[ 022 ] chapter twenty two

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ENDINGS ARE
NEW BEGINNINGS TOO

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Czarina had a lot to settle after what transpired in the GRC New York that night.

Now that she made herself a public figure, dubbed by many as "Red Recluse", she can't keep living the same life she had before meddling with the Flagsmashers. Czarina can't just return to Boston and act like nothing happened. The government wouldn't let her and most of all, she doesn't want to anymore. The girl had the chance to speak with Sam and it helped a lot to realize the missing pieces on

She needed that talk with her uncle about it. Which Sam wholeheartedly indulges, he often tells Czarina that she can always come to him if everything feels too much. She never did until that moment. And it felt great to be able to talk to someone about her worries in a light-hearted manner. It brought more clarity to her that helped in taking the first steps of her decisions.

She returned to Boston.

But not to stay again and remain pretending she's just another civilian. With the help of her attorney, Jennifer Walters, a case was served to the court that requests to make adjustments on her court mandated pardon. Such as returning to New York in the custody of her father, no longer requiring her to attend a university and more agency on her personal choices.

Czarina hoped her endeavors across Europe and in New York in the past months wouldn't make the case difficult to be processed.

It did. But her lawyer is one of a kind. Attorney Walters pulled through to make the case happen.

In a matter of weeks a new order from the public court arrived. Czarina's pardon has been revised and it's evident she now has more autonomy and agency.

"Thank you so much, Jen." The girl takes the lawyer in a quick hug. The two now walk side by side outside the courtroom, on Czarina's hand is a copy of the revised version of the pardon.

Jen's eyes are beaming just by looking at the lightened demeanor of her client. "I just did my job." She shakes her head with a smile before stopping on the tracks to look at Czarina for a moment.

"I'm so happy to see you like this. You deserve this." The woman presses the girl's shoulder in a gentle manner.

Czarina can't help the warm feeling spreading in her chest. The relief and comfort that's consuming her right now. Jennifer went out all her way to get all her requests taken into account. She's the main reason why Czarina will no longer be tied down to the former demands of the state.

"I can't thank you enough." The blonde one exhales, still in disbelief that it is really happening.

"It's nothing, this is what I do." She assures the other. "Besides, Bruce kinda strongly pursued me to win this case. And trust me he can be very convincing."

Czarina just laughed at the ridiculous insinuation of the big green man threatening his own cousin to fight the court until their case wins. This is all Jen's work but Czarina is grateful to Bruce Banner for providing the legal aid of his cousin. Be it for the genuine goodness or in the honor of Natasha as his close friend.

"He really wanted this case won. For you... for Natasha." Jennifer continues. The mention of the woman brought a small twinge on Czarina's heart, which the lawyer seemed to take notice of it.

"They were very close, you know." The older one elbows the other, her tone light-hearted and joking. Perhaps an attempt to lighten the conversation.

Czarina rolls her eyes on the comment. "Oh shut up!" She laughs a little.

The younger one's reaction made Jennifer chuckle and encouraged her to push the joke a little more. "Heyyy we were almost family, kinda like an auntie-niece type..."

A louder laugh escapes her. She sounds ridiculous and unbelievable. Czarina walks past the woman, towards the other familiar person on the exit of the building.

Bucky is patiently waiting for his daughter and the good news they bring. He immediately smiles as soon as he senses the good mood between Czarina and Jennifer.

"Hey wanna say that in front of my dad?" Czarina jabs back at her lawyer's teasing, gesturing at Bucky with a huge grin.

"No! I'm kidding!" Jennifer immediately back tracks. "I'm good with the extended family I have actually!"

A shared laugh ripples between the two.

"Good news I hope?" Bucky says as soon as Czarina reaches his spot. He turns his eyes at her daughter's companion and offers a handshake. "Ms. Walters"

"Her pardon has been revised. Her demands are met, she's free to live with you in New York." Jennifer relays the basics of the new agreement between their party and the court.

Bucky nods, satisfaction and relief surfacing on his face. He wraps an arm on Czarina's shoulders to pull her close and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"We're going home, malyshka." He sounds so at ease. "We're going home."

They are.


Czarina's last stop in Boston was the university.

She went to her dorm first to clean out the space she left months ago. Fortunately it was finals week, so there weren't so many students in the building halls when she arrived. She secretly hoped no one would be at the dorm room, both in fear of being confronted with her now public identity and not wanting to explain it to anyone at all. But her former roommate, Ally, happens to be there.

The girl looked like she had seen a ghost when Czarina entered their shared space. For a moment she was frozen sitting in the bunk bed, and then...

"Rina!"

The blonde almost stumbles as Ally jumps on her arms for a bear hug. She's practically clinging on to her.

"Oh my god, it's really you!" The girl shrieks as she tightens her grip on her roommate.

"Shhh!" Czarina cuts her off and pries herself off the long hug. "Yes it's me."

Ally's eyes and jaw are widened as she tries to come up with words to say, but seconds passed and nothing comes out of it but incoherent sounds.

"I am just getting my things here, it'll be quick and you have to be quiet." Czarina says while holding on to Ally's shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.

"You're Red Recluse!" That is all the other girl can say in a whispered shout. She's practically vibrating from witnessing her former roommate appear in their dorm room.

What else is to be expected from an Avenger obsessed individual. If anything, this is calmer than she expected.

Czarina shakes her head in dismissal. "Just calm down okay. Go on, sit here." She carefully guides the girl back to the bottom bunk bed, Ally doesn't take off her dumbfounded stare at her.

"Go on drink." She hands her a glass of water and lets her breath for the next minute. It took a few gulps and maybe a dozen glances back at Czarina before her roommate finally returned to senses.

They share a minute of silence, just staring in the emptiness of the other side of the room.

"My gosh, I have an Avenger in my room." Ally says with complete nonchalance, her gaze far away.

"I'm not an Avenger!"

"I saw you!" The other girl turns to her. "Everybody saw you, it was on live TV! On the news! Your full face. 4k! On the big screen!"

Czarina can only groan as a response. She crosses her arms and leans back on the mattress of the bed they are sitting at.

This is why she wanted so badly to just secretly slip in and out of the dorm building at midnight. So she can avoid this kind of bother. But Bucky insisted that she do it properly, pick up her things and say her goodbyes. He says no matter how she truly felt about her time as a college student, she still needs to give herself closure on that brief moment of her life.

"How? Why? When exactly?" Ally asks, genuine wonder in her tone. Her face is all scrunch up, it looks like the gears of her mind are turning but fails to work every time.

The other girl does not answer.

She can't deny that at some level, she and Ally are friends. Their time together might be brief and limited on the university setting, but the girl was Czarina's very first experience of a light-hearted connection outside of her family or their reluctant allies. Ally made her feel welcome during the days where it was incomprehensible for her to even exist in the same space with normal young adults. Ally's acts of kindness during the first weeks helped her get through the toughest period of being away from her father and thrown into a complete unfamiliar environment.

Ally is her friend.

She deserves even a bit of an explanation why her roommate suddenly disappeared, only to be seen on national tv fighting off extremists.

It took some time before Czarina spoke again.

"It was me. I was in the GRC New York. I'm an independent agent working with.. The Falcon." The blonde rolls her eyes to describe her uncle that way.

"Unbelievable." A soft scoff sounded from Ally, matching it with a dramatic hand throwing. "This is like a fanfiction imagines! Your roommate is secretly friends with the Avengers!"

Czarina lowers down her face. Now she's not sure if Ally is still in disbelief or if the girl is disappointed upon realizing that she might have been lied to.

"Are you mad?"

"What? No! This is like the coolest shit, ever." She counters right away with a chuckle.

"But I didn't tell you stuff and I was with you almost all the time..."

Ally just shakes her head with a playful eye roll after hearing Czarina's worry. "Are you kidding me? Of course you won't tell me everything. Sure Spiderman had friends in his school but kept it a secret. That's the whole point of being a hero, duh."

That struck something in Czarina. Her eyes widened a bit, blood rushing in her head. Did she just call her a hero?

"I'm just glad you're safe and in one piece after you guys beat those Flagsmashers." Ally wraps her arms around Czarina. This time it's gentle and less rough compared to the hug they had earlier.

The blonde girl finds herself smiling.

"You're gonna leave, aren't you?" The other asks her after pulling away. Sadness is evident in her eyes.

Czarina can only nod in response. This is what she came here for in the first place, to say goodbye. She just didn't expect it would be this difficult.

Because now, she feels a sense of longing and a possibility of missing some parts of the brief life she lived here.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lie or make it look like I'm a different person. I'm just not... for all of this in the first place." Czarina's chest tightens a bit just by saying that.

The other girl takes her hand and gently presses it. And with years in her eyes she gives out a nod of understanding. "It's okay. You guys got a job to do. At least I get to have a superhero friend."

"You'll always be my friend, Ally. You know that right?"

Ally briefly leans her head against Czarina's shoulder. A sign of affection and assurance towards the other.

"Come on, let's get everything packed up." She stands up, wiping away the tears on her eyes. Czarina gladly follows her friend's lead. It didn't take long for the two to pack up the few things that she had with her.

When everything was done, the other side of the room now stands bare and empty. More sunlight creeps up inside the place but it didn't make it less lonelier.

"We'll find you a new roommate." Czarina hangs her arm around Ally's shoulder. Both of them now staring at the emptied side of the dorm room.

"Yeah, preferably someone who doesn't have a dairy allergy."

The blonde snorts at the comment.

"Wait, do you even have a dairy allergy or was it just a part of your cover story?"

"If I answer that, I'll ruin my cover story."

"God, whatever." Ally playfully dismisses. She watches as Czarina carries the two stacked boxes and makes her way to the door. Before the other can fully set out for an exit, Ally runs up to her.

"Hey, you're saying goodbye Hazel too, right?"

That made Czarina freeze on her spot. She almost dropped the boxes on the hallway floor.

Hazel. She hasn't seen her for months. Their last conversation was when she's on the plane to Madripoor. God she's just now realizing how long it has been.

Of all of the people it's Hazel who deserves an explanation and a good-bye to her.

"Ye.. yeah." She nods in agreement. "Of course, I'm seeing her later."

"She was so worried when you disappeared and then she just stopped asking one day. You should really see her. I know how close you two are."

Czarina forces a small smile to cover the growing uneasiness inside her. "Thanks, Al." She bids farewell to her friends one last time and proceeds to exit the dormitory building. Passing by a few people on the way, though they hardly recognize the girl.

Ally sounded genuinely concerned. Her words about Hazel left a heavy feeling on Czarina's heart. All of the sudden all her worries about Hazel come flooding in. Czarina didn't even call or text during her three months of disappearance after the semester break. She's been meaning to.

But the girl didn't know how to. What was she supposed to say to her best friend? Where does she even begin explaining all of it?

Czarina beat herself up for not being able to reconnect with Hazel during those months but in the end it was all worries and regrets. No actions were made. She didn't know why it felt so hard to face the fact that she might have disappointed Hazel or worse, she hates her.

God, she definitely hates her at this point. The idea of Hazel hating her made Czarina sick on her stomach.

She feels dizzy, her knees buckling.

Czarina didn't even greet Bucky when she finally reached him at the parking lot of the dormitory, waiting for her so they could go home. She just handed him the boxes and absentmindedly stared at the abyss as he talked and loaded her things on their ride.

"You okay?" Bucky asks as he loads the last box on the car and closes the trunk shut. He had to nudge her daughter to get her attention.

"Yes, I'm okay." She  didn't sound convincing even for herself.

Maybe she should arrange a meeting between her and Hazel. Somewhere outside of Boston, a good coffee shop or diner. Or maybe she can book a place for fancy dinner. Just nowhere nice and beautiful where they can talk about everything properly.

She finds herself biting down on her nails as she taps her foot against the concrete. The blonde straightens herself and runs to hear father who's about to climb into the driver's seat.

"I need to do one last thing dad."

Bucky didn't look so shocked when he heard that. The younger Barnes didn't wait for his response, sprinting from their spot in front of the building towards the other corner of the block.

She's using her raw speed, not even bothering to conceal that she's running unnaturally fast.

"Czarina Barnes you better be careful!" The man screams from the car door.

His kid was already way too far at that moment to hear that. She practically zipped past the second block in a few leaps. She's not thinking straight, she doesn't know what exactly her plan is.

All she's doing is looking at the time in her watch. It's fifteen minutes past 2pm on a Wednesday.

Three blocks from their dormitory, just in the corner of 11th street, there's a coffee shop where Hazel always goes during afternoons. Always. Five times a day during the week. It doesn't matter if she has classes or not, she's there.

Hazel always says that no matter her schedule the cafe will be her go to place. Even if it's just drinking coffee or studying. But she always leaves at 2:30 pm to catch the 3pm bus.

She has to be there right now.

One more block. Czarina didn't even care that she's bumping against other passersby and how her ankles have been twisted a couple of times. She's reaching that place.

By the time she arrived at the front doors of the cafe, her face was red and puffy. Sweat sticking on her tousled, blonde hair.

She pushed past the customers at the entrance to make her way inside. And as soon as she does almost everyone turned to see the hurried newcomer, but Czarina didn't care for any pair of eyes staring at her.

She searched for one gaze on the crowd. The only one that matters.

And there she is. Sitting on her usual spot near the large window pane.

Hazel's mouth is agape. The brunette was frozen in place, she shares the same surprised look as the other people in the cafe. But whilst their gaze eventually averted and they went back to what they were doing, the girl's shocked expression didn't change.

Not even when Czarina was already standing by the booth seat she's at.

Hazel slowly stands.

The two girls are now face to face, only inches away from one another.

The bright, bustling world outside the huge window seems to gradually dim until the moment is the only thing that matters between the two.

Hazel looks hurt as much as she's confused.

This girl has been nothing but kind to her. Even when she knew almost nothing about Czarina, because she pushed her far enough to avoid revealing any truth about her. Hazel was content to know only bits and vague pieces of Czarina's life whilst she opened up to her without any reservations.

She fights the urge to get on her knees, cry and beg her for forgiveness. To just let her heart out. Because it belongs to Hazel anyways.

"Rina...," Hazel says her name in a low tone.

Czarina does not say a single word. She can't. She just stared at the brunette's honey colored eyes. God she's so beautiful. She should just punch me now. I deserve it.

"I'm sorry, for all of it." She starts. "I'm sorry for not telling you the truth, for bailing out of the trip, for suddenly disappearing. I'm so sorry."

Czarina wasn't done. She cannot stop at this point. "You probably saw me on the news, what I am and what I do. Then I never answered your calls or texts. I'm so sorry for ignoring you for so long, I was so afraid you'll be angry at me. I can't stand that. It's not an excuse, I should have-,"

The blonde wasn't able to finish what she's saying. It was cut off by Hazel pulling Czarina's face close to her and sealing her lips with a soft kiss. The other returns the same gesture. Mixture of fresh jasmine and faint vanilla perfume linger on her nose as they pull each other closer.

When they break away, she is almost breathless again. Her chest is booming and blood has rushed up on her entire face. She doesn't let go of her hold on the side of Hazel's face.

"You're an idiot, Barnes. Don't ever do that again, leaving me just like that." Hazel says without any qualms. Though she can't hide the growing smile on her face. "But thank god you're safe and okay."

More than okay now actually. Czarina exhales, shaking her head. She can't help but smile from the way Hazel is practically scolding her. She can't remember anytime that the girl raised her voice this way. She must be really mad, and worried.

"I'm leaving, you know." The blonde looks back at the brunette with a sheepish look.

"I know." Hazel simply says. "Of course you have to."

"I'm sorry, Haz."

"I know."

She brings herself closer to Hazel and wraps her still shaking arms around her. It feels so good to hold her again. The other girl doesn't hesitate to hug her back.

"Promise me you'll still visit me, and you'll call even when you're back in New York." Hazel buries her head on the crook of Czarina's neck.

"Yeah, yeah. I promise." The other says with strong assurance.

They face each other once more. They both shared a wistful look. The obvious longing and pinning can no longer be hidden.

"I'll take you to Brooklyn one day. You'll meet my dad and see my home." Czarina is once again fighting back tears. It's too many good-byes in one afternoon.

Hazel caresses the side of her dear friend's face. A bittersweet smile running across her lips. "I'll wait for that."

The blonde places a soft kiss on the hand on her face. She's leaving her again.

"Go, it's running late. You don't want to be stuck on the road late at night."

It took so much for Czarina to step out of that coffee shop. Even when she's already out, she had to throw one last look at Hazel. And then she finally turns back.

"What happened?" Her father instinctively said as soon as he saw his kid walking back towards the parking lot. Czarina didn't answer that, instead she went straight to the passenger seat of the car and curled inside. Bucky had no choice but to fire up the engine and start driving. The man mutters something about stopping for a late lunch at some diner, The girl doesn't object to it and just nods in agreement.

She didn't speak the entire ride. The two soon arrive at the place Bucky mentioned. He didn't bother the younger one to talk and instead went ahead on ordering a full meal for the both of them. Not a single word came out of the girl until the food has arrived and Bucky was placing it down on their table.

"I kissed her, dad."

Bucky almost spills the gravy cup he's holding. But he retains his relaxed composure, not wanting to scare the chance of his daughter opening up about someone personal in her life.

"And?" It's the only thing the man can come up with.

Czarina feels like melting on that chair seat at that moment. Only now it's hitting her how embarrassing it feels to talk about it. Not the kiss. But the fact that it's the first thing she did after not seeing a girl for so long.

"Is that a bad move?"

God why is she asking her own dad about this.

"She didn't slap you or anything, though?" The man takes a sip on the ice cold glass in his hand. "You guys still talked right? So it's not bad."

Czarina scoffs to herself. She starts to dig in on the meal in front of her. She feels relaxed out enough for the day to finally put something on her stomach. The heavy weight on her shoulders are practically gone now but her head is still buzzing

"So...," Bucky starts to talk again after a while. "Are the two of you..."

He stops himself and gestures incoherently.

Czarina raises her brow, it took her a few seconds before realizing what he meant. Her eyes widened slightly. "No. God no." She was quick to dismiss him.

"She... I don't think she wants to... I don't think I want to as well... We just liked each other."

Bucky seems to be satisfied with her daughter's answer and goes back to the comfortable silence they share. Which Czarina appreciates, it's been a long day anyway.

It was almost past noon when they finished their meal and headed back to the road.

The Boston sky now touched with soft hues of orange and red, as the cold, night breeze covers the highway roads in a light fog. Czarina leans her head against the window of the passenger seat of their ride. The girl takes one last, long look at the city that temporarily became her home.

She is unfamiliar with so many things that are common to regular folks. And Boston, during her brief time of stay, taught her something beyond shallow, fleeting ache.

Sentimentality. A much deeper level of longing she's used to. She leaves the place feeling more... human, she thinks.

As the distance of their ride and the city grows larger, Czarina finds herself thinking of the future. Of what's next once she arrives at New York. She's so used to being given a manual on how live. Be a labrat. Be a soldier. Be a widow. Be a compliant reformed enemy of the state.

She was never just... Czarina.

So how does she exactly do this?

Just one at a time. Just one. She remembers Dr. Alice's words before.

She rummages through her mind of the things she used to want back when the shackles of HYDRA still have their hold on her. As a young girl she used to dream of what to do once freedom finally found her, from little things to life changing experiences. But she keeps outgrowing the ages that she was supposed to do those things and now she finds herself like a tall child wishing for the most childish things.

Think of anything you've always wanted to do. Czarina says to herself. Just one.

"Dad, can we get a painting kit on our way back to Brooklyn?"














ASHA'S FINAL NOTES !

Did... I actually finished a book? I feel so GRRM right now jk

But on a serious note, I'm so so sorry to the readers (if there is still anyone left after so long) if this took so long to be completed. I planned to finish this in 2022 but halfway through that year, some serious matters went down in my personal life and I can't bring myself to write this book. Then in the early 2023 I had a writing stint over my existing Marvel fics because I grew apart from the fandom, then later that year I was able to finish the rough drafts of the last chapters of this fic (there were originally 5 last chapters) but wasn't able to release it due to indecisiveness.

Then 2024 I was confident I would be able to release it but I once again had a dilemma. I had grown apart from the MCU and I found myself not having any idea or future plans to continue my Marvel series.

I was scared that if I published the last chapters of this fic, I would be forever letting go of Czarina's story and this fic series. I didn't have any incoming works for the series and Marvel seems to be going down a disappointing route on telling their stories. So I thought, "what else after this?".

I was scared that this would be my last time writing Marvel fics.

But then, mid 2024 I was able to regain some of my motivation on getting back to Marvel. And I was able to come up with a plan to continue writing this fic series, even if I'm no longer interested in the majority of post-Endgame MCU.

So I was able to solve my dilemma, draft the future works I will write after this and finally decided that it's time to release the final chapters.

And now, we have completed Czarina's story in TFATWS and as of now I have decided to write her and Levi's origin stories that take place in the early MCU phase.

Basically I will be writing a prequel that has the timeline of pre TWS then TWS to Civil War and Black Widow. I will also be writing Michael Rogers' trilogy along with it. So it can have a proper conclusion before jumping on post Endgame fics that I have. Don't worry I will be writing the books of Celestia Strange, Apollonia, Altaire Ogord and Nadine Barton in future, just not now.

To the readers who stayed and those ones from day one, thank you so so much for the tireless support and love that you give me. Y'all part of the reason why I didn't give up on this fic and aim to actually finish it instead of publishing or abandoning. Love to all of you 🤎🤎🤎

I'd love to chat with you about what y'all think about this entire fic and its conclusion. Even just in the comments, I'd like to hear your final thoughts about World's Weight 🤩

Preview on the prequel fic set on CA: The Winter Soldier, post TWS to Civil War it's titled Bloodborne and will told on the switching POVs of Levi and Czarina

Then it will followed by Glory & Gore which covers post Black Widow to pre Infinity War. That shall cover the first trilogy of the twins!

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