A/N: Happy 43rd birthday Draco!

*****

So, I've lost my parents, boyfriend, godfather, and now my best friend.

Who is next on my list of loves who leave me?

Admittedly I'm being a tad dramatic because I don't remember my parents, and they left me to save my life.

Only, my life is pretty shit right now, so I'm letting them down on that wee factor big time.

Yes - let me ride this self pity train. I need it right now because it suits my mood beautifully.

I am currently returned to four Privet Drive, and I am actually grateful, because Dudley is here, and is still at least very much present in my life.

The fact that a Muggle is the least toxic person in my life right now speaks volumes.

"Promise me you won't ever leave me," I whisper to him as we sway side by side on the swings in the park. "Promise me you'll always be my cousin."

He takes my hand in mine and gently squeezes my fingers, his warm eyes sparkling.

"I'll always be your cousin, Harri. Plus, you saved my life last summer, so I'm kinda indebted to you eternally."

I smile back, but my heart remains sitting very much heavily in my chest.

It doesn't help when Dumbledore chooses that moment to turn up and kidnap me away from my only family, insisting that his need to use me to recruit a new teacher is more urgent than my mental wellbeing.

But that doesn't surprise me. Dumbledore has always been a selfish prick like that.

*****

"Why the hell have you brought me here?!" I ask Dumbledore in horror when he returns me not back to my home in Privet Drive, but to the Burrow where my ex-boyfriend lives.

"I've asked Molly to take you in for the rest of the summer," Dumbledore shrugs. "It seems easier this way."

Oh fuck no! I cannot face Fred. I cannot face him ever again after he dumped me like that! What is wrong with Dumbledore?

And oh my god, I kissed Draco. I actually kissed Draco. I feel rotten, like I've somehow cheated on Fred and I feel so ashamed.

But as luck would have it, Fred isn't here.

I know this because Molly makes me sleep in the twins' room, which is completely freaky and weird to me.

And when I crawl into one of the beds I know instantly it is Fred's. It smells just like him as I hug his covers around me and cry into his pillow.

"They live at the joke shop now," Ron explains the following morning over pancakes and pumpkin juice. "Business is booming apparently so they never leave the place."

"Speaking of which!" Molly clasps her hands together, her face full of jubilant joy, "I thought we could visit them today whilst we go and fetch all your school bits from Diagon Alley!"

I am filled with panic. It has been over four months since I've seen Fred and I'm still not ready to see him now.

"Um, I think I might be coming down with something, actually," I say, dramatically lifting a hand to my forehead. "If I just give you a list and-"

"Nonsense!" Molly interrupts. "I've got potions for every common ailment in my cupboard. You'll be right as rain for a shopping spree, and then some!"

Ah, crap.

I politely decline a potion and instead accept my fate.

It's not all bad, actually. Apart from the part when I bump into Draco in Madam Malkin's. The moody bitch barely acknowledges me as he swiftly storms past me out of the shop the moment we enter. Narcissa follows behind him, touching my arm briefly as she passes me.

At least she doesn't blame me for Lucius' incarceration.

And then it's time for us all to enter the joke shop.

"Come on, Harri," Ron urges when I stall behind them all. "Fred and George owe you lots of freebies after you funded this entire venture!"

I guess Ron doesn't realise that it takes more than four fucking months to get over a broken heart.

As we near the shop, my heart thuds crazily in my chest. And, to my horror, the door swings open and one of the twins steps out.

I have never dived beneath my Invisibility Cloak so fast. I give a silent thanks to my dead dad.

Even from where I stand I know it's him. Despite not having known who I was originally dating, I can now tell Fred apart from George even just by closing my eyes and touching his face. His voice, his scent, his movement. Fred is unique in every way and I can't believe I never used to be able to see that.

I watch as he greets his family, hugging his mother first, kissing her on the cheek. And then he is bombarded by Ron, Ginny, a handshake from his father which quickly turns into a hug. This family reunion, full of genuine love and affection, makes me want to cry.

If I had not whimped out, I wonder if Fred would have hugged me too? If he did, I know for sure that I would never have let him go.

As his family go inside the shop, Fred lingers on the doorstep. He looks up and down the now empty street, and I freeze as his eyes rake over me.

But of course he doesn't see me, for my father's cloak is amazeballs. However, I don't miss the slight fall of his face and the sadness in his soulful brown eyes. He gives a melancholy sigh as though he bears some cumbersome weight.

My heart hammers in my chest, tempted to reveal myself.

But I do nothing, and watch sadly as he disappears back inside the shop.

******

Another year, another train ride.

I join Pansy and Blaise in a compartment, my heart feeling heavy and sombre. They chat about their summer and I just sit back and let their voices wash over me, too depressed to join in.

Only when Draco enters do I sit up, watching him curiously as he takes the empty seat next to me. His eyes glance over me, but he doesn't say anything, not even a 'Hello, how was your summer?'. Prick.

I can't help but notice the change in him. He looks older, much older. A scowl is etched permanently on his forehead, and his skin - less pearly and more grey.

"Good summer, Draco?" Pansy asks, breaking the tense silence Draco had brought into the compartment with him.

Draco glares at her, causing her to shrink back in her seat. "What do you think?" he spits angrily. "My father is locked up and my mother is in pieces."

"Chill, Drake," Blaise drawls cooly. "She was just asking."

"Well, don't."

I really don't have time for this mardy bitch. He may be a good kisser or whatever, but his mood swings are not it.

The four of us sit in silence, and I stare out of the window, wondering what Fred is doing at this very moment. I close my eyes and imagine a world where we never broke up, and I smile, thinking about him waving me off and promising to write everyday until I return to him and our little flat above the shop.

But it is a world which is not real and I am rudely reminded of this when our compartment door is slid open, interrupting my day dreams.

It's a girl dressed in Hufflepuff robes whom I recognise from the year below us. She looks at Draco expectantly.

"Hey, Draco," she says, twirling a strand of long dark hair around her finger, "how was your summer?"

He turns to look at her, but unlike with Pansy, he doesn't snap, just shrugs.

The girl, who seems pretty nervous, remains hovering in the doorway.

"I didn't um- hear from you, and I was wondering if you were okay?"

"As you can see, I'm fine, Sophie." Draco drawls in a bored voice.

"Did you change your mind?" Sophie says in a small voice, her face going pink.

"About what?"

"You- you said you wanted to meet my parents."

"It was a line to get you into my bed." Draco says with such callousness. "And it worked. Clearly."

I stare at him, my jaw dropping at the nasty smirk playing at his lips.

At this point, I am silently willing Sophie to save her dignity and leave. But she remains standing in the doorway, her eyes desperately searching Draco as though she can find something decent in him.

"But you said it was the only thought that would help you survive the summer! You said- you said I was the most beautiful girl in the world!"

"I was angry and horny and needed a distraction." Draco snaps. "And you were there."

His gaze briefly flicks to mine and I experience a swirl of revulsion in the pit of my stomach knowing how close we had come to having sex for this very reason.

Sounds like poor Sophie didn't say no though.

"Dude," Blaise says as the Hufflepuff runs from the compartment in tears, "that was a bit harsh."

"A bit?!" Pansy scoffs. "That was disgusting! What the hell has gotten into you lately, Draco? I know your dad's been locked up and it's really upset you - but was treating that poor girl like that really necessary?"

"Oh, just get off your fucking high horse, Parkinson," Draco snips, folding his arms across his chest and leaning his head back against the seat.

Blaise, Pansy and I exchange baffled glances.

Draco spends the rest of the journey in a moody silence, muttering about pitching himself off the Astronomy Tower or something.

When Blaise and Pansy get ready to go as the train slows down upon arrival at Hogsmeade station, I motion for them to go on, needing to confront Draco one on one.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I hiss at Draco the second the door slams shut behind them, leaving us alone. "And don't give me the you're upset about your father crap. That poor girl didn't deserve that."

Draco's eyes narrow at me, but he doesn't tell me to fuck off like I anticipate.

"You wouldn't understand," he mutters instead.

"I lost my godfather! My heart is wretched in more ways than one, and now my best friend seems to hate me! So maybe I don't completely understand what you're going through, but I do understand what it is like to be going through a shit time!"

He doesn't respond. Instead, he stands up and grabs his bag from the overhead luggage shelf and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

*****