WORLD'S WEIGHT
a      tfatws     fanfic
written     by    asha

in your dream, you are jealous of tragedies. / and the truth is, we all want our own tragedy, / because life is pale without it. / we want the teeth, the screaming, the survival / that comes with it.

— Salma Deera, from “why you wanted a tragedy,” Letters from Medea

❛ they have been through
fire and what fire doesn't
destroy, it hardens ❜

FROM THE MOMENT SHE WAS BORN CZARINA BARNES WAS MARKED TO BE A KILLER. Her birthright was to be an agent of chaos who will thrive in blood, ashes and rotting graves of their enemies. She was destined to serve an empire that will rule above all else, wielding the supreme order on its hands. The bones of heroes and righteous men will shape the throne she will sat on. In the sea of weak willed and soft bellied soldiers, she's a warrior whose knuckles are unbent, fangs bared sharp and a skin made of iron. She will rust before she breaks.

HYDRA and Red Room, both whom are deliberately responsible for her creation, molded Nightshade in the shadows of her. A faultless and unsullied creation that holds a devotion for them like no other.

Nightshade was an absolute. Czarina Barnes was flawed. The former had a gun, the latter had a heart. And bullets are meant to shatter ribcages but hearts are fated to sway and mend and heal. So the girl let the hot, bitter liquid bloom in her chest everytime she and the killer inside her wrestle for control. Nightshade may have won each fight yet in war Czarina was unbeatable. Bit by bit, the humanity buried under all that programming began to flourish in the ever pulsating veins of the girl. Which gradually softened the sharp edges of her tethered soul.

From the husk of the girl who had no choice, emerged someone whose mind and body belongs to no one but her. Czarina soon finds herself in the opposite side of the battlefield, toe to toe with a major extraterrestrial threat, her only weapon being everything her old masters engraved in her. What she was taught to use on bringing this world on its knees became something that helped restoring the reality known to them. Yet unlike others who went home and rejoice their new found lives, that wasn't the end for her.

She was raised to believe that a sweet victory doesn't come unpaid. Price of blood was the heart of their triumph. The two cold tombstones that greeted her after losing five years of her life will forever serve as a reminder of that. Now all the girl has is her father in another time and a strange world that requires not her immense strength or unmatched skills, rather stability and a life beyond fighting in order to fit in. Something that sounds impossible as fighting tooth and nail is all she ever know, and possibly it's all she will be for.

Because when you're carved as a weapon, a tool for war where does that leave you in a time of peace and order?

❛ the ground might be
caving in and some wounds
may never mend but we will
rise up and try again ❜

CAUTION | This book contains strong language, violence,  killing and brutality. Please guided that ptsd, depression, anxiety and eating disorder are also present. Trigger warning is on the beginning of a chapter if the mentioned contents are present.

DISCLAIMER | I don't own The Falcon and the Winter Soldier storyline and its characters. The credit all goes to the creators of the show. I only own Czarina Barnes and a handful of OCs, a few alterations and modifications (such as events, dates, locations etc) on the storyline in order for the fic's plot to fit in. Please don't reproduce any content without the permission of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTE | Okay bite me but I can't resist the idea of bringing back my original OC in the current timeline of MCU. I mean like c'mon she's a BuckyNat daughter how can I forget about her if Bucky has new show and Nat's solo film is to be released. I can't bury her forever, and tons of OCs from V&V series. I don't know if some can still remember Czarina and Levi in my early days here (2017 to 2018 probably) but if you do please raise your hand, you deserve an OG discount from me. Because you have seen the rise and downfall, the rebirth and all those confusing revamps. Oh man, that feels like a long time ago.

Anyways I'm here and they are back, new MCU series is coming up with both OG and new ones. With all the content Marvel is producing my mind cannot just ignore it.

Let's hope this time I do this thing right because the OG series was a mess but the whole concept of it just looks really nice in my head, so all I can hope now is for things to go in the right place this time. Wish me luck, fellas!

opening banner by me

BOOK DATES | started: March 22, 2021 — published: March 26, 2021 — finished: December 2024

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