11 - Daddy

"Harri?" Ron asks, his mouth falling open as I re-enter the shop with Lily in my arms. "Who the-? What the-?"

"Meet your uncle," I say to my daughter, lifting her up in Ron's startled face. "Ron, Lily. Lily, Ron. He'll make bad jokes but don't feel obliged to laugh."

Ron just opens and shuts his mouth as Lily furiously sucks her curled fist, glaring at him through half-lidded eyes. With no time to explain, I hug Lily back to my hip and carry on, leaving Ron standing there, spluttering.

George is waiting up on the landing as I reach the top of the stairs to his flat, his face paling as his eyes land on our daughter.

"Is this-?" he stammers nervously. "Is this... her?"

I smile encouragingly, beckoning him to come over and meet his daughter.

"Hello," he says, smiling softly as he reaches out to touch her cheek.

Lily squirms and cries, turning her head around to hide in my chest.

"It's okay," I soothe, gently jiggling her on my hip as she begins to wail, "this is your daddy. He just wants to love you like I do."

"Shit," George says, scratching the back of his neck as his face flushes pink. "I'm sorry- I, uh-."

And with that he turns and heads straight for the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him.

"George- it's okay!"

As Lily sobs in my arms, I hear George also sob on the other side of the door.

Ah fuck, this is turning out to be a disaster. Before I can head towards the bathroom, there is a sound behind me as someone enters the flat.

"Harri?"

I jump and turn around to find Draco, his face full of concern.

"I thought you left?"

"I came back," he says unnecessarily. "I couldn't leave you to go through this on your own." His gaze goes straight to the door where George can be heard sobbing heavily behind it. "I take it the meeting didn't go well?"

"He's overwhelmed, that's all."

Draco strides over to me and takes a still sobbing Lily from my arms. He holds her to him and kisses the top of her hair, soothing her straight away. Her sobs subsiding, she looks adoringly up into his face, and I am shocked by just how quickly she has taken to him.

"Go and talk to him," Draco urges me, "I'll take Lily out into the shop until he's ready to see her."

I nod gratefully, watching him leave before walking to the door where George is still sobbing from the other side. I gently knock.

"George," I say, "Draco's taken Lily to look around the shop. We can talk, if you want?"

Silence. I hold my breath. Then slowly, the door opens. George looks utterly shattered, his face wet with tears which he tries to furiously wipe away.

"It was the worst thing I could have done to him."

My heart breaks at the utter desolation in his voice. I suddenly yearn to take away his pain, to make things right for him.

"No, no it isn't George." I say quickly. "I know this sounds crazy, but I know he was there that night. I saw his eyes, and he told me he loved me. I know it was Fred. Unless you are saying that was you?"

George sorrowfully shakes his head, not meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry, Harri. I don't remember much about it. I was so full of grief, my mind was a mess. I could have said anything. Maybe I wanted to believe I was him? Maybe it was my fucked up way of dealing with it?"

"Well, do you love me? Have you been harbouring feelings for me all these years and never said anything because of Fred?"

George looks at me now, his face full of startlement. "No. I mean... I do love you, but as a sister. That's why I hate myself for what I did to you. I'm so sorry."

"Good," I say, feeling relief wash over me. "Because that's how I feel about you. You'll always be Fred's wonderful twin brother to me. But now, I guess you're also the father of my child, and somehow we are going to have to deal with that."

He lets out a long breath, driving a hand through his hair. I can see he is trying desperately to think of what to say next, questions behind his pained expression.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He eventually strangles out. "We could have dealt with this together. I would have supported you. You must know that?"

I feel so utterly ashamed, wishing I could erase the past. But I can't, and all I can offer George is an explanation in the hope that maybe he will one day understand.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" I ask, feeling that standing here awkwardly outside his bathroom is not the best place for this conversation.

He smiles wryly. "Could do with something stronger if I'm to be honest. There's some Firewhiskey on top of the fridge."

Grateful for something useful to do, I go into the kitchen, closely followed by George. He grabs some glasses whilst I grab the half full bottle.

"Just a water for me please," I say as I pour him a generous measure. "I'm still breastfeeding."

I notice his figure balk out of the corner of my eye.

"Shit, sorry," he mutters as he hurriedly fills the other glass with water from the tap, "I should have realised."

"Stop saying sorry." I say firmly. "I'm the one who should be saying that."

We move to the sofa in the living room, the both of us sitting on opposite ends, and I watch as George nurses his Firewhiskey in his hands.

"I was so ashamed of what we did that night." I explain in an attempt to answer his earlier question. "And I was sad, so sad. I needed to get away from all the reminders of everything I'd lost. So I left. But then I found out I was pregnant, and suddenly I stopped feeling so sad." I pause and take a deep breath as emotion overwhelms me. "I know she's your daughter, George, but she also feels like a gift from Fred. I believed she was Fred's."

"Maybe she was?" George shrugs, his lips twitching at the corners as his face softens. "I quite like that idea."

Our eyes meet and a thoughtful silence descends upon us. After a moment, I put down my glass of water and reach across the sofa to clasp his free hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry I kept her from you all this time." I say with conviction, looking into his sad eyes. "There's no excuse for that."

"Well, I'm glad you came back." Squeezing my hand, he takes a deep breath. "I think- I think I'm ready to meet Lily now. For real this time. And I promise I won't run off crying again. Fred would be really ribbing me about that one."

I smile. "He really would. He'd probably start calling you a cowardly Hufflepuff or something."

"More like a scaredy-snake Slytherin."

"We are not scaredy-snakes!"

"Oh yeah?" George says with a spark in his eyes, "so where have you been for the past two years, then?"

"Alright," I mutter, letting go of his hand to playfully hit his arm, "you win. I'm a stinky coward."

"A brave stinky coward."

We share a smile. But before I can get up to go and fetch Lily again, the door bursts open.

"MUM IS GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!" Ron roars as he storms over to us, resembling an angry orangutan. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO FRED?!"

Draco strides in right behind him, still clutching Lily who is looking around in wide eyed awe, appearing to love all the drama.

"Weasley!" Draco bellows. "I told you, this isn't all that simple!"

Ron wheels furiously around to face him. "This has literally got nothing to do with you!"

"I'm Harri's friend-"

"And you approve of what she's done, do you?" Ron scoffs. "Taking advantage of a grieving man on the day of his twin's funeral?! She can't just expect to replace one with the other!"

"Don't you dare talk about Harri like that!" Draco growls, his face pinching in fury.

"Ron, calm down," George says, jumping up off the sofa. "Malfoy's right. It isn't that simple."

"You two had sex on the day we buried Fred." Ron spits, glaring from him to me. "Please do explain to me how that isn't simple?"

"You don't need the details little brother," George says calmly, trying to placate his younger brother by placing a hand on his shoulder, "but I can assure you Harri has done nothing wrong. We have all been dealing with this grief in different ways."

"Look Weasley," Draco says to Ron, striding across the room to hand Lily back to me. "I think maybe we should leave them to it."

"I think maybe we should tell Mum!" Ron snarls, pulling a mobile phone out of his pocket.

"Good luck with that," George points out, "she hasn't spoken in years."

"Well I think she'll have something to say about this!"

We all watch on in horror as Ron pushes a button on his phone and puts it to his ear.

"Mum, pick up, I know you're there. Look, Harri's just shown up at the shop with your grandchild-"

He is cut off by the sound of Molly's chipmunk voice on the other end. We all hold our breath.

"No," says Ron into the phone, "it's not Fred's-"

Molly's chipmunk voice again.

"Mum! No, it's not mine either! I've been nothing but devoted to Hermione."

More from chipmunk Molly.

"Apparently she and George had sad seggs right after we buried Fred," Ron tattles, "and then Harri ran off to have his baby, only thinking to pop back now to let us know. She's one year old and looks just like a Weasley so I don't think a paternity test is in order."

I cannot believe what I am hearing. George angrily snatches the phone out of Ron's hand and hangs up.

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!" he bellows in Ron's face.

Before a fight can break out, the door bursts open with a loud bang and Molly storms in, still in her nightie and looking like a crazy woman.

"WHERE'S MY GRANDCHILD?!"

******

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