sure... Don't mention it."

The red head smiled at him with a softness that could melt glaciers then looked to you with a bow of her head. "Have a good rest Y/n." She turned to Casey then walked back down the halls with the raven haired man falling into stride.

Roy spoke up soon after their departure. "I hope you know that we extend the same offer Y/n." He said.

Jamie nodded along, "I know we aren't exactly turtle experts, but if you need any cheering up or distraction or just someone to cry with, I'm here... we're all here, right guys?" He said looking at all the others with a genuineness that caught amongst them in a chorus of an agreement. They were trying their best to offer any sort of comfort they could despite their ignorance to what had truly happened.

"Okay, but we should let her recuperate." David cut in firmly with a wave of his hands as he herded them away. He casts an empathetic glance at you, "We'll see you later, okay Y/n?"

You nodded, smiling at the man as best you could.

Frankie resisted ever so slightly. "Don't hesitate to talk about it, CC for life!" He cried pumping his fist into the air as David hauled him away. His last corny effort at making you feel better.

You nodded tiredly, gazing oddly at him as he's carried away. However much you appreciated them, that was about all you could take before really needing to be alone. You stepped back and closed the door behind you, enclosing you in the silent, softly lit room.

Finally

As you turned to survey the room you'd found yourself in, the single, neatly made, twin sized bed immediately beckoned you closer. You stretched your arms above your head while stepping towards it.

You stopped right at the foot of the bed and pressed your hands into the soft, springy mattress. The movements you made were slow and became savoured peace within the chaos of the past few days.

You slowly sit on the edge of the of the bed, taking in another breath.

Nothing could hold the tears back anymore as they finally poured down your cheeks in the silence. You flopped your back down on the bed to ease the aching deep in your bones.

The soft yellow-orange glow from the night light over a simple wood dresser was the only comfort you had as you focused your dwindling attention on it. Hopefully it could hold your mind for long enough that you might be able to drift off.

The light was constant and warm, everything felt so gentle to under its glow. Your wandering eyes scanned the wall closest to your head. The upside down view you got rested on what looked like a rack for something.

Your wondered if Tiberius' remains would be recovered.

Your eyes widened a fraction at the realization. Those were for katanas, and you were in Leo's room.

The surprise waned away quickly as you turned your head to survey the room. It was tidy, extremely so. The only thing on the floor was a forgotten blue mask tossed in a corner.

You wondered if Polly was cold right now.

He had posters, but they were put up sparingly. A few band posters and one cheesy ninja movie poster. Did all the turtles enjoy ninja movies? Would Mikey ever be able to enjoy a movie again?

You traced each title with your eyes until you finally started to drift into a restless and guilty sleep. The tears only stopped when you were fully unconscious.

You wondered if you would be the same.

*•*•*•*•*

Sleep evaded you.

When it didn't it held you down, forcing you to relive the same events over and over. When you couldn't consciously control your thoughts they started to run, twisting what happened into further unrecognizable horrors; visualizing what it was like to watch Polly kill her abuser the way that she did, Leo being in place of Tiberius, Polly shifting into a sobbing Henry, then Floyd.

You couldn't make sense of it, and it almost felt like your mind was voluntarily diving deeper and deeper into these thoughts, conjuring any terror it could think of. The only thing you knew was that this meant there was going to be an ugly mental scar.

'Click'

The soft shut of a door suddenly grounded you, wrapping you in a cooling ribbon and fishing your mind out from itself and breaking the surface with a sharp inhale. Your eyes flew open just to frantically land on a turtle trying to be quiet.

When he turned, a relieved smile spread across your face. "Hey Leo." You said softly, propping yourself up onto your elbows.

He grimaced at the sight of you. "Did I wake you?" His voice was quiet as he walked towards you, a small pack in hand.

You nodded with a shrug. "Yeah, but it's probably for the best. The dream I was having wasn't particularly pleasant."

His eyes wandered about your slightly battered face before he encroached forward. "Here." He offered the ice pack he held. "That bruise looks like it's gonna get worse if you don't control the swelling."

A slow flutter in your chest managed to pull a minuscule smile upon your cracked lips. "thanks," you replied, gratefully accepting the pack and eagerly placing it to your face.

His eyes locked in the bruise for a moment longer with a ghost of a frown decorating his features. His eyes shut tightly as if banishing the thoughts plaguing him as he awkwardly stood by his bed. "So uh... this dream... was it about what happened?" He asked.

A spector from dreams floated behind your eyes, tormentingly. "Yeah, how could it not be?" You sighed, flopping back onto the bed with the pack still securely pressed your your face.

Leo hummed and walked towards his dresser while undoing his belt. "Fair enough." He draped it atop his the simple piece of furniture carefully before moving to the twin katanas on his back. A silence settled in as you watched him unclip the buckle that secured the blades to his back. As it went slack, he brought the swords lay under his pondering eyes. A long pause plagued the air between us as he stared at them thoughtfully.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about it either." He confessed, running his thumb over the scabbards.

He plucked them apart and placed one on the display rack, but the other remained in hand. His troubled eyes grazed over the sheathed blade. "I honestly don't know what to do with this thing."

Upon inspecting it closer, you could spot the red discolouration along the fabric of the hilt.

"I can just... feel it. I'm so aware of it and what it was used to do, like I'm carrying what happened on my back. I just..." He sighs in defeat, hanging his head low. "I can't stop seeing it. How he hurt her so badly, how she had nothing in her mind but to inflict that same level of pain on him." Leo's fists clenched tightly around the scabbard as he glares down at it, troubled. "It's heavier now."

You sat up on the edge of the bed the ice pack at your side. "Leo, put that thing outside."

He looked to you tiredly.

Standing from the bed, you stepped towards him. "I used to do this when I was younger." You placed your hand on his shoulder, staring down at the katana. "If something is bothering you or just won't leave your mind, you can associate it with something physical," You tipped your head down at the blade in his hands. "Then put it outside of your door and lock it out. You know where it is, but it doesn't have the power to come back in unless you let it."

He stared at you, then at the haunting sword. "And... does that work?" He asked curiously.

You smiled softly, squeezing his shoulder. "Well, it doesn't hurt to try."

The turtle hummed then peered down at you for a moment of encouragement before walking to his door. He stepped passed the threshold of his room and set the sword against the outside wall. After a long moment of just staring at it he retreated back and closed the door behind him.

You sat on his bed with a smile, crossing one leg in front of you while scooping the ice pack back up. "Well? How do you feel?"

His eyes soften as he lets out a gentle chuckle. "The same... Maybe a little better."

A quiet solemnness painted your face as you smile, "That's enough for now."

He sighed tiredly, as he walked towards the bed, untying his blue bandanna from his eyes.

As the fabric fell from his face, the brilliant blue his eyes held was enhanced against his skin.

You couldn't help but stare.

He noticed as he walked closer to the bed, stopping momentarily. "What?"

A heartfelt smile warmed your features. "You're very pretty."

His body suddenly stood very straight. "O-Oh?" The way his eyes searched yours was unsure, almost worried to fall prey to some kind of joke he didn't understand.

A pang of sudden guilt and fear shot through you as you smiled nervously. "I mean it. It's a compliment, Leo."

A dark shade appeared all across his face as he stared at you. "Oh! Well, uh... thank you Y/n." He said quietly fidgeting with his hands as he walked closer, slower than before. He sat nervously on the bed.

"Do you need me to go?" You asked, scooting a little bit off the bed.

The gears in his head turned as the shade on his face turned a smidge darker. "No, you can stay... if you still would like to." He said quietly.

You chuckle weakly to yourself. "Yeah, if this bed fits us both though." With that you crawled to the head of the bed and tucked your legs in, followed by the rest of your body.

He wiggled under the covers stiffly as he grabbed a fistful of blankets and lifted them over your shoulders, a warmth flooding over you.

It was a thin bed, but you could both fit fairly comfortably. There just wasn't much room so it was near impossible not to be touching, and Leo was making an effort to give you as much space as you needed. You watched him as he scooted away from you, letting blankets fall between you both as his shell was no doubt hanging off the side of the bed now.

"Leo." You said calmly —despite the odd beat of your heart— and lowered the pack from your face.

His bright eyes lifted to focus on yours.

"I can move back a little too," You said with a tipped grin, scooting away from him too. "See? Plenty of room. No need to fall off."

His eyes suddenly couldn't look at you. "Alright, uh thanks." He slowly moved back towards the middle of the bed.

This time, you adjusted the sheets over his shoulder, making sure there was enough for his larger frame. As your hand pulled back to your body, his brushes against yours purposefully.

You still yourself and peer at his face, trying gauge if he did that on purpose. The way his eyes were glowing down on you nervously suggested it was.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he stared at you. "I uh..." His fingers slowly curled around yours. "Can I... erm..." His voice was gradually getting less and less audible, as if his throat was drying up by the second.

The amount of nerves he was radiating started to seep into, as your heart began to beat quick and irregular. You laid there patiently as he tried to form his words, but you started to shake from just how nervous he was.

He laughed out a soft breath, trying to calm himself. "This is embarrassing." He chuckled.

The opportunity to just take a breath couldn't have come any later as you greedily sucked in some air to clear your head. A small, giddy smile spread across your face. "Heh, yeah you're making me nervous, Leo." You said in a low, playful tone, squeezing his hand that held onto your palm.

He laughed and tipped his head forward, getting the as much of his nerves out as he could. "Heh, sorry Y/n." He said through the soft laughter that could melt you as he lifted his head back onto his pillow, taking in your face with a content smile. "I'm just not used to this kinda thing." He admitted, looking away.

"Well, what were you gonna ask?" You pressed, curiously.

He grumbled to himself, embarrassed. "Can I... ugh... can we..." He choked it out, as a red rose to his face again. "...cuddle?"

An unbridled grin spread across your face. "Cuddle?" you asked, bemused.

He groaned and slipped his hand from yours to plant on his face, covering his features. "There isn't any cool way to ask!" He cried defensively under his palms. The heat from his face was enough to warm thousands of people.

You laughed rather loudly at his sudden shy demeanour, taking in every moment like a heavy rain to a dusty plain. His mouth was fighting off a smile despite being thoroughly offended as he peeked at you from beneath his hand.

"I'm sorry, Leo." You forced out, grabbing his hand from his face, only little chuckles remaining. "I shouldn't laugh, there really isn't a cool way to ask."

He huffed looking off, his smile growing. "I'm glad you understand then."

"But to answer your question, yes, we can cuddle." You said and placed the ice pack onto the nightstand before snuggling closer to him. You rested against his plastron, your head submissively tucked to his chest.

The shock was obvious on him as he awkwardly lifted his arm up and around you, timidly resting back on top of your body. Luckily, after about a minute he relaxed and pulled you closer into him by pressing his large palm against your back, and hugging you closer in his strong arms.

You hummed and closed your eyes, lying your arm around his side as well, softly flicking your fingers tips across his shell.

"Y/n." He whispered.

"Yeah?" You answered, cracking an eye open despite only seeing his plastron.

It took him a while to speak again, and almost made you lift your head to see if he'd fallen asleep. But his voice cut through the contentment just in time. "Now that you don't need to bring us information on the Ashmore's anymore... you don't need to be tangled up with us anymore if you don't want to."  He said evenly.

You frowned and lifted your head to get a look at his face. It was contorted in the slightest sadness.

"And, I'd... I'd understand if you didn't want to remember any of this." The words were slow, hesitant, as a small pinch between his eyebrows became unmistakable. "So... if this isn't what you want for your life, I understand."

You popped up suddenly to your elbow, staring him down. "Leo, I'd love to forget everything that happened—"

He frowned to himself disappointedly, as if this was something he expected.

"—But I don't ever want to forget you." You placed a hand on his face as his eyes slowly widened with every word. "You're exactly what I want in my life."

The skin of his cheek was suddenly hot against your palm as he stared up at you. "I like you Y/n." He says, with no trace of nervousness as he sits up to meet your eyes. "More than I've liked anyone."

It was your turn to get flustered. "Y-You do?" You stutter, meeting his eyes head on.

He nods, a little smile tipping his mouth.

"Me too." You say, completely out of brain cells.

His grin breaks awake like wild fire and he gently cups your face, admiring you like your were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. In one soft movement, he pulled you into a tight hug, one you returned immediately by pressing your face into the crook of his neck.

You both stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other, until the exhaustion from the events prior and the shitty dreams just before this caught up with you again.

Finally you both parted, tired but happy, and laid down, just to end up in each other's arms again within a few moments.

And you drifted off.

The nightmares were still floating around in your head while you dreamed, but the feeling of Leo's protective arms around you always lulled you back to sleep with a much needed moment of peace.

A peace that wasn't about last too much longer.

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I've been spelling Shell Raiser wrong this whole time 💀

What kind of author... omfg