[ EPILOGUE ]
J E O N G G U K

are you ready?

▂▂▂▂▂

1999. ten years later.

"When will you guys pick me up?"

Jeongguk holds the clamshell phone close to his ear, a smile spreading across his lips as he shoves the duvet off his lap. He lets his feet hit the cool floor and approaches the windows to his flat. He proceeds to push aside the drapes, letting the morning light spill into his home.

There's something about living in New York that soothes him. He guesses it's how the city never seems to sleep— especially since it's an unbearable time to be awake at the moment but people are already making the early morning commute to work.

He can hear their cars faintly every night and morning, and whenever he glimpses out his window his breath hitches in his throat seeing the towers that kiss the sky. It's especially beautiful at evening when the lights illuminate the city like stars in the vast sky above them.

After college, he had moved to New York to pursue his career as a therapist for trauma patients. He works the normal 9 to 5 job (with some late shifts) at the main hospital. His weekly job consists of meeting patients and going through counseling sessions that usually progress quite slowly, though Jeongguk understands how they feel.

Traumatic events aren't an unknown to him. They take time to acknowledge, face, and adjust to— Jeongguk knows that for a fact. It's also been ten years and in that stretch of time, Jeongguk has managed to heal the wounds that have left scars on him. So, he thought, why not help others recover as well?

"Dan will pick you up from the airport since I'm with Nayoo preparing for the party. He might be stuck in some traffic though," Grace's voice is slightly muffled in the speaker.

"California traffic is different than New York traffic though," Jeongguk says, chuckling softly. He runs a hand through his disheveled hair and leans agains the massive glass window, feeling the warmth of the sun heating his bare shoulder.

"You sound happy today," Grace points out, to which brings a smile to sprawl across Jeongguk's face. She doesn't have to see it to know, "It's him again, isn't it?" She teases.

"What makes you think that?" Jeongguk asks, raising his eyebrows at her tone. Grace laughs into the receiver, and god, it feels like old times. It's been so long since they've talked besides the occasional postcard and text messages.

"Because I can tell how you sound when you're in love," She says, singing the last part. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, and in the background he can hear a laugh that surely isn't Grace's. The smile he wears widens, his heart leaping in his chest knowing his best friend is happy.

Grace has been dating Nayoo Hae for almost three years now. They met, or well, bumped into eachother in the streets. He remembers Grace telling him about some scrunchie that she dropped and how Nayoo followed her and returned it to her instead of going to her dance competition.

It's a chaotic story, but knowing Grace, she has always been the chaotic friend in their group. Despite how ten years has passed and they haven't seen eachother physically, she's still the same girl.

"Hear anything from Justin and Laura by the way?" Jeongguk asks and begins to make his way into the kitchen for his usual cup of coffee. Grace hums into the phone while he prepares the brew.

"Justin said they can't make it. Laura went into labor since last night, and the last time we called, she was still pushing a kid out of her vagina," Grace says, her words as blunt as ever. "I will never ever give birth," She adds, talking to Nayoo rather than Jeongguk.

"That's a bummer. I'll give him a call later today," Jeongguk chuckles to himself, pulling his mug out of the coffee machine and letting the heat tickle his chin. "Damn, I can't believe Justin's already having his second kid."

"I know right! Feels like yesterday I was punching the kid," Grace lets out a laugh. "Now he actually has a kid. Or, well, two. Little Nate is such a cutie, Gguk. Justin sent some pictures over the mail."

"Really? It's already been that long?" Jeongguk says, bringing the edge of his mug to his lips. He swears it was just 1989 yesteday, not 1999. It's crazy how time goes by without knowing. They're adults now yet he still can't fathom the fact that he's twenty-six.

"Sadly. Oh and I gotta go— call me again before you board. See you in a couple hours lover boy," Grace says into the receiver. Jeongguk and her exchange 'goodbyes' and 'see you soons' before ending the call.

He sets his phone on the kitchen island and leans against the counter, sipping his coffee quietly. He can hear the shower stop across his bedroom, and when the door swings open, Jeongguk's heart swells in his chest. He pretends to not see the person that exits the bathroom, focusing his attention on the newspaper in front of him.

"You look beautiful as ever," Jeongguk doesn't have to know who it is when the person's strong arms wrap around his bare waist and pulls him close.

"Morning," Jeongguk giggles, feeling warm, gentle kisses against his neck. He turns around, his naked chest pressing against the older's cool, slightly damp chest. He tilts his chin up, meeting his lover's gaze.

"Are you ready to see your friends?" He asks, leaning his forehead against Jeongguk's. Jeongguk nods, resting his hands on his broad shoulders, his thumb delicately running over the crease of his collarbone.

"It's been a long time since I've seen them but don't you think 'ready' is an understatement?" Jeongguk says, chuckling a little to himself. His boyfriend rolls his eyes before planting a kiss to his forehead. He can feel the outline of his smile against his skin.

"Everything's an understatement unless it's you, my love," His boyfriend laughs, booping his nose. He leans down, placing a sweet kiss to Jeongguk's lips. It's short and chaste, and once they pull away, he connects their lips again, pressing against his firmly.

"Sorry I can't come with you," He says, mumbling against his lips. Jeongguk pulls away, lazily draping his arms around his neck.

"I told you it's okay, love. Now go get dressed," Jeongguk lightly punches his chest to push him off. "You got work soon," He reminds him. His lover rolls his eyes and smacks his ass, missing the way Jeongguk's ears turn bright red and the smile that crinkles his eyes.

It's crazy how many things have changed in a such a long span of time.

▂▂▂▂▂

Conservations of all kinds overlap one another in the crowded home. Occasionally the clink of silverware or glasses filled half-way with champagne or wine will blend with the topics of marriage and nostalgia, and sometimes a child can be heard squealing or a group of men will erupt in belly-shaking laughter.

Jeongguk's standing by the fireplace, keeping his head low and his flute of champagne close to his lips. He's not much of a party-person up to this day and conversation doesn't flow fluently from his mouth. But he's made an exception for the two woman of hour for the purpose of seeing his friend's happiness.

Grace is getting married soon.

He's not a horrible person so of course he doesn't miss it. That's why he has taken a late flight from New York to California to attend the engagement party, and also to stay there for a little while to catch up with an old friend he hasn't seen since college.

"Ah, there you are!" He lifts his gaze away from his glass to see Grace waving her hand above her head. He can already spot the glittering silver band on her finger, which prompts the edges of his lips to curl into a smile.

She pushes through the crowd, her eyes not once leaving his as she exhanges eye-crinkling smiles with guests. She's radiating happiness like he remembers, and she seems to be glowing more than usual with the addition of a recent engagement.

If she doesn't already have the entire universe in her eyes, she does now.

"God I missed you, you idiot!"

When she finally reaches him, she throws her arms around his shoulders. Jeongguk nearly spills his drink, but he's thankfully quick enough to balance himself and grab a hold Grace's waist with his palm.

"Nice to see you again Grace," Jeongguk chuckles softly, the edges of his lips pulling into a grin. "I've missed you," He says.

The years have done Grace good. There are a couple big differences like her hair. Her hair is no longer long and outrageously curly but cut short to her jaw and straightened. Her baby fat hasn't completely melted away, giving her features a gentle edge. And from the weight of probably smiling for years, there are permanent creases around her lips and her eyes.

The only thing that has stayed the same, however, is her sunshine smile.

"God. Who told you to look so good? Fuck, I thought you'd look all gray and wrinkled," Grace pulls away, her small fists now pounding on his chest. Jeongguk chuckles, his grip on her shoulders shaking her gently.

"I'm twenty-six, idiot, not eighty," Jeongguk drops his arms to his sides, a grin settling on his lips.

"Whatever," Grace giggles, ruffling his hair. "But know in my eyes, you'll always look like a little teenager to me." She runs her hand down his arm, nostalgia glittering faintly in her light eyes.

It's then that makes Jeongguk realize how long it has been. Ten years since he's moved to New York to fulfill his dream of becoming a trauma therapist. Six years since he's seen Grace. It's crazy how much time has passed, and now, it's as though everything is slowly catching up to them.

"Is everything going alright with him?" She asks, voice soft and tone gentle. Jeongguk knows what she means by the way she squeezes his arm, assuring him she's there if he needs her.

"Yeah, everything's great. We're doing pretty good actually," Jeongguk answers after some thinking. It's not a hard answer, to be honest, but there's not much to say. A grin twitches on Grace's lips.

"M'glad you're happy with him. You deserve all the happiness in the world, you know," Grace says, and it's not long until her seriousness fades into her usual teasing.

"Have you said you love him yet?" She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, earning an eye roll from the younger.

"Yeah, and if you're asking about the sex part too, yes we had sex. Now get your head out of the gutter, loser," He nudges her side playfully, already feeling heat envelop his cheeks and dusting them with pink.

"Who said it first?" Grace laughs, hearty and loud. "And both of us know you bottom, so that's a clear answer," She adds in a whisper followed by a wink.

Jeongguk bites down on his lip, tearing his gaze away from her and taking a small sip of champagne. Grace snorts, smacking his elbow.

"Come on, Gguk. Tell me, was it you?"

"No comment," He says, unable to hide the blush that spreads over his entire face and his ears. He smiles against the rim of his glass, knowing he's acting like some giddy, infatuated teenager.

"Oh my god," Grace's eyes crinkle with laughter. "It was you! You told him you loved him first, didn't you? My, Jeongguk, I'm so proud!" She squeals, earning the attention of a few other guests.

"Keep it down," Jeongguk mumbles, elbowing her side to shut her up. "Everyone's looking," He glances over her shoulder at the few confused guests that are staring at their direction.

"And I don't just 'bottom' anymore or whatever," Jeongguk whispers, rolling his eyes when Grace's eyebrows shoot up on her features. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish, not a single word leaving past her lips.

"Who are you, and what have you done to my shy Jeonggukie?" Grace feigns fear, pretending to cower from the younger. Jeongguk elbows her again, though he's unable to keep himself from grinning like an idiot.

Before Jeongguk can say something else, for a split second his gaze flits over Grace's shoulder. He notices Nayoo walking their way, or well, pushing someone else while walking, in their direction.

The stranger's back is facing them so Jeongguk can't really see his face, but it's obvious he doesn't seem to be comfortable. However, Nayoo is obviously a force of nature just like her fiancée by the way she's shoving him like nothing past the crowd.

"Who's that?" Jeongguk grimaces a little when the man finally stops Nayoo and grabs her by the wrist. They seem to be arguing, a lot.

"Nayoo's good friend in Korea that she didn't warn me was gonna come tonight." For some reason her answer is rather vague, which is totally unlike Grace. Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at the blonde.

"You'll like him alright," Grace swallows, assuring him. "But I'm just gonna warn you now that—,"

"—Jeongguk?"

Upon hearing the familiar voice, Jeongguk swears the air has been knocked out of his lungs. He can't believe it, no he won't believe it. Yet as he stands there, heart stopping, throat tight, and eyes splaying wide at the person in front of him, it all seems too real to be some cruel dream.

Kim Taehyung still looks beautiful ten years later.

He has changed, a lot in Jeongguk's eyes. If possible, his features are more mature, lacking the childish touch back in their teenage years. His hair is dyed and cut short too— it's not the natural, sandy blonde mullet it was but now black. His jaw is sharper, his shoulders are broader, and everything about him radiates the same sophisticated manner of a city boy that it did the first the time he had met him.

"H-Hi," Jeongguk stammers. His fingers tremble around his glass, forcing him to grip the flute tighter unless he wants it to fall and break.

"Hey," Taehyung's voice has aged like fine wine. That being said, it's deeper, more refined, and smooth.

A chill runs down the curve of Jeongguk's spine as his tongue turns to putty in his mouth. Nayoo raises an eyebrow at them, her gaze flitting between the two adults who can't seem to look one another in the eye.

"Am I mistaken or did you two already meet and I'm just being an idiot?" Nayoo asks. Like Grace, she seems to cut right to the point. For once, Jeongguk really wishes she doesn't.

Taehyung eyes him carefully, waiting to see if Jeongguk has an answer. God, his stare is still as intense as he remembers. Jeongguk presses his lips together, fumbling for the right thing to say in his mind. All threes of their stares don't help.

"We have... some h-history," Jeongguk lets out an awkward chuckle. He glances at Taehyung, his stomach plummeting seeing the older smile gently.

"By history, we met a long time ago," Taehyung thankfully clarifies for Nayoo, who is still quite confused by what's going on.

"Y-yeah. A long time ago," Jeongguk repeats. His eyes meet Taehyung's again, and he swears he can't breathe around him. He's too ethereal to be reality.

"You guys should catch up then! God, this must he some long overdue reunion between you two," Nayoo squeals, pushing Taehyung forward a little. Jeongguk notices how the older grimaces, his hand flying to grab Nayoo's wrist.

"N-no it's okay," Jeongguk cups the side of his neck, chuckling lightly. "This is your engagement party. You two should catch up." He says, his voice feeling small.

"Don't be silly, Jeongguk. I'm all caught up with Taehyung," Nayoo laughs, leaving Taehyung's side to join her fiancée's. "In fact, I'm quite tired of him," She sticks his tongue at him, making the older beside Jeongguk roll his eyes.

Jeongguk watches as Grace slips an arm around Nayoo's waist. She's not doing a good job trying to conceal her worried gaze from the both of the boys in front of her. It's obvious she didn't mean for this to happen, knowing very well that Jeongguk isn't mentally prepared to talk to him just yet.

"It's okay," He mouths to her, shifting a little with Taehyung's presence by his side. Grace nods, still looking apologetic.

All of him is overwhelming— his perfume that smells of lavender and chamomile, his stance that seems to tower over Jeongguk despite how they're almost the same height now, and his dark, hooded irises. Beside him, Jeongguk's suffocated by nostalgia and all the time that has created the rift between them.

"C'mon love. I wanna introduce you to some people on my dance team," Nayoo says, trying to tug Grace away but she won't budge. "Love?" Nayoo tilts her head to the side, her eyebrows knitting together.

"Will you two be okay?" Grace frowns, her tone softening. Taehyung opens his mouth to say something, but Jeongguk quickly cuts him off.

"It's alright," Jeongguk assures her, glancing back and forth between the couple and Taehyung. "You don't have to babysit us like before," He adds to lighten the mood, and thankfully his best friend cracks a smile at that.

"A-alright. I'll be over there if you need me," Grace reaches over and squeezes Jeongguk's hand before leaving with Nayoo to the other side of the room.

With that, it leaves him with Kim Taehyung. The boy that used to be his world, his universe, the red to his blue, his bestfriend, and ultimately his first love. But now, all he is to him is a memory of his past; a mere stranger.

It's amazing how things have come to this. How Jeongguk has come from loving him unconditionally to treating him as a memory he only looks back at from time to time.

"So," Taehyung swallows, now facing him. Jeongguk exhales slowly, unsure of what to do now that it's the two of them together. Alone. After ten years.

"How's life?"

They say it at the same time. Their voices overlap one another in a jumbled rush of awkwardness and shyness. And realizing what they have done, the duo burst into laughter that somehow eases the tension time has inflicted upon them.

"We're ridiculous," Taehyung says, the laughter wearing off his words and being replaced by a lopsided grin. Jeongguk chuckles.

"Still ridiculously stupid after ten years."

"Of course. Damn, it's really been ten years, huh?" Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest, slightly tilting his head to the side as his stare focuses solely on Jeongguk despite the crowd surrounding them both.

What Jeongguk doesn't know is that in Taehyung's eyes, he'll always be the center of his universe no matter if they're strangers or lovers.

"I know right? Still shocks me that it isn't 1989 whenever I wake up," Jeongguk presses the edge of his glass to his lips, throwing his head back and finishing his glass. He's all in it for the liquid courage unless he wants to be an awkward mess in front of Taehyung.

To be honest, he really doesn't. Who knows when they'll have the chance to see one another again, and Jeongguk's sure he doesn't want to fuck it up now. As much as he hasn't thought about Taehyung in the last few years, he can't ignore this tugging at the back of his mind to talk to him.

Whether this is a dream or reality, he'll have to make the most of it.

"Right. It's been awhile," Taehyung's voice seems to soften, but Jeongguk's sure that's just his mind playing tricks on him.

"Wanna head outside?" Jeongguk suggests out of nowhere. Taehyung lifts an eyebrow at him, not quite expecting that.

For what reason he suggests that? He doesn't know if it's a mix between the alcohol he has consumed or the stuffiness of the room. It might be an excuse to just be alone with Taehyung— who knows.

"Why not," Taehyung eventually shrugs, and soon, the two of them are walking out to the front porch of Grace's home.

The two of them grab new glasses of champagne before sitting outside on the swingset. Taehyung and Jeongguk squish together on the bench, though there's still a bit of space left between them. It's a safe distance really— perfect for two old friends.

It's hot in California during summer, that's for sure. The sun is about to set despite it being so late and colors the sky faint purples, oranges, yellows, and subtle pinks. The heat isn't unbearable, though Jeongguk can feel sweat build on the nape of his neck and his face slightly burn.

Neither one of them say anything for awhile. They swing on the set, rocking back and forth gently. The tips of Jeongguk's toes barely drag across the porch floor, and he can hear Taehyung's soft taps against his glass blend with the occasional creak of the swing beneath their weight.

"What do you do now?" Taehyung asks, deciding to break the ice first and also giving Jeongguk less stress to come up with something to ease the lingering awkwardness left between them.

"I'm a trauma therapist in New York," Jeongguk swirls the pale gold liquid in his cup. He glances over at the older, "What about you?"

"I'm a doctor, but I'm still finishing my residency," Taehyung taking a sip of his own drink. Jeongguk nods, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead to the other houses in the neighborhood.

"Do you still live in Korea?" Jeongguk asks. Taehyung shakes his head, a small smile sprawling across his lips.

"Nope," He pops the 'p' effortlessly. "I actually live in New York now after my grandmother died." At this, Jeongguk's eyes widen, his head now turning towards Taehyung.

"R-really? How come I've never seen you, and I'm sorry about your grandmother by the way."

"Probably because I work on the other side of the hospital," Taehyung says. "And it's alright. She passed away in peace thankfully."

Jeongguk's lips curve into an o-shape. He guesses that reason explains why they haven't crossed paths before. Part of himself also can't help but feel bad about his grandmother's death; from his memories, he can remember how upset Taehyung had been.

"The hospital's so big I didn't even know you worked at the same one as me," Jeongguk lets out a laugh, one that's bittersweet. Taehyung doesn't answer, instead taking another sip of champagne.

Somehow he isn't as upset as he thought he would be upon hearing that. Taehyung had been so close yet so far once again, but much to his own shock, his mind isn't plagued with the what-ifs or the could-have-beens.

But what does he expect? He hasn't seen Taehyung for ten years, has built a whole life without him, and he even has a new lover that he has the blessing of waking up to every morning. He can't help but wonder if Taehyung's thinking the same thing, or if Taehyung has any regrets because he sure doesn't.

If they didn't separate like they did all those years ago, Jeongguk wouldn't have what he has now. Sure, things could have been different to some degree, but Jeongguk can't picture his life any other way. He can't picture not working at that hospital or having a bad relationship with his parents or not loving his current boyfriend of almost two years.

Life has its ways of changing people and pulling them apart for a reason. And as much as Jeongguk misses Taehyung, the love he has for him isn't the same anymore. It's different. He doesn't love him like a lover, but he still wishes the best for him, still wishes for him to be happy.

Maybe in another life they could have been together. Or perhaps maybe someday or some other time their spark would reignite by chance.

But for now, as much as it hurts him, they're simply not meant to be.

"Are you happy?" It's like Taehyung has read his mind. Jeongguk licks his lips, not expecting him to ask that so sudden. A chuckle slips past his mouth.

"Yeah, I am," Jeongguk breathes, leaning back against the seat. "Are you happy?" He asks, feeling the older's eyes staring at him.

"Now I am," Taehyung whispers softly, so softly Jeongguk almost misses it.

"I could be the happiest man in the world."

It's those words that emerge from the deepest part of his memory that push Jeongguk over the edge even if it's to be a joke. He can't. He can't keep the truth away from Taehyung anymore.

"T-Taehyung, I n-need you to know something," Jeongguk sits up, forcing himself to face Taehyung.

The older raises an eyebrow at him, concern flooding his features leaving a pang in Jeongguk's heart. It's not a dull, temporary pain, but a sharp, lingering stab that remains there. He swallows, averting his gaze to his lap as he fidgets with the glass in his hands.

"I-I've found somebody else," Jeongguk confesses, voice small. Taehyung exhales shakily beside him. If Jeongguk wasn't hurting earlier, now he is.

"O-Oh. You did?"

"Yeah, I have. He's an art teacher at the university I went to. He's older, and I've been dating him for almost two years so I guess you can say... it's getting quite serious," Jeongguk chuckles, though the laugh that leaves his throat lacks any humor at all.

"You must be in love with him, then."

"Yeah. I am. I really am."Jeongguk instantly regrets looking up.

The moment he meets Taehyung's eyes all he can feel is the heaviness guilt beginning to settle in his chest like concrete has been poured inside of him. Taehyung's just smiling at him. He's smiling like nothing's wrong, and god, if it had been years before Jeongguk would have been breaking in front of him.

Obviously, that's clearly not the case anymore.

"That's good. Good for you and him," Taehyung says, tone unfazed, cheerful for someone who has received such news. Jeongguk nods meekly, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Do you have anyone s-special?" Jeongguk asks, hating every passing second Taehyung doesn't say a single word. The older hums, now his turn to avoid looking Jeongguk in the eye.

"I have a dog named Yeontan, but I doubt he counts as a lover," Taehyung cracks a smile. Jeongguk's own lips curve upwards, too. He's still a dork of course.

"What do you mean?" Jeongguk lets out a choked-up laugh, his throat swelling shut. "Dogs can be loved," He tries to stay humorous, but his voice breaks.

"Who said I didn't love him?" Taehyung murmurs. Jeongguk presses his hand over his mouth, giggling behind his fingers.

The two sit there, their laughter intermingling before fading along with the sun as its vibrant colors sink into the black of night. It's dark, their conversation lasting longer than he has expected it to. Jeongguk kicks at the ground aimlessly, the swing swaying beneath them as the silence envelops the past lovers yet again.

Past lovers. It sits awkwardly on Jeongguk's tongue to think that's what Taehyung is to him now. He steals a glimpse at the older, and he can't help but wonder what's next for them. What do past lovers do? Will Taehyung leave after this? Does he want Taehyung to leave?

"Can I be honest with you Jeongguk?" Taehyung's deep voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Jeongguk swallows before nodding slowly, curious to what the older has to say.

Taehyung inhales softly, "I never stopped thinking about you, you know. And for the last ten years I wondered if you were happy and doing well, and I guess you can say I couldn't forget you no matter how hard I tried." He laughs at that.

"So when Grace called me to come, I thought I could see you again and maybe, just maybe I can have you in my life again as a friend or something else if the time allowed it and I just— I-I didn't care as long as I had you in my life in some way," Taehyung says.

"I didn't want to say goodbye, Jeongguk."

"Then why did you?" Jeongguk whispers. Taehyung looks away, gaze fixing onto his feet.

"Because if I didn't," Taehyung lifts his gaze up to meet Jeongguk's. The smile he wears is crooked, radiating that boyish charm he still has. The charm that once enchanted Jeongguk years ago.

"You wouldn't be as happy as you are now."

He sets his hand on the space between them, the smallest of movements catching Jeongguk's eye. It takes all of Jeongguk's will power to not tangle their fingers together to relive the flurry of emotions Taehyung had once made him feel. His words are crushing him yet he isn't devastated. He's right— brutally right, but Jeongguk can't help but think.

Is this really how it's meant to be?

"Do you still remember how we first met?" Jeongguk whispers all of a sudden, unaware of how his hand unconsciously inches closer to Taehyung's. Their fingertips brush lightly against one another's, light enough Jeongguk barely feels it.

"Outside on a porch after church. You followed me outside," Taehyung answers faster than Jeongguk expects. "We sat on the swing and you called me a fag." Jeongguk elbows his side, frowning a little.

Taehyung laughs sweetly, the corners of his mouth curling upwards. The older flashes him that boxy smile of his, the one that used to have his heart tumbling and his entire stomach fluttering with thousands of butterflies.

This feels too good to be true, and when Jeongguk blinks, he swears he can see the past. He can see the old Taehyung with his youthful features and blonde mullet, smiling at him like he was his entire world. Like Jeongguk was the last beautiful thing in their corrupted world. Like they were meant to be.

But when he opens his eyes to their reality, all of that is gone. Whatever he's searching for in Taehyung's gaze is gone. It's gone with time and replaced by the bittersweetness of nostalgia.

"Then we talked on the swingset at your old house, and I got up and left. I left you," Taehyung murmurs, his fingers resting on top of Jeongguk's. The two of them glance down at their hands, unsure what's going on.

Jeongguk swallows, his hand frozen beneath Taehyung's. His heart clenches, the heat of his hand warming his naturally cold ones like before. His gaze interlocks with Taehyung, and in that moment, time seems to stop for everything to catch up. All the unsaid words. The days they've spent apart.

"Is it okay if I don't leave you this time?" Taehyung breathes, taking the chance and intertwining their fingers together. Jeongguk's lungs seem to squeeze as their hands fit perfectly together. God, of all he things can forget, he forgot about that.

When Taehyung's holding his hand, his heart does not flip in his chest, nor does his cheeks feel hot and turn bright red. Instead, his lips pull into a wistful smile as his stomach seems to be filled with this airy lightness he can't describe except that it feels right.

Everything with Taehyung feels right; he'll never regret it. Even though Jeongguk's been happy for years, nothing in this world can ever fully complete him the way Kim Taehyung does.

"It's been ten years too long," Jeongguk murmurs, voice soft and tiny at first. Taehyung's eyebrows furrow slightly, confused. He clears his throat, feeling his ears warm up and not because of the heat.

"So yes," Jeongguk squeezes his hand, confidence in his tone. His heart seems to burst in his chest seeing Taehyung's shocked expression transitioning into a bright smile mirroring his own.

"Of course I want you back in my life."

He says it even louder, feeling as if he doesn't, it wouldn't mean anything. A couple seconds go by before Taehyung squeezes his hand back, tightly, not wanting to let go of the younger. He smiles that rectangular smile of his, his eyes crinkling and everything.

"It's nice to see you again Jeon Jeongguk," Taehyung raises his champagne flute, prompting the other to do the same.

"It's nice to see you too," Jeongguk says, clinking his glass with his and taking a sip, his eyes never leaving Taehyung's. And for the rest of the night, they catch up on the years they have missed from each other's life like old best friends do.

From embarassing dating stories, college memories, to every single one of their hopes and dreams— it feels like neither one of them left. Those ten years seem to feel like nothing in the hours they spend together with laughter, tears, and the love they share for one another that seems to transcend time.

And even though their love story has ended years ago, both of them never pictured that their ending was the start something better.

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nine years later

"Do they end up together papa?" The little doe-eyed girl tilts her small head up to meet her father's older, matching set. He hums, stroking his hand through her blonde hair lovingly.

"Yeah, papa! Are together?" The other child in the room, another big-eyed boy that reminds him of a cute tiger, lifts his head away from his dad's shoulder. He's too young to put together a sentence, but nonetheless, he's adorable.

"That's up to you pumpkins," Jeongguk chuckles, gently pushing her back into her bed covers. He turns to his son, picking him up and setting the younger child in his lap.

"But papa," The older daughter whines, tugging at his sleeve. "You gotta tell us if they end up together! I can't sleep with them just being friends," She pouts, her cheeks puffing out like her father's.

"Goodness, Jinny," Jeongguk's eyes crinkle. He smooths her Super Mario covers down, the memory from his past emitting a chuckle from his lips. "I'm gonna tell your other father to stop letting you watch those Korean dramas," He tsks.

"Papa~ no! You hafta tell us the end. Felix, pout or something. You're cute," Jinny crosses her arms over her chest. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, ruffling his two years-old son's hair.

He looks up at him with those sparkly, curious eyes of his. "Papa tell!" He pats Jeongguk's arms, begging him like his sister has asked.

"Jinny. Felix. That's enough, please go to bed," Jeongguk sighs when the two children begin to raise their voices, clearly not happy with the open ending he's given them.

Jeongguk's too busy shushing his children to hear the door creek open. His husband slips into the room silently, his presence silencing his children instantly. Jeongguk's eyebrows furrow, slightly confused when his children silence themselves and smile up at him like perfect angels.

They only act like angels around their father, Jeongguk thinks. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to figure out their sudden change in behavior until he feels a pair of lips press a kiss onto his forehead.

"Why aren't my little bunny and tiger asleep?" His husband's deep vowels are enough to lull them to sleep. Seconds ago Jinny and Felix were nearly screaming into his ear, begging, but now they're suddenly sleepy.

"Daddy," Jinny yawns, "can you tell papa to finish the story to us?" She asks, giving him her best puppy dog eyes. Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak, but his husband wraps his arm around his shoulders, silencing him.

"What did he leave off on?" He asks his daughter, raising an eyebrow at her. Jinny pouts.

"He didn't tell us if the boys fell in love after being reunited," She yawns again since it's way past her bedtime. Jeongguk shakes his head, unable to fight the smile that appears on his lips as he runs his hand down her hair.

"Really? That's the best part! Papa's a meanie head."

At that, Jeongguk rolls his eyes. He pulls his little son close to his chest, noticing he's struggling to stay awake for the sake of the story ending.

"Can you pwease tell us daddy?" Jinny's eyes are barely open. Jeongguk watches his husband crouches down and kisses his daughter's forehead, smiling against her fair skin.

"Hm well they were friends for years, little bunny. The other boy waited for the love of his life until he was ready, and when he was ready, he stayed to his promise and married him," His husband leans back, running his fingers through her blonde hair.

"So did they live happily ever after?" Jinny asks, her words becoming softer with each second that passes. His husband nods, pulling her covers to her chin.

"Of course, baby. They moved to California where their best friend was to start a family and had children with the help of some wonderful women," He says, voice a mere whisper. "They had two little blessings— a girl and a little boy."

"That sounds nice. I'm really happy for them," Jinny sighs, cuddling her Mario plushie close to her chest. "Goodnight Papa. Goodnight Daddy," She whispers before falling asleep safe and sound a couple moments after.

Jeongguk pats his daughter's hip gently before getting up with Felix in his arms. He tries to be quiet as he gets up from her bed, and thankfully his husband's there to wrap his arm around his waist to help him with the extra weight.

"Jin's gonna be just like you," He smiles, carefully nudging his husband's side to avoid waking up his son. His lover rolls his eyes, flashing him a boxy smile.

"She's gonna be stubborn, that little one. Like me and the guy she was named after. Seokjin would have been proud of how she turns out," He laughs deeply, following Jeongguk as they walk to put Felix in his crib for the evening.

"Well she already is. Proud yet?" Jeongguk places Felix in his crib, watching the little one begin to suck his thumb. His husband and him give the small child one last kiss before retiring to their bedroom for the night.

"Do you think we got our happy ending?" His husband asks out of nowhere as he joins Jeongguk on the bed. He's quick to pull him into his arms and immediately peppers his face with kisses.

"I wouldn't consider it happy," Jeongguk giggles, swatting him away as the older presses ticklish kisses across his neck. "I ended up with an idiot."

"You love me being an idiot," He laughs, his voice muffling against Jeongguk's skin. "I'm an idiot only for you," He says, lowering his voice even more. Jeongguk groans, pushing him away.

"You're an idiot, Kim," Jeongguk can't help but giggle as the love of his life tangles their fingers together. "But I still love you."

"Good," He smiles, bringing his knuckles to his lips and kissing the finger with their wedding band on it. "Thought so since you've dealt with me for seven years."

Seven years. Crazy how that many years of marriage has gone by so fast, and even though the love of his life drives him mad sometimes, Jeongguk doesn't mind. As long as they're together, it's all worth it in the end.

"I love you Taehyung Kim," Jeongguk says, leaning his head on his lover's shoulder. He looks up at him, his other hand gently tracing the outline of his rectangular smile.

"I love you more Jeongguk Jeon even though it took twelve long ass years until I could marry you," Taehyung pulls him close, sealing their lips together into a sweet kiss that has Jeongguk's heart doing all kinds of flips and turns.

In the end, Jeongguk isn't alone despite everything they have gone through. From entering hell and coming back to even more days of  hell, dealing with the insane amount of homophobia and the lack of support of the loved-ones around them, they have finally found each other at the end of the storm.

Like they say, if someone is truly meant to be in your life, they will eventually come back to you whether it be in a couple months or a couple years.

Because if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

THE END

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and that was the end to worst behavior!

i just want to say thank you. thank you
for the lovely comments (ive never gotten
so many and they encourage me to write!) and the support on this story despite those awful times where this story has gone through. this book was very different for me. i got to play with different characters, and i got to learn about something new and devastating that still sadly happens today. i'll forever be connected to the taekook in this book, and this entire plot because this storyline means so much to me. and to those who have messaged me saying i've helped them come to terms with their sexuality and how they relate to taekook, i hope you are doing well and know someone out there supports you and loves you for who you are.

so thank you for following this
book until the very end! thank you
to my mutuals who helped me write
this book. thanks to my friends who
listened to me rant siskfjsks thanks
to every readers— silent or not i love
you all 💛💛💛 thank you for reading
this book and i hope you stay around!

until next time! i love you guys💛
— mela