WORSHIPPING HANDS, FINAN
prologue.    destiny is arranged, not hoped for

          IT HAD BEEN yet another night in which Elvina couldn't sleep.  Her thoughts ran a million miles per hour and there was only one thing that was able to keep them at bay–Finan.  The pale blonde had quickly stood from her sheets and wrapped herself in a blanket she only used for her late night excursions.  From then on,  she made her way to Finan's home in Winchester and knocked on the door thrice,  awaiting for his figure to be seen once he hastily opened the door.  The night went on as it usually did.  Elvina would talk to the warrior about her problems and he'd listen to every word she said,  offering up his own advice or solution if the young woman ever sought it. A warm cup of watered down tea would be shared between the two of them as they conversed. And eventually, it ended up how it always did, Finan and Elvina entangled in the man's bedsheets as they experienced the throws of pleasure together.

VISITING THE IRISH warrior was one of Elvina's favorite things to do. He had brought such a comfort to her life that she had never experienced before and she was grateful for the things he's opened her eyes to. He really was her saving grace and she hoped to never lose that.

"WHAT'CA THINKIN' 'BOUT, Princess," Finan spoke up from the silence that comfortably and softly settled itself between the two after they both had tired from loving on each other, catching the woman on his chests attention. His fingers delicately brushed themselves through her soft, nearly, white hair, twirling a strand around his forefinger and then unwrapping it only to rewrap it again.

ELVINA'S BRIGHT EYES looked up from the place they were glued to on his bare chest, gazing into his soft brown ones. A soft smile graced her features as she stared up at the man beneath her, chin placed on her hands that were currently settled over his beating heart. "Nothing, just...thinking is all," she responded, one of her thumbs gliding softly across her lovers chest. Elvina liked to lay on it and press her ear against his hammering heart, the sound often lulling her into a soundless sleep. It was something that she tried to commit to memory in the off chance she needed it.

"THINKIN' OF WHAT?" Finan asked, eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to decipher what Elvina was thinking about. Try as hard as he might but he'll never be able to read the woman's mind.

THE WOMAN SHOOK her head as she dismissed the thought, ridding her mind of it. She knew that thinking this way was something that gave her a sense of false hope. She cared for Finan deeply, and loved him too but she'd never admit it. Elvina didn't want her thoughts to give him any false hope as well. She knew where hope lead a person. To their grave.

THE IRISHMAN GRUMBLED something under his breath and began shifting underneath the blonde woman, flipping the two of them over so Elvina was the one underneath him. "C'mon woman, I know the way you think. You're thinkin' of something and it's bothering you. Isn't that what I'm here for? To help you?" Finan asks, hand reaching up to tuck a lock of his lovers hair behind her ear, stroking her soft cheek once he completed the action.

ELVINA LET OUT a chuckle of disbelief as she was caged underneath the huge warrior, huffing out a breath of air before bringing both of her hands up to rest them atop his lightly freckled shoulders. "It's a silly thought. Nothing you should worry yourself with," she replied, small smile upturning the corners of her lips in the slightest. Her left hand went up into his long hair, gently massaging the scalp underneath.

"OI! I KNOW what you're tryin' to do lady and it's not going to work," Finan exclaimed as he put his own hand on top of Elvina's to stop her motions, playfully growling at her. The Irishman is a total sucker for his hair getting played with. It nearly puts him to sleep every time. "You either tell me what's botherin' your pretty little brain or I'll tickle it out of 'ya," he warns, hands already at his lady's soft and plush sides as he leans his entire body weight onto Elvina to ensure that she won't try to escape.

          THE PRINCESS LET out a shriek at Finan's movements,  already laughing at the barely there touch of his rough hands.  Elvina shook her head as she surrendered,  trying to arch her back in a way that it would alleviate some of the pressure of his weight.  She lightly slapped his scarred shoulder in a sign of defeat,  still trying to wiggle herself out of his grip as he brushed his hand up against the side of her stomach once again.

          "OKAY!  OKAY!  I surrender.  I give up!  You win," she gasped out as Finan gently gripped the side of her midsection and brought her body closer to his,  smirk on his face as he gazed down at the woman he deeply loved.

          "NOW,  TELL ME what's bothering you,  love," Finan whispered out,  adjusting himself so he only hovered over Elvina and that he was leaning most of his weight on his left elbow. 

          THE WOMAN HUFFED at her lovers insistent prodding,  slightly rolling her eyes at the man before she opened her mouth to speak.  "I was thinking about...the possibility of Uhtred granting us his approval regarding us getting married," Elvina slowly replied,  dragging out gaps of silence throughout her sentence.  She had closed her eyes once she finished her thought,  not wanting to see the Irishman's reaction to what she just said.  She had no clue on where Finan stood on fact of getting married to her.  Albeit the two of them sneaking around for nearly a year and a half now and Finan continuously calling her his woman behind closed doors,  she wasn't too sure if he wanted to marry her.  Especially since she was once the daughter of a King.  Titles like hers either made or break a relationship and she only hoped that it didn't ruin everything the pair had built together.

          A LONG PERIOD of silence had been Elvina's response to her thought,  causing her rapidly beating heart to start to crack in two the longer Finan was silent.  She was about to slip out from his grasp when he finally spoke up and pulled Elvina back into his embrace.  "Marry me?  You want to marry me?" He asked,  voice shaky and full of nerves as he asked Elvina what she meant.

          SHE NODDED IN response,  eyes full of worry as they danced around Finan's face trying to understand what he was thinking and feeling in the moment.  Anxiety settled itself in her stomach as it turned in response to the emotion,  dread filling her chest as she began to think of the worst.

          FINAN LET OUT a small chuckle that sounded more like a sob and brought Elvina into his bare chest,  it moving along his gentle and quiet sobs.  "Of course we can ask Uhtred!  I'd love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you," he finally said amongst the tears he was freely shedding in front of his lover.

          ELVINA TOO BEGAN to cry at Finan's response,  laying her head atop of his as he hugged her close to his body.  The two sat there until the sun rose and the cocks began to crow and sing at first light.  They spent the rest of their night talking about the kind of life they would like to have with each other and continuously reassuring the other that it didn't matter the titles they had to their name nor the lands that they had,  they still loved each other regardless.  And that night was the first and last night they had told one another that they loved them.

          "COUSIN?" A SOFT voice asked as they entered the older Princess' chambers,  smile on their face as they saw the person they were looking for sitting in front of her mirror,  maticously braiding her hair. 

          THE PALE BLONDE turned around to see her younger cousin, Æthelflæd,  stand in her doorway,  hands folded in front of her as she beamed a wide smile at Elvina.  "Mother and Father wish to see you," Æthelflæd stated,  nodding at the woman in front of her.

"WHAT FOR?" THE light blonde asked as she turned her body to face her younger cousin, hair neatly braided.

"I DO NOT know. Mother only asked me to fetch you," Æthelflæd shrugged.

ELVINA ONLY HUFFED in response to Æthelflæd's lack of knowledge regarding what her King Uncle and Queen Aunt had wanted to see her for. It could been anything really. The pair often called for Elvina when they wished to discuss events relating to her older brother, Æthelwold, or to tell her what they wanted for her to do that week while she was in her Aunt Ælswith's company.

"I AM SURE it is nothing, cousin. Alfred probably wants to discuss Æthelwold's latest actions with you," the young brunette added, fingertips gently brushing over the desk placed by the wooden door of the other Princess' chambers. Æthelwold had been traveling as of recent, rumors of him walking into Daneland and beyond spread amongst those in Alfred's court. It was something that the King had repeatedly told his Nephew to not do as it could spark yet another conflict with those residing there and Alfred didn't feel like battling anymore Danes for that matter.

"I WOULD HOPE so," Elvina replied, brushing off the skirt of her dress as she stood up and began to approach the young teen standing in her doorway. She really didn't want to deal with or discuss anything regarding her brother. It was often a sore subject for Elvina to talk about. She'd rather keep the memories he burned into the back of her skull as far away as she could possibly get them. She hated her brother for what he'd done to her but still harbored some care for him for they were blood and that was often the thing that defined people these days.

THE JOURNEY FROM her room to her Uncle's scribe room wasn't long but the unknown of this particular meeting made her thoughts swirl with the possibilities of what her King and Queen wanted to discuss with her which made the walk seem longer than it should've. The anticipation of what was to come ate away at her nerves. The sound of her feet making contact with the stone floor was the only source of noise that echoed throughout the bricked walls in the early hours of the day. A few serving girls had walked passed Elvina, giving her a gentle curtesy and greeting before they hurried off to begin their chores for the day.

"AH, ELVINA," A soft voice had begun as the pale blonde entered the room she was instructed to go to, "I am glad that you decided to join us. I was afraid that Æthelflæd wouldn't have caught you in time for what we desire to discuss". Her Aunt Ælswith always had a way with words that seemed to disguise her true tone or intent behind them. But Elvina could often tell what Ælswith truly meant, having to refrain herself from rolling her eyes so far into the back of her head that they'd get stuck in that position for the rest of her life.

ELVINA GAVE HER Aunt a soft smile before bowing her head slightly towards her King and Queen. If she didn't feel like vomiting up her supper from last night out of nerves before coming into the scribe room, then she most definitely felt like it now.

"YOU MAY TAKE a seat, Niece," Alfred spoke up, gesturing his hand towards the empty seat on the left of the King, his Wife already occupying the right. His tone was always gentle and soft with his brothers youngest child. Alfred saw a lot of his late brother and sister-in-law within Elvina and often couldn't bring himself to speak to her with anything else but kindness.

THE LONG HAIRED blonde did what was asked of her and took a seat in the chair her Uncle requested her to sit in. Her nerves increased tenfold as she sat in front of her Aunt and Uncle, fiddling with the various of rings that rested on her fingers in response to it.

"WHAT IS IT that you wanted to discuss with me, Uncle?" Elvina asked, voice full of anxiety and unease as she tried her best to hide her nerves from the pair sitting in front of her.

ÆLSWITH'S EYES DARTED to her Husband to see if he wanted to speak first or if he preferred her to.  The King slightly shook his head at his Wife and straightened his posture to sit taller in the chair he occupied.  He left out a deep breath as he did so.

          "AS YOU KNOW,  it's been a well number of years since you became of age to marry," Alfred started out,  eyes darting from the scrolls in front of him to his only Niece,  "I,  as well as your...brother,  have been discussing on what to do regarding your hand in marriage.  We have finally settled on a suitable match for you".

          ELVINA'S HEART DROPPED from its place in her chest and fell out onto the floor,  shattering against the stone in the process.

          "HIS NAME IS Arthur and he is the Nephew of a close friend of mine.  He shall treat you well and honorably.  This matching will bring more than enough silver and allies for Wessex," Alfred finished,  dark orbs gauging his Niece's reaction to the news.  He knew that she wasn't very fond of the topic of her hand in marriage and always dismissed it whenever he brought it up in front of her.  But she had just turned twenty the previous three moons and still hadn't found a match for her hand yet.  The King had decided that it was time for her to leave the comfort of Winchester and start her own family with the man they had arranged for her after Æthelwold pointed out the many advantages Wessex would receive from marrying off his sister to the Nephew of one of Alfred's most trusted Ealdormen within the kingdom of Devlin.

          ALL HOPE OF the life she longed to have with Finan had shattered to pieces right in front of her.  There was no way she was going to get out of this arrangement without causing suspicion to both herself and Finan.  Elvina wished that she had voiced her wishes to the Irishman earlier so she then wouldn't be in the predicament she was currently in.

"I KNOW YOU do not wish to marry but you must perform your duty as a Princess of Wessex," Ælswith spoke, the corners of her lips lifting up in a soft smile, "And perhaps your future Husband is gentle and kind. I've heard many men born from Devlin are kind men". Albeit her Aunts attempts at being caring, Elvina only felt the cold shiver of the news her brain scrambled to process and simply dismissed the reassuring words Ælswith tried to throw at her.

ELVINA SIMPLY COULDN'T speak as she continued to stare blankly at her King Uncle. Hot tears stung at her waterline, lids hurriedly blinking to rid of the warm substance threatening to spill over. Elvina quickly stood up from the chair she was occupying and curtsied at her Queen and King, sniffling as she swiftly turned away and strode away from the room her Uncle often occupied, leaving the two of them to their own company. As she fled from her Uncle's scribe room and towards the place where she often seeked out for comfort, Elvina could only wish that the news of her imminent engagement was slow moving and didn't reach Finan before she could talk to him.

BUT THE MOMENT King Alfred had agreed to to betrothal, word of the Princess' arrangement had spread like wildfire, reaching Finan the moment he approached Uhtred regarding his hopeful demeanor on convincing his Lord to marry him to the Princess Elvina. All hope was lost that night as the two lovers screamed and cried at each other, both desperate to keep one another. But destiny seemed to be stronger than love and it had a clear path that it wanted the pair to take.

author's note!
— i did not include finan's reaction to
the news bc i'm saving that for later hehe 🤭🤭
the absolute rollercoaster of emotions &
other shit that i have planned for these two
should be illegal 🧍🏻
also, let's pretend that æthelwold had always
been venturing out into daneland for the sake
of the plot. it just made more sense to include that fact in the prologue, at least in my mind 🤧
anyway, enjoy!!!! 🫶🏼🤍💋