THE SHORT BREAK WE TOOK IN NEW YORK brought a lot of changes, making it almost impossible for me to keep track of everything. Despite that, things on the 'Love Gun' tour continued to be shit, which was almost comforting in a way.

Peter and I had acted like his rage at me had never happened (which made it easier for both of us) as we would keep up with our usual friendly banter just a day later. I knew that Peter's harsh words weren't to be taken at heart — it was just the way he operated. He probably didn't mean it at all. He acted like he didn't mean it at all. Still, it felt a bit like a stab in the back, especially after my relationship with Paul.

The one that I couldn't quite understand.

Another surprise was Jeanette Trerotola, or more like her joining us for a few weeks on the tour. I had, in fact, met her a few times before, on Ace's parties. They got a little drunk, a little high and apparently enjoyed pushing their tongues into each other's mouths. That and other things.

Ace had never brought his girlfriends along, something that Paul and Gene liked to do, and also Peter with Lydia. That's what made me think their relationship was something a lot more serious than I had expected. Ace seemed a little bit more grounded around her, happier even. And I was happy for him.

Jeanette also immediately clicked with Lydia and a small, ridiculous part of me was afraid. I don't really understand what made me feel like it, maybe some primal jealousy, the fear that she would take both Ace and Lydia away from me. Maybe it was the always self-conscious, the always nervous part of me that thought I needed someone to help me figure myself out at that very moment. Especially after I had almost kissed Paul Stanley on that plane two weeks ago.

"Hey, Ground Control to Major Tom, " Lydia snapped her fingers at my face, making me blink rapidly a few times before I turned to look at her. "I asked if you're gonna miss me while I'm gone?"

Jeanette, who was sitting on my other side, giggled at the question and I glared at Lydia. "Not at all."

She pouted her lip and slapped my arm when I turned my attention away from her once again. "L! C'mon, what's wrong with you!"

I tried not to grin at the offended reaction, reaching out and slapping her arm in return. "Maybe you're annoying and always want to set me up."

Lydia rolled her eyes and leaned towards me. "It's not my fault that you don't wanna ask Paul out, " she shout-whispered, still loud enough for the other woman to hear. My head snapped at her direction, and although she didn't seem to be listening to us at all, I bared my teeth at Lydia.

"Shut the fuck up!"

The other woman just pulled my arm in her direction and almost seated me into her lap when she whispered in my ear again, quieter this time. "Dude she knows. She told me that she had noticed you two from the start. Like, remember when you carried paper bags for him when he wouldn't stop throwing up on that flight?"

I squinted my eyes at her. Of course I remembered. Paul was so sick during last week that he needed the doctors to shoot hum up with some medicine to get him through one of the shows. Of course, he ended up straight to bed after the concerts and wouldn't stop bitching about missing 'all the fun'. Especially when all the fun meant another busty blonde. I clenched my teeth those comments every time, just because groupies were such a pain in the ass these days.

Of course, Ace was sure that throwing up wasn't why Paul couldn't have sex at all. No, the singer had terrible diarrhea because of the flu and every time he let go, he was facing the fear of shitting himself. I laughed at this harder than I had to and Paul didn't talk to me for a while.

"So what, I would have done that for anyone."

"Would you hold the hair away from anyone's face too?" I pursed my lips together. It was amazing how Paul could throw up and prevent me from holding his curls behind his ears at the same time. He actually shooed me away so bluntly that Bill gave me an apologizing look when I returned to my seat, feeling like someone had just kicked me in the gut. Not someone,  more like Paul, to be exact. The singer had apologised too, blaming his reaction on how annoyed he was with being sick during the your. He was polite enough to make that up and I was polite enough to pretend I believed him.

My mood change must have been obvious, because the look in Lydia's face changed entirely. She ran her hand down my arm soothingly and brushed a hair away from my face. I cracked a smile. "Yeah, I'll miss you."

"I know."

Once the plane landed, Lydia came to give me a kiss on the cheek and a few last words. "Just don't take this too personally. He likes you, okay. Just trust me."

I nodded and sent her away with a wave.

✵✵✵

A few days later, I was sitting on a couch backstage, waiting to leave after the concert. I was going through this month's Vogue, desperate to find something to keep me entertained for a while so I didn't just stare at the wall like an idiot.

How long does it take you to get dressed, ladies, I thought. However, my annoyance was quickly replaced with confusion when I heard heels clicking on the floor.I looked up from the magazine and almost dropped it when I saw the woman that was leaning against the wall.

Her blonde hair was falling down her shoulders on soft golden curls that contrasted with the thin black dress she was wearing, held around her slim body with a leather belt. She was probably a little bit shorter than me, even though I couldn't tell because of the elegant stilettos. She wasn't a groupie. Groupies never had that expensive looking style. Then who was she waiting for?

"Can I help you?" I asked and her blue eyes shot to me, studying me carefully. I tried to hide my disturbance at the way she was taking me in, and I couldn't calm down even after she planted a smile on her face, revealing two rows of perfect white teeth.

"Not really. I'm just waiting for someone."

Aha. Maybe you can help me then. "I'm Lillian by the way, " I added, without really knowing why. She didn't really seem like she cared, even though she nodded her head with another smile.

"Debra. Debra Jensen."

Before I could remember where had I heard that name before, Peter walked out of one of the rooms, his face lighting up when he saw the other woman. Debra smiled too, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his. Peter kissed back, bringing her closer by her waist.

"Ready to get outta here?" He asked and the woman bit her lip, nodding her head.

"Just let me go to the bathroom and we hit the road."

"Sure, " Peter gave her another quick, yet passionate kiss and let go of Debra, turning to look at her as she walked past him, the sound of heels echoing in the hall. The drummer turned to look at me once she was out if sight, tilting his head once I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Penthouse?"

"Playboy, " he corrected, and I nodded my head, forsing a smile to my face. I picked up the magazine again and flipped through the pages, pretending I was reading something.

"You must have a pretty cool wife, " I commented and the drummer crossed his hands at his chest, an unamused frown on his face.

"You know she is fine with that, " he demanded, almost accusingly, and I raised my shoulders, remembering what Ace had told me in the first day I met Lydia. Don't mess in their relationship.

"Yeah, you're right, " I sighed, looking up at him again. "Are the rest ready?"

"Nope. But if that's what it took to make Gene take a shower for once, I'd wait forever."

I snorted and Peter sighed, taking a seat next to me and looking down the corridor to where Debra had gone. "You going straight to the hotel?" He asked.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go, " I mumbled, "I gotta make a few calls and buy a few presents, but that can wait."

He nodded. "Did you hear from your cousin soon?"

I gritted my teeth. Peter was trying to be nice, but that question was like a stab to the heart. "Not a word."

He pursed his lips together, probably asking himself why had he even asked in the first place. Then he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed me closer, giving me a hug before he finally let go, once he heard the clicking of heels.

He stood up and said goodbye before going away with Debra, leaving me alone again. I waited like that for a while, not even wanting to pick up the stupid magazine again.

At some point, Bill appeared and called my name out to get my attention. "The guys are done. Let's go, " he commanded like a boy scout leader, sometimes that brought a smile to my face before I stood up and followed him.

✵✵✵

I swear I do more research for this than I have done for anything ever :)