{ Ya'll know I accidentally spilled the fluff powder all over the place... time to grab my angst mop and clean it up :D

Also I'm really sorry for the late update. I'll tell everyone this in my other book that was delayed as well, but things have been so hard lately. I had a major depressive spell and my health suffered. I lost weight (currently hovering around 115 pounds, which is 15 lighter than before) and I've been dealing with a lot of issues. One of my cats passed away. I had to move. Really, there's just been so much. Normally I would warn people before taking a break, but even facing everyone right now takes a lot out of me. I'm embarrassed that my functioning can be impacted so much. Either way, I just wanted to get that out there and let you know why it's taken me so long. Sorry for the delay. My upload schedule might be wonky for a while, but I'd like to think I'm getting better. 

Love you all <3

-Soki}

Dino had been forgiven after the money heist, but he knew exactly who was to blame for the funds being taken. It only made him hate Ash even more. It was like he'd created a monster, and even as Ash's beauty made him bow down to his own perverted wishes, he also wanted to strangle the life out of him.

" Arthur, you are to make the first move. Kill as many of his guys as you can. Focus on mass gatherings of them... and the Chinese are fair game as well. Kill them."

" Yes sir." Arthur smirked. He truthfully couldn't wait to settle things with Ash once and for all. Even if Dino wanted to kill Ash himself, he knew that if it came down to it, he would take his opportunity to fight him if it came up.

" I want him to feel the same pain he's caused me..." Dino said, and there was a crazed look in his eyes as he thought about Ash being tortured in his hands. He couldn't wait to use him and push him to the limit.

" And he will, rightfully so." Arthur told him. " I will see to it, sir."

" Killing his guys will lure him out of wherever he is hiding, and I hope that Japanese brat is with him so we can take him." Dino added.

" If you don't mind my asking, why can we not just kill him?" Arthur asked.

" Because he's smitten with him... there is no other man in his army who'd he do anything for and I can see it in his eyes. I know him better than anyone." Dino explained. " And that's why Ash will watch him die by my hands... I own him. I always have and I always will. He seems to have forgotten... but I will jog his memory."

Even Arthur was scared stiff from Dino's words, knowing he had to do as the other asked of him.

...

That next morning, Ash's eyes popped open early. He took a couple seconds to adjust to the light and blink a few times, but when he realized Eiji was still sleeping and tucked against him, he didn't move. His arm was still draped over him and he realized he'd come to hug him like a body pillow over the course of the night.

He felt like there had been pressure on his chest before he'd cuddled with Eiji. And don't get him wrong, he was still nervous about Eiji's reaction and pain if he died soon, and that was a lot of pressure, but he didn't feel like he was lying anymore.

At least now, Eiji knew that he might've had feelings that amounted to more than friends and way more than roommates. He wondered if maybe Eiji would tell him his own feelings as well, or if this was all unspoken. Maybe it was... who was to say?

All he knew was that he couldn't in good conscience wake Eiji up. Plus, he liked the way his body felt when he was pressed against Eiji. It was like he felt warm for the first time in a long time.

Ash closed his eyes and felt at peace for a moment, leaning his face against Eiji's shoulder blade. He knew that no matter what, he had to protect him until the end.

It was a while later before Ash felt stirring in his arms, looking up to find that Eiji's eyes were struggling open. As the other squirmed a bit and rolled over to face him, Ash admired his sleepy eyes and felt content.

" Good morning..." Eiji yawned. He slowly reached and let his palm rest on Ash's chest, enjoying how close they were. He felt safe, and he also felt like he knew exactly where Ash was, like he was protecting him. There was no part about it that felt weird, not even in the slightest. Though, he did feel like it was difficult to keep his mouth shut for much longer, especially with his love for Ash being reciprocated, at least in some way.

" Morning..." Ash said, smiling a little. The sun coming in from the living room windows shined in his green eyes and made Eiji's heart skip a beat.

" Did you make coffee?" Eiji asked, sitting up somewhat. He didn't want to move, but he also knew that he needed coffee if he was going to get started on schoolwork soon. And for that to happen, he had to give up Ash's embrace.

" No... I didn't want to wake you up." Ash told him.

Eiji felt the slightest bit of tension between he and Ash as they stared at each other, but he had to get up. If he remained there like that with Ash, there was no telling what might've happened.

" Thank you for that... but I have school to catch up on..." Eiji said as he scurried to the kitchen. He was definitely still half asleep and looked pitiful with his bedhead. And Ash realized Eiji had sensed the tension between them, thinking it was kind of adorable how he'd run from it. Still, though, he was waiting to see if Eiji would talk to him about what happened the night before.

Ash rolled off of the couch, coming over and leaning up against the fridge, glancing over at Eiji.

And Eiji listened to the coffee pot brewing, looking at Ash and seeing that he had a sort of smug look on his face. It wasn't cocky or anything, but it was... triumphant? He knew Ash felt good about the night before, maybe since he'd been waiting to do something like that? Who even knew. All Eiji knew was that Shorter had been right that Ash would make the move.

Did this mean that all bets were off and he could finally be up front about what he was feeling? He wondered if he could be open about his love, or if it would've made the American uncomfortable. Eiji didn't know how love worked in this country. He knew that Americans didn't profess it before getting close, but he and Ash were the epitome of closeness.

" What's that look for?" Eiji asked him, blushing slightly. He'd been cuddling with Ash all night! How could he not blush?!

Ash chuckled to himself, rubbing a hand through his hair.

" Oh... nothing. Just... you're much more of a cuddler than I expected." Ash smirked a bit. He loved to poke fun at Eiji, especially right then.

Eiji felt like he was going to explode. If he would've been holding something right then, it would've been shattered on the floor. He felt like a deer in headlights, like he should've had something to say. Still, though, all he could think of was his own confession... that was clearly how he felt.

" Really?" He asked, nervously laughing and fumbling with the coffee pot. " No one's ever told me that before..."

Almost every fiber of his being was telling him to just be honest with Ash, come clean about everything, his feelings, the way he saw him, how he wanted to be there for him and protect him from harm. But what would Ash do? That was Eiji's biggest fear in that moment.

Ash watched Eiji and read him like an open book. The other was terrible at lying, terrible at hiding his emotions. In that moment... it felt like logic was thrown out the window. When he was with Eiji, he felt normal and like he could say flirty things. He felt like he could let himself be touched or even made fun of... but there had to be more to it.

" That's a shame." Ash replied coyly. " Cause-"

Before he could finish what he was going to say, his phone rang from its spot on the couch cushion. Eiji breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing what would've happened if Ash got to complete that thought out loud.

" A-... Aren't you going to get that?" Eiji stammered.

Ash sighed.

" I suppose." He said, going over and flopping on the couch like always. It was Shorter, and Ash wondered what the hell was wrong now. Lately, when Shorter called, it wasn't for any good reason.

" Ash!" He yelled as soon as the line picked up. " It's my guys!"

" What, what's going on?" Ash asked, realizing in his tone that something very serious was going on. He was quick to get back on his feet, keeping his phone pressed to his ear. He tied the strings on his Converse in a matter of seconds.

" Chang Dai! They- Arthur planted a bomb! I lost five of my guys!" Shorter exclaimed, and Ash knew just from the tone in his voice that he was trembling from anger.

" Shit! Did you get him?" Ash asked, standing up.

" No! The bastard made a run for it! Now there's cops sniffing around!" Shorter took a deep breath so he could stop yelling so much. " I'm in the car with my sister. I got her a plane ticket for China until this shit blows over..."

" Where should I meet you?" Ash questioned.

" Congregate your guys in the alley behind your pub hangout. My guys will be there too. I'll be there in a couple hours. Tonight-... Ash, you know what you have to do." Shorter said, and Ash knew that there was no denying it in that moment. He had to make contact with Cain if they were going to make it through this gang war with anyone left, let alone win it.

" I know. See you soon." Ash hung up, putting his phone aside, but then he looked down and noticed he was wearing pajama pants. Like HELL he would let his guys see him domesticated like that. He cursed to himself and took off his shoes, heading back to the bedroom. Meanwhile, Eiji was standing there with wide eyes. He waited for Ash to explain himself, but when that didn't happen, he followed Ash back there.

" What is happening?" He asked the blonde, who had shed his shirt and grabbed one of the new ones from the drawer. Eiji tried to ignore the shirtless aspect, being as they clearly had more serious matters on their hands.

" Shorter's family restaurant was bombed by Arthur. I have to organize the guys." Ash told him, then slipped out of his pants, grabbing jeans. There was hardly anyone else in the world who he would strip in front of like that besides Eiji.

Eiji gasped and covered his mouth, already worrying about Shorter and everyone else.

" Ash, what are you going to do?" He asked, and Ash pulled up his pants, buttoning them.

" I have to handle this, Eiji." He told him, rushing to grab his gun before fleeing from the room. He wasn't running, but it was a very swift walk. He was already trying to get his shoes back on before Eiji stepped in front of the door.

" What? So you're just going to rush in head first like a hothead? For all you know, Arthur is still hanging around and trying to lure you out!" Eiji told him, upset about the way Ash was rushing. He needed to get a grip before he could help anyone.

" What else do you want me to do?!" Ash barked, angrily tying his shoes. " These guys are the only thing standing between us and Dino! Do you understand that? I need to protect you and us and everyone else!" He stood and looked down at Eiji, clearly agitated as he was emotional.

" You can't protect anything if you get yourself killed." Eiji looked down, and tears came to gather in the corners of his eyes as he stared at the floor. There was a lump in his throat. He didn't want to be seen as a burden to Ash or some helpless puppy he had to take care of. If anything, they both should've been going. " Let me go with..."

Ash's eyes widened.

" Hell no! You're safe here!" He raised his voice.

" I can't help you if I'm here!" Eiji finally lost his temper and looked up with tears streaming down his cheeks. " Don't leave me like this to worry! I told you I was here to stay!"

At least if Eiji went... he might've been able to keep Ash steady. When things really got dangerous was when Ash's anger took him over, and in the green eyes before him... Eiji could see the rage. He kept blocking the door, his back being against it.

Ash felt his heart aching. Eiji was everything to him... his salvation. And as much as it hurt him, he knew that Eiji was safer in the condo than somewhere else.

" It's too dangerous! I can't let you get hurt!"

" Then I can't let you go!" Eiji wiped his eyes, his face sinking as he became serious. If Ash was leaving just to be a hothead, then there was no way he could let him out. At least... he had to give him time to breathe and cool off first.

Ash felt his body shaking as he tried to contain himself. Eiji was really making him seethe, but what else could he do? He attempted a deep breath, then put his hands on Eiji's shoulders.

" I'm sorry, but if you don't step away, I'm going to do it for you." He told Eiji, and Eiji realized in that moment that Ash was dead serious as well.

" Please... don't..." He pleaded. " I..." It almost came out of Eiji's mouth, that fucking word that lurked over his shoulder constantly, but he bit it back. " I can't lose you..."

" And I can't lose you." Ash told him, their faces being very close together right then. He picked Eiji up and switched their positions, his own back being by the door after that. All he had to do was turn the handle and leave, that was all. But it seemed impossible.

" Ash..." Eiji's voice cracked and he took a hold of Ash's wrist. He didn't want to think about Ash getting hurt, or worse... dying. " I'm begging you. Calm down first..."

" There's no time... Arthur might still be around and trying to kill my guys." Ash actually felt bad about having to leave Eiji there, and he almost felt like he had to tell him things before he went. But he also thought that he might come back. He didn't want to tell Eiji when they were both angry.

Eiji held Ash's wrist and tried to stay strong. It wasn't like he didn't know what he was getting into with this, right? What was so different now?

Not able to take any more yelling, Eiji sniffled and let his face sink against Ash's chest. He realized that there was no stopping him by then, gripping the front of his shirt and trembling.

" Please... please... I need you to stay safe..." He whimpered, and Ash felt tears in his eyes, rubbing Eiji's back.

" I will... but you need to stay here..." Ash told him, his voice soft and shaky. Clearly, he was ready to cry as well.

Eiji knew that he couldn't listen to that. He wanted to be there with Ash and help him, not wait around like some housewife, meandering about until Ash could come back. He knew that he would follow him, protect him from himself.

Ash restrained himself from what he wanted. He wanted to kiss Eiji goodbye, not sure if he'd ever get another chance to, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, as Eiji pulled back from him, he slipped out the door. 

{ Love me some good angst... but I might have to build a bunker to hide from ya'll if this keeps up lmao.}