I don't watch Fred and George's grand exit. I'm in no mood for fireworks and definitely in no mood to see the boy I love fly away from me.

Instead, I go down to the dungeons and cry into my pillow. I cry until I have nothing left in me.

And then, when I'm done, I splash my face with cold water and go up for dinner, vowing no more tears.

The Slytherins all watch me in silence as I pile my plate high with food.

I try to pretend like I don't know what they're thinking.

Eventually, Pansy starts to speak. "Harri-"

"Can you pass the gravy, please?" I interrupt.

Hesitantly, she does so.

Next, Blaise has a try. "So, your boyfriend put on quite the show earlier."

"He's not my boyfriend. Salt, please."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Draco look up abruptly. "What do you mean? This morning you couldn't keep your hands off of each other - as per usual."

"He dumped me for a joke shop. Pepper, anyone?"

A joke shop he wouldn't even bloody have if it wasn't for me.

"He dumped you?!" Daphne spluttered. "Merlin, I always thought it would be the other way round."

"Well, according to him, he is 'freeing' me. Says he wants me to sleep around."

"And how do you feel about that?" Goyle asks.

"HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'm fine." I lie. "Besides, it's probably for the best. I don't need any distractions whilst I take my OWLs. I need to get decent grades if I intend to become an Auror."

"I didn't know you wanted to be an Auror," Draco says, frowning.

"Well, chasing bad guys is clearly my forte," I shrug, biting into a potato.

And chasing away guys in general, I guess. I feel a tightness in my chest as I recall the red haired Gryffindor walking away from me, leaving me alone in the classroom, crying.

Nope. Don't think about him.

Ron is waiting for me in the Entrance Hall after dinner, looking almost sheepish about something.

"Hey, Harri," he mumbles, going pink as he rubs the back of his neck. "Can I have a word?"

"Whatever," I shrug. The last time someone wanted a word, they trampled over my heart instead.

"I'm sorry about you and Fred," he says quickly. "I was really surprised when he told me he was going to finish things between you."

"Going to finish it?" I splutter, feeling furious and humiliated. "So he had little discussions about it with people first did he?"

"No! No he only told me because he had a request. He asked me to look after you."

"I can look after myself, thanks. Or did you and Fred forget that I faced Voldemort only last year?"

Ron flinched as I said the name no one likes to hear. "He's really cut up about it. I thought he was going to cry. I really think he believes he's doing the right thing by you."

My chest is tight and I can hear the blood beginning to rush in my ears. I didn't want to be here talking to Ron about this. I didn't want to talk about this to anyone.

"Well thanks," I mutter, "but as I said, I don't need looking after. I wish Fred all the best, I really do. Both him and George."

"We're still friends aren't we?" Ron asks, "only I know it might be difficult because of you and Fred-"

"Of course we're still friends," I say, trying to smile but my heavy heart making it difficult. "We were friends before Fred and I were together, weren't we? So nothing should change."

My heart rips as I recall a time before Fred. It seems inconceivable to me that there even was a time that he wasn't my world.

I feel the dangerous stinging behind my eyes and I know I've got to get away from this situation quick.

"Look, sorry," I say hurriedly, already moving towards the dungeon stairs, "but I have tonnes of homework-"

Oh no, my voice is cracking. I must not cry, I must not cry, I must not cry.

I make it all the way to the safety of my dormitory before the tears fall.

Damn you, Fred - I wasn't supposed to cry over you anymore.

*****

It's difficult to stay calm when all you want to do is scream.

But somehow I manage, and days slowly turn into weeks which eventually turns into months.

I throw myself into my OWLs, giving everything I can. I find it almost therapeutic as it stops me from thinking about him.

But the nights are tough, and if I'm not careful and haven't exhausted myself quite enough, then I lie there in the dark and wonder where he is and who he's with.

I think about the green dress that hangs unworn in my wardrobe. Why would he buy it for me if he never intended to take me anywhere in it? I'll probably never wear it now - another dress I cannot wear because of him. It hangs next to my red one, the Yule Ball dress.

Is he dating someone else yet? Probably. Not only is he funny and gorgeous, he's now a successful business owner. He'll have the pick of them.

I curl up into a tight ball beneath the covers, trying to stem the pain from within me.

It hurts, it hurts so much.

*****

It is during my final OWL exam when it happens.

Not only is it a stifling hot day, but it is a boring subject: A History of Magic.

So it's no surprise when I fall asleep halfway through it.

It is a surprise though, when I dream about my godfather being held captive at the Ministry by Voldemort himself.

"I'VE GOT TO SAVE HIM!" I yell dramatically as I jump up from my seat,not caring about my audience.

And without another word, I flea.

Meh, it's not like I need this particular exam to become an Auror anyway.

*****

When Umbridge drags me out of her fireplace, I don't care, because I had gotten all the information I needed from Sirius' reliable house-elf, Kreacher.

Sirius is in trouble and I need to go and save him. I just have to find a way to get away from this bitch first.

But then bloody Draco and his gang come in manhandling my look-outs.

Bloody useless, the lot of them.

I glare at Draco who shrugs apologetically when Umbridge hands him my wand for 'safe keeping'.

At least, when she threatens to Crucio me, he finally steps in.

"Uh, Professor," he says, tapping a finger on her shoulder, "but is that really necessary? And not being funny, but Harri is our friend, you Crucio her and your whole squad will turn on you."

Pansy - who has Ginny in a chokehold - nods eagerly. "Oh yes, leave Harri out of it. She's one of us."

I feel Umbridge's grip slacken on me, but then Hermione ruins it by blurting out something about a secret weapon in the forest, and before I know it, Umbridge is marching me and Hermione right there.

"For fuck's sake," I hiss quietly at Hermione whilst we stumble through the forest, "she was about to let me go!"

"What are you two whispering about?" Umbridge says shrilly as she jabs the tip of her wand painfully in my back. "Is it about the weapon?"

Before I can answer, centaurs storm through the trees towards us, angrily seizing Umbridge.

"Potter, do something! Tell them I mean no harm!"

"I'm sorry, Professor. But I must not tell lies."

I give her a little wave as she is carried off deep into the forest screaming.

"Good riddance," I mutter as Hermione trembles and whimpers.

"Wow, that was savage," Ron says impressively as he joins us.

He is followed by Ginny, Luna and Neville, all of whom were last seen captured by the Inquisitorial Squad.

I frown at them. "Did Draco let you go?"

"Nah," Ron chuckled. "We hexed them all."

Great, Draco was going to be moody at me about that in the morning.

But he is the least of my worries. Right now, I need to get to Sirius, and I need to get there fast.

"Let's fly Thestrals!" Luna suggests.

And so we do just that.

When we arrive at the Ministry, however, turns out I had made a big mistake in believing Kreacher.

"Ah, we meet again young Harriet Potter," Lucius says as he removes his silver mask. "Well isn't this a nice surprise?"

Fuck.

******