QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?

Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences."

― Emery Allen

Dedication: @svevabennett (for her sweet comments and support)

***

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Next morning, I wake up with the cheerful voice of Mum. It takes me a while to sober up because I have slept in three and it is probably eight or something. I couldn't sleep because of thinking. I thought of how to sort this out. What to tell him. Calvin I know won't leave this at yesterday. He will seek out for answers - answers I don't quite have.

I think of skipping school today because school means I have to face him. I don't want to. Correctly, I am not ready. I keep replaying last night in my head and I can't figure out how it happened. Was he so desperate to open up? Because I gave no signals that would make him think that I might feel something towards him. I was so rude towards him, I pushed him as he said. I don't even know the true meaning behind his message.

I pause for a while. Why do I even care? Why do I act so vulnerable? If I don't want to see him, I won't. I'll tell him to fuck off. I'll hurt him if necessary. I can shoo him. He has no effect on me. Really? At least he doesn't know that he does.

I groan when I open my eyes and feel the weight on my knees. It is a tray - full of breakfast? I glance at her in disbelief. Did she really prepare me breakfast?

"Good morning," she sings as she opens my window. I feel the fresh air filling the room and my lungs. It makes me feel better - slightly. But I am still clueless why she is being so caring. I insulted her and acted horridly recently and I thought she might hate me. Apparently she is still trying. When she turns at me again, with a huge smile (like how can she find the energy to smile as bright as the sun when I have no energy to even breathe?), I look at her, bemused.

"What is this?"

"Oh, that," she breathes, as if she hasn't brought it herself in the first place, "Breakfast."

I roll my eyes. Are people kidding me nowadays? "I am clearly seeing that. Why?" I ask firmly. On the tray, she made pancakes for me. I remember the last time she has ever done that was when I was seven.

"You seemed down yesterday so I thought this may make you happy." The disappointment can be read all over her face as she leans in to take the tray from me but I don't let her.

"No," I say quickly, "thank you."

She smiles and sits beside me on bed. She watches me as I take a bite from pancake. It is so delicious, just as the old days. I keep eating and she sits, watching me. It feels peaceful right there.

"It is so delicious," I say in-between and she chuckles.

"I am glad." Then, she clears her throat. I don't like the sound of that. It is the sign of something big coming up. Something serious. I am not serious, why don't people understand that by now? "I want to catch up with you, Jacqueline," she mutters slowly. "I want to know you better."

That look on her face, which looks caring and guilty, kills me. Makes me guilty. "I've always been here, Mum," I deadpan. "You never cared before."

She shuts her eyes, sighing. "I don't want to speak about what I haven't done but what I want to do."

"Well, you can't just get to know me better, Mum. I'm like iJack 17.1 and you are stuck at 7.8. You can't update it and you cannot buy a new Jack either."

To my surprise, she chuckles. "You are so funny." I wasn't trying to be funny, Mum, that is the problem. "I know I can't buy a new Jack," - she caresses my arm - "I don't want to replace my daughter either. But I know we can make it better. We can work this." 

I sigh. "Okay, I'll let you try." I have so many drama going on in my life and I want to reduce it as much as possible. "You can try to make it better for both of us. But don't await me to make efforts because I fucking stopped it years ago."

"You swear, uhm, a lot," she says with a straight but uncomfortable expression.

I can't help but snicker. "Rule 1. If you want to know me better, start it from acknowledging that %75 of my vocabulary is cuss."

She nods. "Do you have to swear around me?" She asks timidly. "I'm not used to hear-"

"You want to know me. I am cuss. Cuss is me."

"Yeah, right," she sighs, giving up.

"And call me Jack. Never Jacqueline, okay?" I can't help remembering the message once again. I need to stop caring.

"Okay." She looks like she memorises all the rules and it looks funny - and cute - that someone makes an effort for me. Calvin made an effort for you, my mind reminds. But he fucked it up all in one single night.

I stare at the clock on my nightstand when I am done with breakfast. Even though I am so sleepy, I know disappearing won't make any good. So I decide to go to school.

This is why I end up in front of Calvin.

He is picking the books from his locker and shuts it, and lifts up his gaze to meet mine. His expression tightens as he sees me but he doesn't take a step towards me. He just stands there, his hand resting on his locker as if he keeps his balance, and his gaze is locked with mine. This is harder than I thought, to resist - not to care. Suddenly everything goes silent, just him and me. I don't know how to act - to make it next to him or ignore him and pass by. The latter sounds easy but I shake my head. I am not afraid of him. Nothing bad happened either.

I walk over to him. Between steps, I steady my breaths and try to bring up my confident and cocky side. I wear a smirky face but as I draw closer, his expression makes no change. It worries me - I don't want any serious talk coming along. "Hey Cal," I say a bit more cheerfully than usual, "what's up?" It sounds awkward.

"Fine," he answers dully. Without no questioning or confused tone. Just blunt. He is still leaning on his locker, crossing his arms over his chest. "You?" I know he just asks it to be kind. But I am glad he asks that and nothing else.

"I'm fine," I answer with the same enthusiasm. I die to ask him what he meant by yesterday's message but I hold myself. It will only bring it back. "Well, uh, have a nice day then."

He just looks at me as if he doesn't get it. I don't get it, either. "That is it?" He asks. "Jack runs away, huh?"

"I don't run away, Calvin," I say firmly.

"Yeah, right, it was Jacqueline, sorry," he spits out, rolling his eyes and starts to walk. I grab him by his arm, angry.

"What do you mean?" I yell.

"I mean," he says - but someone cuts us off. Richard Butler. Fuck you. He tilts his head and faces Richard. Which means I can't get my answer.

"Hey lovebirds," Ric says cockily and I swear I am so near to punching him. He is interrupting in the worst moment and says lovebirds. Calvin rolls his eyes though, which means it more complicated. He looks so calm - so I-don't-give-a-damn. "Erm," - Richard turns at me - "Jack, we need to talk."

"What do we need to talk?" I deadpan against Cal's curious peers.

"Something."

"Okay," I mutter, looking at Calvin. "See you later, Cal."

He nods and I follow Richard along the hall. As he drags me out of school, I follow him without a word; mostly because my mind is still stuck at the conversation I've just had with Calvin and the rest of his incomplete sentence. It is like a movie going on a break in the most exciting scene. But this time, I know there is no turning back - I can't really tell him to keep up the sentence. I am so fucked up - all these events that happened lately, actually. I don't even know how my life fluctuated from less bad to horrible. I was complaining about my life and now, I want the old one back. The one I had before Calvin. When everyone was a potential enemy. When I hated everyone - or could hate. Because despite my ultimate effort, I can't hate Calvin Gilmore.

Richard keeps walking as we are out of school building, in the yard, but I pause because where the hell are we going? "Where are we going?"

He turns at me with a mysterious grin, as if there is a secret meaning beneath it. "Somewhere," he says. I bet he likes the mysterious effect he leaves on the situation.

"Spit it out, bastard, got no time for your shit."

He chuckles, his eyes shutting for a fleeting moment. "Did you hear anything called surprise before?"

"I don't get why you should be doing surprise to me," I snap.

He sighs. "Okay, I need your advice on something."

"Something as in?" I push.

"I will take you somewhere we can conveniently talk."

I walk on, in turn walking ahead of him and muttering nervously, "You are terrible at timing."

He comes after me, snickering, "Always, babe."

***

"You need my advice on something? How to get on a ferris wheel?"

We are standing in front of a ferris wheel, and he is buying us two tickets to it. I am totally clueless what advice he wishes to have from me on a ferris wheel. Do I look like an experienced person when it comes to them?

He laughs as he takes the tickets and hands them to the man who leads us to one of the cabins. My gaze is still on him; nervously and angrily. Did this idiot waste my time for this? Did he interrupt the moment because of a ferris wheel?

"I thought we could get some fun while hanging out."

"Wrong idea, mate. It seems like one of those cheesy dates," I deadpan. We are sitting face to face in the cabin, which is so small that our knees are touching; and I wish he would wipe that silly grin off his face. "Did you decide to seduce me, Butler?"

"I didn't know this is how I can seduce you, Pierce," he replies airily.

I scoff, "Of course not." When he just smirks back, I add, "Seriously, are you hitting on me or what?"

"Do you remember when I said that I might have a new love interest?"

"Yeah," I quickly reply, wondering where this is going.

"Well, I need an advice for that."

"I don't know a shit about girls - you are the womanizer."

He rolls his eyes. "The problem is - she isn't fond of me." Oh, is he talking about me?

"Who is she?"

"Stella," he replies without a second thought. I feel relieved when I learn it isn't me. I mean, I know Richard would never like me that way but still.

"Stella? Stella Foster? Isn't she the new girl?"

"Yeah," he sighs.

"Oh, looks like I am not the only smartie." I wiggle my eyebrows and this gains me an annoyed groan.

"She probably doesn't like my reputation. She is a nerd." He looks really sad - like he really cares what she thinks of him. He reminds me of myself in a weird, weird way. I feel so close because we are almost the same. Falling for the right ones but we are the wrong ones ourselves. Wait, did I just say fall - I meant - never mind.

"Oh," I breathe. "Dude, you are the walking stereotype. First cheerleader and now, nerd? What is next?"

"You," he deadpans. "Can you at least seem a bit serious? I am trying to get some advice here."

"From me. The fault in your plan." Meanwhile, we are at the top of the wheel. If there was another girl, she would think that it is romantic. To be inches away from a hot bad guy - his desperate looks on her. But I am not another girl - I am Jack. So, I am annoyed and I want to be down already. Did I mention I might be a tiny bit afraid of height?

"What can I do to make her like me?"

"Erm," I think for a second, "show that you care?"

"She doesn't even let me."

"Then, let her go - she is not worth it."

"Thanks for the advice, you are the best at giving up." Even though he is being sarcastic, I can't help mulling over the words and considering how right he might be. I am the best at giving up. "I was kidding," he says afterwards with a concerned look on his face. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I say quietly, "I am."

"You've changed, Pierce," he says, leaning back and throwing his arm at the side of the seat. His eyes wander around the picturesque. The world is under our feet - it is amazing. "You are nicer." His eyes meet mine again with a soft smile.

"You've changed, too," I reply. "Maybe we aren't that bad, huh, Ric? Maybe there is still hope for us."

He shakes his head no. "I don't think so. We've sunk at the bottom."

"You are so optimistic," I mock. "But you may be right. We probably screwed."

He tilts his eyebrow. "What's up with you?"

Although I never thought I would share it with him, I find myself explaining him about last night. He listens, surprisingly, without saying a word and I feel instantly better - letting it out. "I don't know, Ric, it was kind of unexpected."

"Unexpected?" He repeats. "I think you are blind."

"What? You mean you knew it?"

"I didn't - but it doesn't mean I didn't get it afterwards. Who would even want to be friends with you, Pierce? Either he must be in love with you or not right in the head."

I smile. "What about you, then?"

"I am not right in the head. You should've gotten it by now." He smiles along with me.

"We are fucked." I say in disbelief. "I mean - this is insane. My life was normally boring till he knocked in."

"It is the thing about love, isn't it?"

"Don't go all romantic on me," I snap. "What will I do?"

"Do you love him?"

"No," I answer. I might like him a little bit but it isn't love. It is - he is the only one I've had. Maybe that's why I feel so affectionate. I don't want to lose him, and I know eventually I will.

"Then, let him go - he's not worth it." After seconds, I realise he is kidding with me. He uses my words on me just to be hilarious.

"You, bastard,"  I yell, half-laughing. I kick his leg. "Be serious."

"Never with you." I groan, and as a response, he laughs. "You know what? Let's take a selfie."

"What's up with you and selfies?" Simultaneously, he is next to me, swinging his arm around me. "Seriously, Ric, are you stupid? I don't want to be in the same picture with you."

"Come on, you look gorgeous when you smile."

"Stop hitting on me." I look at the camera and fake a smile. "That's it - I don't want another picture."

"Alright alright," he says when he tucks his phone into his pocket. Then, he puts a kiss on my cheek - a quick one.

"Ric," I yell angrily, "what the hell." I wipe off my cheek with my hand and glare at him. "I want to throw you down."

"I'm so ravishing to die, Pierce, the world will miss me."

"I hate you, Butler."

Minutes later, we are finally at the bottom, getting out of the cabin. He still has that sheepish smile on his face that I want to punch out of him. We walk through his car without saying a word but I am actually better than before even though I would never admit it to that idiot. At least, this took my mind off Calvin a bit.

"It was another date," he sing-says.

"You basically forced me on this," I deadpan. "Now shut up and drive me home."

***