QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it's all that matters."
― Audrey Hepburn

Dedication: @mythesque (she's my little sister)

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CHAPTER NINE

Solitude is infectious - wait, it isn't infectious in a way that it spreads among people, it's infectious on its own, in one body, it spreads through the veins till there's not a single cell that isn't alone. Thus, in better words, it's addictive. Eye-catching. Peaceful. From a very detailed experience, I know that it's the most peaceful way of living, for a couple of weeks - or months if you are stubborn enough. But after then, I can assure you that loneliness is the loudest scream in the void. It doesn't only deafen people but also blinds them. It's so loud that it makes you unable to hear anything else - it prevents you from concentrating or living. If you're alone, it's a full-time job. It even comes to your bed with you.

Frankly, thoughts are loud. But if you are surrounded by people, you don't hear them. It's like a song that you know playing on the background and you're so busy to listen to it carefully. You know that it exists, and it's your choice to rise the volume or not. But if you are a loner, even the walls are speaking. They are the reminders of how lonely you are, and you know you're actually talking to the walls when you catch yourself speaking your thoughts out. There is no one else to listen, or to care, so you think walls are the ideal match to befriend. Or mirrors. Sometimes any pets you encounter with. Anything unlike human.

In fact, if you are like me, if you've lost all the faith and patience in humanity, you know even the walls are more faithful. At least they won't tell your secrets - or better, they won't keep them in mind. After an abundance of backstabbing and dishonesty, I am so done with everyone. I've been so done for a long time. I've started to live for nothing - breathe hatred if possible. I've grown a field of hatred seeds, and I know if I could sell them, I'd be so rich.

I wanted to believe that one day, by a miracle, someone enters and burns out all the seeds that I've grown - debunks my theories, makes me believe in humanity again. It was the beginning of my character development though, where I still carried a bit of hope, that venomous emotion within me.

Then, gone was all the hope, love that I happened to feel towards humans and life. Instead of suicide thoughts, I decided on hating everyone and making their lives miserable because where is the fun of leaving so soon?

I hate everyone. Almost.

I remember the epic speech I performed downstairs and curse at myself. Why couldn't I hold myself from spitting everything out? Now, she knows more than I want her to do.

Another reason to hate people. They make you lose your mind. They draw you crazy and you spit out things you never plan to. They dig your secrets. They make you hate them - they make your life miserable and they fuck your mind.

While thinking of those important topics, suddenly a knock cuts off my inner speech and make me angry again. I think I explained enough that I don't want to do anything with her. Why does she keep pushing? When I don't open the door, another knock follows. "What, Mum?" I shout, pissed off. "Wasn't the speech enough? Go away."

"Erm, Jack." It isn't Mum. It's Calvin. Shocked by his voice, I saunter to the door and open it slowly, unlocking. Seeing him in front of my door is quite surprising. Did Mum invite him in? "Mrs. Pierce said that you are in your room," he explains right before I ask. "Is everything okay?" He says as he examines my face, and probably notices that I'm flushed.

"Yes," I spit, as I gesture him in. "But I'm not coming to Arby's."

He frowns at me as I go and sit on my bed, folding my legs together. "Why not?"

"I'm not in the mood."

He slowly moseys in and sits next to me. Then, he looks up at me against my sharp glance. "What happened?" He asks softly, with a pitiful expression taking over his face, and I hate it. I hate when people pity me. I hate it when I look so pitiful. I basically hate.

"What makes you think something has happened?" I spit back, though I know it's probably the worst comeback.

"I don't know," he shrugs, "maybe because you look like you've been crying and so has your mother and you now say you're ditching me."

"One, I wasn't crying. Two, I don't give a shit - well, that I ditch you shouldn't be a surprise." I quickly change my mind about saying I don't give a shit about Mum. It would reveal something, too.

"Okay," he sighs, "then, we are hanging out here, huh?"

"We?" I burst out. "No. Not we. Only me. You out."

He eye around with a smile on his face. "Your room is messy," with his comment, I look around and yeah, I'm not the tidiest person in the world, especially considering his room. "Let's clean it."

"Huh no," I scoff. "I like it messy."

"I guessed so," he hums. When I look at him intently, he says: "I'm not going anywhere it's what you expect - I'm not leaving you alone like this. Even though you say you're fine, it's so obvious that you aren't." Right then, I feel something so warm inside me, that causes to the next move. I don't know why I've done it but it feels good.

Yeah, I yank closer and hug him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He must be so startled that he doesn't hug me back for a while, but then he slowly wrap his arms around my waist.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He whispers against my skin, his head rested on my shoulder.

"Shut up," I say back, biting a laugh back.

"Seriously, what happened to the keep-your-distance rule?"

"Shut up, I said." I murmur, closing my eyes. And I really feel better, as if I'm not alone. I don't know if words can explain or I'm that talented to put it into words, but it's fucking good. It's been so long since I felt like someone is there for me. Maybe Calvin is that person who can make me destroy the walls I built in years to protect myself. There is only one way to learn: to wait. Because I can't destroy them myself, he must. Do I want him to? I'm not sure.

"Thank you," I mutter after a while.

"What for?" He inquires, bemused.

"Everything, I guess," I say as I withdraw to look at him. "You can be really a pain in the ass, mostly, and I sometimes try hard not to punch you and you drive me mad but well, there are some moments that you are nice, too. Well, you help me, thanks."

"I'm not sure if I should be offended or honoured."

"Both, maybe." I laugh and he laughs along with me.

"Glad to make you feel better," he says, smiling genuinely.

"I've never said I feel better."

"You don't need to, your face tells enough - your eyes."

I roll my eyes. "I'm hungry."

"My offer still stands."

I look at him, smiling. "Then, let's go."

***

About thirty minutes later, we are sat and eating our menus, correctly he is eating and I am devouring in silence. The place is not so crowded which is perfect since people get on my nerves. Less than ten minutes and I'm done with my meal. I glance at Calvin, who has only eaten the half of his burger, and even less curly fries. Though I feel full enough, I can't help staring at his fries because he's breaking a new record at eating slowly. I feel like a hungry person comparing to him, oh, maybe I am.

He looks up at me, questioningly, then he spots my meal and a knowing grin plays on his face. "The drawbacks of eating so soon," he murmurs as he tucks another piece of fries into his mouth.

Getting so mad, I lean and grab one of his fries and bite it. "Well," I say with a smirk on my face, "when you eat so soon, you can always steal your friend's fries."

He covers them with his one arm protectively. "They are mine. You've eaten yours."

"But I want more." I pout fakely.

He points with his head. "Go, buy some."

"Where is the fun in that?" I huff. "I want yours."

He shakes his head and continues to eat, and in a short time, he's done with his burger. He eats faster since I clarify that I'm interested in his meal. He is cautious and his arm is still covering the fries. I need to find a trick to get them from him. As he keeps eating, I pause and think, my eyes on him and the fries.

Shove his hand. Not fun.

Knock his head down on the table. Tempting but not fun. It may hurt him, too. Not that I care but still.

Tell him something that will focus his attention on something else. Indeed!

Then, the only thing is what I will say to him that will turn his attention elsewhere. A smirk taking over my lips, I find an idea that will surely work.

"Cal," I say seriously and he looks at me. "I need to tell you something."

He pauses, which means fries are free, and I continue. "Well, I'm interested in girls."

"What?"

"Yeah, you're my best friend so you should meet my girlfriend," - my eyes slide on a specific point of the restaurant, at the door - "and that's why I arranged a secret meeting."

He immediately turns his head behind to glance at where I am staring and by the time he does so, I grab the whole pocket of fries and start to run towards the exit. Seconds later, he realises that his fries are gone and I can hear him coming after me. "Those are mine," he yells as we run along the streets, and I try to tuck as much as possible into my mouth as I flee, but when I turn back, I notice he's getting closer. I make a maneuver and run into an isolated street, but unfortunately, it has an end. Damn my luck.

I stop and try to eat the rest of fries, but suddenly I'm smashed against the wall by Calvin. We are both breathless, our foreheads almost touching. He has an annoyed expression on his face, and his arm is rested next to my head. "Girlfriend, huh?"

I let out a breathy laugh. "You should've shared, Cally Puppy."

He looks into the pocket and sees it's empty. "You're cruel, Jackie Cookie."

I have some left in my hand since he doesn't give me the opportunity to finish and I tuck them in his mouth quickly. "Not so cruel."

He swallows them, his Adam's apple moving, and there I notice how close we are. I can feel his breath on his face, which smells of burger and coke. I push him lightly, creating myself a way to walk away. In turn, he grabs my wrist.

"You ate my fries, I deserve something in return."

I roll my eyes, spinning at him. "What do you want, Cal?"

"A kiss wouldn't be bad."

I narrow my eyes. "I don't kiss anyone." Then, getting rid of his grip, I start walking through the street.

"Come on, I'm not anyone. I am your best friend."

A smile forms on my lips. "That makes you anyone." He's walking beside me and I earn a groan from him. I roll my eyes again, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"You didn't ask me where I wanted to be kissed," he mocks, smirking at me.

"It's all you get, anyway."

As we walk, I can't help smiling because this idiot knows how to make me happy.

***