QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"The closer he was the less confident I was."
― Shannon A. Thompson, Take Me Tomorrow

Dedication: @EmSlough (she's an amazing friend and mindblowingly talented writer. Also, a cover-maker, so thanks for the banner on the side, darling.)

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CHAPTER SIX

When I get home, Mum greets me with a cheeky grin. I wonder why she is at home so early but I don't say anything. Since that day, I speak less and less with her. She doesn't push it - just does her mother duties.

I immediately climb the stairs, run to my room and open my wardrobe. I pick out my Simpsons tee shirt and ripped jeans. Then, I straighten my hair a bit and put a little makeup. I check myself in the mirror and wink at my reflection. I look breathtakingly gorgeous as always - no one can deny it.

Meanwhile, my phone vibrates and Calvin messages that he's almost here.

I go downstairs and Mum checks me, then peeks at the clock. I don't usually go out at six. "Where are you going?" She asks suspiciously.

"A party." I answer, avoiding my gaze and grabbing my coat from the hanger.

"You look nice," she compliments calmly and a silence creeps in as I wear my coat and she keeps standing there.

"Thank you," I reply after a while. I just stand there, waiting for her to speak up but she pauses and I pause and it's as if the world pauses altogether. That is a long second - maybe the longest in the history but I want it to end, because it's unnecessarily long.

"When will you come?" She asks finally.

"I don't know," I mumble. "Before midnight, hopefully."

"Who are you going with?"

I shoot a sharp glance. "Why are you suddenly questioning everything?"

"I - I just try to be a better mother," she mumbles silently, a hint of offence in her voice.

I let a breathy laugh. "I don't need you to be a better mother, just stay as you always are, okay?"

"You push me, Jacqueline," she says a bit louder. "I try to be there for you but you keep pushing me back."

"Jack," I correct her firmly. "Look," I sigh. "I can't talk about how messed up our relationship is right now because my friend is waiting outside but we'll talk later, okay?" I say softly.

She just nodded, a ghost of grin on her lips but she is sad - it is so trivial.

Then, as I pull the door open, I look at her once again and smile back. But it doesn't reach at the corners and sticks at the middle of my lips. Then, as I shut the door, I am welcomed by Calvin in a car, waiting for me. When I get into the car, he smiles at me. "Hi."

Instead of greeting him, of course I'm being a pain in the ass. "Where did you find this car?" I inquire.

"I borrowed it from my dad," he says proudly.

"I didn't know you had a driving license," I say, impressed.

As he starts the car, he lets out a laugh. "I don't." I glance at him in a nanosecond with pure shock and he just grins at me. "Don't worry, I know how to drive but it's just not legal."

"You," I burst out laughing. "are breaking rules. Oh my fuck - this is something I'd never believe if someone told me that you do something illegal."

He glares at me, offended, sparing his eyes from the road and his grip on the wheel tightens. "You don't know me."

"I don't need to be a mind reader to figure out that you're a golden boy, Gilmore," I answer, laughing. "You are just too perfect to do something illegal."

"Huh," he replies. "Here I am driving illegally."

"I don't know how this happened," I admit. "But I like it." I slump in my chair, folding my arms satisfiedly. "God, go faster - this is getting fun!"

"I've already broken one rule," he deadpans.

"This means that you have nothing to lose to break the second," I quip.

He rolls his eyes, and meanwhile, I check him out without any purposes. He wears a blue shirt - its first two buttons open, and jeans. He looks quite good as he is, wait what, he is not that good. Just good minus quite. What am I even thinking? I shake my head and fixate my gaze outside, on the sidewalks and people passing by because they are more interesting than Calvin. Yeah, I mean it.

A silence creeps into the conversation, and I keep staring outside as he focuses on the road. He drives well, as though he is experienced. I think he drives for a long time now because Calvin isn't someone who would risk it.

I feel his gaze on me, but I don't look back - pretend to stare out. I don't know why I'm going to that party again, really to prove him wrong? I suppose not. I just want to be away from home for a while and this is the only option. My mind goes to Mum and her worried and hurt face - I can't gather myself to feel sorry about how she feels. She deserves to feel like that, for it is too late to be sorry.

"You listened to me," he chimes into my thoughts, with a knowing side-way grin and I snap my gaze at him.

"Huh?"

"You look nice," he says. "I told you so."

"I always look nice," I snap defensively, looking down at my outfit.

"I know," he murmurs, his eyes on the road.

I open my mouth to snap, due to my prediction that he will go against me, but when I hear what he says, I press my lips into a thin line. This guy is impossible to fight, another reason to hate him. I don't understand why he likes to be around me. I treat him as shit.

As we pass by streets, I realise where the party is - we are heading off to beach. "Beach. Is it a beach party?" I say shockedly. "You could've told me - why are they fucking doing it on beach? It's cold."

"It's gonna be fun," he says with a smile.

"Fun? We're gonna freeze our asses, yeah, so fun," I scoff.

He doesn't answer. I want to throttle him, in fact I hold myself not to. I stare daggers at him but he doesn't even pay attention. I groan after a while, darting my eyes out again nervously. I shouldn't have accepted his offer - this is just a game.

Fifteen minutes later, we park the car near the beach, and start walking through the area where people are sitting around the fire, drinking and laughing, and some of them walking away from the crowd to god-knows-where. I glance at Cal uncomfortably and he smiles at me. It is weird but when he smiles, I feel more confident and less alone.

I can feel the sand beneath my feet and it feels refreshing yet rough to walk on it after a long while. I've not been to beach for about four years. Frankly, I've never been to anywhere for a long while. I smell the sea as wind brushes my face off, fresh air mixed with salt. It's a bit chilly and it makes me shiver but I still feel good.

When we are almost there, among the crowd, I stop and observe the people. I know most of them, they are from school and there is one thing I know: people hate me. So I step back, throwing a glance at Cal and he frowns at me. "You - you go greet them," I mutter calmly. "I'll be here."

"Jacqueline..."

"Cal, please," I say a bit helplessly, and I hate to sound so afterwards. "Just go greet your fuck-headed friends," I add sharply as if making it ruder will help. But he doesn't insist and goes over to them. I stand there, watching him and wrapping my arms around my torso to heat up, rubbing my shoulders.

He laughs with them, talks and shakes their hands. There I know he belongs to there, to them and I don't. I don't fucking belong to here. I don't belong to anywhere. I turn back to walk away and I bump into someone.

"Pierce," he murmurs, and I look up to face Richard.

"Butler," I say, imitating his tone.

"You are here."

"Oh, really?" I mock, rolling my eyes. When he keeps staring at me, I shove him out of my way. "Bye."

"Where are you going?" He yells.

"Wherever it takes."

He catches up with me. "I was so bored anyway," he says, smiling at me.

"Who said you are coming?" I ask, arching my eyebrow. "Stay away from me."

"Who did you come here with?" He asks instead.

"What? Now do you expect me to explain you stuff?"

"Maybe," he says with an annoying smirk.

"Fuck off, seriously I'm not in the mood," I huff, pushing him but he doesn't give up.

"Seriously," he continues. "This is my party and I didn't invite you."

"I love interfering," I spit. "Don't worry, I'm leaving anyway," I add. Didn't Cal say that they aren't in good terms? Why would he come to his party?

"With Calvin, right?" He says, ignoring me. "I should've guessed."

"Congratulations, asshole - now you deserve a Nobel." I roll my eyes.

He laughs lightly. Then, his eyes dart away, at where crowd is. "Seems like he ditched you."

I look at him nervously, my eyes sliding onto Cal who is still having fun with others. "No," I say, sounding a bit offended. I shake my head quickly. "I sent him there."

"Right, you are the dominant side."

"What are you mumbling, Butler?"

"You look sweet together," he says, laughing. "I just wonder...what's your plan?" I narrow my eyes. "Come on, Jack, you can't be really having fun with him."

"Why not?"

"Jack," Cal interferes, and we both dart our gazes on him. He looks at me, confused. "Where are you going?" He peers at Richard. "Hi."

"Hey," he replies.

"I was going to walk around a bit," I reply.

Calvin is busy with staring at Ric. "And you?" He asks dully at him.

"I was going to be her company."

I turn at him. I am about to say no but then, I remember how happy Cal was with his friends and my brain reminds me that he is just here because he saw me leaving. He feels obliged to keep me entertained. "Yes," I said instead. "He was."

Calvin looks at me and I sense hurt in his deep eyes. What, does he really want to hang around? I find myself saying the following: "Now, since you're here, would you come with me instead?" Why am I being a softie nowadays? Because you can't handle seeing him sad, my mind replies.

His face lights up and a smile plays on his lips. "Yeah, sure."

I smirk at Richard, and as Cal starts walking, I raise my middle finger at him before following Cal.

For a while, we remain silent and let the sound of waves fill the gaps between us. The silence bothers me after a while because it is so suffocating - the thoughts step into the scene and drag me into an unknown depthness. So I break the silence with a rush, a secret horror, and I mumble something that makes it less silent. "Thank you."

He looks at me, puzzled and I realise he is usually so confused around me. I don't blame him since I don't even understand myself around him. Once I'm the total bitch and then - I'm like this. Offering. Friendly. I don't know why I thank him though - I don't know what to tell.

Since I don't answer, he sighs and stops at the shore. The waves goes so and forth, washing over the dust on his shoes and he looks at me. "What?"

"Come here," he says.

"No."

He reaches to my hand and yanks me closer to himself, and I shove his hand. "You are being difficult again."

"Am I ever easy?"

"Sometimes." I glance at him. "But I like it rough."

I roll my eyes. "One day you'll just give up."

"Or you'll give up," he says, stepping one foot closer.

"You wish," I huff, peering at him and then, turning my gaze at the dark water and the moon hung over it. I tense as he draws closer but I also want him near me...to heat up, of course.

"Do you want what I wanna do now?" He asks, all of a sudden.

I look at him questioningly. And before I can ask it, he pushes me into the cold water. I lose my balance and dive into the freezing water, but jumping out soon enough. "Fuck," I yell as he laughs at me. Pushing the sticky wet hair behind, I stand up, grab his arm and pull him with me into the water before he can walk away. Soon enough, we are both wet - freezing and sticky. He coughs after getting out of the water, and glares at me. I smirk at him and laugh. Then, I realise we are so close - so close that I can feel his breath on my face. And my smile drops. I try hard not to drop my gaze at his lips - which seems so probable right now - and I realise he looks at me in a weird way.

"Jack," he whispers but I hear it well enough because we are just like two murmurs away from each other.

I just keep staring at him as if I just swallowed my tongue. Jack, girl, what the hell happens to you? Back away. I repeat, back off. Our breaths are heavy and this is exactly the same as it is in the stupid romance movies. I don't like where this is going - but my body thinks otherwise.

I feel his cold hand around my neck, and that awakes me up. I need to stop this.

Come on, say something. Say. Something.

"Whoosh," I say finally, faking a laughter. "Dude, it was fun." Then, I withdraw from him quickly, finding my way out of water. When I glance back at him, he looks at me disappointed.

Yet all I feel is my heart pounding against my chest.

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