𝒓𝒚𝒂𝒏'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘

WHAT A GREAT WAY to start the new year.

Grandpa Jack was transferred to the local hospital early this morning. I spent the rest of my New Years in my family's living room, on the couch, waiting for any new updates on my poor Grandfather who suddenly fell out in the kitchen floor as Grandma Lydia was cooking dinner. It's something none of my family has ever expected.

He has been a strong man even before I was born. Maybe even before I was thought of. Even with his old age, he's always doing something around the farm or doing things people his age definitely shouldn't be doing. If he were here right now he would most likely hit me upside the head with his ball-cap or shake his head at me for saying that. This is the first time I've ever worried about my Grandpa.

Stress has cascaded throughout my brain for these past 6 hours. Mom nor Dad won't tell any of my siblings and I anything. I don't think they want to make any of us anxious, especially Evelin. Of course she doesn't understand anything just yet. But, I can tell she senses something's wrong.

Louis left around 1:30 AM. Knowing him, he would've stayed longer if it wasn't for me basically forcing him to go. I've worried about that as well. If I hurt him. I should've been nicer with my words. At the time, I was overblown with emotions. I was scared even. So, I'm hoping Louis isn't too upset with me. Not that it excuses my behavior or anything of the sort.

There's nothing more than I want to do right now than talk to him though. The boy always has been amazing at keeping my mind off things, but he's asleep gladly. All Louis wanted to do this morning was help out. And I ended up cursing at him, telling him to leave.

Louis Partridge is too pure for this world.

To be specific, he's too good for me.

But, I don't need anymore pressure or worrying upon my shoulders and chest. My Father is down at the hospital with my Grandparents and has been only updating Mom with updates. She won't inform me on anything, which is probably a good thing because I haven't gotten any sleep since I was dropped off. I've stayed up with Margot and Sawyer watching random movies.

They're mostly weird romcoms that Sawyer picks out on Netflix. Odd, I know. Being constantly kicked while sharing the L-shaped couch with him isn't the best thing in the world. It also isn't the most comforting, but going upstairs to my own bed doesn't sound any better. His legs being longer than mine gives him the advantage to hurt my body even more whenever he does it.

"There's a whole other couch downstairs, ya know?" I groaned, rubbing my sleepy eyes. My older brother shrugged his shoulders and his eyes stayed glued onto the television in front of us. He stretched his legs even more, jabbing them into my sides. "Not my fault that the Lord gave me these long legs, my dear sister."

Sawyer's head turned towards me, the left to be exact.

"You should sleep. He's gonna be fine, Ryan." He reassured, a yawn leaving his mouth towards the end. Wow, he's caring for once? Sighing quietly, I still didn't give in on the idea of sleeping. I'll most likely will later, once I find out some good news.

His yawn caused me to yawn as well, "I would, but these movies are just so entertaining." Sawyer rolled his eyes and threw a white throw pillow at me. I snickered as my arms wrapped around the pillow and cuddled up with it.

Our Mother was supposedly going to take down the Christmas decorations today. She usually does it this time of year anyways. Dad starts complaining once the 1st of the year hits. But, of course, due to the family situation she decided not to right now. At least there's some joy lingering into home that's filled with sorrow and worry. The tree has no gifts underneath it though. We have to wait a whole new year just for that.

I've tried asking to help Mother with anything around the house or outside. She won't give in and it's honestly adding onto my overflowing brain. I've never gone through something like this and neither has my siblings. My immediate family has always been happy and healthy, so for something like this to happen so randomly has taken a tole on all of us.

"Why don't you talk to Louis if you don't wanna do any of my amazing ideas?" Sawyer questioned as he popped his neck. I cringed at the noise and shook my head. "It's 7 in the morning, most people in the country are sleeping ya know?"

His mouth formed into an o. And with the obvious information I enlightened him on, Sawyer decided to go back to focusing on the tv in front of us. Quietly laughing, I placed my focus on the television as well.

Good thinking, my brother, but I've already thought of doing that about a million times it feels like. I don't want to awaken Louis from his needed rest after the New Years Eve party. However, at the same time I would kill just to hear him telling me everything is going to be okay. It may not be the honest truth, but with his voice and ravishingly good convincing, it might work.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," Margot explained out of the blue. "I know how you got that nose bleed last week, Ry." My hazel eyes widened to the thought of my sister witnessing that.

I croaked, "I fell?"

The blonde giggled and shook her head no. Her focus stayed on the television that hung above the fireplace. She sat on our Father's recliner in front of us all laid out and comfortable with about 3 blankets. "Yeah sure, you fell."

This obviously isn't abnormal for my sister to be creeping on Louis and I. The first time was when we met actually. Also the 2nd time. She's always been the most curious and lurking out of all of us. But, it's aggravating that everyone I know it feels like brings up me getting a nose bleed during a make-out session every 5 seconds.

"But, are you and Louis dating now? He seemed very happy at something." Margot asked me as she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth, her eyes glued to the tv. I know, what a great breakfast. I hesitated to tell her at first for reasons I can't make up, but I eventually nodded my head even though she couldn't see it.

Sawyer boasted, "What? Since when?" I mentally smacked Margot for even bringing this up. "Since the day after Christmas."

His eyes widened before he started scolding me. "Why didn't you tell us? I mean, I'm not upset, because Louis is a cool dude. But, why?"

In all honesty, the only reasoning I have is because I knew my siblings would freak out. Don't get me wrong, I love each of their abnormal selves. Although they can be pretty overreactive when it comes to things like this. They're only being slightly protective, but I don't think they need to worry. It's literally Louis. What's the worst thing that could happen?

"1, Evie would cry. 2, I knew y'all would freak out."

Sawyer rolled his eyes at me even though he knew it was the truth. Evelin being the dramatic 3 year old she is, she would definitely be upset over this oddly enough. Margot's first boyfriend used to come over constantly and Evie took a 'liking' to him, just as she does with Louis. Whenever she found out they were officially dating she bawled for 2 whole days. So, I'd rather not inform her on Louis and I. I would be doing my parents a favor anyways.

I have no clue to why every older boy my youngest sister lays eyes on she forms a 'crush' on. Of course, she's only 3 and doesn't know any better. She simply uses her charm and adorable self to reel them all in. I've asked so many questions about it, but our Mom always says she's exactly like me when I was her age. Which isn't the best thing I'm guessing.

For the next 20 minutes, my siblings and I continued to watch a random romantic comedy that I truthfully have no idea what it's called. It's mostly like every other one I've seen so I decided not to question about it.

My body felt warm as it was snuggled up in the 'millions' of blankets that I shared with Sawyer. However, my feet felt cold due to his touching mine. The least he could do was slip some socks on from the full laundry basket that was literally in front of us on the floor. That's another thing I've tried asking to do, but once again, Mom wouldn't let me.

I'm hoping there's going to be breakfast sitting on the table soon though. I haven't eaten a single thing since I was dropped off and Margot is getting aggravated at my stomach growling. The smell of bacon lingered from the kitchen into the living room, so I guess my wishes are being granted. Grease popping on the stove also indicated that she was cooking too.

That is, until I heard the noise stop suddenly. But, the bacon still blasted throughout my nostrils. It caused my stomach to growl even more. Soft footsteps tapped against the hardwood flooring. It got louder and louder as the person got closer into the living room.

The person was obviously our Mom. Oddly enough, she looked the same she always does. Merry and bright, even in this situation that we're in. It's something her and Grandma Lydia have in common. There's not a time I remember my Grandma being truly upset at anything. She calls it being disappointed though, which is honestly worse and more heart-wrenching. It's a good way to get us kids to own up to what we did however, and I admire her for it.

Mother wore a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a simple, plain, red t-shirt. Which according to her, it's her 'Mom-Attire.' I wouldn't bother wearing anything fancier on the daily either.

"Would you guys like to go see your Grandpa?"

𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺!
i feel absolutely terrible for updating so
late. i usually update every 2 days, but it's been
literally a week so i'm SO sorry. i've lost even
more motivation for this book, but i'm hoping since
this terrible chapter is over i'll gain some back. i have so many ideas for this book and i want to put them all to good use! this chapter is rlly short too so i'm sorry. the next ones
are going to be much longer and you'll be getting
some louis/evie/river action as well :)

i published a new book! it's called 'teen spirits'
and i've been putting so much work into it. the
storyline is going to be a lot better than this book,
so please do me a favor and go read it if you'd like!
it's also a louis book so that's a plus!! it's a coming of age story kinda and louis is kinda a dick at first
so i hope you guys enjoy that LMFAO. i worked
rlly hard on the graphics and shit so go check it
out pleaseee

i know i've said multiple times that this book will
have a sequel, but now that i've truly thought
about it, i really don't see it happening. i don't see
me having motivation for it, nor will i have any big
ideas for it. but, don't worry, i will finish this book!
no matter what! i might not update as often as i do
so please don't be upset with me. i promise you that
i'm trying my best for this book to be as best as it can be!

thank you SO damn much for 120k! it's absolutely
insane how much love you guys give me and this book! i'll forever be grateful for you all! i love you
all more than you'll ever know <3

go read teen spirits! and i'm sorry
for the super late/short update :( love u 🤍🤍