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WHAT ARE YOU IF
NOT BLOODIED
KNUCKLES AND
ENDLESS FIGHTS

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The time zone of the episode doesn't match up that well in the story one so I adjusted it a bit, Bucky and Sam finished their couples therapy in the afternoon instead of night here! (I also modified a part of ep 2 in here) I hope that won't confuse the readers 😁 okay so for the chapter....

Even after Shammy left Czarina stayed on the doorway with an unwavering gaze at Jay. She didn't bother saying anything to him. It was painted on his face how shocked he is seeing the girl again after many years. When the man could no longer stand the uneasy atmosphere around them, he stepped out of the way and spoke again.

"Come on, get inside." He invited, pressing his hand against his nape.

Czarina tilted her head in thought and accepted the offer, the watchful glance on the inside of the house didn't leave her eyes. The living room looks ordinary just like any urban home turned into a semi tattoo shop place. Framed pictures of customers and designs hung all over the walls along with a black and white poster of the Wolf Spider. The blonde's breath stirred when her eyes landed on it.

Czarina sat by the single couch facing the sofa where Jay seated himself. As soon as they faced each other again the man was the first one to speak. "What do you want?"

"Look, I'm just here to talk." Czarina frankly replied. She hoped it didn't come off as aggressive or threatening despite the tone.

"How'd you find me?"

The girl exhaled sharply. "I saw the records, I wasn't really sure you'd be here. I promise this won't take long, I need to talk to you."

"Go on. Talk."

Czarina was already adamant at that point seeing the dead, serious look Jay has. But it'll be a waste not to do what she's there for. "I need to know everything you know about the Red Poison."

A dry chuckle sounded from the man's lips, shaking his head as he threw himself back at his seat. "You came to the wrong place, girl. I can't help you with that."

The girl pursed her lips, after all these years he still sounds like the same fourteen year old boy from the Mansion. Knackered and disinterested in the rest of the world as if he had seen enough of it. Only this time it might have been true considering how long it has been since they last saw each other. Right now he might have already seen too much and had every right not to care if everything around him burns. Yuri Ivanov would have been the last person she'll run for help if he's not the only choice they have on this one. Because unlike her, he devoted every bit of his life to forget and leave behind the thing KGB trained them for. The life of fighting. And this one right one in front of him is exactly what it is.

"I know you want to forget all of it and start over. I thought you would have blown me up to bits the moment I step on your porch," she admitted. "Because I know how much you want to stay away from this life but I don't know anyone else who could have helped me with this."

Yuri closed his eyes and cupped his face with both his hands. "Maybe I should have," he scoffed. "Those two Romanoff promised me I would be left alone here as long as I cooperate, guess that's a lie after all."

"It's not." Czarina shook her head. "I know what they promised you, I'm not here to break that. You just have to tell me everything you know about it and we're done."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because right now there are ten super soldiers out there on the loose. Ready to destroy everything who gets in their way. And who knows how many more there will be if I don't find where the serum is coming from." Czarina explained breathlessly.

The older man was visibly taken back a bit. A somehow convinced look appeared on his face after hearing the girl's explanation. He slightly rocked himself back and forth on the seat. "No, no. That's impossible. Who are these people you're talking about?"

"The Flag Smashers, you might have heard about them in the news. The ones we met are super soldiers."

"Yeah I've heard of them," Yuri confirmed. "If they are super soldiers then that's not Red Poison's work."

"What?" Czarina cocked her head, making sure if she's hearing his words correctly.

He gulped uneasily and spoke again after a few beats. "Red Poison has nothing to do with that. I told you, you came to the wrong place."

"Well you could at least tell me what happened to the version of serum in Department X then." She demanded.

"You want to?" Yuri challenged, sounding quite angry this time. "This is what Red Poison does!" The man pulled down the collar of his shirt only to reveal a portion of a disfigured chest underneath it. The skin on it was flushed red and pink, stitches overlapped each other as if it's the only thing that's keeping the whole thing together. Small greying lumps are also visible on its surface. Czarina felt a pain forming in the pit of her stomach as she stared at it.

"1998, they took six subjects from the Mansion to test the unstable serum. That's the Red Poison." He began to tell her with a shaky voice as he covered his chest in shame. "We thought we're all gonna die, but we didn't. Most of us were so weak and burnt after that the Department X decided to just throw the rest in the Gulag except for me, they kept me because they thought it worked. But it didn't at all, I didn't turn into a super soldier as they hoped. We suffered for nothing."

Czarina wanted to scream, to shout out of the anger and agony she's feeling right now. She did this. She's the reason why that serum was tested on people in the first place, if she refused to cooperate with the Department X's science division they wouldn't be able to create another variant of Kudrin serum. That means no human subjects, no testings on widows and wolf spiders, especially the young ones. What she did harmed a lot of people and possibly killed too. This is her doing, and now it's coming after her.

"I'm sorry, Yuri." She apologised, blinking the tears away. "I should have never joined them in creating that thing. I'm sorry."

"You think this is you? No, no, I refuse to see this as anyone's deed other than Department X." His voice wavered. "We didn't have a choice."

"But I did it." Czarina cuffed her trembling hand on her mouth. "And if it didn't work people were hurt because of me."

"Don't do that to yourself. Whether you're part of that or not they're still gonna do it." Yuri insisted again. "Is that why you're here? Searching for these super soldiers and waging into another fight of your life?"

She slowly lifted her head, warm tears streaming down the girl's numbing face. Her knees felt weak and shaking. "Maybe...," she sobbed. Maybe he's right, she's not doing this because it's the right thing. Maybe she's just doing all of this because she feels guilty. Guilty because she left her brother alone, guilty because until now she's been lying to her friends and staying away from them even for a while makes it convenient, guilty because she created a weapon of destruction for her former enemies.

She'll never be like Levi, or her mother. Both who have done good for the world of their own choice and not because they feel debt to their past horrible actions. But she'll always do things because she wants to be more than a trained killer they made her.

"I know that look," he pointed out in a less harsh manner. "Last time I heard about you, you were pardoned by the government along with your dad. You settled down in Brooklyn. What are you doing back here? In another fight?"

Czarina stirred from the sunken position she's in, regaining her composure and drying her dampened eyes. "I just know I had to do something," the young girl scoffed. "Whether it's because of guilt or other reasons. Someone needs to stop these people."

"And it doesn't have to be you."

She only sighed deeply in the man's sentiment. This is coming from someone who had already made up his mind years ago to swore off the life of fighting, she cannot align herself to him. Not at this moment. She needs to focus on what had to do. And that is to know what happened to her abandoned project decades ago.

"That's for another story." She stated firmly. It is. Her guilt and remorse for everything she did is one thing. Czarina not being able to avoid a war after another is a different story. Which is something she wouldn't want to think about too right now.

"How sure are you that the Red Poison didn't work out?" Czarina questioned, swerving the conversation to a different direction. "Yuri, please."

The man looked completely exhausted on hearing about the said serum, he massaged his fingers against his left temple. "When I advanced in the ranks and had access to the weapons division I saw the inactive records of the project. They stopped funding it in the early 2000s. They eventually deemed the Kudrin serum impossible to recreate."

"When I got out of the ice in 2009 I heard they were able to perfect my unfinished formula." Czarina tried telling him what she knew.

"No, those are all just rumors," Yuri shook his head in disagreement. "The Red Poison was a failed project, why do you think they eventually threw me in the Gulag too and Department X didn't have an army of super soldiers when you woke up?"

It took more than a minute for her to absorb the thought. His explanation has a good point, if it really worked why didn't Red Room send out their enhanced widows when SHIELD took them down? Nor did she see any wolf spider graduates from the Mansion who are super soldiers. Yet there is a tiny part of her that thinks there is something Yuri is not telling her.

"Who's the last lead scientist of the research?"

"Gosh, Czarina," he released an exasperated breath and threw his hands in the air. "Do you ever get tired?"

"I know there's something you're not telling me." She gritted her teeth.

"Cause I know you won't stop chasing these ghosts!" Yuri clamored. "I've been there before, I know what it's like to feel so restless about these kinds of things. Even though you know that it's gonna be a dead end."

"Just give me a name."

Czarina was way past being clouded by her emotions, things are getting clearer to her now and she can't put the whole mission at risk because of her feelings. She'll find the right time to deal with those.

"Valeriya Kuzmich." He declared. "Yes, her."

"I know her," the girl hissed, she can feel her blood rising up to her head on the mention of the woman. "And I'm pretty sure she got out alive when the Red Room was taken down the second time."

"You're just gonna punish yourself by looking for her."

"Thanks for your concern," Czarina began to stand up on her seat. "But I need to know how the project really ended."

"Please, Czarina. Red Poison is already gone for so long. Valeriya probably had forgotten about that. Shouldn't you be relieved at this point that the people out there aren't your doing?"

She shut tight her eyes and stopped herself from letting the man's words get the best of her. This is her choice, her decision to know more about what happened to her creation. She tried hard to convince herself again. Because... isn't that what she really wants?

"Thank you, Yuri. Don't worry I won't be bothering you for a long time." She assured and clasped her hands on the strap of her backpack.

"Good luck in your mission, I guess? Say hi for me to my former teacher." Yuri responded with his eyes focused on the floor instead of his guest who's leaving by the door at the moment.

Cold air quickly pricked on Czarina's skin despite the two layered clothes she's wearing. The girl hugged herself tightly as she walked on the streets of Atlanta, the words of a former colleague echoing on her head. She tried to whisk it away yet the pull was too strong. Czarina Barnes may be fearless and can't be easily intimidated but the idea of her being unable to live a life without war scares her to death.

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"He was arrested?!" She asked on the phone for the third time.

"We're heading to the precinct right now." Sam responded.

After receiving a text that they headed to Baltimore after they dropped off Czarina in the city, the girl quickly boarded the military plane on Georgia that Sam requested for her. She's been in the flight for more than an hour when a call came saying that Sam and Bucky can't leave yet because her father had a warrant of arrest.

"We're close in the city," the girl informed the man. "Where are you right now?"

"I'll text you the precinct address. We'll wait for you here. Stay safe in the flight." Sam promised before ending the call to send her the address.

"Sir, how long before Maryland?" The girl inquired about the pilot on the front.

"30 minutes tops, Ma'am."

Czarina nodded in satisfaction knowing they're close to the destination. She didn't have a chance to ask more about Bucky's arrest since Sam seemed to be in a hurry too. But he was able to mention that the arrest was because he missed the court-mandated therapy session for yesterday. It must have left his mind when they went out for the mission. Luckily for Czarina she didn't have to attend sessions for the time she's on the break. It was included in her request, and even Dr. Greene, fortunately, granted it given she'll make it up through other ways of recommended therapy for her.

When the plane finally landed off at the runaway Czarina didn't waste any time to get off it and head for the location Sam texted to her. The officers offered her a ride to the precinct but she refused since they already gave her a special ride to the city. She doesn't want to prolong her inconvenience to them. Though it's nice to know she no longer has a bad reputation to them.

The precinct was quite busy when she arrived but there's not much to expect since it's already afternoon. "Hi," she greeted the officer on the front desk. "I'm looking for someone, James Barnes? Do you know which cell he is in?"

"Barnes is no longer detained. He's on session with his therapist and Wilson at the breaker room." The officer informed her. Soon more people filled in the line on the desk, shoving the girl further on the corner of the floor where the bench seats are. She decided to just stay there and rest for a moment to lessen overarching jet lag she's currently feeling. Ever since they went out yesterday morning with the intent of just visiting Sam, Czarina lost track of the time that had passed. She hasn't eaten anything yet or slept. Though they have time to chase after this mission, she already set her mind that the moment those two are done on their therapy session, she's gonna convince them to take a time to eat first and slow down even for a bit. Besides they both have some explaining to do after rerouting in Maryland instead of coming back to New York. Sam didn't tell her any details on why they are in the city anyway. Talking about it over lunch doesn't seem so bad at all.

Waiting for them made Czarina wish she'll just doze off her seat until Sam and Bucky came out to leave, because she cannot spend another excruciating time alone with her own thoughts. She already had enough of it back at the plane from Atlanta and the whole time she's in that city. The girl needs to talk to someone at this point, which makes her think of calling or contacting Dr. Greene. But she knows that the woman won't let this kind of thing be talked over the phone. She might even fly to Baltimore just to see her.

Suddenly her phone rang, snapping her out of the deep trance she's starting to sink in. "Czarina, where are you?" It was Bucky on the other line.

"I was just right in the lobby, near the front desk." She stood up from her seat and craned her neck to search for them on the floor.

"What? We're already outside the precinct." Bucky answered. "I didn't see you anywhere."

"Damn, old man," Czarina exhaled. "Can't recognise your own kid huh."

"Just get out of there, we're leaving."

The blonde hurried out to catch them outside, almost slamming into a few people on the way down. She spotted the two standing by the exit of the precinct building.

"Really? You two didn't see me?" The girl huffed tiredly.

"Sorry, we thought you hadn't arrived yet." Sam apologised. "You okay?"

"Actually, not really," she admitted. "I know we're on a rush on this one but aren't the two of you feeling a bit hungry? Can we have at least lunch before we leave again?"

The two men exchanged looks after hearing her request. Both of them nodded in shared agreement. "Okay, I'm starving for a meal too. Let's look for a place around." Bucky replied and the three of them started walking away together. All of the sudden a police car sirens at them on the line of parked cars at their side.

They all turned their heads in unison to see who did it. Leaning against the loud vehicle is no other than John Walker and his partner, Lemar Hoskins. Czarina's face fell down as soon as she saw them.

"Captain Douchebag and my hunger at the same time, wow this is really going well for me." She said mockingly.

"Gentlemen, and... she's still here," Walker narrowed his eyes at the girl. "Good to see you again."

She waved her bald fists in the air while muffling what could have been a loud scream. When will he get that they would never team up with them no matter what.

"Look, if we divide ourselves, we don't stand a chance, you guys know that." Walker stated.

Bucky walked past the guy and leaned against a black car. Beside him Czarina stood, shifting her weight from one leg to another and tucked her hands in her jeans' pocket.

"So what do you got?" Sam was the first one to ask.

"Well, the leader's name's Karli Morgenthau. We've been targeting civilians who've been helping Karli move from place to place."

"They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal." Hoskins informed them as he looked back and forth to the three. "But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe."

"We think she's taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps." Walker implored with certainty.

"Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip," Bucky fired back at the soldier. "So I guess you'll have to look real hard."

"Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?" He replied with a coy smile.

"Where is she now, Walker?" The metal armed man demanded. "Do you know?"

"No, we don't know, Bucky." Walker's voice began to rise. "It's only a matter of time before we find out."

"Things are really intense for you, aren't they, Walker?" The remark made the other man stirred in his place as if Bucky hit a nerve on him. Czarina was quick to put herself in front of her father in case she had to hold him back. Though she despises Walker's guts, things are already looking bad and a brawl between the new Captain America and Bucky Barnes is the last thing she wants to witness.

"Take it easy. Look, Walker's right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them." Sam intervened in the growing heated argument. "But you guys have rules of engagement and all kinds of authorizations you have to get. We're free agents. We're more flexible. So it wouldn't make sense for us to work with you."

Sam mentioned really great points, she couldn't agree more on what he said. It'll be easier for them if they remained as independent agents working on the case instead of having full reliance at some higher ups. Bucky puts his hand on the back of Czarina as they all turn away from Walker and head to a different direction.

"A word of advice, then." He wasn't done talking yet after all that. "Stay the hell out of my way." Walker sneered at them with a grave tone on his voice.

For a split second Czarina could have sworn she heard a threat instead of an advice.

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ASHA'S NOTES !

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You might have noticed that Department X, the Mansion and Wolf Spider Ops have been mentioned many times in the story so I thought of giving a quick background about it. Since this fic is the first on the series but there's already so much to unpack on both Czarina and Levi's origins. (Reminder: I got this all from the 616 Marvel and just modified some of it for my series.)

In the comics Department X is a covert Soviet government agency that created the Red Room, and the Winter Soldier. They also created the Wolf Spider Ops but later it was deemed a failure. Their goal is to train and produce Super-Soldiers to battle the west for the KGB.

But since in MCU it's HYDRA who mostly handled the Winter Soldier program I thought it'd be better if I just wrote it as a joint project of Department X and HYDRA. In that way Bucky being an instructor in the Red Room will be possible. Thus the winterwidow storyline like in the comics. And since KGB was said to be dissolved in 1991 to be exact, it's safe to assume that Department X ended up being a full ally to HYDRA for protection and to stay in power. That's why the twins were in shared custody of the two organisations. And that's also why when Natasha took down the Red Room for the first time, HYDRA decided to only save Czarina from the destruction.

And yes I'm well aware of the "stealing" of Red Room from HYDRA's North Institute that happened in the BW movie, I will cover and explain that in the third book of this series. It's gonna be a Levi centric story but Czarina would still be mentioned.

Anyways as long as you've read the first two chapters of this book you won't be confused by the timeline of the twins' life from their birth to training to escaping and to the current story.