Sunder: Split apart

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(A/N: My dumbass forgot a trigger warning. Curses, heavy/crude language, whatever you want to call it, will be a part of this story. But the reason this note isn't at the end of this chapter is that I have something else to say: the f-slur is in this chapter. If you want to avoid it, stop reading at "Sometimes, Peter wishes he wasn't so perceptive." Start again at "First step in taking down an opponent...". I'll put a summary of the missing part at the end of this chapter, slur-less.)

Peter and Edmund wave furiously to Susan and Lucy as the girls' train heads to their boarding school.

It's funny, Peter thinks, how quickly things change. He wouldn't see either of them for another three months, and he might not see Caspian or Sanya -- Sanya or Caspian -- for much longer, depending on when they all go back to Kirke's.

Edmund and he board their own train, which will whisk them away to a new boarding school. They'd be expected, as always, to act as normal boys. Boys who didn't know of another world where there were fauns and nymphs and animals talked. Peter isn't sure how exactly they keep managing it. He's not going to tell anyone about Narnia, he's not that stupid, but sometimes he wishes this "British" society (this white, heteronormative, ableist, terrible society) wasn't so close-minded to anything but the "norm". If people were more willing to believe, less skeptical of anything they believe shouldn't be possible... but no. Peter doesn't have time for what-if's and if-only's. This year is the last year until he can take the test to see if he can go into medicine and the things he actually needs to know for it, instead of spending all his time memorizing birth and death dates and faces of monarchs long dead. He doesn't need it to do what he wants, so he doesn't need to know it. (He knows Caspian's face easily, does that mean he needs him? Shut up, brain.)

He focuses in on Edmund. Now that they're alone in the carriage of the train, he can check up on his younger brother. He's been meaning to since they all left Narnia. "Are you going to be okay without Sanya? You just got her back."

Edmund makes a face. "I have to be okay, don't I?"

"Ed."

Edmund should know he can speak candidly with Peter. After a long pause, he does. "Alright. I think so? I did just get her back, and I hate so bloody much that I have to leave her already." He rubs at his neck in frustration. "I keep telling myself that at least we're in the same world now, but that can't stop part of my mind, all of it really, from being paranoid."

Peter can't really understand the kind of love his brother has for Sanya, and Sanya has for Edmund. He wants to, someday, but he doesn't. So all he can do is comfort Edmund, and reassure him that Sanya is safe. It's true, after all. She's with Caspian and Professor Kirke — Professor Kirke and Caspian. Edmund stops looking nauseous after a bit, and turns their conversation to the last bit of Narnia they can mention before the school, before Peter has to put on yet another mask and pretend that he doesn't know about Narnia, because Narnia couldn't possibly be real. He hates this part. He hated it last year, and he hates it again this year. He'll hate it every year, forever, from now until he dies.

They talk of Beruna, the Beavers, Mr. Tumnus, of everything from the moment they arrived that first time to their — well, to Peter's, Edmund still has at least one more — last visit. It's as if this is the last time for them to relive it, and in a way, it is. Peter relishes this chance to talk, it will help him in the future if he exhausts all his Narnian thoughts now. He won't have to worry about losing time over the land, and the drawer in his mind that is Narnia can remain safely locked after this.

When they arrive at their school, they stop talking. For now, Narnia cannot exist through spoken word. Peter knows this, and he knows Edmund knows too. But he knows even more so that neither of them can forget Narnia, especially not over this term. He locks the drawer. (He can't lock Caspian's drawer, no matter how hard he tries. Silence, brain. He's not going to think about Caspian again.)

~~~

    Peter's grouped in with five other boys, including Edmund for some reason. They shrug at each other, and Peter jumps for one of the upper bunks. Now he thinks about it, it's a rather small school compared to other, and there is the War going on after all, so maybe it's not so surprising that there aren't enough students to have every set of dorms hold only one year. Some of the others in his year have rooms with only their peers, but the luck of the draw means that some of Peter's grade and some of Edmund's will sleep in the same room. They won't have class together, of course, but they will be expected to respect each other, or else — as told to them by a strict superintendent.

    The only name Peter catches is Nathaniel, the boy who tells everyone he talks with to "Call him Nate." There are two other boys, who seem like friends in the way that two thugs are friends — enabling each other's violence and rudeness.

    Sometimes, Peter wishes he wasn't so perceptive. This is one of those times, when the shorter of the two — just shorter than Peter — jeers rudely at Edmund and him. When he doesn't get a reaction from multiple jabs, he resorts to a tactic used by only the most stupid and most desperate. "Why are you two so bloody close to each other? Could it be, you're faggots?"

    Peter is quite familiar with grouches like this. He knows what has to happen, too. So he turns and punches the boy square in the face. Not hard enough to break anything, but hard enough to knock him down. "We're brothers, you absolute bastard." When the boy gets up to try to fight Peter back, he raises his fist threateningly. Edmund doesn't even bother to hide his smirk, which is turning into a full-on grin. The boy's friend helps him up and both scowl at Peter. Neither wants to fight, not when Peter has so flawlessly won that fight. Peter thinks it's the first sign of intelligence in either of them.

First step in taking down an opponent without an army is violence, showing exactly who is more powerful. Second is beating them with words, telling them without explicitly saying that they are in the wrong. Third and final is letting them know exactly how stupid they would have to be to try to keep fighting.

Peter has executed those three steps, in perfect order, in around thirty seconds. (Caspian had beaten him in a duel when they'd met, remember? Brain, if you think of Caspian one more bloody time—)

It's satisfying, putting someone like that in his place. Peter hopes he doesn't have to do any more of it, but he can't say he doesn't like pummeling people who say things like that.

As expected, he doesn't have to do anything else to get the two to stay far, far away from Edmund and him.

~~~

    The first day moves quickly. Peter's classes aren't bad, though the science teacher doesn't seem very proficient in biology. Maybe he'll ask Professor Kirke to find him a better one so his medical examinations aren't dead in the water before they begin... or he could ask his father. No, Professor Kirke would be easier.

    Peter has a feeling that somehow this term will fly by, if only because he needs this year to feel longer, in order to absorb as much information as possible before the dreaded exams. Time likes to be fickle like that. Take whenever he gets lost in his thoughts: it feels like no time at all, or a very short time, but then Susan will nudge him and no, he's been thinking and only thinking for at least thirty minutes.

    There are whispers among the classes a few weeks later that the Nazis will try bombing smaller towns instead of focusing only on the big cities. Then the first news comes in just days later, remarkably fresh (that is, through one of the boys in another dorm who has access to a radio), that the Nazis have indeed started bombing the smaller towns, the first of which is a village none of them knew of beforehand. Nate calls it an intimidation tactic, to try to get Britain to surrender. This statement is met with brash yells that England will never surrender and the "filthy Nazis" should give up before they are annihilated. If they're all shaken that the Nazis actually went through on such a horrid plan, nobody needs to know. Edmund confides to Peter late that night about his worries over Sanya. Peter tells him that she'll be okay as long as Caspian and Professor Kirke are okay, and they're far from any towns. Even if the Nazis try bombing smaller towns, the old house and its inhabitants will be perfectly fine. (They have to be.)

    The words are for Peter's own benefit as well. He can't stop the what-if's anymore, not when his sisters aren't the only people he cares about. The worries of what if they get hurt what if the old house is bombed what if Susan and Lucy's school is targeted keep him up to the unholy hours of the morning almost every day. It's going to end up affecting his grades, which admittedly doesn't help the stress that has begun eating away at him.

    At least he's not the only one troubled by the news. His peers, even his teachers, whisper about these strategies. It's widely agreed that they are despicable. But that cannot stop fear from worming its way through their veins. Women and children had been evacuated from the cities into the smaller villages, after all. Germany would be targeting innocents.

~~~

Peter will turn out to be right, on multiple counts.

A/N:

Summary of the skip-able part: Peter punches a homophobe and cements his reputation as someone nobody wants to mess with.

*Cackles in author*. I'm on break for the next week, so hopefully the next chapter should be out sooner than the normal schedule! This chapter might not seem like much, but ahahaha you'll all see.

See you next time, definitely before April 8th!