"What's with the very, very short and spaghetti-strapped dress? Wala ka na bang ibang damit?" It was too early for Uno to nag and too off the position for him to ask such that Dos just laughed before she headed towards him and took a sip from his coffee on hand. "Make your own, for pete's sake!" he yelled, wiping off the stain of her saliva on his mug.

"See?" She arched a brow as she folded her arms over her chest, looking down at the seated Uno. "You get bummed out if someone lays a finger on your thing. The same shit goes with me, so stop asking me why am I wearing this very, very short dress and indirectly asking me to go the fuck and get changed when I am more than comfortable with my thing."

"So, pag-aawayan na naman natin 'to?!" Uno stood from his chair. He palmed on the table to lean his face closer to hers. "Why make such a big deal out of it when what it is for me is that you might draw men's perverted eyes on you, with you wearing such revealing clothes? 'Yan ang mali sa inyong mga babae, eh. You blame men when you get disrespected when you were the ones flaunting your skin in their plain sight."

"Excuse you?" Dos laughed, sounding way more insulting than ever. "Did I just hear it correctly? Are we the ones to be blamed? Really? Because as far as I know, no matter how much we cover our flesh to the maximum extent we could, if perverted men are around, they'd disrespect us still. It's not about the clothes, Uno. It's about the breaching chivalry of today's modern men," she said with much firmness before she trotted off and left Uno for school.

Uno was left stupefied at the realization of how false and fallacious his remark was, leaving him staring into space for nearly a minute before pushing to his feet for work.

When he had arrived inside his office, the smiling face of his grumpy old woman of a nanny greeted him.

"Is there something I should be worried about with mom and dad, Ya?" he asked, taking a seat on his swivel chair.

"Wala naman," she said. Her smile was unyielding.

His brows briefly furrowed. "Then what brought you here at this early hour?"

Her smile broadened, showing her gums. "Birthday na kasi ni Dos sa darating na Biyernes, naisipan namin nina Marco at Nicole na sorpesahin-"

"Then go and plan with them. Why do you have to include me?"

She pursed her lips, took a folder from his desk, and slapped it on his head. "Talagang tatanungin mo pa 'yang bata ka?! Aba, syempre kasama! Sa ating lima, ikaw ang mas nakakakilala ro'n sa bata dahil kayo ang magkasama sa bahay! Kahit papaano alam mo kung ano ang hilig at gusto niya!"

Well, she told me she likes me. Does that mean I'd make the best gift for her birthday? an out-of-nowhere thought came across his mind. He cringed in a heartbeat, making him walk to the fridge to take a bottle of cold water.

"To be honest, I don't know. So, obviously, I can't help." He went back to his chair after trashing the bottled water he emptied in one swig.

"Uno naman!" Yaya Paning sounded frustrated.

"What?! Hindi ko nga alam-"

"Tutulong ka o sasabihin ko kina Marco at Nicole na nakita ko kayo ni Dos na naglalaro ng kakaibang klase ng charades?!"

His heart throbbed in panic as he quickly mouthed, "Tutulong! And don't you ever bring that back! Nakakadiri! That was a mistake! The worse mistake I've ever made!"

Yaya Paning bellowed into laughter while shaking her head. "Tignan mo 'tong batang 'to, oo. Kung hindi pa tatakutin, hindi pa papayag. Oh, siya." She stood from her seat. "Aalis na ako-"

"What?! Sabi mo magpaplano 'tayo', bakit ka aalis?"

"Kasi alam kong kaya mo nang gawin 'yon mag-isa. Magpapadala pa ako ng pera sa mga apo ko sa Cebu at maglalaba pa pag-uwi. Kaya ikaw na ang bahala."

"Yaya!"

He heard no response from his Yaya Paning, other than the moderately loud thud as his office door closed.

With that, he just found himself seated at one of the soft benches at the shoe corner of SM Department Store, waiting for his forever savior and witty best friend to show up, so he could come up with an extraordinary plan for the birthday surprise he was to cook for Dos.

"So, birthday planner ka na n'yan?" His shoulders jerked upward when he heard a familiar voice from behind.

It was Yari, who sat beside him while undoing his tie.

Uno heaved a long sigh. "I had no choice."

"Eh, ano'ng plano mo?"

"That's exactly the reason why I asked you to meet me—tutulungan mo 'ko. Planning birthday surprises isn't my thing. It's more of yours."

"'Di mo sure." Yari naughtily wiggled his brows at him. Uno frowned, staring cluelessly at him.

"What?"

"Tanda mo no'ng first-year college tayo, may pa tawag ng tanghalan ka sa gym no'ng birthday ni Sylvester?"

"Fuck you!" Uno blurted out, annoyed, not wanting the memories and feelings for his first love to resurface, for he isn't someone worthy to be remembered.

Sylvester was his first love and first heartbreak though they didn't end up together because all Sylvester was looking for was someone to warm his bed during cold nights. Uno, being a conservative one, knew he couldn't and wouldn't be that person.

Yari's laugh almost echoed at the corners of the mall. "Pa-demure ka, ghorl? Galing mo kayang magplano ng surprise. Sa sobrang galing umuwi kang luhaan no'ng araw na 'yon." He laughed harder.

"Will you help me or not?! Kasi kung hindi, I'll just call this fucking surprise off! You're pissing me off big time!"

"Ito napakapikon!" Yari rolled his eyes. "'Di pwedeng mag-joke? Kailangan laging serious?!"

Uno scowled harder to knock some sense of seriousness in his best friend. It was successful, somehow.

"Kung boylet ang may birthday," Yari replied, crossing his arms. "Eh kaso merlat 'yan. Wiz. Waley akong mai-he-help, bakla."

"Oh, come on, Yari! I couldn't care less! Wala rin naman akong paki kung hindi niya magustuhan, as long as I could come up with a plan and be through with it."

"Fine! Bwisit na 'to! Kakaimbyerna! Tumayo ka na r'yan at mamili na tayo! Baka wiz ako makapagpigil, jombagin pa kita!"

They went to the supermarket and department store to buy everything Yari had considered needed for the plan.

After an hour and a half, they had bought everything needed and agreed to grab their dinner at a particular fast-food chain after bringing the recently purchased stuff to Uno's car.

"Ano sa 'yo? Ako na o-order," Yari asked Uno when they finally found a table to occupy.

"Bahala ka na pumili," Uno replied. His best friend left without saying another word.

Few minutes, Yari came back. Not with a tray of food, but with Dos and their family driver.

"How did you--"

"I saw his picture on one of the frames displayed at your flat, pretty Uno. Kaya nilapitan ko siya, and hey, I was so damn right," Dos cut him short. "He's your best friend, right, pretty Yari?"

"Truelabels, mamsh!" Yari said, tucking an imaginary hair behind his ears. He was obviously in glee because Dos called him pretty, one thing Uno knew would make his self-absorbed best friend's heart flutter.

"Mind if I and Tatang Al share--"

"Naku, Dos, Anak, may naghihintay na gulay sa akin sa bahay. Alam mo na, tumatanda na si Tatang. Hindi na pwede ang karne at kahit anong mamantika sa 'kin. Kaya maiwan ko na lang kayo, at andito naman na rin si Uno pwede na kitang maiwan sa kanya," said Uno's family driver who had been of service to them for decades.

"Okay...." Dos said, voice faltering.

"Sige po, Tatang," Uno said, compelled. "Mag-iingat po kayo."

Tatang Al left the three of them. Yari guided Dos to sit beside him, facing Uno.

Silence descended for seconds until Yari broke it. "Ang ganda-ganda mo pala, mamsh. Ano'ng skincare mo?"

"I was born this way, eh." Dos flipped her hair.

"Betchi mong mashupalpal?"

Uno and Dos laughed.

"Charot lang! Kamusta naman si Uno sa bahay? Betchi mo pa naman siyang makasama until the next few years till you graduate?"

"So so," Dos said, turning her head to look at Uno, wearing a complacent grin.

Uno raised a brow. "Excuse you?"

"Why? Did I say something wrong?"

"Have you asked me how you are as a housemate to me? 'Cause, it's not a so so for me, it's a hard no-no perhaps."

"Do I seem to care?"

"Oh, why? Don't you? You're into me, right? Technically you'd care."

"But you said you're not into me. Why would I still care?"

Uno scoffed. "And that's just what it is?" He didn't know why he asked that.

Yari squealed, but none of the two gave a damn about him.

Dos smiled meaningfully. "It is what it is."