THE SINGER WALKED INSIDE MY HOME with his hands in the pockets of his purple silk jacket, his big chocolate eyes scanning the apartment. There was some sort of tension in his pose, like he just realized he shouldn't have come here at all. I chewed on my bottom lip and closed the door behind him, not knowing how to react at his surprise visit. Deep down I was still mad at the way he had ditched me, but after we talked and the fact that he had arrived here of all places after he landed... I couldn't hold the grudge for too long.

I glanced back at the singer. The way he scanned the space made me feel so unbelievably small and insignificant, especially in my baggy tee shirt and hair up in a ponytail. Just that same silk jacket he was wearing probably costed more than half my belongings. Paul didn't belong here. He didn't belong here with me.

"It's nice, " he said after a moment, catching me completely off guard, "It's cozy, it's colorful and pretty. Just the place I imagined you in."

The words made a small smile bloom on my face and I glanced down to my pink slippers in a desperate attempt to gather my thoughts again. Paul was still looking around, scanning the living room curiously and suddenly I almost slapped my forehead at how stupid I have been.

"Oh my gosh I totally forgot, do you want something to drink?" He had said he wanted to talk, so that meant he was staying for a while, right? I quicked into the kitchen, leaving the door open, and opened one of the upper cupboards. I felt a pair of eyes on my back as I rummaged through the shelves.

"I have, " I grabbed an aluminum box, one if those in which people usually kept spices, and opened it, the smell hitting my nose. "Peppermint tee, " I closed the box and placed it next to the sink. "I can make you a coffee too, even though it might be too late for that, " I babbled, reaching out for the small box with cocoa. "I can make a hot chocolate too. I think... I also may have an unopened scotch somewhere, if you're into that really."

I turned around, almost pushing one of the boxes on the floor, only to meet a small, appreciative smile. "A tea's okay, thanks." I turned around to pour some water in the tea kettle, waiting for it to boil. A few steps were heard behind my back and a soft thud as Paul probably landed on my couch, stilling silently. I watched until small bubbles formed in the water and took two mugs, pouring the tea in them.

I grabbed the cups, two colorful pieces of porcelain that I once got as a move-in gift, and walked back to the living room. The first thing I saw was Paul lying relaxed against my yellow couch, his dark eyes closed. His long eyelashes brushed lightly against his cheek, attracting the attention to the smooth, spotless skin of his face. I left the mugs on the coffee table, the porcelain meeting the glass with a soft click.

Paul looked so peaceful that it seemed almost criminal to worry him in that state of bliss. I thought he was going to open his eyes and sit up again when he heard me walk back in the living room, but all he did was let out a deep breath, making a black curl fall on his face. His face twitched, but he didn't try to blow it away, making the corners of my mouth twitch upwards.

I didn't know what got into me in that moment, but I took the soft strand of hair between my fingers and moved it away, running my fingers through the rest of the black mane, stroking it gently. The hair were just as soft as imagined it would be, a puffy cloud that felt like silk underneath my fingertips. Just as I thought I had gotten too far and was about to move my hand away, Paul let out a quiet purr of approval.

"Oh, that's nice, " he murmured softly and my heart sped up in my chest. "I could stay like that forever."

I swirled a soft curl between my fingers, tugging on it gently and Paul let out another inaudible sigh, his lips curving in an o-shape, eyes fluttering open. "Oh, don't be a tease just yet, " he winked up at me and I laughed, looking away for a second to clear my head and not let him see my reddening cheeks. I sat down on the couch next to him and took the cups, the lead singer taking one from between my hands with a 'thanks' leaving his mouth. He raised the mug in the air to give it a better look and smiled again.

"Paul, if you don't stop making fun of my belongings, I'm gonna have to throw you out of the window."

Paul let out an amused laugh, his eyes glowing as they found mine. "I'm not making fun of anything, " he declared, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a sip, "it's just... everything here screams you. All the way from the furniture, through the cups and even 'Love Gun' lying on that shelf. It has such a Lillian vibe and it's perfect, really."

"Thanks. I try."

"I guess, " he took another sip and curled his fingers around the cup, bringing it closer to his nose and inhaling the minty scent. The atmosphere itself was so calm and domestic, Paul's presence so comforting in the cold February night. I hated, I hated the fact that I had to bring it up, but otherwise it would leave us both with too many questions. I took a deep breath that made Paul give me a questioning look.

"When you walked in here... " I started and the lead singer's face change to serious. He took a deep breath himself, like he was bracing for what he was about to say.

"I said that I'm in. I want to do it. I want to be with you." He stated, placing the cup back on the table and looking at me, his dark eyes mere inches away from mine, firmer and full of some determination I had never seen before. "I'm a hundred percent in if you are."

My heart sped up at the words. The thought that... that Paul would ever consider me as a potential... I don't know. Girlfriend? Partner? Whatever? After his phone call I had just decided that he didn't really want to get himself into anything, especially after the condition I had put, the one I knew I'd always stand up for. I was not interested in sharing him with anyone.

"It took me a while to get there, you know, " he continued with an almost bitter laugh, tearing his eyes away from me and turning to the window to stare in the night. Not that there was much to look at, the only real view my place offered was from the bedroom. "I didn't even like you at first. Did you know that we voted for hiring you, the four of us and Bill?" I shook my head. Paul laughed again. "Yeah, it was 4:1. Guess who was against it..."

I was sitting there in silence. If Paul was telling me this... then maybe things were way more serious for him than I had intended. Maybe there was something a lot more in him that I could never see. Not until now anyway.

The singer didn't seem bothered by my silence and snorted a bitter laugh. "Istill remember your job interview. It was... two years ago, right?" I nodded. Paul shook his head with a smile. "I can't believe it was so long ago. Still, I thought you were way too spiteful, too loud-mouthed and quick to anger. I saw another Peter in you and didn't want to deal with that..."

"Damn, Paulie, there better be a 'but' after that, because I'm not inviting you again!"

Paul laughed quietly at my words and shook his head. Interrupting his story made it somehow less real, got me away from that weird feeling in my gut. It made the fact that Paul Stanley was sitting next to me in my living room and telling me he wanted to be with me much easier to comprehend. If that was possible at all.

"There is, I promise."

"Good. 'Cause I love stories where I get to shine."

Paul laughed again, leaning his elbow against the back of the couch and laying his cheek over his palm. "Don't worry, I'll get to the part where you shine. Trust me."

"I'm all ears."

"Alright, " Paul breathed in, "My impression of you didn't get better when you screamed at me that night they almost arrested Ace."

"I still stand for my words."

"God, Lillian, are you going to let me talk?" He exclaimed, waving his hands in the air, but he didn't seem annoyed. More amused than anything.

"Alright, alright. Keep talking."

"Thanks," he said, running his hand over his face. This time I didn't say anything and just waited for him to continue, that old feeling of excitement bubbling in my stomach. There was so much about our relationship that I didn't seem to know, and hearing it from Paul himself was strange and exciting. Like reading a book from another character's point of view.

"The thing is... when I came over to apologize. Bill made me apologize by the way, " he mumbled with a sheepish smile, glancing at me before he continued, "and that was the first time I think I actually saw you as another human being. Like, you had your own hobbies and interests. You didn't seem like that short-tempered bitch I had considered you to be."

I must have grimaced when he mentioned 'bitch' and Paul reached out to rub his hand over my shoulder. "Thanks, Paul."

"You know I don't mean that. Then we started talking more and more and before I knew it, I was... I think I was starting to like you. Like your company. But the actual moment I think I actually got to feel some sort of closeness was that night in the club on my birthday. You know, when you came out to me in the night. You didn't need to do that for me. No one else did. But you didn't even seem to care about that, you just wanted to make sure I didn't feel bad on my birthday.

That night was probably when I fell for you. I really wanted to say thanks, to prove how much your gesture meant to me. So I convinced Gene to give you those backstage passes for Madison Square Garden. And it pretty much went to hell."

I snorted. My aunt had called me to wish me Merry Christmas a month and a half ago, but I don't think it had changed anything. Still, they seemed to think of my not so new already job with some sort of grim acceptance and I believed it was the first step toward making up.

"It's not something you have to blame yourself for. It's just the way it is."

"Yeah but still, " Paul demanded, "my idea failed big time. And then I didn't even know what to do. You were always running around doing things. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Ace. You two seemed so close that I had started to think there was something going on, you know."

And I was just sitting there with my mouth hanging open. Paul thought that Ace and I... that I was... . Suddenly my shocked expression slowly started to turn into a grin. I eyed Paul and his face changed to dead serious.

"I was not!"

"I didn't say anything."

"But you were thinking it. I wasn't jealous. I just hated the fact that he could act so cool and natural around you and I couldn't. I wasn't jealous, " he repeated, more to convince himself and I tried to suppress my grin and let him speak. I couldn't hide that hearing someone talk about me like that had its effect on me. The fact that Paul was jealous of someone, and over me, it surely was one hell of a ego boost.

"And then we ended up locked up in my room that night. And I don't know what got into me. It was like... like the first time I actually thought that I could act. Like I couldn't coward away from what I felt because I couldn't run away. And it was great, I mean, " he glimpsed at me, then averting his eyes down, his hair covering most of his face. I could swear I saw his cheeks redden lightly, barely visible on the background of his tanned skin. "I mean, I had a great time that night. I can't remember the last time I had so much actual fun with someone in a situation that would look that shitty from the side.

Of course, I did pretty bad here too, but this story you know. And I think I owe you an apology about how I acted. The deal is... what I've been trying to say is that... I like you. I really do. You're smart and you're funny and you're so goddamn beautiful and I swear every time you add some smartass comment I don't know whether to get mad at you or kiss you." His eyes went to the wall in a flash, like he was embarrassed if the words that were coming from his mouth. Now I was positive he was blushing. I couldn't help but crack a smile. He was so cute.

"Hey, " I spoke, feeling those damn butterflies in my stomach again as I reached out to put my hand over his, inching closer. Paul gifted me another one of those soft, kind smiles of his that made me feel like they were meant only fir me. The singers eyes looked up to meet mine, but he only found them glimpsing at his full lips. His smile widened almost unnoticeably and his tongue licked his lower lip as he slowly leaned towards me. his hand grasped the edge of the couches back, ready to pull back if he needed to as his big eyes kept watch of every reaction of mine. I gathered all my courage and leaned towards him, my face so close our noses were almost bumping.

"You know," Paul mumbled and he was close, so close to me that I could feel his hot breath tickling my face. The hand that was still lying underneath my own moved to trace the knuckles on the back of my hand. "I should have done this a long time ago."

"Don't sound so bitter," I responded, taking everything in, his looks, his scent, the way his eyes shined in the lamplight, as if it was the last time I would ever see him. "You can always fix that."

Paul let out a quiet laugh that easily faded away as his lips pressed against mine. The gentle tingling I was feeling in my belly got more intense, like the butterflies got just as excited as me. If I had the ability to think I was probably going to get panicked and nervous, but Paul's mouth was soft and warm and just felt so good pressed against mine.  He shifted and I felt his hand reach up and cup my cheek, holding me close as his lips parted for his tongue to slip into my mouth. Still, the singer didn't rush, letting it trace my lip lightly, almost like a caress, like he was trying to savor the moment.

I felt like a bull in a china shop, afraid that if I moved I was going to ruin it, I was going to ruin that perfect moment with anything that I did. Still, Paul's thumb brushing against my cheek was an encouragement enough and I let my tongue slide against his, sensing the fair taste of mint on his lips. My hands snaked their way around his neck and his other hand, the one that was supporting him left the couch and wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer, until I could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Too soon. It all ended way too soon and Paul had to pull back to catch his breath, without missing to press his forehead against mine. His eyes glanced up at mine and I had to remind myself to breathe.

"God," he murmured, but had no time to say anything more as my mouth was on his again. Paul's lips curved into a smile, but he didn't move away, his hand sliding down to my abdomen and gingerly pushing me down to lay on the couch. His tongue slipped in my mouth again and as my back pressed against the pillows, I felt like I was in heaven. Paul hovered over me, one of his hands drawing shapes over my belly and the other one supporting him so he wouldn't fall over me. I tangled my hand into his hair, my fingers tugging gently on the mess of black curls and Paul moaned into my mouth. The strangled sound was downright sinful and sent a shiver down my spine.

The singer was panting in my mouth, but before we could go any further he stood up, fixing his jacket. The reaction was so sudden and unexpected that the only thing I could do was lie on the couch with my wide eyes fixed in him. My chest was heaving and I was do turned on and leaving me like this was so not fair! Paul glanced down at me and smirked.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, " he purred, stretching his arm out for me. After a moment, I grabbed it and let him pull me up and into his arms. The singer pressed a quick kiss to my lips and spoke again against my mouth, "I just think you deserve more than a quick fuck on the couch." His hand reached out for a strand of hair that had escaped my halfway undone ponytail and tucked it behind my ear. "Let me take you out to dinner."

It took me a moment to process the thought, and Paul waited patiently, smiling down at me, those big eyes making me melt underneath his gaze. "Okay, " I nodded.

"Okay, " he said back, kissing me again and grinning from ear to ear. "Put something nice on, " he reminded and stepped back from me, taking the almost empty and forgotten cup from the coffee table and finishing his tea. He asked me when to pick me up and with one last kiss at the doorway, left me alone in the night, happier and more content than I ever felt before.

..