Restart: a new start or beginning

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Peter is talking to Edmund and Sanya when Caspian finds him. It's idle talk to all of them, but it's also something to take their minds off Narnia and England, everything they'll be leaving. Not by choice, though. (Not like Caspian, something vicious in him whispers.) He's not going to enjoy leaving Narnia. Maybe he'll get to come back? Surely he won't have to leave Narnia permanently... well. Aslan is trusted by the Narnians for a reason.

Anyhow. Caspian. The boy (he's a boy too, he's not a man in this time) is telling them all that Aslan approved Caspian leaving. Peter supposes that is good. Is it? Leaving Narnia. Willingly. He knew without a doubt that he would never have made the choice Caspian just has. Regardless of what could or could not have happened with a father figure like Miraz.

And they're watching him again. Waiting for another reaction. His face draws itself: loose brows, relaxed mouth, crinkles around the eyes. Caspian shifts, like he realizes Peter is crafting his expressions. Which is impossible. Edmund and Susan and Lucy hadn't ever even guessed that more than half of the reactions he showed during their Golden Age weren't genuine. There is no way Caspian can be that good at reading people. He hadn't been able to tell when Sanya masked her joy (rather poorly, if Peter can be honest) after seeing Edmund and their initial greeting.

"Aslan also wanted you, Peter, to go speak with him. I've told Susan as well." Caspian is speaking to him now, and finishes with where he spoke to Aslan last. His face is more obviously guarded than before, his left foot is behind his right just enough for Peter to notice. Peter's inner hackles go up -- why does Caspian want to attack him? There is no good reason. It would be foolish for him to strike first, Peter is the better swordsman and they both know it. Peter watched Caspian fight in the battle after his duel, and Caspian isn't incapable, but trying to fight Peter would end with Caspian with a blade to his throat on his back beneath Peter... nope. That is a dangerous and pointless thing to dream about -- think about. He doesn't have dreams about Caspian, thank you very much. He's the High King of Narnia, for the Lion's sake.

Blinking hard, as if his thoughts can be thrown off as easily as sleep, he moves on. (We'll come back to that later, part of him says. He tells the defector to shut its mouth.) "Right. Well then Ed, I'll ask him about Sanya too." Edmund nods his thanks and Peter walks away from his brother and Caspian. Peter did need to speak to Aslan, though the Lion clearly had his own reasons for summoning Peter and Susan. He doesn't expect to know those reasons, though. Aslan has never told anyone the extent of his plans or his thoughts. Lucy, bless her, would have loved to hear the Lion's musings. She has always been Aslan's favourite of the four, Peter knows, and rightly. She holds the truth like a lifeline, and she was the one who got them safely away from the Telmarine forces at the gorge. Anyone would be foolish to not see her as easily the best of them, the Kings and Queens of Old. Of Old. Calling himself and his siblings "old" is hard, especially knowing that he himself is fourteen instead of twenty-something when the Stag came. Which was apparently more than one thousand years ago. Time is a queer thing, isn't it? Between worlds, the idea that fifteen years had passed as the Golden Age and not even fifteen seconds. Peter knows he won't stay fifteen years this time, so will he see himself as he disappears to Narnia? As a time-loop, but if he thinks on Time any longer his headache will worsen. So he compartmentalizes that string of thought and seals the folder belonging to it. Damn Caspian. Peter hasn't used the mental cabinet in months, and now that Caspian is in the picture he may as well be living there. First the folder (the drawer) that Caspian has taken over, now everything else. His legs have taken him almost to Aslan, and he knocks on the door as his mind leaves its study.

Susan opens the door for him, smiling. "About time, silly!" Has it been that long? She shakes her head at him, letting him know that he hasn't lost track of time again and she was only teasing.

Aslan faces them, and Peter bows deeply. "Now you have arrived, High King, I can talk with the both of you." Peter's inner self flushes. Susan had said he hadn't lost time, surely he hadn't? "You both are nearly responsible for yourselves now, in your world's reckoning."

"Yes, Aslan."

"I regret to tell you this, for you are still and always will be children to me, but for that reason you can never return to Narnia." Never return to Narnia. Never return? Caspian must have known. Maybe he got the same bombshell. But that makes it worse, because it means that Caspian has chosen to leave Narnia and never come back for a world he doesn't know and a world that could break him. Peter has tried to bury the secret that he doesn't want Caspian in England, but his attempt to keep Caspian in Narnia hasn't worked and based on this can't work. Caspian has chosen England over Narnia, a pointless and senseless decision.

"Never?" Susan keeps her head easier than Peter, as always, and asks the question he can't bring himself to. He's afraid of the answer, and wonders if she is too.

"Never."

A strange feeling sets over Peter, sudden and foreign as if it belongs to someone else but he is feeling it. One of acceptance, almost. He's grieving Narnia, but he will not forfeit his happiness over something that probably had to happen eventually. All good things must come to an end, isn't that the saying? And Narnia has been the best thing to happen to him -- and to his siblings, he suspects. At least Narnia itself will not end, only their relationship with it. He says as much to Susan under his breath.

Aslan notices the change in the two siblings, which reminds Peter that Caspian is not the only one leaving Narnia with them. Sanya is too. "Aslan, you know that Caspian and Sanya also are leaving with us. Could they go to Professor Kirke's house? Us four were at the station when we were called, and neither of them can really go with us to school. They're not registered, I'm sure you know, and the Professor has been taking in children from the London bombings, so their appearance wouldn't be unusual as long as the Professor knew beforehand." He cuts himself off from rambling (High King Peter never rambles, why does teenage Peter have so much control over him?) and waits for Aslan's response. The Lion's eyes always bore into his soul, as if Aslan knows Peter better than Peter knows himself. At this point, Peter wouldn't be surprised. Maybe it comes with experience, with the job that Aslan (supposedly) has given himself. Or maybe it's the opposite, and Aslan gave himself the responsibility of creating Narnia because of his perceptiveness.

"Yes, I will inform Lord Digory of his new charges. You both, meanwhile, should make your peace with leaving for the last time. I will send you all back shortly."

~~~

Peter's in a haze until Aslan's ultimatum to the Telmarines. They had come from Earth? From his world? The thought of Miraz or one of his cronies living on Earth makes him sick, but then, there are many people on Earth who pull the same reaction from him. Don't show the emotion, Peter. You know better. The mask slips back on. Tuning out the words helps his disgust at the Telmarines hide, so he watches his siblings and Sanya and Caspian. Caspian is shocked again (it's one of the only emotions he can't hide, Peter has noticed), probably since he now knows that he's actually from Earth, however distantly. Peter wants to be able to read Caspian's emotions. He wants to be able to get him to express himself properly. Somehow.

And by Jove, he's lost track of time again. Susan is trying to catch his attention. For all his vows to keep himself in the present and to pay attention to his surroundings, this has been happening much too often. He whispers to Edmund and Sanya, closest to him, "That's our cue." He can't honestly tell if there was a cue or not, but they both follow him as he slips towards the trees and Susan, who has collected Lucy and Caspian and led them deeper into the woods without Peter and Edmund and Sanya.

Edmund jogs up next to him. "Caspian, huh?" Not this again.

"No. Ed, just no."

Sanya joins him. "Are you sure? Because I think the Pevensie boys share a pining face." She pulls a mournful stare, exhibiting said pining face.

"We do not have a pining face!" Both of them flush slightly. Peter continues. "And I am not pining for Caspian."

"More like fantasizing, don't you think, Sanya?" Edmund quickly regains his dignity by poking fun at Peter. It's a common occurrence.

"Why are you picking on Peter?" Lucy has dropped back to walk with them, dressed in her school uniform and handing clothing to all three of them.

As they turn away from each other to dress, Sanya persists. "Lucy, do you think your brothers have pining faces?"

Lucy laughs long and hard, wheezing. (Peter is fairly sure she's going to tease him over romantic feelings again after this.) When she recovers, she replies. "Oh yes, certainly. But Susan shares it, and Sanya you have your own version."

Edmund and Peter spin around and snap their attention to Lucy, the former still pulling on his shirt. "Susan likes someone?"

Lucy shifts, looking sheepish. "Well, in our Golden Age she did." Edmund muses, trying to guess who could have captured Susan's eye.

Luckily for that particular tangent, they've caught up with Susan and Caspian. Aslan had (somehow, Peter didn't feel inclined to think too hard on it) procured modern-England clothing to fit both Sanya and Caspian. Who... is dressed in it now. By the Lion, this boy is too attractive for his own good. Nope, not again, he can't dwell on it. Instead he ushers them all back to Aslan once the loose ends of their clothing (he wants to call them costumes) are tied together.

Peter is sure the door in the air is the most peculiar sight he will ever see. There are hands on his shoulders as he walks towards it and they are most definitely not Susan's oh his meddling little brother could only have executed this. Caspian's hands are warm and light, as if he doesn't want to be in this position any more than Peter does.

He crosses the threshold, and the last thing he is aware of is Caspian's hands tightening on his shoulders — before he spirals into whiteness and out to the station.

AN:
Hhhhh. Technology and writers block work together I swear to the gods. Soo haha was this a filler chapter? Absolutely not no I have no idea what you're talking about. (It was a little but it also was kind of vital to getting out of Narnia.) I like writing the Pevensie siblings banter it's fun to hear. Also Peter is so sweet and yet so *mm* at the same time. I hope you enjoyed the romantic tension on Peter's end that Caspian is oblivious to, if you didn't you better get used to it because it'll be the most you get for a while. Next chapter should be out late February/early March!