[ 12. begin ]
J E O N G G U K

you make me begiiiiiiiiiiin

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"Excuse me?" Grace's smile falters. Taehyung rolls his eyes, clearly unamused with the situation as he shoves his hands into his jean pockets.

"I said I'm also his friend," Taehyung forces a smile onto his face, his natural charm working its magic when Grace simply flashes him a bright grin.

"Oh, well, nice to meet you," She gives him a thumbs up before turning to Jeongguk and beginning to talk about her life down at Arkansas, or whatever place that has sand.

Jeongguk doesn't hear much, his attention more focused on Taehyung who looks annoyed beyond his years. The older's gaze is trained to his feet, though Jeongguk can spot a muscle twitching on the curve of his tightened jaw.

The hazy orange glow from the sunset engulfs Taehyung's slouched figure, making his bronze skin glimmer gold and his soft blonde hair look more fluffy. He notices how his eyes are an endless pool of melted honey twinkling dimly in the light, and God, his thick lips are more defined and a deeper rosey color.

In that moment, Jeongguk wants Taehyung to hold him by the waist and pull him close and pepper his face with kisses. He stands there, imagining a world where he can sit on the front porch with Taehyung's arms around him, his warm embrace enough. He pictures himself tracing his beautiful, movie star features and kissing him beneath the sunset's warm glow.

"Let's go inside," Grace's voice suddenly interrupts his thoughts, her small hand patting his shoulder to gain his attention.

He realizes how long he must have been staring, and for a second his breath hitches in his throat when Taehyung gives him a crooked smirk. Jeongguk swallows nervously, his cheeks warming slightly.

"I best get going then," Taehyung clears his throat, stepping forward and casually taking Grace's spot. The girl gives him a dirty look, but Taehyung doesn't seem to care, his gaze fixed on Jeongguk.

"Why can't you stay?" Jeongguk asks, his voice softening. He can feel Grace's stare on them both, and it's enough to make him feel uncomfortable in Taehyung's presence.

"Do you want me to?" Taehyung's brows furrow slightly. Jeongguk shrugs, fighting the urge to reach up and smooth out the creases from his perfect skin.

"Yes," Jeongguk says without hesitation. Taehyung snorts lightly, the smile on his features genuine as he reaches over and ruffles Jeongguk's hair.

"Sorry, do- I mean, Koo, I'd love to but I don't wanna get in trouble with my mom," Taehyung chuckles softly, his hand lingering on the side of Jeongguk's head for a moment before letting go. Jeongguk dislikes how his chest suddenly feels heavy when Taehyung removes his touch.

"It's alright," Jeongguk tries to hide the disappointment in his voice by smiling. Taehyung's dark gaze studies him closely, but the older does nothing.

Instead, he smiles and squeezes his shoulder before saying goodbye and walking back over to his house next door.

A odd silence settles between Jeongguk and Grace when he finally acknowledges her presence. He has to admit, he's a little embarrassed he acted that way in front of her, and the way she's studying him like he's some puzzle makes him shift a little on his feet.

"That was hella gay," Grace says out of nowhere, her voice lowered to a whisper.

Jeongguk chokes, his eyes widening, "W-what?" What did she just say?

"Don't worry I'm not gonna banish you to hell," Grace smiles and lifts her wrist. She points to a little inked drawing beneath the curve of her palm, and right on it is a small rainbow flag.

Speechless, Jeongguk's lips curve into a relieved smile. An odd feeling unravels in his stomach, filling him with this light, bubbly feeling even though he has no idea what that rainbow flag means. He's familiar with it, yes, but whenever anyone mentions it, his parents always get silent.

He's only asked about it once during a family outing after seeing a man hanging one of those flags outside his store, and his dad didn't say much. Although, he did get angry and made them leave the shopping area to go home in a silent car ride.

Later, his mom came into his room and told Jeongguk to forget about the flag - it's just a problem the city is trying to control, or well, a symbol of crazy people.

"I got this at a pride parade in California," She giggles, holding her wrist out for Jeongguk to touch. He eyes her warily, slightly reluctant. Grace nods, her smile widening as she urges him to touch it.

Jeongguk lets out a sound of awe, his lips curving into an 'o' shape when he feels the smooth ink on her soft skin. Tattoos are usually forbidden in town, and anyone who has them are likely to be disliked by the community. He's never seen them except for in movies, and now seeing them in person is just as amazing as seeing them on a screen.

"What's a pride parade?" Jeongguk whispers when Grace's mom walks past them to enter the house.

Grace chuckles, "The best place on Earth. Me and my girlfriend went a few months ago and got these matching tattoos."

"Girlfriend?" Jeongguk asks, his brows furrowing at the odd mention. Only boys are supposed to have girlfriends, right?

"Yeah?" Grace's smile falls a little as she lowers her arm back to her side. "Isn't that guy your boyfriend?"

"N-no?" Jeongguk stammers, his cheeks suddenly feeling hot for God knows why.

"Oh, well, I thought you two would be. I've only heard stories of LGBT couples having to hide at parades, and by the way you two are so careful around each other I just assumed," She frowns.

"O-oh, I don't know," He admits shyly. "We never discussed it." Usually by now he'd be recoiling in disgust and telling Grace what she's doing is unethical. However, as she throws around those same terms Taehyung uses, it actually feels normal.

"I understand," Grace lets out a laugh, her small fist curling into a ball. She then playfully hits Jeongguk's shoulder, smiling brightly. "Tennessee isn't the place for us."

"There's places that accept u-us?" Curiosity glows brightly in Jeongguk's doe-eyes. He never has thought there would be a place that openly accepts what he and Taehyung have. After everything that he has been taught, Jeongguk has thought nobody would approve of two men or two women.

"Yeah, and there's more of us too in the city," Grace nods excitedly. "Goodness, Jeongguk! We need to get you out of here and to a pride parade!"

"I-I'd like that," Jeongguk grins shyly, nodding along. Grace squeals and slings an arm over his shoulder.

"Great! Let's go inside and I'll tell you more!" Grace eagerly drags him into the house, her smile brighter than the sun.

Jeongguk willingly lets her pull him into his home, and for once, he hasn't felt so comfortable around someone other than Taehyung in his life.

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Grace and Jeongguk end up in his bedroom, though they make sure to keep the door open due to his mother's request (even if Grace had blatantly stated Jeongguk is too scrawny for her likes - she, quote on quote, said she liked her lovers thick and Jeongguk nearly protested against her).

"Hey Grace," Jeongguk's about to ask her something but is instantly cut off when Grace flops onto his bed. He raises an eyebrow at her as she takes one of his pillows and begins to hug it close to her small body.

"Oh, don't mind me," Grace giggles uneasily, slightly embarrassed, "your sheets smell like her." Jeongguk nods along, not fully understanding what she means but going on with it anyways.

"Why did you come back?" Jeongguk then asks, curious to why she'd leave a place that accepted her for who she is. He guesses California is more open than their conservative town, and he can't help but imagine how it must feel to live in a place where they're not suffocated by religion and beliefs.

"My parents divorced," Grace replies, leaning back into his bed and sinking into his pillows. "My mom didn't approve of the entire lesbian thing and fought with my dad about it to where they eventually split up."

"Your dad supported you?" Jeongguk can't really picture his father as someone who'd support things like. He is the pastor, after all.

"Mhm. He went to parades with me when he didn't have work," She smiles wistfully, her eyes glimmering with something Jeongguk can't seem to describe. "He liked to be involved at the protests even if he was a straight man."

"It must be really different there," Jeongguk whispers more to himself than Grace. A small smile twitches on his lips.

"It was. Sucks my mom wanted to go back to her religious ties. I had to leave everything," Grace's tone bitters, the smile she had ln her face dipping into a frown.

"Taehyung did too," He finds himself saying aloud, his heart fluttering at the way Taehyung's name slips off his tongue. Somehow, Grace's sadness about leaving reminds him of how Taehyung got whenever he mentioned anything about New York.

All his life, Jeongguk has never been outside of Tennessee. He doesn't have too many friends who he would actually miss if he is to leave. However, that doesn't seem to be the case for Taehyung and Grace.

They had people to care about back home. They had friends who accepted them, people who understood them, and lived a life there where they wouldn't feel suffocated wherever they went.

Now here they are, living in a conservative town with views that don't support them. They have absolutely nobody to rely on, nobody to talk to, and nobody to relate to.

Like Jeongguk has been all of his life, they're all alone.

"Do you ever feel like you're sinning with your girlfriend?" Jeongguk says softly, his gaze fixating on Grace who's currently staring at his ceiling.

"Yes and no. You can't really help who you are or who you want to love. The Bible said nothing about love between any gender is wrong - it's just people have interpreted it wrong," Grace responds quietly.

"Are you afraid sometimes?" Jeongguk asks.

"All the time," She answers, a saddened smile spreading across her lips. Grace sits up on his bed, hugging the pillow close and resting her chin on the soft material. She sighs, her eyes falling shut for a moment as she takes fistfuls of the pillow case into her thin fingers.

"People still aren't willing to accept us no matter how hard we protest or try to convince them, and we just have to accept that," Grace chuckles gently, burying her cheek in the pillow.

"It will be a long time before people like us can live without judgement."

"Then is it really okay to be this way?" Jeongguk frowns a little, his brows knitting together in a bunch. Grace lets out a laugh, which only confuses poor Jeongguk even more.

"Yes, you airhead, it is okay," The skin around Grace's nose scrunches together from laughter, the smile on her features gentle. "Live how you want to be. Love who you want. A bible or a society of closed-minded people don't have the right to tell you how to live your life."

Her words hang in the air surrounding them both. Jeongguk swallows nervously, running one of his hands through his dark locks. He can hear Taehyung's voice telling him being gay is not a sin along with Grace's, yet his mind sways with all his past teachings telling him what's right and what's wrong.

Jeongguk has no idea what he is, or what label he wants to label himself with. Sure, he has no interest in girls, but he hasn't really looked at boys in the same way he does with Taehyung up until now. Honestly, labels scare him, and all of this other gender attractions are brand new to him.

It's a whole different feeling of being lost, but instead of feeling trapped and afraid, the feeling in his chest is like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

When he first met Taehyung, he didn't know where to start or how to feel, and most of the time he's acting out of buried emotions that he has ignored most of his life. His views are still a little bit muddled, and he'll always have this little voice in the back of his mind telling him he's sinning, but at least this is a start.

It's a good start even if it's small.

"Grace," Jeongguk interrupts the silence, the edges of his lips curling into a crooked smile. Grace lifts a questioning eyebrow at him, raising her head to meet his eye.

"Can you take me to a pride parade someday?" Jeongguk asks, his stomach filling with butterflies when Grace's lips spread into a bright smile.

"Of course," Grace grins, her eyes twinkling with happiness. Jeongguk can't help the excitement bubbling in his stomach, and for once the idea of rebelling against his parents to see a glimpse of a world where people like him can be free doesn't sound so bad.

"I'd love to take you sometime."

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grace is my favorite ngl - we only stan
unproblematic female characters in this household 😌✊

love ya'll alot and take care of yourselves !