Edited:

Published: Monday, October 5th 2015 6:30 pm

Jafar:

"Okay, I need some cake," Wasim declared after he put the last bag in my room. After getting out of Allen's car, I packed up my stuff and got the earliest flight back to Riverside. I had to come back home, being in California didn't seem right anymore, especially after I got out of my contract. My apartment is still there for cases like a vacation house, but I'm planning on putting roots back here in Florida.

      I'm just thankful that my parents let me back in the house. They weren't happy that I gave up career, but after I explained why, they understood and didn't judge. I don't plan on living with them forever, it's just until I can find a place somewhere. But I won't make any big decisions without consulting Ayah. If we're going to live here, we both should decide on a place.

But then there's New York. I don't even know if she wants to come back here. There are so many things that we need to talk about.

        I still haven't talked to Uncle Yaman yet, and that's what I'm dreading. He told me not to do anything stupid. I don't think what I did was stupid, but he might think differently. I should give him a call though. I should give Ayah a call. I haven't heard anything from either she or Jamila since yesterday when we talked. I can't believe Jamila really went all the way to New York.

        She has done some odd things since her entry into teenage years, but flying is a whole different story. It was one thing to be upset, but flying away isn't the thing to do. Now Abi--my stepfather and I had to confront both of the boys Jamila was talking to and their parents. It took so much for me not to hit someone. Jamila is my baby sister, of course I'm going to be overprotective all the time. One of them--Khalid was very calm and collected during this whole thing.

           He even had to audacity to ask for my sisters hand. Abi actually had me to go outside because I was fuming. I honestly think that if I saw them out in town, I wouldn't be able to control myself. But I have to remember that it's a two way street, and Jamila was also at fault. Sure, I was calm and nice to her on the phone, but when I see her face to face, we're having a long talk.

          "When are you going to talk to him?" Wasim asked after a while, and my whole mannerism changed. I knew he was talking about our father right away. We don't have that hate relationship that most parents have with their kids, you know, the ones when you have that father. Ours is just...non-existent. We've never been close, not even when I was little.

          Another reason why my parents got a divorce is because he was really never around. He wasn't around to the point where she would cry herself to sleep. And closer to the end, finding time to bond with Tehreem, Zahrah and I seemed hard for him to do. He was avoiding us. The last time I saw him was over a year ago. He's not even there for Wasim or Fatimah--his wife.

          I guess that's why I've taken it upon myself to be there for my brother, because who else will? He has no one else.

        "He's in town?" I asked.

        Wasim nodded. "He just got back the other day. But he'll probably be gone tomorrow for all we know."

        "Yeah he does that," I laughed with no emotion. "And to answer your question--I don't plan on it. I have too much to do to be dissapointed again."

        "Do you know the first thing he asked me about is football? He couldn't even ask how I was doing. But it doesn't matter. I quit the team."

"You did?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Because it's not appealing to me anymore. The only reason why I played was to bond with him, but I'm done. I'm focusing on getting a college scholarship and hopefully be an accountant."

"I'm proud of you man," I told him. "You're already planning on a realistic future. Insha Allah it turns out the way you want."

"If he doesn't try to screw it up," He whispered, but I heard him.

        "Just hang in there, man," I tried to encourage him, but I could see it in his eyes. The same look I had growing up to the words 'he cancelled again' and 'Abu is busy this week. We'll try again next month.' Oh, how those words stung a ten year old.

        "Whenever you need to get away call me. We can have a brother bonding trip."

      "Thanks, bro," Wasim got up from his place on my bed and walked downstairs, more than likely to ask for some of Ummi's cake. That sounds so good right now.

        I was about to follow after him when my phone rang. Ayah? What...

           "Hello?" I asked hesitantly into the phone.

      "Assalamu Alaikum, Jafar."

      "Wa Alaikum Salaam," I replied in surprise. "Is everything okay?"

We haven't talked in almost a month and now she calls me. I'm extatic, believe me, but something has to be wrong.

      "Yeah," She sniffed on the other end. Why is she crying? "I just have to tell you something."

      "Oh," I sighed in relief. At least she's not hurt. "What is it?"

      "I love you."

Woah...

      "I love you, too,"
I laughed. In this situation, that's the only thing that came to mind.

     "There's one more thing."

     "Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

She's pregnant? I'm going to be a father? She's going to be a mother? I'm in Florida, she's in New York. I don't have a job. She's pregnant...

Oh, my goodness. What are we going to do?

"Jafar, are you there?"

"Yeah," I said a little over a whisper. "How are you feeling?"

She sniffed and chuckled a little. "I'm fine, what about you?"

"Surprised," I replied truthfully. "When did you find out."

"Today. Uncle Yaman is here, so that's comforting. Oh, and Jafar?"

I couldn't handle standing anymore so I sat down.

"He told me everything," She announced. "I get it now. You had to keep a secret so you wouldnt get my hopes up. I feel so bad! I shouldn't have treated you like that, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I told her. "It was all me. Are you sure you're okay? And then you have my runaway sister there? Oh my goodness..."

She cut me off. "We have to talk about this, about us. Now that we're bringing a new life here, we need to figure some stuff out."

"I agree. I should come there. Are you okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "I didn't want to surprise you..."

"Right," I could hear the guilt in her voice. "I want you to come. We need to talk."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I'll be waiting."

-*-

"Ayah's pregnant," I announced to the people in the living room. Zahrah was the first to reply.

"It's about time," She grinned, but lowered her voice because of her baby in her arms. "My baby needs a companion."

"I'm so happy for you, Habibi." Ummi said as she came forward and  hugged me. "What are you going to do? She's in New York."

"I'm going there," I announced and they all laughed.

Abi rolled his eyes. "We know that, but what about your living situation?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. We'll talk about it more when I go there."

After more congratulations, I motioned for Wasim to follow me outside. As I was talking to my family about leaving, I noticed Wasim's whole mannerism change. I think it's time for him to get away for a while before he goes back to school in a few weeks. And I know his situation at home isn't good.

"What's up?"

"I want you to come with me to New York."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? Why?"

"I need a traveling buddy," I lied so he wouldn't get suspicious. He wouldn't want me to ask him to go because I feel sorry for him.

"You really think Abu will go for that?"

        "I'll have to talk to him then," I suprised myself by saying. Wasim smiled appreciatively and nodded.

"If he says yes then we can go."

       He began to walk back inside with a happier attitude, but now I have the sour one. I have to talk to the man I haven't heard a word from in over a year. Great...

-*-
August 29th

"...Ayah, will you pay attention?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to Nadia.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind," I apologized and continued to look at her computer. We're currently sitting outside the Academy apartment complex. Nadia's finally showing me how wattpad works so I can focus more on my career. It's going to be hard though. Ever since my talk with Jafar three days ago, a lot has been on my mind.

Everything has been different lately. Jafar and I talk daily now and send texts all the time. He's so concerned about the baby and I's health. He even wants to find a doctor as soon as possible. I actually can't wait to see him.

      "So you know how to add a story, right?"

      I nodded and pointed to the works.

      "You go here and add your story. You can put pictures, videos, casts and such."

      Nadia nodded. "Yes. You're not going to get a lot of reads at first, but I'll follow you and recommend your stories so it will go faster."

       "That's cheating."

     She shrugged. "You're just moving faster than most. You want to move your career fast, don't you?" I nodded. "So we have to recommend you. Besides, you can't make your readers vote, comment and follow something they don't want. That will be all you."

        I took her advice and looked up all the books under spiritual. There are so many Islamic books in here. Whether they're talking about marriage or life in general, they look really good.

       "I think I'll probably end up reading more than writing."

      "That happened to me at first, but then I wanted to be like them, so I got back into writing. I have to get ready for class, do you need anymore help?"

      "No," I shook my head. "I'm just going to explore wattpad for a bit. Thanks for your help."

       "Sure thing, sis."

        I waved to her as she left before focusing more on the app. It's so amazing how something like this exists. All of these talented people--boys and girls--putting all they have into what they believe in--writing.

      I was interrupted by the beeping of my phone.

       Salaam, Ayah. How are you guys?-Jafar

        Every time he mentions the baby, it makes my heart swell. All the things he's done in the last few weeks has made me realize something. He's going to be an amazing father.

         Wa Alaikum Salaam. We're good, Alhamdulillah. I have a lot of food cravings, though. I wanted a peanut butter hot dog the other day.-Ayah

        I'm not going to lie, I'm happy about that. It means you're doing good.-Jafar

        You should know a lot because of your sisters, right?-Ayah

      Yes! I had to go through a lot. There is one more thing before I go. I won't be able to come there for a couple of days-Jafar

        I couldn't help but feel dissapointed by this. I am really looking forward to see him.

     How come?-Ayah

      Couldn't get a flight until Sunday, plus Wasim is coming. My fathers back in town-Jafar

       Jafar has told me a lot about how he and his father don't talk much, and about the situation with his brother. It's good that he's getting a vacation from everything at home.

      Get here as soon as you can-Ayah

      I will. Love you-Jafar

       I Smiled as I typed my response.

       I love you, too-Ayah

-*-

          "Seriously, Uncle Yaman, I'm fine."

         "I just want to be sure. Your mother will hurt me in every possible way if you weren't okay."

         I nodded in understanding. She would. I can't wait to talk to her. She and Aunt Suhaila's spa retreat ends tomorrow.

"Now about you working, I don't want you to."

I sighed and nodded. I knew this conversation was coming when we first decided to meet up with each other, and I can't say that it hasn't been on my mind. I really don't know what I'm going to do right now. I've only been here a week and new issues have risen. But I don't want to plan anything else in our lives without my husband.

Wow. It's been a while since I've addressed him as such.

"When Jafar gets here tomorrow, we'll discuss it. You don't have to worry."

"Yes, I do. You're like my daughter, Ayah. Your wellbeing is very important to me."

I smiled and continued to eat my food. I can only tolerate soup right now. This is the only food I want, and Uncle Yaman insisted on bringing me to a very nice restaurant. I haven't really thrown up since that day at the Masjid, which I guess is normal. It varies with every woman.

"Is there any news about Jafar's career?"

"I haven't heard from him, but I did call the studio," I froze with the spoon mid-way and faced my smirking Uncle. "You don't have to feel guilty about knowing before I did. It's only right that he tell you."

"I figured that he should tell who he wanted, but I didn't think you were optional. You should have been first."

"Yeah," He nodded. "And I'll talk to him when he comes here. Check please?"

The waiter came over to our table to collect Uncle Yaman's card before dissapearing into the back. And without even realizing it, I finished the rest of the soup before the waiter came out.

-*-
Jafar:
August 30th

"Thanks for the ride," I waved to the cab and pulled my suitcase along with me to the hotel entrance.

"You know that it's their job, right?" Wasim asked from behind me.

"I was just being polite."

Wasim shook his head in amusement at me and grabbed his bags. He needs to learn some manners.

We then made our way to the front desk to get our reservation. The ride here wasn't bad, but I wish I could have come sooner. Having Wasim here helped, though. Asking our father if he could come was easier than expected considering he just sat in his chair watching Tv and drinking coffee. Wasim's Ummi didn't mind either. She was way more hospitable about my presence than her husband, but that's not what we went to their house for.

I wasn't trying to make a relationship with my father that didn't exist in the first place. After grabbing the key, we made our way to the elevator to get to our room. As soon as we got there, I dumped my stuff on my bed and turned to Wasim who just came through the door.

"Here's your key," I gave the spare to Wasim. "I'm going to run out for a sec, but I'll be back later."

Wasim took it but eyed me warily. "I'm going to call room service, okay?"

I just waved him off as I practically ran out of the hotel. My bill is going to be sky high.

-*-

The walk from the hotel to the writing academy wasn't as long as I thought it would be, and I enjoyed it. It's quite nice at night with all the bright lights. It's one thing to walk around Riverside than to walk around here. Even in California, I would take daily walks around my neighborhood just out of fun and pleasure. Walking is sort of soothing to the mind. Okay, I'm going to stop talking like a lovesick puppy.

As I rounded the housing building of the academy, my heart couldn't help but speed up. The last time I saw her, we had a very bad fight and left angry. I'm just glad that everything is out in the open for us to deal with everything the right way.

"Just a sec!" A voice yelled after I knocked on the right door. Thank goodness for Jamila. If she hadn't told me what number the room was, I would end up knocking on every door until I found the right one.

"Jafar!" Jamila exclaimed and jumped on me. I had to brace myself on the wall so I wouldn't fall over. "It's about time you showed up! I was beginning to think you got lost."

"Your directions were on point, I assure you," I said, and the next thing I know, Jamila is pulling me inside the apartment and to the couch. Two other girls stood in the kitchen sweeping and cleaning.

"Is she here?"

Jamila rolled her eyes, but you could see the excitement on her face.

"Yes I'm fine. How are you?"

I smiled.

"How are you Jamila?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. But to answer your question, she's sleeping right now, but you can go back," She waved off playfully. "She won't mind."

I got up to make my way to the back room when my name was called by a girl with dark hair. The other one is Muslim.

"Before you go, I need an autograph so I can score some quick cash."

I frowned at her. "I'm afraid no one would want to buy an autograph by a has been."

She shrugged. "It's only been a couple of days. Besides, it's better to be a has been than a never was."

-*-

I knocked three times and listened for an answer. After a couple minutes of no answer, I turned the doorknob and walked inside. The whole room is dark aside from a lamp on the table.

There she is. Sleeping peacefully with her hands tucked under her head. That was always a habit of hers. She would then wake up with numb fingers.

I shook my head out of memory lane, walked over to her, bent down and shook her gently.

"Go away, Jamila. I'm tired."

I held in my laugh and shook her again until she opened her eyes a little and scrunched her eyebrows in confusion.

"You're not Jamila."

I shook my head. "Nope."

It must of clicked in her head that I was really here, because she shot up in her bed and threw her arms around my neck.

I immediately responded and hugged her back.

-*-

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