Some sort of an electrocution ran down Uno's spine the moment Dos sat astride his lap, with her arms wrapped around his neck. Her face was an inch away from his. He could feel the warmth of her breath, could feel the tip of her nose on his. Possibly, if they would speak, their lips would touch.

He moved a little backward, uncomfortable and nervous. His eyes kept on settling everywhere. Then he saw his phone that could very much be a hero to save him from the awkward situation he brought himself in.

His lips twitched when his phone's screen unlocked, showing something that only made the situation messier than it already was. On the screen was Dos' picture, which his mother sent to familiarize him with her face.

She giggled. "Why do you have a picture of me?" she asked, biting her lower lip as she traced her right pointing finger downwards from his forehead to his lips.

He swallowed the lump on his drying throat. Bits of sweat started to form on his forehead, though they were inside a fully air-conditioned condominium unit.

Her fingers started to move lower.

He quickly pressed the lock button of his phone and ditched it. It fell on the floor, but he cared not about it. He just wanted her off his lap, for a weird feeling started to creep inside him.

"M-my mom...she...she...sent it...t-to me...to uhm...for me to...recognize your...your face..."

Fingers began to move in slow motion on his chest.

"Really?" Her fingers went down, pressing the buckle of his belt to his abdomen and slowly unbuckled it.

A tickling feeling came when her hand touched his bare chest, without him knowing when and how she slid her hand inside his now semi-unbuttoned dress shirt.

"W-what are you...d-doing...?" he queried, innocently not innocent, for he knew what was going on.

She chuckled as she pulled herself closer to him. "What do you think I am doing, Mister Magnus Nikolai Iglesias?" she whispered against his lips.

His hands grappled on the couch's soft surface. He badly wanted her off his lap, unfortunately, he didn't know the hell how nor did he know if there were any means possible.

Dos' sexual advances ignited when she palmed her hand at the back of his head and pulled his head closer to hers.

Uno's discomfit quadrupled that he had pressured himself to come up with the best plan.

He pulled her closer to him and wrapped her legs around his waist before laying her weight on the couch.

"What are you doing?" Dos asked after pushing Uno on the chest, causing their faces to part.

"You...I'm doing you..."

Uno knelt between her parted legs as he fully unbuttoned his top and shimmied out of it, leaving only his slacks. He settled on top of Dos who's face was dripping with shock.

"I mean no offense...but have you...ever been touched...?" He caressed her on the cheek as he faked a lustful gaze on her.

"Not even...a finger," she said, stroking her hand on his back. "Never been kissed...never been touched...never been penetrated...and...you...if...I may ask...?"

"You're my first..." he mumbled before leaning closer to her face. "So, now, you'll be kissed..." he continued staring at her with want and passion. "Touched..." His thumb softly caressed her lower lip. "And to be penetrated..." He tried real hard to suppress his laughter. He thought he could be a good actor for making Dos believe she had seduced him.

The silence in the four corners of his pad shattered when the main door creaked open, only for his eyes to lay on an old woman in her sixties with silver strands dominating her crowning glory. She was carrying a huge plastic ware in her hand, which slipped off her hands when she saw a half-naked Uno, on top of the not-naked Dos.

The hunger stirrer aroma of Menudo, Uno's favorite viand, ensued around the whole place as it splattered on the dirtless floor.

"Santa Maria Ina ng Diyos, Mahabaging Ama, Ama ng ama, Ama ng lahat, lahat ng mga Santo sa kalangitan, patawarin niyo ang alaga ko sa karumaldumal na ginagawa niya na aking nasisilayan ngayon," the woman said in a non-stop manner while clasping her hands together with her eyes closed--praying.

It was just then when Uno and Dos realized the picture they were in.

Yaya Paning, Uno's Yaya since his diaper days, just went inside his pad and saw him about to touch a woman he was only supposed to care for and lodge.

"Yaya! Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?! Pa'no ka nakapasok dito?!" Uno yelled, covering his naked upper body with one of the throw pillows.

Dos, on the other hand, sat properly. They both looked frantic and ashamed with their now reddened and sweating faces. Clueless of what to do, what to say, and how to react.

Uno forced himself to make up an excuse inside his mind, but the praying Yaya Paning stopped him from doing so. He felt as if he had done something worth the sentence of Reclusion Perpetua or Sexual exploitation when he didn't. He was not lodging a minor, nor he touched a kid as Dos is no longer considered one at nineteen nor an incapacitated human who couldn't legally consent nor assent sex.

"Santisima! Ako pa talaga ang tinanong mo n'yang bata ka! Nasa Cebu pa sina Nicole at Marco, kaya inutusan ako ng mama mong dalhan kayo ng pagkain at kunin na lang ang susi nitong condo mo sa kwarto nila!" Kayo?! Ano'ng ginagawa niyo?!" aniya bago pilit na sinilip-silip ang tinatakpan ni Uno.

The two turned to look at each other while wearing the faces of the reprimanded ones due to their misbehaviors. Then they tilted their heads back to the older adult, yelling the hilarious excuse any sane person wouldn't come up with.

"Charades!"